Bite your own hand because mine is gone..
We have left behind our homes of love trust and friendship..i still cant believe how much this world lies to itself..every day. it seems that my flower in full bloom turns the other way and leans for the ground..kissing your dirty feet of lies..I hear thunder in the distance..and i let myself go...but the clouds move so slow and I with open mouth cry for relief..I beg...for your reasons of change..My life ever so slow and my life ever so long........I found out threw myself and my eyes exactly how lies live in a feathered mask. I had friends of the brutal kind..very angry at the weak..these friends and i wear strong with flaws like iron butterflys..I felt anxious and restless....my friends and i felt relieved even honored after being part of any violence.....I think less for them now..they seemed to fall apart from the inside..they had this coming after my brother could not speak threw his bloody face...so many people with no thoughts..just a reason to let out there demons..I feel the most stupid when i think about myself..one thing we should know..we are our own gods..us never being perfect for each other or ourselves..we will dance to seduce, dress to attract, lie to keep, talk to motivate..we will watch ourseleves lie in place and mimic the way we should be..god is a perfect human..like looking in a mirror..and there is none...I can show you compassion!! I can give you an eternaiy of trust but recieve nothing!! I really can be everything you wanted..I would love to know how many people feel in love with me..I am not conceited i just want to know..i want to know how they felt in moments shared with me..then i will tell you how many of these people are with me now..none..none..none. I dislike people they seem to all be just alike..freindships are for fools and love is for the liers..we hope to be more then we are to be..what is wrong?...I wish i was blind deaf and could not speak..I would be so perfect..untouched by this world..defined only by myself threw colorless thoughts. I was lied to. I was lied to by my family, by all my friends, and by all my attractions..my heart did nothing but take abuse..I dont care for anybody anymore..well i do just never the same...the truth that can not live without this is that i am a lier..I fooled..every moment that was spent..it was planned..with out notice our lives change so fast..and i care so deep..that no one can keep up with me..but..I am not your friend I am not in love and I am not your family..I am JAMES..defined by myself..I want to be alone..to choose who i want in my life at any time..i want to throw your face threw glass but hide your hands..i want to be classical fall into a fucking mold where i want to rot..define me tell me what you felt!!! tell me how you feel...I am so emotionless that its killing my relationship..I am so dead..sometimes its hard to kiss back..i can not lift my arms..little lies anchored my fingers to the floor. I care less about people but more about times..I wish everyone was here..to entertain me..in the way you are..kissing is for canniblas i recently said...i am 20 % unbalanced then some nights i just play it off like a mime. real gestures but no real rope to climb..