No Other Choice, Chapter 4/6

[simplyshanni]

Title:  No Other Choice
Author:  SimplyShanni
Beta:  None. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
Disclaimer:  This is a work of pure fiction. It has been written solely for fun, not for profit. No disrespect is meant to the actual individuals represented here and I make no claims about their sexual orientation in real life.
Pairing:  Orlibean
Genre:  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance and a bit of Schmoop.
Summary:  Something is very wrong with Sean. He hasn't been himself since returning to New Zealand after Christmas break.
Warnings:  Chapter 4 contains Minor Language and Adult Concepts.
Rating:  Ranges between PG and Hard R. Please do not read this story if you are under the age of 18! This chapter will be Strong PG-13.



Author's Note:  I realize that this was supposed to be the final chapter of 'No Other Choice' but it just keeps growing on me! I've decided to add one more chapter. Since it is nowhere near completion yet, I have no idea when Chapter 5 will be posted, but I'll try to make it soon. Until then, I hope you all enjoy Chapter 4. I would, however, like to ask everyone to please keep an open mind. This contains a rather different take on the usual characterization of Sean, but in order to stay true to the story line, he couldn't remain the typical, stoic Northern bastard we all know and love. Deep inside, though, where it really counts, he's still the same strong, forceful man he's always been...as he'll be happy to prove in the end! ;D!

Chapter 4/6

Confession Is Good For The Soul

Blazing panic flared strongly within Sean. 'What the sodding hell did I just do?!' he wondered frantically. Fighting back the waves of sickness suddenly tearing at his gut, he forced himself to swallow back the nauseous dread and take several deep, calming breaths. As he did so, he was finally able to focus his attention solely on Orlando. Orlando, who was sitting there, still as a statue and not scrabbling to get away from him. Nor was he looking completely grossed out or wiping away the kisses in abject distaste.

None of Sean's worst nightmares were coming true and that, at least, was a positive sign. But the way the young man continued to stare at him so eerily, so blankly, left Sean feeling dangerously off-balanced. He found himself rushing into hurried speech, his pronounced accent clearly betraying his overwrought emotions. "Orli...Orli, please, I...I am so sorreh. I should not ha' doon tha', but I can explain. Really I can," he averred disconsolately. "Ye see, lad, well...tah be honest, I've grown tah...tah love you too...but...but as more than a friend. The truth is...I've fallen in love with you, Orlando Bloom," he admitted quietly, lowering his eyes to his own nervously twisting fingers as he made this halting confession aloud for the first time.

There! He'd finally said it, and now there could be no going back. A strangely giddy combination of relief and anxiety thrummed all throughout Sean. It took him several pounding heartbeats before he felt brave enough to raise his gaze back up to Orlando. Despite the state of his own unsettled nerves, or maybe because of them, he had to fight the incongruous urge to chuckle at the decidedly glazed expression on the Elf's angelic face. 'Floored, might be a good word to describe it,' he decided. 'Flabbergasted would work as well, as would poleaxed, incredulous, gobsmacked, stupefied, dumbstruck or simply stunned into utter disbelief.' But these whimsical speculations did him very little good and Sean knew it was time to find out what was actually going on inside the younger man.

"Are ye alright, lad?" he questioned cautiously. "Ye're lookin' a bit taken aback, tah put it mildly. I'm sorreh, Orli. I know I pract'ly knocked ye o'er the head with all this. It weren't my intention, though, tha' mooch I can assure ye. Guess I ought tah be grateful that ye ha'nt run screamin' from the room, tearin' yer hair out in disgust or summat," he concluded only half-jokingly.

Sean's self-deprecating remark finally penetrated the haze of confusion Orlando had been lost in since the man had taken him in his arms and kissed him so thoroughly. Had that truly happened? And had Sean confessed that he was in love with...him? "Seanie," he beseeched, but shut his mouth instantly when his voice emerged as nothing more than an embarrassing croak. His face flushing a becoming shade of pink, the young man cleared his throat and tried again. "Sean, all of this feels so...so surreal. I find it hard to believe that this is actually happening, that I'm not caught up in some bizarre dream. Did you really just...just tell me that you...love me? Are in love with me?" he asked shakily.

Talk about your loaded questions! Sean reached deep down inside himself for both his courage and his control, but a bit of his native Sheffield still bled through as he answered Orlando with unflinching honesty. "Aye, lad, I do love you. Very much indeed, never doubt it. I've wanted you from the moment I first laid me eyes on your gorgeous self, but only in the last few months did I admit that it could be more than physical attraction. Right before Christmas break, actually, while we were trapped together in the back of beyond. Those bloody landslides have a lot to answer for. But due to...outside influences, shall we say, I've been fighting with my feelings ever since. Keeping that much strong emotion bottled up inside me, however, has made me a right grumpy bastard. Which, unfortunately, you saw for yourself at lunchtime today. Between that moronic display and the kisses I all but forced on you just now, it's a wonder you're even here, sittin' beside me still. From now on, Orli, I promise, I will control meself. I'll prove it to you, if you'll only give me the chance. And I want you to know that I'm not tellin' you eny o' this because I expect you to return me feelings. If your continuing friendship is all you have to offer, then I will count mahself lucky to have it. I just...I need you in my life, lad, in whatever way you're willin' to be a part of it, only please...please tell me that I haven't scared you off!"

And there it was, as simple and as complicated as that. Sean's heart, Sean's very essence laid bare for Orlando. All of it, every last bit of Sean was now his for the taking, and the young man didn't know what to say or do first. So many emotions were writhing and twisting inside him right now that it felt as if he'd been caught up in a violent tornado. Breathless, aching love and fierce desire warred with painful doubt and uncertainty over the many questions still unanswered in his own mind. Intense relief that his recently discovered feelings for this wonderful man were not unrequited did battle with the fear that niggled through him at the unprecedented nature of those very feelings. Simultaneously, he acknowledged a boundless admiration for Sean's courage in speaking so plainly, so openly, even as deep compassion filled him for the torment the Yorkshireman must be going through as he waited for a response to his brave declaration and heartrending plea. Buffeted by this churning melange of emotions, it was the naked vulnerability in those emerald eyes, which were gazing at him so imploringly, that actually pushed Orlando into action.

Rising to his feet, he closed the minuscule distance that separated them. Standing before Sean, he hid his inner turmoil as he looked down upon him, considering what his next move should be. Before he could talk himself out of it, he determinedly seated himself on the inviting lap, facing the bigger man as he straddled him in a single movement that somehow came off as being both awkward and graceful at the same time. As if the unexpected lapful of Elf wasn't a big enough surprise for poor Sean, Orli then proceeded to tenderly cup the shocked face in gentle, bow-callused hands and drop a delicate kiss on the tip of a hawk-like nose. Drawing back after giving the nose a final nuzzle with his own, he watched the ruggedly beautiful features transform from startled amazement, to confusion, to dawning realization; finally settling into an expression of cautious joy.

The sweet smile Orli offered in return filled Sean with the irrepressible desire to reach out and hold him. Succumbing to temptation, he threw all caution to the wind as he pulled the slender young man flush against his chest before wrapping him up in a tight hug. His eyes immediately rolled back in his head and he barely managed to stifle a harsh groan when he felt the hug being reciprocated with equal enthusiasm. Aye, this is what he'd longed for, what he'd been needing for weeks now! His lad, in his arms, precisely where he belonged, but it still wasn't quite enough. With a grumbled huff, he began to maneuver them around on the couch, happy to find that Orlando effortlessly followed his every move. By the time he was satisfied with their position, he was laying flat on his back, head on a soft pillow, with Orli draped over him like a boneless, impossibly sexy blanket.

A sigh of pure pleasure escaped from Sean as he tucked the young man's ticklish strip of chocolate curls beneath his chin, rubbing contentedly against the downy softness as he held him close. Ahh, much better now, but he knew that it couldn't really be as easy as this. They still needed to talk before they could simply relax and enjoy each other. "Do this mean ye won't be runnin' away from me enytime soon, lad?" he rasped quietly, his bold Northern burr roughening in a compilation of simmering passion and mild anxiety. Though he was fairly certain he knew how Orli would respond, he couldn't help the little frisson of doubt that continued to play havoc with his self-confidence as he waited for a reply.

The possessive embrace and lingering caress of chin to hair, not to mention the blatant sensuality of the voice rumbling in his ear all combined to send tingles coursing through Orlando. He was fully aware that Sean only fell into that particular manner of speech when his emotions were highly aroused. Knowing that he was the one responsible for this instinctive reaction only served to heighten his own physical and emotional sensitivity. Much to his regret, this was not the right time to give in to either one, though. Sean had asked him a serious question and he deserved a serious answer.

Reluctantly untucking his head from its cozy resting place, Orlando raised himself up to his elbows so that he could directly meet the older man's inquiring gaze. "No worries, Seanie. I won't be running from you anytime soon. Or at all, for that matter. I'm exactly where I want to be. You haven't scared me away, love. I don't think such a thing would even be possible, though I have to admit that all this," he paused to gesture at the way they were entwined, "is a tad overwhelming. I've never done this with another man before. It feels...I don't know, odd, I guess, but so very right at the same time, yeah? I feel safe and protected here in your arms, Sean, and I want nothing more than to offer you that same safety and protection in return. Am I making any sense at all?"

"Aye, lad, perfect sense. 'Tis the first thing tha's made sense tah me in far too long," Sean whispered through a painfully constricted throat. With an agonized gulp, he pulled Orlando up high enough so that he could bury his face in the welcoming curve of a long, elegant neck. He'd been through such shite during his disastrous marriage to Abigail. Other than his lovely little Evie, nothing good had ever come from it. Years of disappointments and broken promises, of unfounded suspicions and false accusations, of degrading criticism and vitriolic sniping, had devolved into a living nightmare. Their last few wretched weeks together, however, had nearly brought him to his knees. The sheer nastiness and dirty tricks had escalated to epic levels during their final confrontation, but in the end, it was all over except for the waiting. He had returned to New Zealand a free man, with the papers for his divorce signed, sealed and delivered into the hands of the British Courts. Sadly enough, he'd also returned with his tail tucked firmly between his legs, emotionally raw and bleeding internally.

But he was safe now. Orli had said so, and his lad never went back on his word. The long-delayed process of healing could finally begin. In fact, if he held very still, he could almost feel the warmth and comfort of Orlando seeping into him, filling up some of those cold, wounded, desolate places hidden deep inside himself. It was an incredible sensation, really, and he could only marvel at the caring and generosity that were such an innate part of the remarkable young man he was clinging to so tightly. It was in that moment that he became aware they had somehow switched positions once again. Orli was now wedged into the back of the couch, sitting up in the corner with Sean resting against him, his head cushioned on a solid shoulder. A strong hand was rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder blades and another was massaging gently through his blonde hair. His own hands were locked in place at the small of a surprisingly well-muscled back, desperately clutching at twin fistfuls of soft cotton shirt that had come untucked from the waistband of low-slung jeans.

The first Sean knew of his own bitterly reluctant tears was the cool sensation of dampened fabric underneath his cheek. His second clue came in the rhythmic rocking motion of the protective arms that were wrapped around him so securely. Only then did he notice Orlando's voice, murmuring soft reassurances into his sensitive ear. Not shushing, nor trying to prevent him from crying, but actually encouraging him to release all the accumulated years of pent-up pain and suffering. "That's it, love, that's the way," the young man whispered. "Just let it go. You've been through so much. Too much. This is your chance to get it all out. To purge the grief. I'm here for you, Seanie, you're not alone anymore," he pledged hoarsely, his words hushed and teary with empathy. "The road ahead of us may not always be a smooth one, but I'm with you all the way. I won't let you down. You can give it all to me, all the anger, all the hurt and resentment. It's been festering inside you for far too long, poisoning your life, the way you see yourself and the world around you. But I've got you now. You can cry it all out on my shoulder, in my arms, and I'll still be here for you when there are no tears left to be shed. I'm making you a vow, Sean, a solemn oath that together, we can get through anything."

The fierce storm of emotions inside Sean had found a sheltering harbor at last. He wasn't being told that this was wrong, that he needed to suck it up and be a man. That he had to tough it out and deal with all the consequences of the decisions and mistakes he'd made along the way. Instead, he was being assured that this was the right thing to do. That here, now, with Orlando, was the right time and the right place to let loose, to grieve for all he'd endured, for all he'd lost to the black hole of his unhappy marriage. He'd never known such natural, unquestioning affirmation of his own feelings before and it washed over him in a rush of relief that was almost too great to fathom. Overwhelmed by the new experience, he felt that last, hard kernel of Northern stubbornness dissolve away as he wept. Unreservedly, unashamedly, he let the tears flow free, and when the storm finally passed, he felt cleansed to his innermost soul.

He had no clue how much time had passed. It could have been an hour or it could have been mere minutes, but when he finally quietened and lay still, a tender kiss was dropped on his golden head. Unfortunately for Sean, the peace didn't last for long. No sooner had he settled down comfortably when Orlando began squirming about. With a mild frown creasing his brow, he issued a disgruntled "Oi!" of protest. When even that didn't put an end to the jostling, he tried the direct approach. "How can I hold you if you won't stay still, lad? What's suddenly turned you into such a wiggle-worm, anyway?"

Ignoring the question, Orli continued to readjust their positions until he could reach across to the tray of now-cold tea and snag a couple of paper napkins. Putting his own to good use, he dabbed at his watery eyes and blew his nose quite heartily, but as was his peculiar tendency, the action produced very little sound. After finishing, he offered the other napkin to the now-enlightened man, who was once again snuggled up to him quite cozily. "Sorry, Seanie, all for a good cause," he explained unnecessarily. "Didn't think you'd want me messing up your shirt instead. Besides, you look damn fine in that and I'd hate to ruin it by using your collar for a hankie."

The off-handed little compliment made Sean blush with pleasure and snort with amusement, all at the same time. As he reached for the proffered napkin and wiped unobtrusively at his reddened eyes, he couldn't help but wonder at his own lack of embarrassment after losing it in front of Orlando the way he had. He could only put it down to the fact that he sensed nothing but open, unstinting acceptance emanating from the young man he was pressed against so happily. Giving a slight shrug, he proceeded to blow his own nose in a much less discreet manner. The loud noise this produced made Orli giggle.

"Quiet, you!" Sean scolded the lad teasingly. "Not everyone can be a wee, delicate Elven flower when blowing one's nose." He watched as the velvet-dark eyes widened in reaction to the deliberate taunt, then narrowed. "Oh, I did not hear you say that!" Orlando exclaimed as his body tensed. When Sean did nothing but smirk back at him in cheerful defiance, those gorgeous eyes darkened even further, taking on a distinctly menacing if mischievous gleam. "Take it back, Seanie." he demanded warningly. "Or else...!"

His face now set in an expression of smug amusement, Sean couldn't resist the urge to goad Orlando just a bit more. "Else what, pretty Elfli-ingg-gaahhh!" His question had started out quite facetiously, but ended in a startled yelp as he suddenly found himself flipped over onto his back. Blinking in shock, he gazed up at a madly grinning Orli, who now held his thick wrists in an unbreakable grip, pinning them to the couch on either side of his head. Lean thighs were firmly clamped to Sean's hips, skillfully forestalling any attempt he might make to wriggle free. Aye. He was well and truly trapped, and he wasn't exactly sure why he should be so surprised. For all his willowy slenderness, Orlando was deceptively strong, not to mention lightening-quick into the bargain. He could move with all the speed and power of a tightly coiled steel spring, and, as the Hobbits had taught him all too well, he wasn't afraid to fight dirty.

All of this flashed through Sean's mind in less time than it took to draw a single breath. The only real warning he had was a shiver-inducing growl of, "How's this for a delicate Elven flower, Seanie?!" before the younger man launched into an all-out tickle attack. Now in a fair fight, Sean could hold his own. He could hold his own and then some! A tickle attack, however, was not a fair fight. Like Superman with kryptonite, he too possessed a secret weakness. He was highly ticklish and, as if that wasn't bad enough, especially for a tough Northern bastard like himself, there was a certain area, located just below his sternum at the apex of his ribcage, where he was insanely sensitive. If anyone managed to zero in on this particular spot, he could be rendered utterly and instantaneously helpless. To his everlasting regret, the suddenly sadistic little git on top of him was the only person in all of New Zealand who knew about this embarrassing fact.

Orli had discovered the hidden vulnerability early on, during one of their many friendly tussles. Being the more physically dominant man, Sean had nearly always been able to prevent the lad from using this knowledge against him, but after the profound emotional upheaval he'd just gone through, he was caught with his guard down. Long, clever fingers were now flying faster than the eye could follow, prodding and digging until he became a writhing, gasping, hysterical mess! It went on for what felt like an eternity, but Orlando eventually took mercy on him and the tickle torture ceased. Breathless and panting from exertion, their gazes clashed with laser intensity. Seemingly out of nowhere, a hot spark of desire flared to life between them and all playfulness abruptly disappeared.

The atmosphere around them grew heated, thick with an ever-building sexual tension that practically vibrated through the air. "Bloody damnation, but you're beautiful, lad!" Sean husked out with profane reverence. "I know I should prolly be plotting revenge here, but when I look at you, all I can think about is holding you close, kissing that luscious mouth! Will you kiss me, lad? I want to feel those soft, rosy lips o' yours against me own. Not because I'm taking this time, but because you want to give."

For endless seconds, Orlando found himself lost in Sean's sparkling emerald eyes as his pounding heart threatened to break free from its fragile cage of flesh and bone. "Oh, yes!" he finally sighed, bobbing his head in nervous but eager assent. "Please, Seanie, I think I'd like that very much. I was too shocked to even know what I was feeling when you kissed me earlier, but I'm ready now." And putting action to words, he dipped his head the scant few inches necessary for them to join together in their first true, shared kiss. It began hesitantly, almost chastely, the unfamiliar but exciting rasp of Sean's 'Boromir' scruff giving him momentary pause. But when the older man's moist, velvety tongue brushed enticingly at his already tingling lips, Orli's head whirled dizzily from the thrilling intensity of the sensation. Willingly, he opened to the delicate but determined thrust, and met the seeking tongue with his own.

'Oh, holy hell!' It was the only semi-coherent thought Sean's brain could come up with. This kiss was so different from the previous ones that he'd bestowed on Orlando, and it was all due to the young man's enthusiastic participation. Though he'd started out a bit tentatively, once their tongues met, his lad seemed to catch fire! Orli was currently licking and laving, sighing and nipping gently with his teeth and Sean felt a core-deep, inner trembling begin. Both of their bodies were growing hard with need and a low, passionate growl was torn from him as he, in turn, explored every delicious crevice of the hot, wet, unbelievably sweet mouth clinging to his own.

When he realized how very affected he was becoming, Sean knew it was time to pull back. They still needed to talk before they could even begin to take the physical side of their relationship to the next level. Biting back a distinct moan of impending loss, he took control of the kiss and slowly gentled the press of his lips and tongue. With a final, tender nibble, he eased away from the plump, reddened mouth hovering so temptingly above him. A physical shudder of regret shook his large frame as he buried his nose in the flushed curve of Orli's neck, hugging him close for all he was worth.

"Mmmmm...mmph!" A contented sigh emerged from Orlando, but when no further kisses followed, it turned into a little squeak of protest as he tightened his arms around Sean and refused to release him. Blinking open dazed chocolate eyes, he pulled back just slightly so that he could peer down in astonished wonder at the older man. "That was...that was...well, I don't really know what that was, 'cause I've never felt anything quite like it before in my life! You certainly do know how to kiss, Seanie! In fact I'd like nothing better than to continue kissing you all night long. Why'dja stop?"

Sean beamed in happy if rather rueful amusement at the innocent question. His lovely lad didn't seem to understand how close he was to total ravishment. As if to prove that very fact, Sean found himself reaching unconsciously for the back of Orlando's head, bringing him into an even wilder meshing of lips and tongue and teeth. It didn't last half long enough, though, as he forced himself to end the kiss all too quickly. He could not allow himself to get carried away or they would never manage to clear the air between them!

"I love kissing you as well, Elfling, but we went about this rather backwards, did we not? We really should talk first. I've so much that I need to explain to you, so much I need to make up to you. And I can do none o' that lying here beneath you. When I'm near you like this, the only thing I can focus on is my desire to strip away ev'ry last stitch o' yer clothing and make love to you. Forgive me for being blunt, little one, but there you have it," Sean explained, looking at Orlando a bit uncertainly as he wondered how the younger man would react to the unvarnished truth of his disclosure.

For the first time since he'd spontaneously settled himself into Sean's lap, Orli's nerves truly began to kick in. It wasn't like he was suddenly unsure of his love for Sean, nor did he have the slightest doubt about his burning desire for the ridiculously sexy man. The blazing hot kisses they had only just shared, not to mention the uncomfortably tight crotch of his previously baggy jeans, made him more than aware of that! But up until this afternoon, he'd never even thought about joining his body with another man's. Now, he was forced to acknowledge that the idea of Sean making love to him, of being inside him, was an extremely intimidating prospect!

He dropped a last kiss on Sean's forehead before lifting himself off of the well-muscled torso. Standing aside, he waited for the man to rearrange himself until he was once again seated comfortably. Sitting down next to him, Orlando met his probing stare. "If you haven't already guessed, Sean, I love you very, very much," he sincerely declared. "I should have mentioned it before but we sort of got side tracked, yeah?" He took a deep breath in order to continue, but paused as he heard Sean's own breath leave him in a mighty gust of relief and delight.

A touch of guilt nudged at Orli's conscience. He'd obviously been keeping the poor man in suspense by not openly admitting what he felt for him sooner than this. With a consoling smile, he reached out to give the now relaxed and beaming face a light caress. "Sorry, love, I didn't mean to cause you needless worry." he apologized. "From that big sigh you just released, it's obvious I really should have told you much earlier. My feelings for you are an established fact, Seanie. That will never change," he promised before taking another deep breath. Now came the difficult part.

As their eyes locked together, he tried to take courage from the sense of pure love that seemed to radiate from every pore of the older man. "You own my heart now, Sean, so please, don't ever doubt that I love you. I do have to make a small confession, though. I...I'm not...I'm not sure that I'm ready to make love with you. Oh, don't get me wrong! I want you, really I do! Hell, you melted me into a puddle with just a few kisses! But as you know, I've never made love with another man before and...and it scares me a bit. I...I hope you're not too disappointed in me," he mumbled, bowing his head unhappily as he waited for Sean's response.

Aching tenderness filled Sean as he leaned over to place a soft kiss to the dark strip of silky curls. He could feel the nervous trembling of Orlando's body as he gathered the slender young man him into his arms. "It's alright, Lamb," he whispered soothingly. "There's no need to be frightened. I don't expect you to immediately jump into my bed. I realize how new all o' this is to you and we can take it as slowly as you need. I promise, love, we go at your pace or we don't go at all."'

The young man's head jerked up in surprise as he arched back enough to meet Sean's patient green eyes. "Really?" he blurted. "You don't mind? You're not upset with me? 'cause I feel like the worst sort of tease for kissing you like that and then backing off. I thought you might...might be regretting getting yourself involved with an immature kid like me right about now, yeah? I certainly wouldn't blame you if you were."

"Orli, Orli, Orli," Sean scolded mildly as he shook his head in gentle reprimand. "No lad, I could never regret being with you. I love you, silly Elf! If all I wanted were a quick shag, I could get that anywhere. I sure as hell wouldn't have spent the last month and a half in torment, trying to figure out what to do with all my mixed up feelings for you! And we really do need to talk. I want to tell you about me and Abby, about why I were avoiding you. You deserve to know the truth."

TBC