eh, so I'm feeling just a little depressed...
but it's just a mood, and it'll pass. :^)
So, last week, I got really, really sick. Sicker than I've been in years... probably since my junior year of high school. It was miserable, adn it knocked me out for days. But cool, I thought I was better...
BUT... I STILL haven't fully recovered from illness. It's kinda weird/annoying. Generally speaking, I'm ok. Like, I can now climb up the hill to class and not be dying the entire way through conducting. I've also been running and such... which is good. But I still get this sharp pain in my stomach if I don't eat, or if I accidentally eat too much. Or if I don't drink water... but I can't drink too much water, either, or else I really start feeling miserable. If I DO start getting stomach pains, I have lie down flat on my back until they go away, which takes about 10 minutes. It's just weird... I can't remember this ever happening before.
The decision of Grad School (I'll graduate in December, and enter grad school for Spring Semester) SFA vs. UAF still stands, and I go back and forth daily. And then I got thinking, "Well, shouldn't I at least look INTO BYU? Seeing as that's the place where Jordan will most likely want to go?" I dont' even know where to start with that one. Maybe my best option is to just take the semester off. ... I guess I feel that if I do I'll lose my opprotunity for my assistantship and everything (and yes, I have already been given an assistantship by SFA for the Spring, and UAF has told me that they'd be happy to try to make it happen for me)... but a semester off would be so very nice, and I mean, don't I deserve it?... But then I wouldn't get to do the opera that semester, which I would LOVE to do... see how I talk myself in circles? I hate this. I feel like I'm an idiot for walkign away from a decent opprotunity, but even more of an idiot condemning myself to at least 4 more months of a long-distance relationship. I look at my goals in life... what do I truly want? Well... to be honest, I would give anythign to be with Jordan. Well, that kidna makes my decisino for me, don't you think? ... but... what if I could have BOTH. What if it's BETTER that I stay in Texas that semester. What if long-distance works for us? I definately want both if I can have both... but I"m not sure I can have both... ok, I'm going to shut up now.
But otherwise, my life is pretty decent. not to much craziness before the end of the semester, just a conducting project/final, and packing. Both are fairly big projects, but nothing too terrible. I'm not too stressed. I can't believe I'll be back in Alaska in a week... this semester went by so quickly. It's been dramatic and emotional, but probably the most fun I've ever had at college.
Anyway, I'm off to bed...
aj
So, last week, I got really, really sick. Sicker than I've been in years... probably since my junior year of high school. It was miserable, adn it knocked me out for days. But cool, I thought I was better...
BUT... I STILL haven't fully recovered from illness. It's kinda weird/annoying. Generally speaking, I'm ok. Like, I can now climb up the hill to class and not be dying the entire way through conducting. I've also been running and such... which is good. But I still get this sharp pain in my stomach if I don't eat, or if I accidentally eat too much. Or if I don't drink water... but I can't drink too much water, either, or else I really start feeling miserable. If I DO start getting stomach pains, I have lie down flat on my back until they go away, which takes about 10 minutes. It's just weird... I can't remember this ever happening before.
The decision of Grad School (I'll graduate in December, and enter grad school for Spring Semester) SFA vs. UAF still stands, and I go back and forth daily. And then I got thinking, "Well, shouldn't I at least look INTO BYU? Seeing as that's the place where Jordan will most likely want to go?" I dont' even know where to start with that one. Maybe my best option is to just take the semester off. ... I guess I feel that if I do I'll lose my opprotunity for my assistantship and everything (and yes, I have already been given an assistantship by SFA for the Spring, and UAF has told me that they'd be happy to try to make it happen for me)... but a semester off would be so very nice, and I mean, don't I deserve it?... But then I wouldn't get to do the opera that semester, which I would LOVE to do... see how I talk myself in circles? I hate this. I feel like I'm an idiot for walkign away from a decent opprotunity, but even more of an idiot condemning myself to at least 4 more months of a long-distance relationship. I look at my goals in life... what do I truly want? Well... to be honest, I would give anythign to be with Jordan. Well, that kidna makes my decisino for me, don't you think? ... but... what if I could have BOTH. What if it's BETTER that I stay in Texas that semester. What if long-distance works for us? I definately want both if I can have both... but I"m not sure I can have both... ok, I'm going to shut up now.
But otherwise, my life is pretty decent. not to much craziness before the end of the semester, just a conducting project/final, and packing. Both are fairly big projects, but nothing too terrible. I'm not too stressed. I can't believe I'll be back in Alaska in a week... this semester went by so quickly. It's been dramatic and emotional, but probably the most fun I've ever had at college.
Anyway, I'm off to bed...
aj