crap day...
it is 5:30 in the morning, yet i've still not gone to sleep, so i'm still referring to today as being wednesday...try not to get confused..
so today...not so good. it seems like with my friends when one of them is in a bad mood, they all get into a bad mood. one of my friends moved away today so some of the goodbyes got very teary. i was alright with the crying, i understood that it is sad to tell a good friend bye when they are moving away. but the first time i was at my friends's place, i didn't stay too long. i went home and ate dinner with my parents and then my parents went to bed so i figured i'd go back over and hang out at my friends. i assumed that after giving them 4 hours atleast some of them would be in a better mood. nope...not the case. tonight was the first time i have actually cried in front of them. it was stupid and i wish i wouldn't have cried, but at the moment, i couldn't make myself stop. i hate getting asked if something is wrong when i'm crying and if i'm around other people i feel like i will have to explain it to them. i wasn't sad so much as my feelings got really hurt tonight. this guy that i've been friends with forever was in a horrid mood and was just being rude towards me. if it would have been anybody else there i would have just blown it off, but this is a guy that no matter how much of an asshole he is to everybody else in a room, he's a complete sweetheart to me. i hated crying in front of my friends. i know they felt bad cause i couldn't stop crying long enough to tell them what happened. i felt like such a girl, it is rediculous. i was crying over stupid shit that didn't even really matter...it was just that him being rude took me by surprise and hurt cause in the many many years we've known each other, never has he even raised his voice at me.
i'm not gonna be worth shit tomorrow when i go to school...it is 5:47 right now, and i'm waking up at 11:45...and if i don't get like 10 hours of sleep i'm grumpy and can't concentrate. yeah...classes should be REAL fun tomorrow.
i made my daddy worry about me cause i wasn't home when he woke up this morning. he called me very unhappy. and now i'm not able to go anywhere tomorrow after classes, or anywhere at all on friday. and i can go off with friends starting saturday if my room is cleaned. i'm 18 fuckin years old. why are they now trying to make stupid rules...i've never been grounded. yeah i've missed curfew a few times and they said i'd lose my car and this bullshit, but i never did...ever since sarah and philip moved out they've started being A LOT stricter on me. which is funny because now i'm a legal adult. but of course, i'm still under their roof so i have to follow their rules.
i just wish their rules weren't so stupid...
ok hopefully my clothes are finally dry now (that's why i'm still awake, so i have clothes to wear tomorrow). i'm sleepy...
so today...not so good. it seems like with my friends when one of them is in a bad mood, they all get into a bad mood. one of my friends moved away today so some of the goodbyes got very teary. i was alright with the crying, i understood that it is sad to tell a good friend bye when they are moving away. but the first time i was at my friends's place, i didn't stay too long. i went home and ate dinner with my parents and then my parents went to bed so i figured i'd go back over and hang out at my friends. i assumed that after giving them 4 hours atleast some of them would be in a better mood. nope...not the case. tonight was the first time i have actually cried in front of them. it was stupid and i wish i wouldn't have cried, but at the moment, i couldn't make myself stop. i hate getting asked if something is wrong when i'm crying and if i'm around other people i feel like i will have to explain it to them. i wasn't sad so much as my feelings got really hurt tonight. this guy that i've been friends with forever was in a horrid mood and was just being rude towards me. if it would have been anybody else there i would have just blown it off, but this is a guy that no matter how much of an asshole he is to everybody else in a room, he's a complete sweetheart to me. i hated crying in front of my friends. i know they felt bad cause i couldn't stop crying long enough to tell them what happened. i felt like such a girl, it is rediculous. i was crying over stupid shit that didn't even really matter...it was just that him being rude took me by surprise and hurt cause in the many many years we've known each other, never has he even raised his voice at me.
i'm not gonna be worth shit tomorrow when i go to school...it is 5:47 right now, and i'm waking up at 11:45...and if i don't get like 10 hours of sleep i'm grumpy and can't concentrate. yeah...classes should be REAL fun tomorrow.
i made my daddy worry about me cause i wasn't home when he woke up this morning. he called me very unhappy. and now i'm not able to go anywhere tomorrow after classes, or anywhere at all on friday. and i can go off with friends starting saturday if my room is cleaned. i'm 18 fuckin years old. why are they now trying to make stupid rules...i've never been grounded. yeah i've missed curfew a few times and they said i'd lose my car and this bullshit, but i never did...ever since sarah and philip moved out they've started being A LOT stricter on me. which is funny because now i'm a legal adult. but of course, i'm still under their roof so i have to follow their rules.
i just wish their rules weren't so stupid...
ok hopefully my clothes are finally dry now (that's why i'm still awake, so i have clothes to wear tomorrow). i'm sleepy...