Life Choices: The Rise & Fall of Lindsey McDonald [An overview of everyfiveyears]
Graphic by remember_nomore
Fan-fiction writing if you think about it is like taking the character of your choice, slapping them onto a table and dissecting them. You see what makes them tick and you see how they’ll react when you throw them into the situation you’ve set up for them. It could be something simple or something really out there…hey, we’ve all done that.
Digging inside the mind of Lindsey McDonald has to be one of the most enjoyable things that I have ever done as a fic writer - ok, maybe second to Tara - but both of them are so complex and rewarding when written the right way. Tara talk for another time, I’m playing with that smooth talking southern boy now.
Diving into the mind and character of a morally ambiguous character such as Lindsey can be hard at first, but once you dig deeper you find out that he’s one of the most rewarding characters to write about; especially for being on the show for a total of twenty-one episodes over five years.
The six following stories were written for a challenge on live journal called every five years. This community’s goal was to pick a character from any fandom and write a fic longer than five-hundred words for every fifth year of their life starting at age five.
Now, granted in canon we don’t know a lot about Lindsey’s past - he grew up in Oklahoma, dirt poor and constant struggle - the rest we’re left to assume as writers as well as readers.
Lindsey McDonald is an authors dream when it comes to writing, he’s a villain of circumstance, forced and manipulated onto the path that he was lead to believe was the better road. Lindsey’s path is shadowed with doubts even as he continues on that it makes him one of the better characters to write. A villain - such as Angelus - is straight cut, you know the object of their obsessions and their goals, and it’s easy to see the path they’ve chosen. It’s just the same for someone of outright good.
The choices Lindsey has made - the right or wrong one - has always been for one goal: a better life for himself. He was determined not to be poor, hungry, homeless or dirty ever again, he compromised his beliefs to a certain extent for that goal.
Lindsey is constantly finding himself scraping for attention and approval from those he can’t get it from, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. We see it all through the show from the very beginning when he looked to Holland Manners for ‘fatherly’ approval, until the very end when he found himself desperately gripping for Angel’s acknowledgment that he wasn’t beyond saving and he still had some chance for that better life he’s been desperately clawing to get.
As one of the most misguided characters Lindsey often looked for approval and worth in every wrong place he could. Blind Date is the perfect example of that, that was our first canon view of Lindsey trying to do what’s right and what’s for the better of himself. His want and need to gain Holland’s approval and respect made him get Vanessa Brewer [The blind woman] off on all charges and then moments later went to Angel for help and guidance to stop the ball he sent rolling without full knowledge.
Lindsey’s path was clear to him the first years of working at Wolfram and Hart. He knew what he wanted and needed to do and he did that, which was his object even before Wolfram and Hart stepped into his life.
Then in came Angel.
Angel was more than ‘the good guy’ or the one Lindsey needed to watch out for. He was the conscience he long since forgot he had, Angel was everything that Lindsey was wanting and never could be, Angel had the passion that Lindsey had so long ago forgotten, and fighting for what he wanted and knew was right without moral compromise. It was a striking blow to Lindsey knowing that Angel - a soulled vampire - could have good intentions and fight for the things he believed in, even long after he forgot.
Their conflict stemmed from that and fueled the fire for hatred and loathing they had.
At some point things changed, Lindsey had left LA to find his life - the one he’s wanted - and dared The Partners to come after him. Tribal tattoo’s hid him for nearly three years till the pull of LA and his jaded sense of what’s right brought him back.
Lindsey came back knowing that Wolfram and Hart could rip him apart without so much of an afterthought. Lindsey’s ambiguous morals came into play again, his desire to get Angel back for everything - from his hand to losing Darla and shoving him off his ignorant path at the firm - but his desire to stick it to Wolfram and Hart was greater.
He manipulated the situation that Angel and crew were in to better his plans to screw Angel and the firm. Recruiting Spike and turning him into what Angel once was and then activating the fail-safe in the basement of the Wolfram and Hart building. All were actions that were aimed to bring home what he said to Angel before he left…
‘Don’t let Wolfram and Hart play your game, make them play yours…’
But I believe I’m getting off the point I was trying to make. The six stories - or tales if you will - might give you a deeper glance into who Lindsey was and what shaped him into who he was. This might be just my point of view or it could be yours as well, everyone has a different perspective on a character and it’s nice to look at things from different angles.
One of the tough things that I had was writing for the ages that I was assigned, not because writing Lindsey is hard, but simply because some of the most defining moments for him - before Wolfram and Hart as well as after - happened at an ‘odd’ age. From losing the house he grew up in when he was seven to losing his life before he was thirty.
Hopefully I’ve done canon and Lindsey justice with my view of the things we didn’t know before and the reasons why he’s so driven and beautifully jaded.
Life Choices: Lindsey McDonald Chapters
Age 5 - Don't Matter at All
Age 10 - Haunting Memories
Age 15 - Where the Heart Is
Age 20 - The Hardest Choice
Age 25 - Moments Defined
Age 30 - New Beginnings For An Old Soul
Feel free to leave feedback about the entire series here or in each chapter. Feedback = Love