Going Insane in Sausalito
Okay I'm back to being pissed again. It's been days since Mitch Allen posted in my journal. I just went to his and told him to friend me and that I wanted answers.
I am sick of waiting. I want to know what is going on with Ben, why the hell he left me like he did. The detective hasn't called today but Brooke said I shouldn't bug her, that she'd call when she had more information.
So now what do I do but wait and wonder if someone's just fucking with me or that Ben is somewhere hurt or in trouble--this many days passed if he's in trouble who knows what could've been done to him?
Aaron hasn't called back either. I haven't talked to Karl or Lee, they're out on the boat with Darren and Daniel. I should've just done what Daniel wanted, gone home. Back to Australia. Screw all this and say forget it, but I have to watch over Lee's Landing and Hey Dog for Karl and I won't let him down.
Right now if Ben walked through the front door I'd be so pissed I'd likely punch him. I know I know real mature Lindsay but he doesn't realize what this is doing to me. Why can't he just call and say look dude, it's over, I've got me someone new and screw it or call me and say hey, I've got something I really need to deal with and I promise… Dammit--I keep rereading his old lj notes (TWO WEEKS since the last one) and the way he feels about me is obvious, it's right there, but then why isn't he here?
Do I go on living my life? Make a new one? Sit by the phone in agony? Okay actually I have my cell phone glued to my hand practically, I panic if it isn't there just in case Ben calls, or Aaron or the detective or Mitch Allen
Brooke wants to go horseback riding on the beach so that's what we're doing this afternoon. It's New Year's, and I've got a great line-up tonight at the restaurant for live music, we expect a record crowd (of course we're a new restaurant so that isn't surprising) and I'm going to be up until way late in the early hours and I'm dreading every minute of it. Thank God for Brooke. She's been my sanity. And so patient with me, didn't even scream this morning when I woke up wrapped all over her. LOL. Sorry about that babe and hey at least I kept my pj's on. I just am a high-cuddle-need type of guy. I don’t know what I'll do when she has to leave. I really don't.
Ben, if you are reading this will you PLEASE contact me? Please? Even if it is to say goodbye? I don't want to say goodbye but if that is what you want then I'll do it.
Lindsay
I am sick of waiting. I want to know what is going on with Ben, why the hell he left me like he did. The detective hasn't called today but Brooke said I shouldn't bug her, that she'd call when she had more information.
So now what do I do but wait and wonder if someone's just fucking with me or that Ben is somewhere hurt or in trouble--this many days passed if he's in trouble who knows what could've been done to him?
Aaron hasn't called back either. I haven't talked to Karl or Lee, they're out on the boat with Darren and Daniel. I should've just done what Daniel wanted, gone home. Back to Australia. Screw all this and say forget it, but I have to watch over Lee's Landing and Hey Dog for Karl and I won't let him down.
Right now if Ben walked through the front door I'd be so pissed I'd likely punch him. I know I know real mature Lindsay but he doesn't realize what this is doing to me. Why can't he just call and say look dude, it's over, I've got me someone new and screw it or call me and say hey, I've got something I really need to deal with and I promise… Dammit--I keep rereading his old lj notes (TWO WEEKS since the last one) and the way he feels about me is obvious, it's right there, but then why isn't he here?
Do I go on living my life? Make a new one? Sit by the phone in agony? Okay actually I have my cell phone glued to my hand practically, I panic if it isn't there just in case Ben calls, or Aaron or the detective or Mitch Allen
Brooke wants to go horseback riding on the beach so that's what we're doing this afternoon. It's New Year's, and I've got a great line-up tonight at the restaurant for live music, we expect a record crowd (of course we're a new restaurant so that isn't surprising) and I'm going to be up until way late in the early hours and I'm dreading every minute of it. Thank God for Brooke. She's been my sanity. And so patient with me, didn't even scream this morning when I woke up wrapped all over her. LOL. Sorry about that babe and hey at least I kept my pj's on. I just am a high-cuddle-need type of guy. I don’t know what I'll do when she has to leave. I really don't.
Ben, if you are reading this will you PLEASE contact me? Please? Even if it is to say goodbye? I don't want to say goodbye but if that is what you want then I'll do it.
Lindsay