Stories Produced by Procrastination.
So, I thought it was time for a life update.
I thought it was time for this, largely because I have a mountain of laundry that I should be doing - the sort of mountain that is only preceded in size by the pile that is my homework, and, you know, Mount Kilimanjaro and actual mountains and whatnot. So, of course, this seemed like it’d be more fun. Though I do get the feeling that the world (and more specifically my roommate) would appreciate it more if I did the laundry. Ah well.
So, yeah … I’ve now officially been at college long enough to not know how long I’ve been at college. I guess it would have to be over a month, if at least by a little. It’s weird how quickly I’ve adjusted to things here - in a good way, I suppose. I really lucked out in terms of who I’m living with; Mary is a really fantastic roommate, and the girls on our floor are all really amazing, as well. I mean, I do realize that inevitably there are going to be points where we won’t be able to stand one another, and of course there’s going to be drama - we’ve had it from pretty much the first night, to be honest. It’s not perfect, and it won’t ever be perfect … and yet … I think it’s significant that when somebody from our floor goes out, we ask them when they’re coming home.
But enough of my sap, onto the funny!
Being a spoiled brat of an only child, I’ve never had to share a room with anyone before. Since coming to college and living with Mary, I’ve come to realize that I’ve seriously been missing out.
Mary talks in her sleep. Well, no - she doesn’t talk, she swears; it’s like she has nighttime tourettes. It’s really, really funny. What happens is she’ll be asleep (I’ll typically be in bed trying to fall asleep) and then without warning she’ll sit straight up, look around wildly and then make some really funny, profanity laced declaration, and then plop back down into her bed llike nothing happened. Highlights of her nighttime chattering include:
- “Christopher Walken! Fuck!”
- “Fuck!” I’m still up, sitting at my desk on the computer, and she looks at me in a panic. “What class is this?” I reassure her she’s in the dorm. “Oh, well fuck that shit.” She goes back to sleep, looking at ease.
- “Fuck the flowers!”
- The other night, I woke up to her sitting up, muttering to herself. I thought she was actually awake this time, and went, “What?” She promptly freaks out. “Goddamnit you scared me!” Realizing she was in dirty-mouthed sailor mode, I told her to go to bed. Which lead to more freaked out-ness. “Holy shit? Did you hear that!” “… What?” “Fuck, there it is again! Holy shit!”At this point I realized she was freaking out because of the sound of my voice, and burst into a fit of giggles. Which, frankly, didn’t help matters worth, but was kinda worth it.
One of the cool things about Hollins is that it’s a school with lots of really old traditions. One of the most revered and beloved traditions is Tinker Day. Essentially Tinker Day is school-wide holiday, where the President cancels classes, and instead the whole school gathers together and climbs Tinker Mountain. Somehow this has come to mean you wear crazy costumes and eat nothing but junk food, as well - there are lots of specific details to it, that you can read about here, along with snippets about our other crazy traditions and secret societies. A big part of Tinker Day happens long before the day actually happens though through Tinker Scares. Tinker Scares are what happen when the seniors get drunk and decide to be obnoxious, only it’s school-sanctioned (mostly, I’m sure the school doesn’t care so much for the drunk part). What happens is a bunch of seniors decide to pull a prank on the freshman, and run through the freshmen dorms, banging on pots and pans and screaming and hollering, pretending that it’s Tinker Day. Then, once they get the majority of us out of our rooms and staring at them, they reveal it’s all a scare, and that we do in fact have classes in the morning. So far, we’ve had … three-ish scares and they’ve actually been kinda lame. Which, really, was sort of disappointing. I’ve only ever been asleep for one of them, so it’s not like they’ve really affected me. The fun part was how, during the last Tinker Scare, I was up, sitting in the Common Room with Katy-with-a-y, Shelby, Kate, Amanda, and a few others when they came running through as per usual, right? Well, Katy-with-a-y got the bright idea that we should follow them. So, we joined in! Helped scare the third floor and first floors. We would have gone with them over to Tinker (the other dorm), but none of us felt like going back to our rooms to grab our keys so we could get back in when it was over. It was lots of fun though! I don’t even think the seniors noticed us. Plus, it gave us the great idea that for April Fools (long after Tinker Day has actually past) our floor is going to have a fake Tinker scare on both the other dorm, *and* the seniors’ apartments.
What else? Oh! You know what I did last weekend? Last weekend I went to Virginia Tech! Or, well, more accurately, I wound up at Virginia Tech. See, what happened was Jayni, Laura, and Katy-with-a-y decided they wanted to get out of the dorm and go for a ride - seeing as we do live in the very scenic Blue Ridge Mountains they thought it’d be fun and pretty to just drive along the highway through the mountains - and I tagged along. After about an hour’s worth of driving and heavy metal German music, Jayni decided she an insatiable craving for chocolate chip cookies, and apparently that desire was contagious because Laura, Katy and I promptly started wanting some too. So, we’re driving back home, and Laura sees a sign for V-Tech, and opines that surely a big college town like Tech would have its own bakery with freshly made cookies. So we decided to drive around and have a look, not realizing that it was a game night and that thus driving around there would crazy. Nevertheless, we were girls on a cookie quest and could not be deterred by the heavy traffic, impossible parking, and alarming displays of school spirit. We finally found a place to park (though we had to pretend we were residents of some apartment building) and got out and walked around. It was actually a pretty cool place, and experience. Completely different from Hollins in the sense that it was *huge* and there were, you know, vast amounts of Y chromosome carriers (or, as I’ve taken to calling them - because college has made me a dirty pervert - penis-havers) everywhere. We wound up not finding a bakery, so we went to a Dairy Queen instead. Then we stopped at the Virginia Tech bookstore, where Jayni had some fun with one of the employees there because she was buying a German to English dictionary (apparently our own bookstore didn’t carry one), and for some reason this prompted the guy behind the counter to think she was in his Intermediate German class. Which … not so much, unless he cross-dresses on the weekdays.
Then, last night, I went to the opera for my first year seminar class (LOL: Laughter on Stage and Screen). We went and saw Hansel and Gretal (Gretel? I’ve yet to figure out which is the proper spelling), which up until that point I hasn’t realized could even be an opera. Still, It was free, and it was nice to dress up and get out for the evening so I really can’t complain. As far opera goes, I’m no expert by any means, but I thought it was alright. After they killed the witch there was this funny little song where they sang about how the witch’s new job involved being shish-kabob. In all honesty, the best part was after the show when we stopped at Taco Bell - it was the first fast food I’d had since I’d gotten here! So delicious. So not nutritious.
As far as classes go, I like all of mine. I’m still prone to fits of rage against poetry, but I have to admit that when we talk about it in class, it’s not so bad. Plus, the teacher turned out to be really nice, and easy-going; I was worried after the first day that he was going to be a hardass, but that sort of strictness really hasn’t been applied since then. Also, he’s pretty cute! So, that’s always nice.
My American Government class is amazing, even if it is at asscrack-of-dawn o’clock in the morning - Professor Ra, who teaches it, has just lived such an incredible life; I’m amazed he’s even teaching at such a little school as Hollins considering all the things he’s done, and people he knows. I mean, seriously, the guy graduated from the same school as and has a strong relationship with the new Secretary-General of the UN! He’ll come in a few minutes late to class and apologize, saying the interview he was giving on NPR ran a few minutes long, or he’ll end Friday classes early because he has to go Belgium to present a paper at a conference (this happened yesterday, no joke). I mean, he’s the head of our Political Science Department, as well as Virginia Tech’s (I think … he might just be one of their professors, but still), but he still finds time to go to all these conferences, *and* write books! You want to know what the coolest part is (for me, anyways)? I’m pretty sure he has over two hundred students this semester between Hollins and Tech, but guess what? He knows my name. Just because he’s such an amazing teacher, with so many cool stories and experiences to share, I don’t mind being up until eight in the morning writing a paper on the state of the U.S. Healthcare system, and giving an in-depth comparison between Senator Clinton and Senator Edwards proposed healthcare plans. (Well, okay, no, I do - but only at the time of writing it. After the fact I’m pretty cool with it.)
I think it’s true what they say, about college being a life changing experience. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so awake (even though, honestly, I think I’m sleeping more here than I did at home) and alive.
I thought it was time for this, largely because I have a mountain of laundry that I should be doing - the sort of mountain that is only preceded in size by the pile that is my homework, and, you know, Mount Kilimanjaro and actual mountains and whatnot. So, of course, this seemed like it’d be more fun. Though I do get the feeling that the world (and more specifically my roommate) would appreciate it more if I did the laundry. Ah well.
So, yeah … I’ve now officially been at college long enough to not know how long I’ve been at college. I guess it would have to be over a month, if at least by a little. It’s weird how quickly I’ve adjusted to things here - in a good way, I suppose. I really lucked out in terms of who I’m living with; Mary is a really fantastic roommate, and the girls on our floor are all really amazing, as well. I mean, I do realize that inevitably there are going to be points where we won’t be able to stand one another, and of course there’s going to be drama - we’ve had it from pretty much the first night, to be honest. It’s not perfect, and it won’t ever be perfect … and yet … I think it’s significant that when somebody from our floor goes out, we ask them when they’re coming home.
But enough of my sap, onto the funny!
Being a spoiled brat of an only child, I’ve never had to share a room with anyone before. Since coming to college and living with Mary, I’ve come to realize that I’ve seriously been missing out.
Mary talks in her sleep. Well, no - she doesn’t talk, she swears; it’s like she has nighttime tourettes. It’s really, really funny. What happens is she’ll be asleep (I’ll typically be in bed trying to fall asleep) and then without warning she’ll sit straight up, look around wildly and then make some really funny, profanity laced declaration, and then plop back down into her bed llike nothing happened. Highlights of her nighttime chattering include:
- “Christopher Walken! Fuck!”
- “Fuck!” I’m still up, sitting at my desk on the computer, and she looks at me in a panic. “What class is this?” I reassure her she’s in the dorm. “Oh, well fuck that shit.” She goes back to sleep, looking at ease.
- “Fuck the flowers!”
- The other night, I woke up to her sitting up, muttering to herself. I thought she was actually awake this time, and went, “What?” She promptly freaks out. “Goddamnit you scared me!” Realizing she was in dirty-mouthed sailor mode, I told her to go to bed. Which lead to more freaked out-ness. “Holy shit? Did you hear that!” “… What?” “Fuck, there it is again! Holy shit!”At this point I realized she was freaking out because of the sound of my voice, and burst into a fit of giggles. Which, frankly, didn’t help matters worth, but was kinda worth it.
One of the cool things about Hollins is that it’s a school with lots of really old traditions. One of the most revered and beloved traditions is Tinker Day. Essentially Tinker Day is school-wide holiday, where the President cancels classes, and instead the whole school gathers together and climbs Tinker Mountain. Somehow this has come to mean you wear crazy costumes and eat nothing but junk food, as well - there are lots of specific details to it, that you can read about here, along with snippets about our other crazy traditions and secret societies. A big part of Tinker Day happens long before the day actually happens though through Tinker Scares. Tinker Scares are what happen when the seniors get drunk and decide to be obnoxious, only it’s school-sanctioned (mostly, I’m sure the school doesn’t care so much for the drunk part). What happens is a bunch of seniors decide to pull a prank on the freshman, and run through the freshmen dorms, banging on pots and pans and screaming and hollering, pretending that it’s Tinker Day. Then, once they get the majority of us out of our rooms and staring at them, they reveal it’s all a scare, and that we do in fact have classes in the morning. So far, we’ve had … three-ish scares and they’ve actually been kinda lame. Which, really, was sort of disappointing. I’ve only ever been asleep for one of them, so it’s not like they’ve really affected me. The fun part was how, during the last Tinker Scare, I was up, sitting in the Common Room with Katy-with-a-y, Shelby, Kate, Amanda, and a few others when they came running through as per usual, right? Well, Katy-with-a-y got the bright idea that we should follow them. So, we joined in! Helped scare the third floor and first floors. We would have gone with them over to Tinker (the other dorm), but none of us felt like going back to our rooms to grab our keys so we could get back in when it was over. It was lots of fun though! I don’t even think the seniors noticed us. Plus, it gave us the great idea that for April Fools (long after Tinker Day has actually past) our floor is going to have a fake Tinker scare on both the other dorm, *and* the seniors’ apartments.
What else? Oh! You know what I did last weekend? Last weekend I went to Virginia Tech! Or, well, more accurately, I wound up at Virginia Tech. See, what happened was Jayni, Laura, and Katy-with-a-y decided they wanted to get out of the dorm and go for a ride - seeing as we do live in the very scenic Blue Ridge Mountains they thought it’d be fun and pretty to just drive along the highway through the mountains - and I tagged along. After about an hour’s worth of driving and heavy metal German music, Jayni decided she an insatiable craving for chocolate chip cookies, and apparently that desire was contagious because Laura, Katy and I promptly started wanting some too. So, we’re driving back home, and Laura sees a sign for V-Tech, and opines that surely a big college town like Tech would have its own bakery with freshly made cookies. So we decided to drive around and have a look, not realizing that it was a game night and that thus driving around there would crazy. Nevertheless, we were girls on a cookie quest and could not be deterred by the heavy traffic, impossible parking, and alarming displays of school spirit. We finally found a place to park (though we had to pretend we were residents of some apartment building) and got out and walked around. It was actually a pretty cool place, and experience. Completely different from Hollins in the sense that it was *huge* and there were, you know, vast amounts of Y chromosome carriers (or, as I’ve taken to calling them - because college has made me a dirty pervert - penis-havers) everywhere. We wound up not finding a bakery, so we went to a Dairy Queen instead. Then we stopped at the Virginia Tech bookstore, where Jayni had some fun with one of the employees there because she was buying a German to English dictionary (apparently our own bookstore didn’t carry one), and for some reason this prompted the guy behind the counter to think she was in his Intermediate German class. Which … not so much, unless he cross-dresses on the weekdays.
Then, last night, I went to the opera for my first year seminar class (LOL: Laughter on Stage and Screen). We went and saw Hansel and Gretal (Gretel? I’ve yet to figure out which is the proper spelling), which up until that point I hasn’t realized could even be an opera. Still, It was free, and it was nice to dress up and get out for the evening so I really can’t complain. As far opera goes, I’m no expert by any means, but I thought it was alright. After they killed the witch there was this funny little song where they sang about how the witch’s new job involved being shish-kabob. In all honesty, the best part was after the show when we stopped at Taco Bell - it was the first fast food I’d had since I’d gotten here! So delicious. So not nutritious.
As far as classes go, I like all of mine. I’m still prone to fits of rage against poetry, but I have to admit that when we talk about it in class, it’s not so bad. Plus, the teacher turned out to be really nice, and easy-going; I was worried after the first day that he was going to be a hardass, but that sort of strictness really hasn’t been applied since then. Also, he’s pretty cute! So, that’s always nice.
My American Government class is amazing, even if it is at asscrack-of-dawn o’clock in the morning - Professor Ra, who teaches it, has just lived such an incredible life; I’m amazed he’s even teaching at such a little school as Hollins considering all the things he’s done, and people he knows. I mean, seriously, the guy graduated from the same school as and has a strong relationship with the new Secretary-General of the UN! He’ll come in a few minutes late to class and apologize, saying the interview he was giving on NPR ran a few minutes long, or he’ll end Friday classes early because he has to go Belgium to present a paper at a conference (this happened yesterday, no joke). I mean, he’s the head of our Political Science Department, as well as Virginia Tech’s (I think … he might just be one of their professors, but still), but he still finds time to go to all these conferences, *and* write books! You want to know what the coolest part is (for me, anyways)? I’m pretty sure he has over two hundred students this semester between Hollins and Tech, but guess what? He knows my name. Just because he’s such an amazing teacher, with so many cool stories and experiences to share, I don’t mind being up until eight in the morning writing a paper on the state of the U.S. Healthcare system, and giving an in-depth comparison between Senator Clinton and Senator Edwards proposed healthcare plans. (Well, okay, no, I do - but only at the time of writing it. After the fact I’m pretty cool with it.)
I think it’s true what they say, about college being a life changing experience. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so awake (even though, honestly, I think I’m sleeping more here than I did at home) and alive.