"when you seek me you'll destroy me... born and bloodied every single time"
Category VIII - The
Lurker
Though you wish for more, you usually inhabit the
fringes of your social groups.
What Type of Social Entity are You?
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That's really fucking true I think.
I'm kinda... I dunno. I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy or thrilled by any means either. I hate how I'll fall into this trap one day and it lingers around for a few more. It annoys me.
I'm playing the role of 'backup friend' today. I'm also being melodramatic I suppose. But when someone says "I asked so and so but she couldn't so now I'm asking you" I grumble and go into that line of thinking.
whatever...
John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert is tonight... I should've bought tickets! *sniff* oh well... another time perhaps.
I started having a dream about Anthony when Jaxie called. JAXIE!!! lmao... it was weird tho, i'm glad I got woken up. I don't even like anthony like that.
Jason told me last night that Lanette asked him if Randall and I were dating. LMAO! Me and Randall CRACKED UP it was so funny. Poor guy can't hang out with anyone w/o people thinking stuff.
I want to go to a friggin dermatologist. Don't think it's gonna happen though. The goddamn doctor's office doesnt like to refer ppl b/c the insurance company gives them hell about it and I HAVE to have a referall. BUT, they've tried treating me for... hmm 2? 3? years, not working so maybe...
I did some Accutane research... hell no, they'll never give that to me. Nor do I think I want to go through all that. You only have to wash your hair twice a week because your body gets so dried out. AND you could lose some hair. O_O not to mention a monthly pregnancy test and monthly blood work. O_O yesh. And you have to do it for like... 20 weeks or something like that... 5 months. It works though.
It also makes some people suicidial. I don't really need that. lol.
This is a good line: "It takes so much out of me to pretend." The context it's used in doesn't work, but that line alone is very good. I do a lot of pretending. Though, I think maybe you have to. First I pretend to be happy and then i usually end up happy so i guess it works! lol. i dunno.
"I'll let you know when I figure it out."
Hmm...