This song ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside...
You know, it's weird. I feel like I have my options in front of me right now. I've been thinking about physical therapy, maybe. I wish I'd always dreamed of being a doctor or something. Because not being on a clear path quite yet leaves me feeling...unambitious. and I don't think that I'm unambitious. I can work hard, I just think about the future too much. Like, do I want to go back to school for 6 years, when I'm just gonna get married and have kids? well, I'm not going to necessarily get married by the time I'm thirty, there's no guarantee, so why not just go for it?
I've also decided I need to eat more natural foods. it would be healthier.
Also, I think I hate Halloween. I kind of dread Halloween parties, and it's because I suck at costumes, and I end up feeling like everyone else is cooler than me. I just don't think about what I want to be for Halloween, or what would be funny.
I just feel kind of bleh. I feel like I'm more interesting than I seem. I walked around Quarry Hill yesterday and today. It was really beautiful, perfect walking weather. I feel emotionally numb. It feels like there's a lot going on right now and I feel like I'm suspended in a state of nothing very concrete.
Kate played hooky from working yesterday and hung out with me, it was rejuvenating. Man ohmanohman.
So many feelings, and yet so numb at the same time. I'm sure that I'm overwhelmed, but should I be? I don't think I'm a pessimist. I hope not. I would give anything to just sit and be with someone right now.