The Opri Legacy :: 2.1
Opri Generation 2.1
Delphine manages to retain her trademark motherly expression while caring for and neglecting Elliot. That, friends, is true motherhood.
Since Elliot's father is an annoying (BUT SMEXY) tool, we call up ginger head #2.
Delphine: Yeah, well... I HOPE YOU DIE THE DEATH OF A DIABETIC LLAMA.
Back to Jon it is then. At least they have something in common. A kid.
Delphine: I'M STILL POOR, BITCH!
Love will mend all wounds, darling, love will mend all wounds.
Delphine: *is still dirt poor and paranoid*
Jon: HOLYCRAPBABY! *family Sim spasm*
Yes Jon, the green cloud is a physical manifestation of hunger. And that stench? It's your reward for being such an excellent parent! Enjoy!
Delphine: *eye twitch* I am so lucky to have him around! God, and to think I was going to change Elliot's diaper. Lawl, I crazzzzy sometimes.
In Delphine's defense, Elliot is quite hobbit-like. Who's to say she can't eat like one?
Jon decides to pick up the flamingo in the back... after kicking it over.
Could I expect anything more from two horny half-wits?
It's doubtful.
This is what happens when you hit Delphine Opri with a pillow. YOU GET STARED DOWNNN.
Jon: Uhm, sorry?
They put their differences aside when they remember the true nature of their relationship: BOOTY CALLS Y'ALL
I would be more sympathetic if she wasn't so annoying.
Delphine: Sooo hungry!
Delphine: Whoops, time for bed!
Delphine: Aw, damn that didn't help! Still starving!
Yeah, feeding my kid always fills me right up.
FAIL.
I finally directed her towards some food. So much for being self-sufficent.
Time for Elliot to explode into toddler-dom
*squishes* CUTENESS!
Yes.
Elliot: Dearest mother, this hunger is causing me pain! Your assistance is required immediately!
Delphine: Er, No hablo ingles... yeah.
Delphine continues to spread a plague of ugly around the neighborhood.
Jon moves in and Delphine gets stoned off hugs.
Emelina Rum (Yes, like the pirate beverage) is the first person to be bitter about one of Delphine's makeovers.
This makeover was 100% mirror. Delphine is not screwing up my Jonny boy.
Emelina: My name is Emelina and my face is the creation of your girlfriend, who I must conclude is a whore. Not that I'd hold it against you.
Delphine: *smiles*
Jon: REESES PIECES, SEVEN UP, YOU MESS WIT ME I'LL MESS U UP... BITCH!
Watching your babydaddy get his ass kicked by a psychotic teenager is a major turn-on.
I decide that I'd rather not make enemies with Emelina, so we'll try to make her look pretty. For real this time.
You know it makes you tingly.
Oh noes she didnnnn't!
YOU'VE TAKEN IT TOO FAR, RUM. PUT THE BABY DOWN.
Emelina: I shall raise you as my own and use you against your parents. *provide own evil laughter here*
Emelina: Hai 5?
DO NOT WANT.
PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SPECIES, DIPSHIT! (Preferably not Elliot. Kthanx.)
I see those emotional scars are settling in quite nicely.
EMOBABY D':
POPPED
Jon, it's faces like these that make me regret allowing you to bang my founder.
Behold the power that is INVISA-PAPER-TEEN! (Or something equally cheesy. Your pick.)
Nucking Futs, guys.
Emelina: WHAT NOW LAWN FLAMINGO. WHAT NOW.
Papergirl doesn't approve.
Delphine doesn't notice because she's entered her pregnancy hibernation (aka I boolprop her energy down so I don't have to deal with her annoying bitching).
Delphine: Oh mannn that kid smells. She should really learn to change her diaper.
Pregant snowman making without a coat is reel seriouz biznass guys.
TERMINATE.
Dipshit.
Delphine can always be counted on for really dramatic pops.
Jon: If I stand reeeeeally still, maybe she'll forget it's mine...
Delphine: Halp there's father daughter bonding within a two foot raidus of me!
One for the family album, yes?
The Sims 2 game has a cure for vampirism, but not one for stupidity? D:<
Delphine: I can't pick up my daughter, there are WITNESSES.
Elliot grows up without the cake ordeal.
Why does that hair always cause me to think of cupcakes? :o
Kidney surgery? Something much to inappropriate to even think of? No idea. I'll let you figure this one out.
Delphine gets a soccer mom haircut. Hey, if you can't be a good mom, you might as well look like one.
What could possibly bring Elliot so much joy?
Finding out Jon throws like a girl on Pamprin.
...
A boy this time. Hiro Opri. Same coloring as his sister.
Fresh instant meal? Heck no! Real men eat burnt rotten Pop Tarts. Damn right your dad ate it!
JON MAKES CHILDREN VOMIT.
This action = my brand of heroine
Elliot: lol idiot.
Delphine made the mistake of leaving Hiro by her bed. Guess what? He cried. Guess who decided to solve the issue by gawking like a moron?
Delphine did.
Delphine & Jon: Heeeeey, tired over here! SLEEP PLEASE?
Jon: Oh crap I lost the oven again!
Hiro: Bwahaha, NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Delphine: HOMEWORK HELP? LOL U CRAZY!!
Elliot: *un-BFFs*
Elliot: I swear by my ginger hair that you will burn in the firey depths of Mordor. *seething*
A bit unconventional, but I can dig it.
Hiro grows up into a little fire haired lovely. :DDD
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I'll leave you here. I would have made this longer, but it's been 3 weeks already and I thought everyone would have forgotten about the Opris. D: