Thinking

[similiesslip]

Now, to preface this, let me say that I am "in a traditional family structure."  So I am not saying it is wrong to be so.

I was reading this article though:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/message-to-girls-about-re_b_1518849.html#s327357&title=Rev_Dr_Sharon

Which made me think more about WHY so many conservative people seem to be against

Comments

[soprano1790]

I'm sorry for the novel...

I couldn't even read the whole article. Her continued use of "they" and the strong language was just unrealistic. I do think that there is gender inequality in a lot of ways, but I've never felt that men were "afraid" or "wanted" to make me inpherior. I felt like this lady was way out of line, and her language was so militent.

I believe personally that the bible does call women to be gentle and kind and giving. This does not mean that we "behave" because do people(men and women) ever behave? Women aren't any better in that way than men are. I also think that since not all women are called to be mothers and wives that the image of the stay-at-home mom isn't always biblicle either. I don't know how much "the gift of singleness" is preached on, but it's one of my favorite things, and it includes women and men. That same chapter I believe talks about marriage and is very equal in terms of men and women belonging to each other in marriage. Marriage is oneness(with each other). There is still disagreement about what that means for the submission of the wife. I have a friend who is a pastor, and she told me that the part about submitting to your husbands relates primarily to the culture in question because the women in that culture were overbaring and out of control. Obviously in this culture, the women are different.

Women and men are different because women can be mothers. This(at least to me) is very important, but it does not mean that we should receive less than men in the way of rights. Not really sure where I'm going with this, and to be honest, I have no idea how I would raise my daughters if I had them. A single parent situation can be done successfully, but I think people forget that a child should have two parents. I think the media and books glorify the single-parent life style a little bit too much. I know I wouldn't want to be a single parent. That being said, I think the church should help those people, and I've honestly never seen(in my lifetime at least) anything else.

Things are changing every day. I think women make more ground in how they are received by men, and I think that's good, but we need to remember not to hate men. We can't really achieve anything if we hate them and think of them as our opressers or whatever. We need to work with them to understand our views and ideas. This part was directed towards the author of the article, not you. I just had to clarify.

[similiesslip]

I think the article was primarily address militant Muslims (not all Muslims) rather than those who consider themselves Christians or Baptists, etc.

There truly are women in this world who are killed for not being a virgin, etc. There is also the sad reality that in certain wars in other countries, rape is used as a weapon of war.

I do not consider men to be the enemy but, as I have lived...life IS very orientated to them having opportunities. Women can and do work very hard yet ...even when working "harder", we often cannot advance as quickly as they can. Most women I know, whether they "work outside the home" or not, work constantly. Most men (not all) that I know, if they have kids, they work..and come home and relax. They don't put in much kid/house time. That leaves it for the women.

Now, if that sits well with the couple, that is fine. However, this also means, the one who has to leave work on time to pick the kids is not likely to be the one getting a promotion and moving up.

I guess overall I wish our laws and workplaces were more understanding towards women. Good, affordable childcare is hard to find which means single women really have it hard. Who stays home when a child is too sick for daycare but the mom is single, whether widowed or divorced? Moms lose their jobs over this. And every time you lose a job, it takes longer to find another and to build up the seniority to get promoted etc.

A little over half of the USA is female. (I will continue this in a new comment)

[similiesslip]

Women hold 90, or 16.8%, of the 535 seats in the 112th US Congress - 17, or 17.0%, of the 100 seats in the Senate and 73, or 16.8%, of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives.

So we are "under represented." Naturally, this does affect which kind of laws are presented and passed.

So many people look down on "welfare moms." Get a job! they say. But who can you leave the baby with? Daycare, even cheap (not very good care) daycare is expensive. Minimum wage is very low.

And it's not just single moms. How about moms with a husband unable to work?

I do not think everyone considers womens issues...which honestly, are women and children issues for the most part. What happens to a mom has an effect on children.

Ideally, every woman who wants to would marry good men who never leave and are faithful and good dads and treat the wife as an equal partner. That doesn't always happen. I think everyone should consider what happens to the people who have the lives that are not ideal and are trying to still make a life for their kids.

[soprano1790]

I agree with you about the childcare thing. That isn't how I would want to be in a couple either. I think both parents need to do the work, and I don't think that the woman should have problems at work for having to take of kids. Things have gone a long way in 50 years though, so we just need to keep working at it.

What happens to those women in other countries is unbelievable. It does make me grateful for how we are treated here. In this country, if we don't like the way we are being treated, we can stand up and say it. At least we have that.

[similiesslip]

Sometimes we have that and sometimes we don't. There are women in certain religions who want to leave but have to choose whether they can risk it. I've read about ladies in religious plural marriages who were abused and really kept apart so leaving was very, very hard.

So much depends on one's husband/partner. There are men who don't want you to speak up and will make sure you regret doing so.

[similiesslip]

I appreciate you sharing so many of your thoughts and perspectives.

I think men should be gentle, kind and giving too. I don't think those attribute are strictly feminine. I think sometimes by deciding "men should be this" "women should be that" we make men who try NOT to be kind and gentle and giving because they feel that is being girly. Then what does a woman do who has committed herself to a man who starts being unkind and rough and stingy a great deal of the time?

I do respect your view point a lot. I would have written a similar answer just a few years ago.

I guess I am discouraged. I've tried so many different ways of being a submissive wife and it doesn't seem to "work" for every family.

[soprano1790]

I think those adjectives are related to motherhood. It's really such a confusing issue, but I don't really see that as a bad thing. Men should be gentle and kind too, but they are not mothers. Men and women are different for a reason. They complement each other. I don't think this means that women shouldn't be opinionated or out spoken, or men shouldn't be gentle and giving. But we do complement each other, and I don't think that should be discouraged.

I don't feel like marriage is for me, especially now. I think that the pressure on women to get married and have children is unfair. Sometimes we are called to do different things. I think that's kind of the way it is with all people. My sister is definitely the "bread winner" in their family, and if anyone would stay at home with their kid, it would be my brother-in-law. Some would call this role reversal, but I think it's cool. We just do what we have to. No one wants my sister stuck at home. Lol

That was a rant... From what I can see, you seem like a great mom, and your kids sound really cool.