Thinking
Now, to preface this, let me say that I am "in a traditional family structure." So I am not saying it is wrong to be so.
I was reading this article though:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/message-to-girls-about-re_b_1518849.html#s327357&title=Rev_Dr_Sharon
Which made me think more about WHY so many conservative people seem to be against any kind of family structure which is untraditional.
The article made me think (and maybe there is an element of truth in this) that...when a family is headed by a single mom or a family has two lesbian partners or even when a family is headed by two gay men...one of the things that is disrupted is the traditional idea of male power over women. You would think, well, a gay male couple, that's male power but actually, there is no element of them being over a female.
So while many who try "Traditional family is best" say it is to protect females because they love them etc, I wonder now if some of it is, "We want to protect them AND KEEP THEM IN THEIR PLACE."
Single mom and lesbian households might be threatening to men as they convey, "We can succeed without a male in charge." If that is true, some men may feel marginalized.
Another thing that has me thinking about this was a picture I saw on Facebook. It said something like, "What the sons of single mothers look like:" and in the photo were two men: Former President Bill Clinton and President Obama.
Yeah. So single moms do a bad job right? Twice their kids grew up to be PRESIDENT!
I don't know. I know there are exceptions to every rule. I know my brother got mad at me once because I was arguing with my husband and he overheard. "You cannot disrespect a man like that," my brother said, never considering that we might be allowed to disagree and taking the man's side over his sister.
I was taught that wives must submit and have heard so many lessons and classes and sermons on the importance of respecting men, being a gentle and quiet woman, disagreeing but not voicing it as that is disrespect, etc.
What are men who teach this so afraid of?
I've also been told many times that women are too hormonal to be leaders, that women can't lead as they are too close to their emotions to think clearly, that it will make my husband feel less of a man if/when I get a job, etc.
I don't understand why, in certain religious circles, where they give lip service to the idea that racial prejudice is wrong that they still often paint women as less and in need of leaders.
I admired certain women as a child, two of my aunts in particular but my parents often told me that "those aunts are following the wrong path" That they were "too outspoken." That they were "rebeling against God's ideas for women."
Those aunts were a pastor and a college professor. My parents often said, "I just have to wonder how much that harms their marriages" but those couples seemed much happier than my parents do/did.
As a mom of two daughters (and a son) I've been thinking a lot about how I want to raise my children to think about women. The article I linked above also brings out that our culture criticizes women's appearance a lot (very true, I've been noticing that) and that it is a way to bring women down, to take away their confidence.
I had not thought of it that way. But yes, if you are making women worry incessantly about how fat they are, you can sway their focus from career goals etc.
I do believe there are good men. I do think a lot of this is unconscious. However, that doesn't make it right. I do NOT want my kids to accept the view of women as less or that we must forever build up the ego of men (which I was taught over and over.)
Both genders are people who can work hard and serve together.
Maybe part of it is that I live in the South. I have been criticized for silly things like, I don't "fix my husband a plate" at family gatherings. Apparently, it is traditional for a woman to dish up the food for herself AND her man so he doesn't have to get up and get his own food like everyone else.
I'm sorry. I don't presume to know what he wants and I think he should make his own choices. Yes, it is hard for him to get up and go get the food himself and then find his seat again. But my husband is not king. I love him but I trust him to be an adult.
Why are we supposed to be this way, as women?
I know this wanders and I am sorry for the tangled nature of this entry. I do want to understand more about what I have been taught and why people teach it though.
I was reading this article though:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/message-to-girls-about-re_b_1518849.html#s327357&title=Rev_Dr_Sharon
Which made me think more about WHY so many conservative people seem to be against any kind of family structure which is untraditional.
The article made me think (and maybe there is an element of truth in this) that...when a family is headed by a single mom or a family has two lesbian partners or even when a family is headed by two gay men...one of the things that is disrupted is the traditional idea of male power over women. You would think, well, a gay male couple, that's male power but actually, there is no element of them being over a female.
So while many who try "Traditional family is best" say it is to protect females because they love them etc, I wonder now if some of it is, "We want to protect them AND KEEP THEM IN THEIR PLACE."
Single mom and lesbian households might be threatening to men as they convey, "We can succeed without a male in charge." If that is true, some men may feel marginalized.
Another thing that has me thinking about this was a picture I saw on Facebook. It said something like, "What the sons of single mothers look like:" and in the photo were two men: Former President Bill Clinton and President Obama.
Yeah. So single moms do a bad job right? Twice their kids grew up to be PRESIDENT!
I don't know. I know there are exceptions to every rule. I know my brother got mad at me once because I was arguing with my husband and he overheard. "You cannot disrespect a man like that," my brother said, never considering that we might be allowed to disagree and taking the man's side over his sister.
I was taught that wives must submit and have heard so many lessons and classes and sermons on the importance of respecting men, being a gentle and quiet woman, disagreeing but not voicing it as that is disrespect, etc.
What are men who teach this so afraid of?
I've also been told many times that women are too hormonal to be leaders, that women can't lead as they are too close to their emotions to think clearly, that it will make my husband feel less of a man if/when I get a job, etc.
I don't understand why, in certain religious circles, where they give lip service to the idea that racial prejudice is wrong that they still often paint women as less and in need of leaders.
I admired certain women as a child, two of my aunts in particular but my parents often told me that "those aunts are following the wrong path" That they were "too outspoken." That they were "rebeling against God's ideas for women."
Those aunts were a pastor and a college professor. My parents often said, "I just have to wonder how much that harms their marriages" but those couples seemed much happier than my parents do/did.
As a mom of two daughters (and a son) I've been thinking a lot about how I want to raise my children to think about women. The article I linked above also brings out that our culture criticizes women's appearance a lot (very true, I've been noticing that) and that it is a way to bring women down, to take away their confidence.
I had not thought of it that way. But yes, if you are making women worry incessantly about how fat they are, you can sway their focus from career goals etc.
I do believe there are good men. I do think a lot of this is unconscious. However, that doesn't make it right. I do NOT want my kids to accept the view of women as less or that we must forever build up the ego of men (which I was taught over and over.)
Both genders are people who can work hard and serve together.
Maybe part of it is that I live in the South. I have been criticized for silly things like, I don't "fix my husband a plate" at family gatherings. Apparently, it is traditional for a woman to dish up the food for herself AND her man so he doesn't have to get up and get his own food like everyone else.
I'm sorry. I don't presume to know what he wants and I think he should make his own choices. Yes, it is hard for him to get up and go get the food himself and then find his seat again. But my husband is not king. I love him but I trust him to be an adult.
Why are we supposed to be this way, as women?
I know this wanders and I am sorry for the tangled nature of this entry. I do want to understand more about what I have been taught and why people teach it though.