Titled: "Get Well Cards Matter"
Three little words became three not-so-little children.
Many might consider my husband and me a non-traditional couple. He will be 56 this coming March while I won't turn 34 until May. Some feel our age gap makes us unusual and some used to call it "creepy" but no matter their opinion, most people like to ask, "How did you ever meet each other?"
Well, way back before there was match.com, e-Harmony or even (love it or hate it) Facebook, there was a very slow program that would announce to me each evening, "You've got mail!"
One day it was a very odd piece of mail. The email contained only three words: "Feel better soon." At first I checked to see who it was from. Some old guy it looked like. I've never been the best at math so, adding very quickly, I got it wrong. I decided the guy must be around 50.
It had been an odd year for me. I had severe health problems with my tendons. As my last entry mentioned, I am in college now. Part of why I didn't finish much earlier was my health problems. So, back in 1996, I was enjoying this new thing called America Online. Everything seemed new and exciting. I needed something to distract me from my painful physical therapy sessions and AOL was my multi-sensory distraction.
Going through the painful and disappointing transition back home, I was just needy enough to respond to a "Get well" email, even from someone I didn't know.
I waited a couple days but I finally decided to write back. I was going to just email but when I started my email, AOL alerted me "User is online" when I typed in this screen name.
Nothing to lose.
Why not just IM this guy? He was in his 50s (I thought.) Surely, at his age, he wouldn't be all flirty and weird. I was 18. I'd already lost two things I longed for most (my health and college.) Surely his three kind words deserved a few minutes of my time.
"Thanks for the email." My first Instant Message was 4 words. I didn't know what he would say back...or if it would be anything.
Something clicked that night. I guess I was looking for something exciting to give me hope or, honestly, just to distract me. Whatever happened, we chatted through IM for over an hour.
We were friends, just friends for the longest. And why had he emailed me such a note? My husband, R, was 40 and single on that night in 1996. He'd decided this year he was going to meet the perfect girl. R. was (and still is) rather shy. So he'd come up with a plan using AOL. AOL had a feature where you could search profiles using terms such as location and the word "single." He'd come up with the idea of searching using those terms and the number of the day's date. When he got a hit that looked likely, he would send them a simple "Happy Birthday" email. He thought it would be a great way to meet women.
Why me, that January night? As I mentioned, my birthday is in May. Well, AOL had a line called, "Favorite quote," and my favorite quote included the numbers 1 21. A coincidence, a chance of fate. He didn't search for birthday girls every night. But that night he happened to be searching for birthday girls and I happened to have posted the terms he thought he was looking for. He wouldn't have emailed me except that my posted occupation was "College Student but home due to illness."
Even then, even after generic AOL voice said, "Good-bye" that night, I had no idea what his three little word email had started. I had chatted with faceless strangers before and would again. Often, you never spoke with the same ones after the first time.
I had no idea that night that I would marry R. that December.
(Above photo pictures my husband and I on our wedding day, December 5th, 1997. His hair was still black back then (it's grey now.) He has on glasses and you can see he is wearing a dark suit coat with a pink rose as his boutonniere. The photo is a close-up of our faces. He's on the left and I have my arm around him, with my hand resting on his shoulder. My long hair is spilling out under my veil trimmed with white roses. You can see a glimpse of my white wedding gown.)
I had no inkling online that night that we would meet on his birthday in March or that our first words to each other would be spoken on board an airplane.
Our connection owes much to chance and happenstance. Now, after nearly 14 years of marriage, would you be surprised to know he is a man of few words? But few or not, sometimes what he says really counts. Short can say a lot when the timing is right.
Three little words, three big kids, 13 years later.
(Above photo is of our three children. In front is my 7 1/2 year old daughter. She has blond hair. She's seated at a picnic table resting her hand over her forehead. Sitting next to her is my laughing 10 1/2 year old son. He's wearing an orange jack-a-lantern shirt that matches the shirt of my 4 1/2 year old daughter who is running up in the background. She has her mouth open to deliver the news that she found a big slide for them to try. This photo was taken outside and there is a wooden pavilion in the background.)
R. still says, "You're the best thing I ever downloaded from the internet."
The funny thing is, you never know when just a few words will change the life of another or the life of yourself. Words are powerful, strong, and compelling, if you use the right ones at the right time.
Remember that and also remember, never underestimate the power of the internet. What happens "just online" can become reality sooner than you think. The people on the other side of your screen are real, with hopes, longings and dreams that might coincide with yours. Think carefully what you type tonight.
Three little words were all it took to change our lives.
Many might consider my husband and me a non-traditional couple. He will be 56 this coming March while I won't turn 34 until May. Some feel our age gap makes us unusual and some used to call it "creepy" but no matter their opinion, most people like to ask, "How did you ever meet each other?"
Well, way back before there was match.com, e-Harmony or even (love it or hate it) Facebook, there was a very slow program that would announce to me each evening, "You've got mail!"
One day it was a very odd piece of mail. The email contained only three words: "Feel better soon." At first I checked to see who it was from. Some old guy it looked like. I've never been the best at math so, adding very quickly, I got it wrong. I decided the guy must be around 50.
It had been an odd year for me. I had severe health problems with my tendons. As my last entry mentioned, I am in college now. Part of why I didn't finish much earlier was my health problems. So, back in 1996, I was enjoying this new thing called America Online. Everything seemed new and exciting. I needed something to distract me from my painful physical therapy sessions and AOL was my multi-sensory distraction.
Going through the painful and disappointing transition back home, I was just needy enough to respond to a "Get well" email, even from someone I didn't know.
I waited a couple days but I finally decided to write back. I was going to just email but when I started my email, AOL alerted me "User is online" when I typed in this screen name.
Nothing to lose.
Why not just IM this guy? He was in his 50s (I thought.) Surely, at his age, he wouldn't be all flirty and weird. I was 18. I'd already lost two things I longed for most (my health and college.) Surely his three kind words deserved a few minutes of my time.
"Thanks for the email." My first Instant Message was 4 words. I didn't know what he would say back...or if it would be anything.
Something clicked that night. I guess I was looking for something exciting to give me hope or, honestly, just to distract me. Whatever happened, we chatted through IM for over an hour.
We were friends, just friends for the longest. And why had he emailed me such a note? My husband, R, was 40 and single on that night in 1996. He'd decided this year he was going to meet the perfect girl. R. was (and still is) rather shy. So he'd come up with a plan using AOL. AOL had a feature where you could search profiles using terms such as location and the word "single." He'd come up with the idea of searching using those terms and the number of the day's date. When he got a hit that looked likely, he would send them a simple "Happy Birthday" email. He thought it would be a great way to meet women.
Why me, that January night? As I mentioned, my birthday is in May. Well, AOL had a line called, "Favorite quote," and my favorite quote included the numbers 1 21. A coincidence, a chance of fate. He didn't search for birthday girls every night. But that night he happened to be searching for birthday girls and I happened to have posted the terms he thought he was looking for. He wouldn't have emailed me except that my posted occupation was "College Student but home due to illness."
Even then, even after generic AOL voice said, "Good-bye" that night, I had no idea what his three little word email had started. I had chatted with faceless strangers before and would again. Often, you never spoke with the same ones after the first time.
I had no idea that night that I would marry R. that December.
(Above photo pictures my husband and I on our wedding day, December 5th, 1997. His hair was still black back then (it's grey now.) He has on glasses and you can see he is wearing a dark suit coat with a pink rose as his boutonniere. The photo is a close-up of our faces. He's on the left and I have my arm around him, with my hand resting on his shoulder. My long hair is spilling out under my veil trimmed with white roses. You can see a glimpse of my white wedding gown.)
I had no inkling online that night that we would meet on his birthday in March or that our first words to each other would be spoken on board an airplane.
Our connection owes much to chance and happenstance. Now, after nearly 14 years of marriage, would you be surprised to know he is a man of few words? But few or not, sometimes what he says really counts. Short can say a lot when the timing is right.
Three little words, three big kids, 13 years later.
(Above photo is of our three children. In front is my 7 1/2 year old daughter. She has blond hair. She's seated at a picnic table resting her hand over her forehead. Sitting next to her is my laughing 10 1/2 year old son. He's wearing an orange jack-a-lantern shirt that matches the shirt of my 4 1/2 year old daughter who is running up in the background. She has her mouth open to deliver the news that she found a big slide for them to try. This photo was taken outside and there is a wooden pavilion in the background.)
R. still says, "You're the best thing I ever downloaded from the internet."
The funny thing is, you never know when just a few words will change the life of another or the life of yourself. Words are powerful, strong, and compelling, if you use the right ones at the right time.
Remember that and also remember, never underestimate the power of the internet. What happens "just online" can become reality sooner than you think. The people on the other side of your screen are real, with hopes, longings and dreams that might coincide with yours. Think carefully what you type tonight.
Three little words were all it took to change our lives.