(no subject)
Have finally got internet up at home again. New laptop still at repairers, old laptop on its last feet but hanging in there ..... just.
Have loved having Ms Fi down with me. I forgot how nice it is to have someone to chat to at the end of the day. I do so much talking and counseling at work that I often am brain dead or talked out by days end. I come home, crash and sit still. But Fi is so engaging its hard not to talk - lol.
Today I caught up with a friend who is going through hell at the moment with her 22yr old boys (twins). We walked along our beach track for an hour or so, the sun at full strength, a slight ocean breeze on our faces as well as hundreds of lovely smiling faces around us. Everyone was happy with bright shiny faces, happy, panting puppies galloping along side their owners and little kids on small tricycles ringing their bells as they pass you. Wollongong is such a seaside town. On days like today, the whole world seems to shine.
My friend loves her boys to pieces as mothers do but the hedonism of their age and generation is breaking her heart. "This isn't how I raised them Simi," she laments. I feel for her dreadfully. She's an incredibly courageous woman who has given them everything she can as a single mum with a mortgage.
I told her how I felt guilty for ages for buying my new camera. That spending $500 on myself was eating me up. That I'd sat down and dissected what I'd actually spent on myself over the last 3 months and all I could come up with was 3 new CD's at $20 and a few pieces of jewelry from Pam at work. So if I factor $500 over 3 month I've actually spent $42 a week on myself. It's not much really. But the ugly thing is .... I did that math. I had to justify it when I shouldn't.
We've both been through a harrowing year of disappointments and great healing. We both work our arses off for little reward, even if that is of our own making. And it makes you question things.
2010 is our year. Where we do things for ourselves and not only work to pay for our houses. Where we don't feel guilty for buying something small for ourselves.
It's time to reclaim our lives again.
Stop merely exiting, start living.
We're both ready for it and need it.
And so... be it.
Have loved having Ms Fi down with me. I forgot how nice it is to have someone to chat to at the end of the day. I do so much talking and counseling at work that I often am brain dead or talked out by days end. I come home, crash and sit still. But Fi is so engaging its hard not to talk - lol.
Today I caught up with a friend who is going through hell at the moment with her 22yr old boys (twins). We walked along our beach track for an hour or so, the sun at full strength, a slight ocean breeze on our faces as well as hundreds of lovely smiling faces around us. Everyone was happy with bright shiny faces, happy, panting puppies galloping along side their owners and little kids on small tricycles ringing their bells as they pass you. Wollongong is such a seaside town. On days like today, the whole world seems to shine.
My friend loves her boys to pieces as mothers do but the hedonism of their age and generation is breaking her heart. "This isn't how I raised them Simi," she laments. I feel for her dreadfully. She's an incredibly courageous woman who has given them everything she can as a single mum with a mortgage.
I told her how I felt guilty for ages for buying my new camera. That spending $500 on myself was eating me up. That I'd sat down and dissected what I'd actually spent on myself over the last 3 months and all I could come up with was 3 new CD's at $20 and a few pieces of jewelry from Pam at work. So if I factor $500 over 3 month I've actually spent $42 a week on myself. It's not much really. But the ugly thing is .... I did that math. I had to justify it when I shouldn't.
We've both been through a harrowing year of disappointments and great healing. We both work our arses off for little reward, even if that is of our own making. And it makes you question things.
2010 is our year. Where we do things for ourselves and not only work to pay for our houses. Where we don't feel guilty for buying something small for ourselves.
It's time to reclaim our lives again.
Stop merely exiting, start living.
We're both ready for it and need it.
And so... be it.