Worthless
TITLE : Worthless (Sequel to Rebound)
length : One-Shot (2,336words)
pairing : Sichul (Siwon & Heechul)
genre : romance, drama,
rating : NC-17
summary: Heechul thinks he's worthless for not noticing Siwon's pain
inspired by Worthless, was supposed to be a one shot but I decided to make it a sequel instead.
And My! this took 3 months! I'm so sorry! Actually it's because I'm not really satisfied with Heechul's pov, I badly want to improve it. But then again, it's already 3 months and I haven't really changed anything so I decided to post it already and keke add some smut haha. SO IM REALLY SPRRY FOR HEECHUL'S SUCKY POV
AND AGAIN, NO BETA.. i know yumenata have told me to find a beta... I tried to reread it? IM REALLY DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE GRAMMAR TT *cries*
Is it really over? Is this really goodbye?
And yet here I am, standing still, watching him take his steps away from me.
Everything seems to be in slow motion.
My body can’t feel anything as if it’s numb.
One part of me screams millions of words that wants to be heard.
My heart screams for me to move and stop him, but I can’t, I just can’t.
I just realize now how much pain I have already caused him.
I was too caught up with my own sorrows that I haven’t taught of his.
I was too comfortable of having him by my side that I haven’t taught of this moment to come.
I guess it’s true what they say that you’ll only know the value of one person once they’re gone.
So here I am still standing here, staring at the person that once was mine. That was once, I taught will forever be by my side.
Oh how much my heart pleads to burst into tears and know that he will be there to hug me while kissing and caressing my face until I fall into a deep sleep in his arms where I find warmth and comfort.
He really knows too well how to calm my heart.
I smiled at the memory thinking, who would calm me now? Who would be there to comfort me?
I feel my heart like a bottle about to burst anytime soon.
I can’t help it that I can’t even look at his retrieving steps anymore.
I tried to look at the sky. It’s as if it mirrors what I feel, all dark and gloomy wanting so much to burst its rain, but still it doesn’t. I guess it knows that once it burst its tears, people would be soaking wet and it’ll just give them a bad day.
Just like how I try to bottle all of this emotions but deep inside, I badly want to cry so much, I want to tell him what I feel but I can’t, I don’t want to hurt him more. I’ve hurt him so much, he deserves someone much better.
So how matter how much I want to run in his arms right now, I can’t.
No matter how much I want to tell him to stay, I can’t.
No matter how much I want to tell him I love him….. heck! I haven’t even realized that I already love him.
Shit! I’m in love with him! Why do I have to realize it just now?
All my frustrations even increased when I felt a drop fall in my face. I faced the sky then I realize that it’s starting to rain.
Yah Wait! Stop it! I thought we’re in this fight together?! Don’t give up now!
I looked like an idiot, mentally screaming at the rain. I was furious that I feel myself about to crumble and break down anytime soon.
But then I suddenly feel something warm on my face, blocking the rain from falling into me.
I opened my eyes and realize that a piece of cloth was placed on my head. I was about to stubbornly pull it off but then I heard a familiar voice.
“Hyung it’s raining, you better go back to the dorm, you might get sick.” He muttered in an almost whisper, voice cracked, failing to hides his sobs. But it was enough for me to hear and feel his concern making my just then pained heart smile.
Then I heard him take his retrieving steps again so I slowly tilted my head to look at him.
I realized that he put his shirt in my head so he’s only wearing a thin wife-beater, that’s now soaking wet.
“Hey! Are you crazy?!”
He immediately stopped and stay stilled in his place, letting the rain pour on his body.
I mentally curse myself as my legs involuntary ran towards him and put his shirt back to cover him.
“Hyung, you might get sick, put this on you. I’m fine.”
“What do you mean you’re fine?! Just look at you! We both know that despite of that bulk body of yours, you get sick so easily, so don’t be such a stubborn horse and put this on you.”
“But I rather get sick than you.” I was silenced by his words as the tears starts to stubbornly make its escape from my eyes.
“Hyung, why are you crying? Do you feel bad anywhere? I better take you home.” He wrapped the cloth in my head again but I pulled it off and throw it, it’s not as if it’s still in any help anyways.
“You’re really crazy! Why do you even know I’m crying?! It’s raining for God’s sake! - And! Don’t you dare lecture me from cursing!”
-end of POV-
Siwon just laughed and tried to brush away the tears that are mixed with the rain on Heechul’s face.
“I just know.” He murmured, matched with his best smile, making Heechul’s heart melt.
So it maked him sobbed even more and started hitting Siwon “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
The younger just accepted all of it as he slowly enraptures his hyung in his arms, which the latter gave into. Surrendering to the comfort the younger exudes.
The two stayed there for a moment, enjoying the sweet wonderful feeling there heart feels in the arms of one another. It’s as if they’re in a paradise and the drops of rain are the showers of love enrapturing them.
“Hyung, I better get you home.”
Heechul didn’t nudge at his place, but instead, hugged the younger tighter.
“Are you really leaving me?”
Siwon was taken aback by his hyung’s question.
“Isn’t that what you want?”
Heechul didn’t answer so he hesitantly continued.
“I.. I know that you don’t love me.”
Heechul broke the hug and looked at Siwon with angry eyes.
“And who the heck told you that?!”
“I- but you.. Hangeng” Siwon stuttered not really knowing what to say.
“You know what? I’m disappointed.”
Heechul looked away from Siwon, crossing his arms and playing an annoyed expression.
“I taught of all people you should be the one that noticed that I already love you, just tell me if I’m wasting time here. Look, my hair is ruined, my skin might get damage from being soaked on too much rain. My eyes..”
Heechul continued speaking not minding Siwon who was now wide-eyed after Heechul’s words registered into him.
“You what?”
“I keep on blabbering here and you’re not even listening to me.”
“Hyung, you know what I’m talking about.” Siwon give his famous smile, making fangirls and fanboys giddy over him, and of course Heechul isn’t an exemption.
“It’s your fault that you didn’t catch that. I’ll only say that once.”
Siwon gently scooped Heechul’s face and turn it into him. “Please”
Heechul stared at Siwon’s pleading eyes making him weak in the knees.
“F- F.. Fine! I love you okay! Now I’m really not repeating that no matter how much you plead me with those beautiful eyes of yours. So you better put that in your head and always remember it. Yah do you even understand me? I’m tired of talking! Shouldn’t you be kissing me now to silenced me and tell me you love me too?! You know what, I take it back. You’re..”
Siwon laughed as he scooped Heechul’s face and kissed him deeply. Heechul smiled as he kissed back, moaning from the intensity as Siwon suck and nips his soft luscious lips. Siwon took that as an opportunity to slid his tongue inside Heechul, exploring his warm cavern. Their tongues dancing in rhythm as they taste and own each other.
Heechul slids his hands into Siwon’s soaking wet top, exploring his hands to the younger’s defined body.
“Hyung, I don’t think we should be doing this here.”
Heechul ignored him and tease him even more as he pinch Siwon’s erect nipples, making the younger moan in Heechul’s mouth.
Siwon knows that once he gives in, there’s no turning back. So he gathers all his will power and with so much resistance, he pulls away from Heechul.
“Where in a public place, people might see us. Let’s just continue this back at the dorm”
The other whines as he tries to bring Siwon’s face back to his. “But I can’t wait anymore.”
He then looked at Siwon’s eyes intently. “I can’t wait anymore to show my love for you, I want to make love to you Siwon.”
Siwon can’t help but smile at his hyung’s words. He just wanted to attack Heechul at that moment, and shower the overflowing love his feeling at the moment. But he resisted and instead he pulled Heechul in a nearby dark alley.
Once they reach the place, Siwon pushed Heechul at the wall and didn’t wait any second to devour Heechul’s lips in a passionate kiss.
The other immediately replied as he holds on to Siwon’s locks and push his face closer, as his mouth lounges deeper into his.
He then tugs into Siwon’s shirt, wanting to feel Siwon’s bare body.
“Are you sure?”
“Just do it!” Heechul whined as he pushes his erection into Siwon’s that’s now hardening like a rock.
The friction makes Siwon lose his mind and submit to the enticing calls of pleasure. So he immediately pulls off his shirt and Heechul’s.
He roamed his lips into Heechul’s milky white skin before crouching downwards and unbuttoning Heechul’s pants and sliding it down with Heechul’s boxers that’s now wet with the rain and pre-cum.
He lustfully eyes the throbbing erect member as he teasingly caresses it.
“Fuck Siwon just take it!”
Being the obedient dongsaeng that he is, he started to lick the top, enjoying the salty taste of Heechul’s pre-cum.
He kissed it first before slowly nipping and sucking it, making Heechul moan his heart out.
Enjoying Heechul’s moans, that’s like music to his ears, he immediately engulf Heechul’s whole into his mouth. Sucking it deeply as he playfully fumbles with Heechul’s balls.
Heechul can’t help it as he thrust his hips into Siwon’s mouth making the younger gag as Heechul’s member reach his throat.
After relaxing from Heechul’s length, he continued sucking it, grazing his teeth as he do so while Heechul continually thrust into his mouth.
Heechul starts to feel that familiar pooling in his stomach as he fastens his pace in Siwon.
He was furious when the younger suddenly released his length. “Siwon!”
“Not yet baby.” Siwon reached for Heechul’s head as he leaves him a short deep kiss.
Then, he unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants and boxers hurriedly, as his member achingly craves for attention.
Heechul lick his lips as he stares at Siwon’s big cock, greedy to have every inch of it inside of him.
He can’t wait anymore so he sits on the floor and spreads his legs wide apart. “Take me. Now. Please make me yours. I want to be yours.”
Siwon’s member twitches at the erotic sight, making him want to fuck the daylights off of the man in front of him.
He immediately crouches down as he brings Heechul’s legs at the side of his waist.
He’s about to slid in a finger in Heechul’s tight hole but was stopped as Heechul grips into his hands.
“I want to feel you raw inside me.”
Siwon’s member twitch more at the lovely invitation so he waste no time and slids his member inside Heechul.
“Fuck!” Heechul cried in pain as he feels his ass being ripped apart.
Siwon brought his hands into Heechul’s face and gently caress it. When the older starts to calm down, he gave him a chaste kiss before sliding the rest of his member inside Heechul's tight passage.
Heechul screamed in pain as he holds on into Siwon’s skin, leaving scratches at the younger’s back.
When Heechul was already accustomed to the sudden tightness, he started to buck his hips forward, nudging Siwon to start moving
Siwon complied to his hyung and slids out his member then immediately slids it back in deeper.
He repeated the process while Heechul started screaming in ecstasy. “Agh.. Siwon. Faster!”
Siwon thrust faster, matching Heechul’s moans as he feels his balls slapping into Heechul’s tight ass making his heart flow with immense pleasure.
He brought Heechul’s legs into his shoulder, as he thrust deeper into Heechul’s ass.
“Oh Shit! Siwon there! Ahh….” Siwon grinned as he knows he found Heechul’s sweet spot. He repeatedly hit the spot, making Heechul lose his mind. “Ah Siwon! More!”
Skin slapping and lustful moans filled the once silent alley. The taught of someone seeing them, even adds to the already heightened pleasure they feel.
After one more deep thrust Heechul came, spilling his cum all over Siwon’s stomach.
Heechul smirked and lazily licks Siwon clean from his sticky liquid.
Siwon moaned at the feelings of Heechul’s tongue in his skin, making him shoot all of his cum inside Heechul.
Both of them pants as they enraptured in each other’s sweaty bodies in a hug.
Heechul rest his head into Siwon’s broad chest then looked into the younger’s eyes. “I love you.”
“I thought you’re not going to repeat that again?” Siwon teasingly chuckled.
“If you don’t want to hear it then I..” Heechul was silenced as Siwon captured his lips.
“I love you Kim Heechul, I love you so much even that doesn’t rightfully explain the overflowing love I feel for you.”
“You’re so cheesy.” Heechul rolled his eyes but gives a soft sincere smile to the younger man.
“I’ll be anything for you. Thanks for loving me.”
“No, thank YOU for loving me this much.” Heechul replied, leaving kisses to the taller male.
“I love you.”
They then divulge in a now, Siwon’s assured, on a slow make-love session. Enjoying and accepting every bit of love the older man is giving him and gladly returning it with all of his.
length : One-Shot (2,336words)
pairing : Sichul (Siwon & Heechul)
genre : romance, drama,
rating : NC-17
summary: Heechul thinks he's worthless for not noticing Siwon's pain
inspired by Worthless, was supposed to be a one shot but I decided to make it a sequel instead.
And My! this took 3 months! I'm so sorry! Actually it's because I'm not really satisfied with Heechul's pov, I badly want to improve it. But then again, it's already 3 months and I haven't really changed anything so I decided to post it already and keke add some smut haha. SO IM REALLY SPRRY FOR HEECHUL'S SUCKY POV
AND AGAIN, NO BETA.. i know yumenata have told me to find a beta... I tried to reread it? IM REALLY DEEPLY SORRY FOR THE GRAMMAR TT *cries*
Is it really over? Is this really goodbye?
And yet here I am, standing still, watching him take his steps away from me.
Everything seems to be in slow motion.
My body can’t feel anything as if it’s numb.
One part of me screams millions of words that wants to be heard.
My heart screams for me to move and stop him, but I can’t, I just can’t.
I just realize now how much pain I have already caused him.
I was too caught up with my own sorrows that I haven’t taught of his.
I was too comfortable of having him by my side that I haven’t taught of this moment to come.
I guess it’s true what they say that you’ll only know the value of one person once they’re gone.
So here I am still standing here, staring at the person that once was mine. That was once, I taught will forever be by my side.
Oh how much my heart pleads to burst into tears and know that he will be there to hug me while kissing and caressing my face until I fall into a deep sleep in his arms where I find warmth and comfort.
He really knows too well how to calm my heart.
I smiled at the memory thinking, who would calm me now? Who would be there to comfort me?
I feel my heart like a bottle about to burst anytime soon.
I can’t help it that I can’t even look at his retrieving steps anymore.
I tried to look at the sky. It’s as if it mirrors what I feel, all dark and gloomy wanting so much to burst its rain, but still it doesn’t. I guess it knows that once it burst its tears, people would be soaking wet and it’ll just give them a bad day.
Just like how I try to bottle all of this emotions but deep inside, I badly want to cry so much, I want to tell him what I feel but I can’t, I don’t want to hurt him more. I’ve hurt him so much, he deserves someone much better.
So how matter how much I want to run in his arms right now, I can’t.
No matter how much I want to tell him to stay, I can’t.
No matter how much I want to tell him I love him….. heck! I haven’t even realized that I already love him.
Shit! I’m in love with him! Why do I have to realize it just now?
All my frustrations even increased when I felt a drop fall in my face. I faced the sky then I realize that it’s starting to rain.
Yah Wait! Stop it! I thought we’re in this fight together?! Don’t give up now!
I looked like an idiot, mentally screaming at the rain. I was furious that I feel myself about to crumble and break down anytime soon.
But then I suddenly feel something warm on my face, blocking the rain from falling into me.
I opened my eyes and realize that a piece of cloth was placed on my head. I was about to stubbornly pull it off but then I heard a familiar voice.
“Hyung it’s raining, you better go back to the dorm, you might get sick.” He muttered in an almost whisper, voice cracked, failing to hides his sobs. But it was enough for me to hear and feel his concern making my just then pained heart smile.
Then I heard him take his retrieving steps again so I slowly tilted my head to look at him.
I realized that he put his shirt in my head so he’s only wearing a thin wife-beater, that’s now soaking wet.
“Hey! Are you crazy?!”
He immediately stopped and stay stilled in his place, letting the rain pour on his body.
I mentally curse myself as my legs involuntary ran towards him and put his shirt back to cover him.
“Hyung, you might get sick, put this on you. I’m fine.”
“What do you mean you’re fine?! Just look at you! We both know that despite of that bulk body of yours, you get sick so easily, so don’t be such a stubborn horse and put this on you.”
“But I rather get sick than you.” I was silenced by his words as the tears starts to stubbornly make its escape from my eyes.
“Hyung, why are you crying? Do you feel bad anywhere? I better take you home.” He wrapped the cloth in my head again but I pulled it off and throw it, it’s not as if it’s still in any help anyways.
“You’re really crazy! Why do you even know I’m crying?! It’s raining for God’s sake! - And! Don’t you dare lecture me from cursing!”
-end of POV-
Siwon just laughed and tried to brush away the tears that are mixed with the rain on Heechul’s face.
“I just know.” He murmured, matched with his best smile, making Heechul’s heart melt.
So it maked him sobbed even more and started hitting Siwon “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
The younger just accepted all of it as he slowly enraptures his hyung in his arms, which the latter gave into. Surrendering to the comfort the younger exudes.
The two stayed there for a moment, enjoying the sweet wonderful feeling there heart feels in the arms of one another. It’s as if they’re in a paradise and the drops of rain are the showers of love enrapturing them.
“Hyung, I better get you home.”
Heechul didn’t nudge at his place, but instead, hugged the younger tighter.
“Are you really leaving me?”
Siwon was taken aback by his hyung’s question.
“Isn’t that what you want?”
Heechul didn’t answer so he hesitantly continued.
“I.. I know that you don’t love me.”
Heechul broke the hug and looked at Siwon with angry eyes.
“And who the heck told you that?!”
“I- but you.. Hangeng” Siwon stuttered not really knowing what to say.
“You know what? I’m disappointed.”
Heechul looked away from Siwon, crossing his arms and playing an annoyed expression.
“I taught of all people you should be the one that noticed that I already love you, just tell me if I’m wasting time here. Look, my hair is ruined, my skin might get damage from being soaked on too much rain. My eyes..”
Heechul continued speaking not minding Siwon who was now wide-eyed after Heechul’s words registered into him.
“You what?”
“I keep on blabbering here and you’re not even listening to me.”
“Hyung, you know what I’m talking about.” Siwon give his famous smile, making fangirls and fanboys giddy over him, and of course Heechul isn’t an exemption.
“It’s your fault that you didn’t catch that. I’ll only say that once.”
Siwon gently scooped Heechul’s face and turn it into him. “Please”
Heechul stared at Siwon’s pleading eyes making him weak in the knees.
“F- F.. Fine! I love you okay! Now I’m really not repeating that no matter how much you plead me with those beautiful eyes of yours. So you better put that in your head and always remember it. Yah do you even understand me? I’m tired of talking! Shouldn’t you be kissing me now to silenced me and tell me you love me too?! You know what, I take it back. You’re..”
Siwon laughed as he scooped Heechul’s face and kissed him deeply. Heechul smiled as he kissed back, moaning from the intensity as Siwon suck and nips his soft luscious lips. Siwon took that as an opportunity to slid his tongue inside Heechul, exploring his warm cavern. Their tongues dancing in rhythm as they taste and own each other.
Heechul slids his hands into Siwon’s soaking wet top, exploring his hands to the younger’s defined body.
“Hyung, I don’t think we should be doing this here.”
Heechul ignored him and tease him even more as he pinch Siwon’s erect nipples, making the younger moan in Heechul’s mouth.
Siwon knows that once he gives in, there’s no turning back. So he gathers all his will power and with so much resistance, he pulls away from Heechul.
“Where in a public place, people might see us. Let’s just continue this back at the dorm”
The other whines as he tries to bring Siwon’s face back to his. “But I can’t wait anymore.”
He then looked at Siwon’s eyes intently. “I can’t wait anymore to show my love for you, I want to make love to you Siwon.”
Siwon can’t help but smile at his hyung’s words. He just wanted to attack Heechul at that moment, and shower the overflowing love his feeling at the moment. But he resisted and instead he pulled Heechul in a nearby dark alley.
Once they reach the place, Siwon pushed Heechul at the wall and didn’t wait any second to devour Heechul’s lips in a passionate kiss.
The other immediately replied as he holds on to Siwon’s locks and push his face closer, as his mouth lounges deeper into his.
He then tugs into Siwon’s shirt, wanting to feel Siwon’s bare body.
“Are you sure?”
“Just do it!” Heechul whined as he pushes his erection into Siwon’s that’s now hardening like a rock.
The friction makes Siwon lose his mind and submit to the enticing calls of pleasure. So he immediately pulls off his shirt and Heechul’s.
He roamed his lips into Heechul’s milky white skin before crouching downwards and unbuttoning Heechul’s pants and sliding it down with Heechul’s boxers that’s now wet with the rain and pre-cum.
He lustfully eyes the throbbing erect member as he teasingly caresses it.
“Fuck Siwon just take it!”
Being the obedient dongsaeng that he is, he started to lick the top, enjoying the salty taste of Heechul’s pre-cum.
He kissed it first before slowly nipping and sucking it, making Heechul moan his heart out.
Enjoying Heechul’s moans, that’s like music to his ears, he immediately engulf Heechul’s whole into his mouth. Sucking it deeply as he playfully fumbles with Heechul’s balls.
Heechul can’t help it as he thrust his hips into Siwon’s mouth making the younger gag as Heechul’s member reach his throat.
After relaxing from Heechul’s length, he continued sucking it, grazing his teeth as he do so while Heechul continually thrust into his mouth.
Heechul starts to feel that familiar pooling in his stomach as he fastens his pace in Siwon.
He was furious when the younger suddenly released his length. “Siwon!”
“Not yet baby.” Siwon reached for Heechul’s head as he leaves him a short deep kiss.
Then, he unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants and boxers hurriedly, as his member achingly craves for attention.
Heechul lick his lips as he stares at Siwon’s big cock, greedy to have every inch of it inside of him.
He can’t wait anymore so he sits on the floor and spreads his legs wide apart. “Take me. Now. Please make me yours. I want to be yours.”
Siwon’s member twitches at the erotic sight, making him want to fuck the daylights off of the man in front of him.
He immediately crouches down as he brings Heechul’s legs at the side of his waist.
He’s about to slid in a finger in Heechul’s tight hole but was stopped as Heechul grips into his hands.
“I want to feel you raw inside me.”
Siwon’s member twitch more at the lovely invitation so he waste no time and slids his member inside Heechul.
“Fuck!” Heechul cried in pain as he feels his ass being ripped apart.
Siwon brought his hands into Heechul’s face and gently caress it. When the older starts to calm down, he gave him a chaste kiss before sliding the rest of his member inside Heechul's tight passage.
Heechul screamed in pain as he holds on into Siwon’s skin, leaving scratches at the younger’s back.
When Heechul was already accustomed to the sudden tightness, he started to buck his hips forward, nudging Siwon to start moving
Siwon complied to his hyung and slids out his member then immediately slids it back in deeper.
He repeated the process while Heechul started screaming in ecstasy. “Agh.. Siwon. Faster!”
Siwon thrust faster, matching Heechul’s moans as he feels his balls slapping into Heechul’s tight ass making his heart flow with immense pleasure.
He brought Heechul’s legs into his shoulder, as he thrust deeper into Heechul’s ass.
“Oh Shit! Siwon there! Ahh….” Siwon grinned as he knows he found Heechul’s sweet spot. He repeatedly hit the spot, making Heechul lose his mind. “Ah Siwon! More!”
Skin slapping and lustful moans filled the once silent alley. The taught of someone seeing them, even adds to the already heightened pleasure they feel.
After one more deep thrust Heechul came, spilling his cum all over Siwon’s stomach.
Heechul smirked and lazily licks Siwon clean from his sticky liquid.
Siwon moaned at the feelings of Heechul’s tongue in his skin, making him shoot all of his cum inside Heechul.
Both of them pants as they enraptured in each other’s sweaty bodies in a hug.
Heechul rest his head into Siwon’s broad chest then looked into the younger’s eyes. “I love you.”
“I thought you’re not going to repeat that again?” Siwon teasingly chuckled.
“If you don’t want to hear it then I..” Heechul was silenced as Siwon captured his lips.
“I love you Kim Heechul, I love you so much even that doesn’t rightfully explain the overflowing love I feel for you.”
“You’re so cheesy.” Heechul rolled his eyes but gives a soft sincere smile to the younger man.
“I’ll be anything for you. Thanks for loving me.”
“No, thank YOU for loving me this much.” Heechul replied, leaving kisses to the taller male.
“I love you.”
They then divulge in a now, Siwon’s assured, on a slow make-love session. Enjoying and accepting every bit of love the older man is giving him and gladly returning it with all of his.