Belated Update
First of all & before I forget BREAK A LEG ENDRAIA!! I am sure Pendragon will go just fine for U.
Now down to business... Saw Neil on Tuesday, which is such a waste of time, I really am not 'gelling' with him @ all, I don't feel I can be really honest with him, I did try on Tuesday, but it fell flat on it's face!! I feel like I am to 'damaged' for him to help me & that I am too much of a complicated 'case' for him to handle, also being a man really isn't helping either I don't think. Then I went to see Dr Cannavina, after a month I thought I had my feelings under control, but no as soon as I see her I fall 'in love' all over again, she was telling me about her Christmas & about how she had all the family up from Kent, she treats me like a 'proper' person & it makes me confused & muddled because I don't know if she is just feeling sorry for 'billy no-mates Mhairi' or if she genuinely does like me, I find it very hard to distinguish it all.
Was speaking to Wendy online tonight & @ the end of the conversation she said 'Sympathy will get U nowhere' I replied 'I don't want sympathy from you, I never have from anyone' now am really confused about what she meant, does she think I want sympathy from her, because I don't I don't want anything from her. Fuck I hate my mind sometimes it really screws things up. I really want to be friends with Wendy, but I think I am just going to muck things up too much for that to happen.
I have got Louise (loopylou) keeping her fingers crossed for me tomorrow, because I want this cast off, but I doubt really if that will happen. Anyway I should really go & have my tea.
Take care.
Now down to business... Saw Neil on Tuesday, which is such a waste of time, I really am not 'gelling' with him @ all, I don't feel I can be really honest with him, I did try on Tuesday, but it fell flat on it's face!! I feel like I am to 'damaged' for him to help me & that I am too much of a complicated 'case' for him to handle, also being a man really isn't helping either I don't think. Then I went to see Dr Cannavina, after a month I thought I had my feelings under control, but no as soon as I see her I fall 'in love' all over again, she was telling me about her Christmas & about how she had all the family up from Kent, she treats me like a 'proper' person & it makes me confused & muddled because I don't know if she is just feeling sorry for 'billy no-mates Mhairi' or if she genuinely does like me, I find it very hard to distinguish it all.
Was speaking to Wendy online tonight & @ the end of the conversation she said 'Sympathy will get U nowhere' I replied 'I don't want sympathy from you, I never have from anyone' now am really confused about what she meant, does she think I want sympathy from her, because I don't I don't want anything from her. Fuck I hate my mind sometimes it really screws things up. I really want to be friends with Wendy, but I think I am just going to muck things up too much for that to happen.
I have got Louise (loopylou) keeping her fingers crossed for me tomorrow, because I want this cast off, but I doubt really if that will happen. Anyway I should really go & have my tea.
Take care.