Hmmmm!!!
I am updating very much these days. I don't seem to have the same motivation to sit & think about what I want to say. Last week I was feeling pretty shitty physically, I have a sore headache almost everyday of last week & was being sick almost every morning too, luckily it seems to have cleared now - which is just as well because I was in no mood for making a Dr's appt.
This week I've been feeling shitty emotionally, I have been trying so hard not to cut & I'm succeeding so far, although I think self discharging myself from all of my therapists wasn't the cleverest of ideas, but I really don't think they were helping, I would be on the waiting list for months, see someone & then get told there would be 'no further MH input' so I figure I may as well go it alone. I've spoken to Wendy about me not SI'ing & she was like 'Yeah thats fab, for every week you don't SI I will buy you something.' which I do understand was her trying to be helpful (albeit it abit patronizingly!!) but I am not going to have her buy me anything, I'm not doing this for her, I'm doing it for me & I don't need the pressure of having to 'live up' to her expectations of me, anyway she has been really nice & she keeps on calling me 'darling' which feels abit weird, but so lovely at the same time. I am supposed to be going out for dinner on Saturday night with 7 others (including Wendy) but I don't think I can do it, I have tried reasoning with myself, but the thought of sitting with 7 others around a table freaks me out.
Lexie, your pictures are lovely - you really are such a stunning girlie!!
This week I've been feeling shitty emotionally, I have been trying so hard not to cut & I'm succeeding so far, although I think self discharging myself from all of my therapists wasn't the cleverest of ideas, but I really don't think they were helping, I would be on the waiting list for months, see someone & then get told there would be 'no further MH input' so I figure I may as well go it alone. I've spoken to Wendy about me not SI'ing & she was like 'Yeah thats fab, for every week you don't SI I will buy you something.' which I do understand was her trying to be helpful (albeit it abit patronizingly!!) but I am not going to have her buy me anything, I'm not doing this for her, I'm doing it for me & I don't need the pressure of having to 'live up' to her expectations of me, anyway she has been really nice & she keeps on calling me 'darling' which feels abit weird, but so lovely at the same time. I am supposed to be going out for dinner on Saturday night with 7 others (including Wendy) but I don't think I can do it, I have tried reasoning with myself, but the thought of sitting with 7 others around a table freaks me out.
Lexie, your pictures are lovely - you really are such a stunning girlie!!