Disappointment...
Okay you guys, what the hell do I do? I can't live like this anymore and I'm SICK AND TIRED OF ALWAYS COMPLAINING TO PEOPLE! I know those of you I complain to the most *cough* Beth *cough* (=P) say you don't care and the rest of you kind of just laugh it off as another rant and that's cool, but I'm turning into one of those types of people who can't even interact with another human being without doing it! Lisa had someone come over to help her work on her tax stuff and the lady got here a little early so Lisa wasn't back from getting the dog yet. And I was SOOO excited that she wanted to make small talk. I HATE SMALL TALK! If I had to chose between making small talk and sitting in uncomfortable silence I would "normally" pick uncomfortable silence everytime. I LIKE PICKING UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE DAMNIT! I very much dislike my job, I miss having friends and a social life. I mean soon enough (should I ever even meet someone!!) my social life will consist of that person and whatever kids we may or may not have. Now is the time for me to have zillions of friends to just go hang out with. I'm not supposed to be totally socially deprived UNLESS IT'S MY CHOICE!! Grrr!! So I'm asking you one last time, because I know I've asked many times previous. What the hell do I do? My family says to just quit, but they're rather biased and none of them are in the job situation. Other than Nella, but that's connected with her school so it's kind of different.
*insert 40 minute break inwhich I talked to my dad*
I seriously must get my logic from my dad. The way he explained what I should do made SOO much sense. I mean talking to my mom is great for that immediate "kick 'er in the face" responses, but I could never actually DO what she suggests in real life. Though it's wicked fun to think about doing. My dad isn't so great with the immediate responses, but the overall, long-term logic that he talks about definitely keeps my inner self more calm. If there's only one thing that I've REALLY learned from this experience it's that I'm only truly comfortable acting with my head, not my emotions. I definitely analyze things with my emotions, but I can't act with them. Guess that kind of comes with the whole "not caring about much" thing. I'm actually very blah emotionally. My dad just totally gave me a plan that will bypass all the emotionalness of the situation. I'll hang out for the next two months because I have to in order to get my certificate. After that I'll just tell her that I'm thinking of leaving because I'm not sure now that this is the type of career I want to do. That it's just not working for me personally, professionally it might be fine, but personally it's just not working (should she ask why). Then (hopefully) we'll negotiate how much longer she needs to find someone to replace me. In the meantime I'm going to start looking for any kind of secretary/daycare/preschool job openings either near my mom's or my dad's. I'll probably have more luck with my dad's though only because it's about halfway between two bigger cities. And then I'll go back to school and hopefully find somewhere that has a program for medical billing or insurance claims or something. Well, that's about all. I think I might pop in a movie and start my weekend off with a... well movie. =P Hope to talk to some of you soon.
*insert 40 minute break inwhich I talked to my dad*
I seriously must get my logic from my dad. The way he explained what I should do made SOO much sense. I mean talking to my mom is great for that immediate "kick 'er in the face" responses, but I could never actually DO what she suggests in real life. Though it's wicked fun to think about doing. My dad isn't so great with the immediate responses, but the overall, long-term logic that he talks about definitely keeps my inner self more calm. If there's only one thing that I've REALLY learned from this experience it's that I'm only truly comfortable acting with my head, not my emotions. I definitely analyze things with my emotions, but I can't act with them. Guess that kind of comes with the whole "not caring about much" thing. I'm actually very blah emotionally. My dad just totally gave me a plan that will bypass all the emotionalness of the situation. I'll hang out for the next two months because I have to in order to get my certificate. After that I'll just tell her that I'm thinking of leaving because I'm not sure now that this is the type of career I want to do. That it's just not working for me personally, professionally it might be fine, but personally it's just not working (should she ask why). Then (hopefully) we'll negotiate how much longer she needs to find someone to replace me. In the meantime I'm going to start looking for any kind of secretary/daycare/preschool job openings either near my mom's or my dad's. I'll probably have more luck with my dad's though only because it's about halfway between two bigger cities. And then I'll go back to school and hopefully find somewhere that has a program for medical billing or insurance claims or something. Well, that's about all. I think I might pop in a movie and start my weekend off with a... well movie. =P Hope to talk to some of you soon.