If you lead, I might follow, J2, AU, 10/19
Gorgeous header by the lovely smiledrawinglie
Title: If you lead, I might follow
Written by: ellydee27
Fandom/Pairing: CW RPS/J2. AU. Jared/Jensen, Mike/Jeffrey. Other characters: Tom, Chris and more
Rating: This chapter: PG 13, story as a whole: NC17
Word count: ~3900/ 54,850
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything and I don’t mean any harm. Just having fun.
Beta: The oh,so hard-working jolinarmalkshur -you’re a hero for taking this on! Any remaining errors are mine.
Warnings: Homophobic parents, mentions of past abusive relationship (briefly).
Summary: Jared Padalecki, 19, dance student, recently moved from Texas to New York with his upperclass family. Struggling with the expectations from his family as well as with certain dance moves, he takes a Hip Hop class where he meets Jensen, 23, a stripper with all the confidence in the world. A not-so-classic tale of two worlds colliding, where Jared’s the shy one, Jensen has the coolest friends in the world and neither of them know what they’re doing.
A/N: This story is pretty much finished, so I promise there won’t be too long to wait between chapters. Hope you enjoy, and please take two seconds to leave me a comment!
~~*~~
Previous chapters:
"Chapter one"
"Chapter two"
"Chapter three"
"Chapter four"
"Chapter five"
"Chapter six"
"Chapter seven"
"Chapter eight"
"Chapter nine"
~~*~~
Jared
“Hello, dear,” Sharon greets him as he enters the apartment. “How was class?”
“It was good.” Jared turns his back to hide his blush, hanging up his coat in the wardrobe.
“It’s almost finished now, right?”
“There are four more weeks, Mom.”
“Oh. Okay. So, you had a good time when the boys were here, right?”
“Yes, Mom, it was cool.”
“You know, Megan’s staying over with a friend tomorrow, would you like to have your friends over? It’s Friday, after all.”
“Em…I think they work, at least Jensen and Mike do.” Jared mumbles in reply.
“Oh. Well, another night then? You know, there’s plenty of room.”
“Yeah, sure. Actually, they were talking about hanging out at Jensen’s next Friday, would that be okay?”
“I’ll ask Gerry, dear. I’m sure it will be okay. Such a nice boy, that Jensen, real polite.”
“Yeah, he’s nice.” Jared blushes again and heads for the stairs. Discussing Jensen with his mom is not on his list of great ideas.
“See you at dinner!” Sharon calls after him as he jogs up to his room.
~~*~~
Jensen
“So, they’re all coming?” Chris asks, slouching on the couch with a bottle of beer in his hand.
Jensen’s pushing at his feet, trying to vacuum around the coffee table.
“Yeah, Tom, Mike, Jared.”
“I can’t wait to see Jailbait.” Chris announces loudly, trying to be heard over the vacuuming.
Jensen scowls at him, and runs over his sock-clad feet with the vacuum, causing a surprised shout from his roommate.
“He’s not jailbait, fucker.”
“Really? But he’s in high school, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, but he’s nineteen. An adult.”
“You’re not an adult until you can drink beer in a bar.” Chris states with a smirk, knowing that he’s pushing his friend’s buttons.
“I don‘t think he‘ll have trouble sneaking in to a bar, Chris, just wait till you see him, okay?” Jensen turns off the machine and starts putting it away, in a closet next to the kitchen.
“And he’s really shy?”
“Uhuh.” Jensen confirms half-heartedly, walking around their living room and picking up clutter.
“And he’s filthy rich. And lives with his family on the upper East side.”
Jensen just nods, not having the patience to give a proper answer.
“And you still agreed to be his fucking boyfriend?” Chris sounds nothing but mildly amused, crude words just his way of talking.
“Yeah, I did, get over it. I’ve told you, I like him. It’s worth a shot right? I mean, you do the boyfriend-thing all the time.”
“Yep, but that’s me. I’ve got boyfriend-skills. You, on the other hand, have never done it before, and this sounds complicated for a first-timer.”
“Well I happen to think that‘s a good thing. Neither of us know what we’re doing, so we’ll have to figure it out together. And we’re not like out and proud, or whatever, so really, it’s not that different.” Jensen reasons.
“Not that different to one-night stands and affairs with married men?” Chris raises a questioning eyebrow, before taking another sip of his beer.
Jensen shakes his head at his friends mockery, abandoning his task and heading for the fridge to get a bottle of his own. The clock on the wall says ten to eight, and the guys said they’d be there by eight. He returns to the living room, takes a long sip of his bottle as he flops down on the other couch. There’s a game-show on TV, one of Chris’s favorite pastimes.
“Okay, it is different, but give me a break, man. You seriously don’t think I can do it?” Jensen asks quietly, wanting a real answer from his friend this time.
Chris turns to look at him then, putting the bottle down on the table.
“No, I think you can do it.” He sighs. “I’m just… worried for you, you’re not acting like yourself here, and I’m used to you dealing with life a certain way, you know? I don’t really see you as a relationship guy, and I’ve figured you’ve avoided it because you didn’t want to get hurt. And this kid here? It just seems like he could hurt you.”
Jensen’s eyes widen at Chris’ earnest words. Chris is pretty much the ultimate friend; protective and supportive, loyal to a fault. But talking about things this seriously is not the way they usually do it. They normally talk everything out over beer and a game on the TV, talking through both the game and the issues in the same no-bullshit manner.
Jensen has calmed down after his initial freak-out concerning his feelings for Jared, has accepted that they’re not going away, and are basically out of his control. He’s returned to being his laid-back self, dealing with the whole situation one day at the time. They haven’t seen each other since last week’s big decision. Jensen’s started teaching the new strippers Tuesdays and Thursdays, so they‘re both busy, and with conflicting schedules there just hasn‘t been time.
They talk on the phone several times a day though, getting to know each other little by little. Jared calls in between classes, and on the subway on his way home. Jensen calls Jared when he’s on break at the club. The calls at night are Jensen’s favorite, because he’ll sometimes be able to talk Jared into phone-sex, and Jensen loves the way he can make Jared come with his words, his voice. The sound of Jared coming on the other end always pushes him over the edge as he touches himself, lounging on the couch in the back room. It’s only been a week, but Jared’s voice is already the most erotic sound Jensen knows.
“I know he can hurt me.” Jensen finally replies, in the same morose tone of voice. “But I also know he doesn’t want to. And I know it’s not ideal, and all that, but life doesn’t always end up like you pictured, right?”
“Yeah, that’s the truth.” Chris says, knowing that’s a lesson Jensen’s learned the hard way.
“Yeah. And I know I’ve always been about no responsibilities and doing whatever I want, but at the moment, this is what I want.”
“Okay. You know I’m just…being me, right? I want you to go for it if it’s what you want.” Chris is looking at the TV-screen, avoiding eye contact as he always does when the conversation becomes emotional.
“I know, man.” Jensen nods, about to say something more when the doorbell rings. “There they are. So you’re definitely staying?”
Chris nods. “Hell yeah. Like I said, I wanna see Jail- Jared.” He grins wickedly at his not-so-Freudian slip. “And Mike’s coming, right? He’s cool. You‘re not doing secret dance stuff that I can‘t witness, right?”
“Just behave.” Jensen gets up from the couch and runs to open the door.
~~*~~
Jared
The door to the apartment is brown and looks like it should’ve been changed ten years ago. The building isn’t as bad as he’d imagined it could be in this part of town, though. It’s relatively clean, though it looks old and worn. He presses the doorbell, chuckling at the drawing of two stickmen on the sign that says “Jensen and Chris”.
Jensen opens the door a second later, smiling widely. A rush of heat runs through Jared at the sight, making his fingers tingle when it reaches them. Jensen’s wearing worn jeans and a white t-shirt, covered by a plaid shirt. Jared’s mind goes blank, no coherent thoughts in his head except for “Wow, he looks good”.
“Hey boyfriend,” Jensen’s smile grows impossibly wider, making his eyes crinkle up at the corners. Jared is intrigued by those lines, the lines that indicate that the smile is real, joyous. “You find it okay?” He adds when Jared doesn’t return his greeting.
“Yeah, I got a cab, Mom’s orders.” Jared finally replies with a small smile. He enters as Jensen opens the door wider to let him through. Once inside, he finds himself pushed up against the wall, his lips caught in a passionate kiss. Jared’s momentarily surprised, but after a few seconds he responds, opening up and welcoming Jensen’s demanding mouth. Suddenly heat and want is all he feels, Jensen’s groans and heavy breathing all he hears. Until a very loud voice breaks the moment.
~~*~~
Jensen
“Well, well, what do we have here, Thomas?”
“Gee, I don’t know, Michael, it does look alarmingly like two boys kissing, surely that can’t be right?”
“I pray it isn’t, but I fear you have read the situation correctly, Thomas.”
Jensen pulls away from Jared slowly, and smiles amusedly at his taller boyfriend.
“Hello to you Sirs, are your delicate sensibilities offended by our show of affection? I do apologize,” Jensen acts along.
Mike and Tom snorts in unison. “Like hell you do. So, you’re celebrating your one week anniversary or something?”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Dude, that was yesterday.”
Mike cocks an eyebrow at this statement, and Jensen actually looks slightly embarrassed when he realizes what he said. Jared chuckles behind him as Mike and Tom makes matching “awww” -sounds.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Jensen mutters, but there’s a smile playing on his lips as he looks at Jared again. “Come on in, guys, Chris is here, by the way, that’s cool right?”
Tom and Mike nods, while Jared looks slightly nervous. “Don’t worry, he‘ll be nice, I promise” Jensen whispers in his ear, earning a patented shy smile from his boyfriend.
They all follow Jensen into the living room, where Chris gets up from the couch to greet them. Mike gives him a man-hug, before taking a seat on the comfortable couch.
“Hey, I’m Tom, nice to meet you.” Tom reaches out a hand to shake Chris’s.
“Hey, man, how are ya. You’re the other straight guy, right?”
Tom grins widely at the straight-forward comment. “That’s right. We’re few and far between, right?”
“Well, at least in this town.” Chris chuckles.
“And this must be Jared.” Chris states seriously as Tom finds his seat in a chair.
“Hey.” Jared greets shyly, holding out a hand for Chris. He receives a firm shake, piercing blue eyes studying him intently. Jensen can tell Jared’s uncomfortable under the scrutiny, but admires him for standing straight and facing the older man.
“Hey, man, good to meet ya.” Chris says finally, smiling widely.
“You too.” Jared returns the smile, if not in a more subdued version.
“Okay then, have a seat, I’ll get us some drinks.” Chris moves to get beverages, and Mike calls after him.
“Remember: coke for the kids, no corrupting the minors!”
“This from the guy who worked in a bar and slept with his boss at eighteen?” Chris calls over his shoulder.
“Nineteen!” Mike calls in correction.
“I don’t think that makes a whole heap of a difference, Mike.” Jensen chuckles, lounging next to Jared on the couch, putting a hand on his boyfriend’s thigh. Jared looks at him bashfully, but returns his grin when he squeezes the muscled thigh.
“Yeah, whatever. We’re all sinners here.” Mike grins, eyeing the hand on Jared’s thigh.
“Not me!” Tom states cheekily. Mike turns to him, unbelievingly, and starts laughing at the innocent look on Tom’s features.
“Yeah, right. No one believes you’re as innocent as you try to look man.”
“I’ll have you know that plenty of people believe I am,” Tom replies, still with his wide grin.
“Yeah, none of those are in this room, though, Tom.” Jared states dryly.
“Believe what you will, but I’m not admitting to anything.” Tom shrugs. “So, what are we doing?” He asks, casually accepting the beer he’s offered from Chris.
“I don’t know, watch a movie, play a game?”
“No offence, but beating you guys gets boring after a while, what movies have you got?” Mike inquires.
“Hmm… Friday the 13th.? The remake?” Jensen suggests, earning nods from the others. He takes the movie off the shelf, puts it in and heads for the kitchen when it starts.
As he leans up from the fridge, more beers in hand, Jared catches him by surprise, leaning against the counter.
“Hey man, you alright?”
Jared nods. “Yeah, I’m good. Just thought we could have a few seconds to ourselves.”
Jensen raises an eyebrow at Jared’s initiative. “Heh, am I rubbing off on you already?” He walks close to his boyfriend, positioning himself between Jared’s longer legs and putting the bottles down on the counter behind him.
“I think so.” Jared grins, before closing the distance between them and capturing soft lips in a gentle kiss.
The kiss heats up quickly, becoming less about gentleness, and more about longing desperation. The connection between them is still so intense, making them crave each other, need to get closer. Tongues are battling for dominance, Jensen taking control as Jared loses himself to the emotions, the desire. He lets out a sigh when Jensen pulls back, breath heavy as he rests his forehead against Jared’s damp one.
“We should probably stop there.” Jensen’s voice is a hoarse whisper.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jared replies.
Neither of them makes an effort to move though, locked in place by each other’s heated gazes. A voice from the living room calling out for more beer finally pulls them apart, as Jared turns around to pick up the bottles on the counter. They return to the living room half a minute later, Jensen carrying bags of chips and Jared with the requested drinks.
“What have you been up to?” Mike asks loudly, earning a snigger from Chris, sitting next to him.
“Mike, don’t ask, I don’t wanna know.” He quips, all rough voice and soft vowels.
Jensen just sniggers at his friends. “Don’t worry, we’re behaving.”
Jared blushes as he sits down, taking a sip of his beer and focusing on the screen. He smiles cautiously at his boyfriend who finds his seat next to him, their shoulders brushing, Jensen’s hand on his thigh.
They all pay attention to the movie after that, only talking when they comment on the acting or the many, many sex-scenes of the film.
~~*~~
Jared
He tries to pay attention to what’s happening in the film, but his mind is filled with thoughts of the man next to him. Jensen shifts sideways after a couple of minutes, tugging at Jared until he’s laying in his lap, Jensen’s arm falling to rest on his chest. Jared feels awkward at first, self-conscious about the show of affection in front of the others. Mike and Tom don’t seem to pay any attention, but he catches Chris’ eye a couple of times. At first he seems to be studying them curiously, maybe with a hint of skepticism. Jared tries to overcome his fear for the man, knowing he’s Jensen’s best friend and only wants him to be happy. The careful smile he sends in his direction, trying to indicate that he has the same intentions, is returned with a crooked one.
Jensen’s hand feels scorching hot on his chest, like it will leave an imprint, a physical mark of possession on his skin. Jared can still feel the hand when Jensen removes it to take a sip of his beer. The taste of beer is still unfamiliar to Jared, and his own bottle is still half full when the movie ends.
“So, what are we gonna do now?” Tom asks enthusiastically as the credits start rolling.
“Have you got any suggestions, since you’re so excited?” Chris asks.
“Yup. “The never-have-I-ever-game“.” Tom’s wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, grinning widely at his own idea.
Jensen groans loudly. “ That is such a bad idea, Tom, seriously.”
Mike and Chris are on board immediately, nodding enthusiastically.
“Come on, Jen, it’ll be fun! And plus, Jared needs to know what he’s getting himself in to. Think of it as a way to get to know each other better.” Chris is on the verge of bursting into laughter at Jensen’s panicked expression.
“Em…I’ve never played it, but I’m sure it’s cool.” Jared adds to the discussion.
“Oh yeah, you’ll like it, Jay. We take turns saying stuff that we’ve never done, and everyone who has done it, has to drink.” Chris explains.
“Oh, I see.” Jared swallows, trying to look unfazed but failing miserably.
Chris makes sure everyone has drinks, and volunteers to go first.
“Hmm…I’ve never slept with a guy.” Chris snickers as Mike and Jensen drinks.
“I’ve never slept with a girl.” Mike shoots back when it’s his turn.
Chris smiles widely, clinking his bottle with Tom before they both take a sip. Jared raises an eyebrow in question when Jensen also drinks. He shrugs in response. “I was young,” he says, sounding apologetic.
“I’ve never been to Paris.” Jensen says, earning questioning looks from the others.
Jared drinks silently, and Jensen throws out his hands, grinning.
“See? I knew it, gotta get the kid to drink somehow, right?”
This causes a laugh from the others. Jared’s next, but Tom interrupts him.
“You stayed in Paris as a kid, right?”
Jared nods. “Yeah, for a year. That’s why I’m still in high school, I didn’t get credits for the year we were there. It‘s my turn right?”
Jensen nods encouragingly.
“Okay…I’ve never…been drunk.” Jared finishes, snickering to himself as everyone else takes exaggerated sips.
“Um. I’ve never smoked weed.” Tom looks around expectantly.
Two pairs of eyebrows raise as the oldest men take sips of their beers. Jensen looks at Jared, carefully monitoring his reactions. Jared sends him a consoling smile. He knows Jensen’s worried about his past, he might seem confident but Jared realizes that in this- relationship -they’re both scared. It makes him feel weirdly giddy, that he can make someone as confident as Jensen nervous. Jared squeezes Jensen’s knee and gives him a soothing smile, indicating that it’s okay. Jensen returns his smile, and Jared’s stomach clenches, like it always does when that smile’s directed at him.
“Alright, let’s see…I have never taken a dance class.” Chris grins widely, happy with making everyone else drink.
“Wow, that was really innocent man,” Mike states, surprised. “I have never had sex in a car.”
Chris, Jensen and Tom drinks, Jared making a questioning grimace at his younger friend. “What? I live with my parents, where else should we do it?” Tom shrugs.
Jared raises both arms in defeat. “Okay, forget I said anything.”
Jensen thinks about his next one carefully, earning impatient eye rolls from Chris and Mike.
“I’ve never…” he starts, not knowing how to continue.
“What, you can’t think of anything you haven’t done?” Jared asks teasingly, the surprise of his joke causing loud laughs from the other guys.
Jensen sends him a death glare, but it soon dissolves as he joins the others in raucous laughter.
“I thought you said he was nice and shy, “ Chris chuckles sarcastically. “And here he is, making fun of his own boyfriend. I like it.” He winks at Jared, making him blush from the compliment.
“Alright, you asked for it, Jay. I’ve never been to Rome.”
Jared makes an exaggerated moan, rolling his eyes before raising the bottle to his lips. He scrunches his nose at the taste, and Jensen leans forward then, surprising him with a kiss. It’s an innocent touch, firm lips pressing against his own for only a second. It still fills him with intense emotions, not of desire, but of something deeper; an indescribable, elated sensation.
“I give up.” Christian soon declares, after a few more rounds, putting his feet up on the table as he leans back on the couch. “That kid ain’t going anywhere, are you Jay?”
“Nope.” Jared feels his grin stretching his face as he replies, eyes fixed on Jensen’s sparkling green ones. He knows he looks goofy, but doesn’t care.
“That mean he passed your test, Chris?” Jensen breaks their eye contact and directs his attention to his roommate.
“Meh,” Chris shrugs. “The drinking game is only the first test of many. But he’s alright for now, I guess.” The grin that accompanies the words makes Jared think his bark is worse than his bite.
“You know I don’t care what you say, though, right?” Jensen continues, teasing his friend.
“Well, you should - start paying attention to someone older and wiser, you know?”
“Older maybe,” Jensen retorts, “Wiser? Hell no.”
Chris gives him the finger in response. Mike gets up from his couch suddenly, getting everyone’s attention.
“I’m gonna pop out for a cig, you coming?” Jensen nods, getting up quickly. He looks around the room, but no one else moves to join them.
~~*~~
Jensen
“So, things are going well, right? With you and Jared?” Mike says as he exhales from his first drag.
“I think so. It feels too easy, though, you know?”
Mike looks at him, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s a problem? What did you expect?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that it would be awkward, or that I would mess things up, or something. Just not…this.”
“This?”
“Yeah, this…happy shit. Makes me think something’s gonna go wrong soon.”
“What do you think will go wrong?”
“I don’t know, that he’ll realize he’s too good for me maybe?”
Jensen says the last sentence with an insecure voice, already knowing how Mike will reply, but still needing to hear it.
“Look, Jen, you know I hate being all serious and shit, so listen carefully. Jared knows what you do, what you’re like, and thanks to a certain drinking game and your lack of boundaries, he knows a lot about what you’ve done. He still wants to be with you. And a blind man on a galloping horse could tell you’ve got it bad for each other. And yeah, things can always go wrong, and the family thing is definitely an issue, but don‘t let it hold you back. He‘s good for you.”
“Yeah, I know that. Thanks, man.” Jensen shakes his head at himself. “Can you believe this is me, though? Think I can really do the boyfriend -thing?”
Mike looks at him, wondering where this is going.
“Of course you can, man, you’re already good at it. It’s just you and him, right? If it feels easy, then enjoy it, don’t worry about it.”
Jensen takes his last puff, and smiles at his friend as he stumps the cigarette on the wall of the building. “I’m being girly again, aren‘t I?”
“Yup, it’s getting really embarrassing, dude.” Mike sniggers, tossing his own stub on the ground.
“Yeah, I’ll try to tone it down, man.” Jensen says mock-apologetically as he opens the door, both of them walking back upstairs.
When they enter the living room, Chris and Jared are engaged in a game of Gran Turismo, shouting at each other over the loud volume of the game. Tom is invested in the race too, almost jumping out of his seat as he watches.
Jensen and Mike find their seats again, sharing a smile at the camaraderie between Chris and Jared before leaning back and enjoying the rest of the night.
~~*~~
"Chapter eleven"