thirty lines to make you smile
>
> 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
>
> 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>
> 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
>
> 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>
> 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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> 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
>
> 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
>
> 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>
> 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>
> 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
>
> 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>
> 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
>
> 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>
> 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>
> 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>
> 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>
> 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
>
> 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
>
> 19.. Procrastinate Now!
>
> 20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
>
> 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
> 22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
>
> 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>
> 24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
>
> 25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
>
> 26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
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> 27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
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> 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
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> 29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
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> 30.. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.
>
> Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying
> for. Will Rogers
>