I offer grace, I offer blood. I offer everything till my heart is crystal clear.
I'm sure I've used this title before... hum?
Lol and I've been listening to this song for the past 3 or 4 days on repeat. So sad.
Sorrie, I'ma gonna kill yo' firends page. *is sheepish*
So Yeah talking to Heather today... explaining a few tings why I've been stressed/ upset, etc. And I start crying... WTF? I can't remember the last time I cried in public. Poor girl just stood there looking awkward and then gave me a manly clap on the shoulder and a kind of stiff grip. lol it was so funny that if I hadn't been crying I would have laughed until I cried anyway so I guess it didn't matter.
Anyway, why I've been so upset...
♥ Graduation project stuff do and no time to do it,(it's due on friday and I have not done anything at all for it.)
♥♥ Teachers are like doubling the work load now.
♥♥♥ Mom went to have surgery today. ;-;
♥♥♥♥ I came home and the door was open and all the light were on... no one was home... I feared the house had been broken into.
♥♥♥♥♥ Dad did not call to tell me how mom was doing. Until he showed up at gram's for diner at 6:00. Gram was as upset as I was that he hadn't called.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ Been doing shitty in rifle... and I was so shaky today I didn't even try to hold a gun... I was shaking like I do just before a panic attack... coach told me to go home... I didn't want to so I stayed an hour even though I didn't shoot. :/
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Haven't been able to sleep since Sunday... and even then I only got 3 hours. ;-;
Marlana said she thought she closed the door, but might not have so... uh... I don't know I'm still upset about that anyway. Went to see mom... she's just eh. She's in a lot of pain and just looks bad. Plus when she lifted up the pillow she was holding over her stomach there was blood seeping through the bandages all over her hospital gown *whimper* and I saw all of it. I don't mid blood, but when it's my mommy laying there it was just so bad.
I was semi-alright in school today... yes I went... But every time I stopped doing something I got really depressed to the point I just wanted to curl up and not move, which I actually semi-did in Music Appreciation. lol. Music Appreciation... Vicki and I were talking about random things and so I told her that earlier today in class my mind had been wandering and I thought, "If I was a male teacher I would so stay after school and wank on a different student's desk everyday! Just so when they sat down and put their head ont he desk I would laugh because I had just jizzed on it last night." lol Then that went into the discussion of now that I thought that I haven't really wanted to even sit at the desks. lol Me and my perverted, random mind. :) Aren't you gald you all know me? Seriously I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. :D
Really long survey to take my mind off of things.
1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
**Start it first... turn on the stereo and then get in :)
2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
**Eh, what's the point... aren't they all the same? Lather, wait, rinse?
3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
**Nnnngh Ooooh yessss I do! lol no I don't really but I wish I did because it's funny ::yes, yes, yes, YES!:: *giggle giggle snort*
4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
**I wish... lol
5. Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
**Um, no.
6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
**WTF? No, dumbass.
7. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
**sure have
8. How old do you look?
**ugh old enough to think I'm my sister's mother... To walk into a bar and be told that they make great martini's... old enough for someone to think I was my fathers girlfriend... *winces* I'm only 17 man!
9. How old do you act?
**Who am I with?
10. What's the last song you sang?
**A7X- Bat Country
11. Have you recently become a member of anything?
**Um, AFI message board... MySpace (so I can stalk Davey) lol...
12. What are your plans for the weekend?
**Match on sat. and on sun Linds Britt and I are going to Sarris Candy and to a movie.
14. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
**I want to
15. Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
**Ew, no.
16. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
**Hell, I don't care... a wench probably ;) *jumps for joy* I get to work on a pirate ship! :P
17. Have you ever called anyone a slut?
**Repeatedly.
18. Have you ever been called a slut?
**Also, repeatedly
19. Have you ever smuggled something into America?
**I wanted to, but mommy wouldn't let me... I went to Canada last summer and there was a hash pipe and I wanted to buy it for linds 'cos it looked funny. lol.
20. Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
**Um, it's a plus... sometimes I guess so :)
21. Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
**Unfortunately I live near Pittsburgh. *blah* I get the steelers. ;-; Why can't I live in Wisconsin?
22. Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
**No
23. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
**eh, how should I know... probably millions.
24. How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
**99.9% only linds, britt and maybe 1 or 2 others would be sad... everyone else just comes to spit on me or kick me. lol :)
25. Do you have more enemies or more friends?
**Enemies defiantly.
26. Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
**not really.
27. Can you fix your own car?
**Depends.
28. Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
**Yes.
29. Are you smarter than your friends?
**Some.
30. Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
**I steel their souls from them all of the time... shhh don't tell.
31. Have you ever been to jail?
**We visited one on a school trip once... does that count? lol
32. Should you have?
**Maybe.
32. Do you like the taste of beer?
**Um, no. sXe. and the smell alone makes me gag.
34. Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
**Yes and often.
35. Have you ever given to charity?
**Yes.
36. Would you kill a dog for $1,000?
**with out a second thought
37. Do you sometimes get depressed?
**Yes
38. Do you live with your parents?
**sure do
39. Do you have plans for your future?
**eh, I guess so.
X MARKS THE SPOT
You are...
[X] under 5'4"
[] 5'4 - 5'6"
[] 5'7" - 6'0
[] 6'1" and up
Naturally...
[] Blonde
[] Red
[] Brunette
[X] Dirty blonde/brownish
[] Dark brown
[] Black
You are...
[X] Blue-eyed
[] Brown-eyed
[] Green-eyed
[] Hazel-eyed
[] Other
You have...
[] Glasses
[] Contacts
[X] Neither
You have...
[] Short hair
[] Medium hair
[X] Long hair
Your favorite color(s) are...
[X] Red
[] Khaki
[]Aqua
[] Pink
[] Hot pink
[] Yellow
[X] Black
[] Green
[] Lime green
[X] Blue
[X] White
[] Turquoise
[X] Silver
[] Purple
[] Brown
[] Orange
[] Gray
[] Maroon
[X] Gold
[] Teal
[] I don't really care
[] I don't believe in favorite colors
Some things you've done...
[X] Ice skating
[] Hiking
[X] Kayaking
[] Rafting
[] Water skiing
[X] Camping
[] Horseback riding
[] Body/surfing and skim/wake boarding
[X] Snowboarding
[] Skiing
[] Skateboarding
[X] Cheerleading
[] Lacrosse
[X] Street hockey
[X] Gymnastics
[] Martial arts
[X] Baton twirling
[X] Swimming
[X] Canoeing
Your personality is sometimes...
[] Talkative
[] Shy
[X] Funny
[X] Serious
[X] Laid back
[X] Strict
[X] Hyper
[X] Weird
[X] Ditzy
[X] Sarcastic
[] Slow
You like listening to...
[] Pop
[] Country
[X] Christian
[] Classical
[X] Techno
[] Oldies
[] Opera
[] 80's
[] Disco
[] Rap
[] R&B
[X] Emo
[X] Classic rock
[X] Rock
[X] Punk
[X] Metal
[X] Screamo
[] Reggae
Your confessions...
[] I'm afraid of the quiet
[] I am really ticklish
[] I'm afraid of the dark
[] I've collected comic books
[X] I shut others out when I'm sad
[X] I read the newspaper
[X] I love Disney movies
[X] I am a sucker for eyes
[] I don't kill bugs
[X] I have "x"s in my screen name
[X] I bake
[] I have worn pajamas to class
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[] I am self-conscious
[X] I love to laugh
[] I drink alcohol
[] I've smoke/d or tried cigarettes
[] I can't swallow pills
[X] I bite my nails
[] I play computer games when I'm bored
[X] Gotten lost in the city
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[] Made out in an elevator
[] Been skydiving
[] Been bungee jumping
[X] Bitten someone
[X] Dressed up like a guy/girl
[] Egged a house/car
[] Smashed into a car
[] Been fired
[] Been skinny dipping
Have you ever...
[X] Danced in the rain
[X] Seen a shooting star
[] Proposed to anyone
[X] Gotten stitches
[] Eaten Sushi
[X] Gotten the chicken pox
[] Ridden in a taxi
[] Been on a cruise ship
[X] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[] Been on a Plane by yourself
[X] Had surgery
[X] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[X] Been on stage
[X] Peed somewhere other than a toilet
[X]Gotten a black eye
[X] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[X] Watched an entire baseball game
Do you like...
[] Old movies
[X] Vintage cars
[X] Blasting music in your car
[X] Foreign foods
[] Animals
[] Christmas time
[X] Donuts
[X] Coffee
[X] Tea
[X] Broadway shows
TWO OF EVERY KIND
Two Names You Go By Other Than Your Real Name
1. Jay-Man
2. hey you!
Two Things That Scare You
1. Being alone forever
2. Dogs
Two Daily Routines
1. check e-mail
2. Go to school
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. My "I talk to squirrels" t-shirt.
2. Blue Jeans
Lol and I've been listening to this song for the past 3 or 4 days on repeat. So sad.
Sorrie, I'ma gonna kill yo' firends page. *is sheepish*
So Yeah talking to Heather today... explaining a few tings why I've been stressed/ upset, etc. And I start crying... WTF? I can't remember the last time I cried in public. Poor girl just stood there looking awkward and then gave me a manly clap on the shoulder and a kind of stiff grip. lol it was so funny that if I hadn't been crying I would have laughed until I cried anyway so I guess it didn't matter.
Anyway, why I've been so upset...
♥ Graduation project stuff do and no time to do it,(it's due on friday and I have not done anything at all for it.)
♥♥ Teachers are like doubling the work load now.
♥♥♥ Mom went to have surgery today. ;-;
♥♥♥♥ I came home and the door was open and all the light were on... no one was home... I feared the house had been broken into.
♥♥♥♥♥ Dad did not call to tell me how mom was doing. Until he showed up at gram's for diner at 6:00. Gram was as upset as I was that he hadn't called.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ Been doing shitty in rifle... and I was so shaky today I didn't even try to hold a gun... I was shaking like I do just before a panic attack... coach told me to go home... I didn't want to so I stayed an hour even though I didn't shoot. :/
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Haven't been able to sleep since Sunday... and even then I only got 3 hours. ;-;
Marlana said she thought she closed the door, but might not have so... uh... I don't know I'm still upset about that anyway. Went to see mom... she's just eh. She's in a lot of pain and just looks bad. Plus when she lifted up the pillow she was holding over her stomach there was blood seeping through the bandages all over her hospital gown *whimper* and I saw all of it. I don't mid blood, but when it's my mommy laying there it was just so bad.
I was semi-alright in school today... yes I went... But every time I stopped doing something I got really depressed to the point I just wanted to curl up and not move, which I actually semi-did in Music Appreciation. lol. Music Appreciation... Vicki and I were talking about random things and so I told her that earlier today in class my mind had been wandering and I thought, "If I was a male teacher I would so stay after school and wank on a different student's desk everyday! Just so when they sat down and put their head ont he desk I would laugh because I had just jizzed on it last night." lol Then that went into the discussion of now that I thought that I haven't really wanted to even sit at the desks. lol Me and my perverted, random mind. :) Aren't you gald you all know me? Seriously I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. :D
Really long survey to take my mind off of things.
1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
**Start it first... turn on the stereo and then get in :)
2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
**Eh, what's the point... aren't they all the same? Lather, wait, rinse?
3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
**Nnnngh Ooooh yessss I do! lol no I don't really but I wish I did because it's funny ::yes, yes, yes, YES!:: *giggle giggle snort*
4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
**I wish... lol
5. Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
**Um, no.
6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
**WTF? No, dumbass.
7. Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
**sure have
8. How old do you look?
**ugh old enough to think I'm my sister's mother... To walk into a bar and be told that they make great martini's... old enough for someone to think I was my fathers girlfriend... *winces* I'm only 17 man!
9. How old do you act?
**Who am I with?
10. What's the last song you sang?
**A7X- Bat Country
11. Have you recently become a member of anything?
**Um, AFI message board... MySpace (so I can stalk Davey) lol...
12. What are your plans for the weekend?
**Match on sat. and on sun Linds Britt and I are going to Sarris Candy and to a movie.
14. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
**I want to
15. Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
**Ew, no.
16. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
**Hell, I don't care... a wench probably ;) *jumps for joy* I get to work on a pirate ship! :P
17. Have you ever called anyone a slut?
**Repeatedly.
18. Have you ever been called a slut?
**Also, repeatedly
19. Have you ever smuggled something into America?
**I wanted to, but mommy wouldn't let me... I went to Canada last summer and there was a hash pipe and I wanted to buy it for linds 'cos it looked funny. lol.
20. Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
**Um, it's a plus... sometimes I guess so :)
21. Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
**Unfortunately I live near Pittsburgh. *blah* I get the steelers. ;-; Why can't I live in Wisconsin?
22. Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
**No
23. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
**eh, how should I know... probably millions.
24. How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
**99.9% only linds, britt and maybe 1 or 2 others would be sad... everyone else just comes to spit on me or kick me. lol :)
25. Do you have more enemies or more friends?
**Enemies defiantly.
26. Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
**not really.
27. Can you fix your own car?
**Depends.
28. Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
**Yes.
29. Are you smarter than your friends?
**Some.
30. Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
**I steel their souls from them all of the time... shhh don't tell.
31. Have you ever been to jail?
**We visited one on a school trip once... does that count? lol
32. Should you have?
**Maybe.
32. Do you like the taste of beer?
**Um, no. sXe. and the smell alone makes me gag.
34. Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
**Yes and often.
35. Have you ever given to charity?
**Yes.
36. Would you kill a dog for $1,000?
**with out a second thought
37. Do you sometimes get depressed?
**Yes
38. Do you live with your parents?
**sure do
39. Do you have plans for your future?
**eh, I guess so.
X MARKS THE SPOT
You are...
[X] under 5'4"
[] 5'4 - 5'6"
[] 5'7" - 6'0
[] 6'1" and up
Naturally...
[] Blonde
[] Red
[] Brunette
[X] Dirty blonde/brownish
[] Dark brown
[] Black
You are...
[X] Blue-eyed
[] Brown-eyed
[] Green-eyed
[] Hazel-eyed
[] Other
You have...
[] Glasses
[] Contacts
[X] Neither
You have...
[] Short hair
[] Medium hair
[X] Long hair
Your favorite color(s) are...
[X] Red
[] Khaki
[]Aqua
[] Pink
[] Hot pink
[] Yellow
[X] Black
[] Green
[] Lime green
[X] Blue
[X] White
[] Turquoise
[X] Silver
[] Purple
[] Brown
[] Orange
[] Gray
[] Maroon
[X] Gold
[] Teal
[] I don't really care
[] I don't believe in favorite colors
Some things you've done...
[X] Ice skating
[] Hiking
[X] Kayaking
[] Rafting
[] Water skiing
[X] Camping
[] Horseback riding
[] Body/surfing and skim/wake boarding
[X] Snowboarding
[] Skiing
[] Skateboarding
[X] Cheerleading
[] Lacrosse
[X] Street hockey
[X] Gymnastics
[] Martial arts
[X] Baton twirling
[X] Swimming
[X] Canoeing
Your personality is sometimes...
[] Talkative
[] Shy
[X] Funny
[X] Serious
[X] Laid back
[X] Strict
[X] Hyper
[X] Weird
[X] Ditzy
[X] Sarcastic
[] Slow
You like listening to...
[] Pop
[] Country
[X] Christian
[] Classical
[X] Techno
[] Oldies
[] Opera
[] 80's
[] Disco
[] Rap
[] R&B
[X] Emo
[X] Classic rock
[X] Rock
[X] Punk
[X] Metal
[X] Screamo
[] Reggae
Your confessions...
[] I'm afraid of the quiet
[] I am really ticklish
[] I'm afraid of the dark
[] I've collected comic books
[X] I shut others out when I'm sad
[X] I read the newspaper
[X] I love Disney movies
[X] I am a sucker for eyes
[] I don't kill bugs
[X] I have "x"s in my screen name
[X] I bake
[] I have worn pajamas to class
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[] I am self-conscious
[X] I love to laugh
[] I drink alcohol
[] I've smoke/d or tried cigarettes
[] I can't swallow pills
[X] I bite my nails
[] I play computer games when I'm bored
[X] Gotten lost in the city
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[] Made out in an elevator
[] Been skydiving
[] Been bungee jumping
[X] Bitten someone
[X] Dressed up like a guy/girl
[] Egged a house/car
[] Smashed into a car
[] Been fired
[] Been skinny dipping
Have you ever...
[X] Danced in the rain
[X] Seen a shooting star
[] Proposed to anyone
[X] Gotten stitches
[] Eaten Sushi
[X] Gotten the chicken pox
[] Ridden in a taxi
[] Been on a cruise ship
[X] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[] Been on a Plane by yourself
[X] Had surgery
[X] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[X] Been on stage
[X] Peed somewhere other than a toilet
[X]Gotten a black eye
[X] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[X] Watched an entire baseball game
Do you like...
[] Old movies
[X] Vintage cars
[X] Blasting music in your car
[X] Foreign foods
[] Animals
[] Christmas time
[X] Donuts
[X] Coffee
[X] Tea
[X] Broadway shows
TWO OF EVERY KIND
Two Names You Go By Other Than Your Real Name
1. Jay-Man
2. hey you!
Two Things That Scare You
1. Being alone forever
2. Dogs
Two Daily Routines
1. check e-mail
2. Go to school
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. My "I talk to squirrels" t-shirt.
2. Blue Jeans