(no subject)
I have totally let myself DOWN.
I feel (seriously) like I have raped myself. Why did I let him do it to me? And he's not that innocent, either. He knew I didn't want to really and that I wasn't ready. But I told him to go ahead. And he did. Knowing I wasn't ready.
GODDAMN IT.
Well at least now I can say I'm not really a virgin any more.
He's pissed at me b/c I moved back in with Tamara.
Fuck him.
I am so confused.
I feel used.
Goddamn it.
godmotherfuckingdamnittomotherfuckinghellonmotherfuckingearth
god
damn
it
Playground schoolbell rings again, rain clouds come to play, again.... has noone told you she's not breathing? hello, I am your mind, giving you someone to talk to... hello?
I feel like I am waiting for something, like I'm holding my breath for some reason. I feel.... icky.
My throat is sore. Surely it can't be from...? I mean, that was DAYS ago, and my throat has only been hurting since like yesterday....
oh god.
oh my fucking god. (-dess) (... god...dess.)
I feel (seriously) like I have raped myself. Why did I let him do it to me? And he's not that innocent, either. He knew I didn't want to really and that I wasn't ready. But I told him to go ahead. And he did. Knowing I wasn't ready.
GODDAMN IT.
Well at least now I can say I'm not really a virgin any more.
He's pissed at me b/c I moved back in with Tamara.
Fuck him.
I am so confused.
I feel used.
Goddamn it.
godmotherfuckingdamnittomotherfuckinghellonmotherfuckingearth
god
damn
it
Playground schoolbell rings again, rain clouds come to play, again.... has noone told you she's not breathing? hello, I am your mind, giving you someone to talk to... hello?
I feel like I am waiting for something, like I'm holding my breath for some reason. I feel.... icky.
My throat is sore. Surely it can't be from...? I mean, that was DAYS ago, and my throat has only been hurting since like yesterday....
oh god.
oh my fucking god. (-dess) (... god...dess.)