(no subject)
I feel so isolated lately.
I'm having a fatigue flareup and there's so little I have the energy to do. my pain levels are all wonky. I have so few friends I can turn to and spend time with. I know I like my alone time, but I don't like being alone ALL the time. I've got so many worries right now and I think I'm starting to get depressed. I need someone to do stuff with and the energy to do stuff.
it's hard on me. I've never had a day in my life when my health was what could be considered normal. first the immune system issues hit me, then the very early onset chronic fatigue, the fibromyalgia developing after that... it just doesn't seem fair. some of what I've went thru because of those health issues... it just doesn't seem fair. sometimes I wonder if I have these problems because of some bad karma from a past life.
I just want to be a normal, healthy person; one that can enjoy having a full time job and going to college. one that can do so many things everyone else takes for granted. I just can't stand it sometimes. I'm not the kind of person who would chose to end my life, but sometimes, like right now, I can kind of understand how some people with similar conditions could chose that option.
I'm having a fatigue flareup and there's so little I have the energy to do. my pain levels are all wonky. I have so few friends I can turn to and spend time with. I know I like my alone time, but I don't like being alone ALL the time. I've got so many worries right now and I think I'm starting to get depressed. I need someone to do stuff with and the energy to do stuff.
it's hard on me. I've never had a day in my life when my health was what could be considered normal. first the immune system issues hit me, then the very early onset chronic fatigue, the fibromyalgia developing after that... it just doesn't seem fair. some of what I've went thru because of those health issues... it just doesn't seem fair. sometimes I wonder if I have these problems because of some bad karma from a past life.
I just want to be a normal, healthy person; one that can enjoy having a full time job and going to college. one that can do so many things everyone else takes for granted. I just can't stand it sometimes. I'm not the kind of person who would chose to end my life, but sometimes, like right now, I can kind of understand how some people with similar conditions could chose that option.