the poisoned apple
Hmm, so I just don't understand Julia at all. Not long ago we both decided (it was her idea and I later realized it was probably a good one), that we would just give eachother room and not really make an effort to be friends for the time being. Perhaps after a while we could give it a try again. It was fine for a while, we had some interaction, very limited and quick but good. Recently though she has been acting like she is really pissed off at me. She wont say anything to me unless I press her. for example, I sent her a message asking her if she had my resume still saved on her computer and if so, if she could send it to me. She ignored the message for three days, until after a class we had together, I had to confront her and ask her about it. She said, "I'll mail it to you". and started to walk off, and I tried to talk to her a little bit, just saying that i had just been wondering if she had it or not, she kind of ignored me, so I got a little tiffed and told her that I'd appreciate it if next time she maybe could let me know one way or the other since I had been waiting on getting the resume and she said, "oh sorry" then walked off. I mean, I wasn't trying to be mean to her or make her feel bad or anything. She just has a knack for making me feel like shit for no good reason. I don't understand what I did to make her angry or feel like she wants to pretend I don't exist.
Perhaps she took my recent post, that I was upset in and talked about people who had "written me off", to be directed at her. It really didn't apply to her and wasn't directed towards her but some very specific people, although the way she is acting now definately would lump her in with them.
she always told me that with her last boyfriend, jeremy, she always ended up apologizing to him when her feelings were hurt by something he did because it made him upset when she brought it up. I think her relationship with him affected the way she treats others way more than she knows. Throughout our relationship it was the same thing, only I would be the one apologizing to her when my feelings had been hurt because she had gotten upset and I felt bad for making her upset. She did the exact thing that she complained about jeremy doing.
Do I need to have her as a friend? No. I don't. but I'd like to eventually have her as one. if that isn't possible because of her and I not being able to be civil towards eachother, then that's the way it goes. If that happens, I'll regret having ever dated her. She was a really good friend before we dated. I wont be missing anything if I lose her as a friend now though, nothing that I haven't already lost.
Edit: Feb. 7th
So I just talked to her. she felt angry about my posts here and that I was only being nice to her face but through my posts was showing a different side. This is true through LJ's nature in that it's a journal and I write things in here that I wouldn't say to her, but she also took meanings from my writings that weren't there. so I guess we're ok again, but I get the feeling this is going to have a lasting effect on any interaction we have. well hopefully there can be curtesy between us. it's not just up to her, though, it's up to me also. We'll see.
Perhaps she took my recent post, that I was upset in and talked about people who had "written me off", to be directed at her. It really didn't apply to her and wasn't directed towards her but some very specific people, although the way she is acting now definately would lump her in with them.
she always told me that with her last boyfriend, jeremy, she always ended up apologizing to him when her feelings were hurt by something he did because it made him upset when she brought it up. I think her relationship with him affected the way she treats others way more than she knows. Throughout our relationship it was the same thing, only I would be the one apologizing to her when my feelings had been hurt because she had gotten upset and I felt bad for making her upset. She did the exact thing that she complained about jeremy doing.
Do I need to have her as a friend? No. I don't. but I'd like to eventually have her as one. if that isn't possible because of her and I not being able to be civil towards eachother, then that's the way it goes. If that happens, I'll regret having ever dated her. She was a really good friend before we dated. I wont be missing anything if I lose her as a friend now though, nothing that I haven't already lost.
Edit: Feb. 7th
So I just talked to her. she felt angry about my posts here and that I was only being nice to her face but through my posts was showing a different side. This is true through LJ's nature in that it's a journal and I write things in here that I wouldn't say to her, but she also took meanings from my writings that weren't there. so I guess we're ok again, but I get the feeling this is going to have a lasting effect on any interaction we have. well hopefully there can be curtesy between us. it's not just up to her, though, it's up to me also. We'll see.