Adventures in Online Dating, Episode 3: First Match-Made Date
First Match-Made Date! Hey, I went on my first date this weekend. And I didn't get murdered, maimed, or manhandled, so that's a plus. This guy (I'll just call him D, but get your mind out of the gutter) had messaged me a few days after I joined, and 1) he actually read my profile and commented appropriately, and 2) appeared to have a sense of humor. So we chatted for two weeks and then got together for dinner on Sunday, right in the midst of World Cup madness.
I actually kind of hate meeting new people. I've always had a certain amount of social anxiety in these sorts of situations (but give me a microphone and throw me in front of a fitness class of 50 strangers and I'm totally fine). I think it's because I just hate having to behave so well. There's a certain amount of tension in my body as I assess the general situation. Do I need to eat slower? Do I have to sit up straight? Can I curse? Are they gonna understand my Doctor Who joke? Do I have to keep smiling the whole time so I don't look bitchy? OH GOD MY THIGHS ARE SWEATING, KILL ME.
Luckily the date went well. After the initial awkwardness -- and the awkward location, since we were sitting outside (in the humidity) at a bar counter while everyone else in the restaurant periodically screamed at the TV -- I relaxed a bit. He was very nice, and pretty easy to talk to. I ate fish tacos and made a mess of myself. I freely admitted my ignorance of beer. I spoke at length about installing a new toilet in my house. I took my contact lenses out, at the table, when it got late. None of these things seemed to strike him as too bizarre. We met at 6 p.m. and finally left at 10:30 when they were actually shutting the bar down.
So, overall, that's a win. And we have tentative plans to go out again this weekend. But now I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with Match. I've never been the type of person to go on multiple dates with multiple people at any given time. It just seems weird. Do I keep contacting and/or responding to other people? Do I hold off on that until I see if this goes anywhere? No one else is striking me as particularly interesting right now, but I also haven't spent a huge amount of time on Match searching -- I get the daily emails, and I glance through them and read a few profiles, but that's about it.
Lulz of the Week:
As predicted, things have calmed down a bit since I am no longer the freshest slab of meat thrown out on the sidewalk. However, I am still getting several messages a day. And Match helpfully summarizes these for me:
I'm having a good week! Well, how about that. So if no one responds to you at all, do you get a sad-faced email that says "Bummer, better luck next week?"
As it said, I got four emails in the past week, which include these:
seriously, want to get a drink some time?
This came from a guy who had emailed me previously, and all he said was "I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOUR PROFILE." I had glanced through his and decided to put him in the "no" category because his bio didn't make much sense. So I never responded, and he waits and week and then sends that. It's not the weirdest one I've gotten, but I find it amusing that he has not actually tried to initiate any sort of conversation -- he just wants to meet. Seriously, dude. Put forth some effort.
You are beautiful :-). Dinner, movies, play, outdoors or road trip would be fun or sports game. I'm on Facebook too. Love to chat and get together. T*** K*****. 502*******
So I added the asterisks. Out of nowhere, this guy gave me his name and phone number. Bold move. How do you know I'm not a psycho? Also, I'm gonna say 'no' to a road trip with a guy I've never met before.
That being said, I think that generally, guys on Match are much bolder when it comes to wanting to meet. There's the lure of potentially getting laid, sure, but they also don't have the same fears that females do (i.e., that the guy we're meeting is going to rob/rape/kill us). It absolutely sucks that I feel like I have to be so cautious (I told D, for instance, that I would not give him my number until after we met, even though we'd been emailing back and forth each day for two weeks). But the state of the world we live in is for another rant, another time. In the meantime, bro, if there are no threads of trust spun between us, then no, we are not gonna meet up.
Until next time!
I actually kind of hate meeting new people. I've always had a certain amount of social anxiety in these sorts of situations (but give me a microphone and throw me in front of a fitness class of 50 strangers and I'm totally fine). I think it's because I just hate having to behave so well. There's a certain amount of tension in my body as I assess the general situation. Do I need to eat slower? Do I have to sit up straight? Can I curse? Are they gonna understand my Doctor Who joke? Do I have to keep smiling the whole time so I don't look bitchy? OH GOD MY THIGHS ARE SWEATING, KILL ME.
Luckily the date went well. After the initial awkwardness -- and the awkward location, since we were sitting outside (in the humidity) at a bar counter while everyone else in the restaurant periodically screamed at the TV -- I relaxed a bit. He was very nice, and pretty easy to talk to. I ate fish tacos and made a mess of myself. I freely admitted my ignorance of beer. I spoke at length about installing a new toilet in my house. I took my contact lenses out, at the table, when it got late. None of these things seemed to strike him as too bizarre. We met at 6 p.m. and finally left at 10:30 when they were actually shutting the bar down.
So, overall, that's a win. And we have tentative plans to go out again this weekend. But now I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with Match. I've never been the type of person to go on multiple dates with multiple people at any given time. It just seems weird. Do I keep contacting and/or responding to other people? Do I hold off on that until I see if this goes anywhere? No one else is striking me as particularly interesting right now, but I also haven't spent a huge amount of time on Match searching -- I get the daily emails, and I glance through them and read a few profiles, but that's about it.
Lulz of the Week:
As predicted, things have calmed down a bit since I am no longer the freshest slab of meat thrown out on the sidewalk. However, I am still getting several messages a day. And Match helpfully summarizes these for me:
I'm having a good week! Well, how about that. So if no one responds to you at all, do you get a sad-faced email that says "Bummer, better luck next week?"
As it said, I got four emails in the past week, which include these:
seriously, want to get a drink some time?
This came from a guy who had emailed me previously, and all he said was "I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOUR PROFILE." I had glanced through his and decided to put him in the "no" category because his bio didn't make much sense. So I never responded, and he waits and week and then sends that. It's not the weirdest one I've gotten, but I find it amusing that he has not actually tried to initiate any sort of conversation -- he just wants to meet. Seriously, dude. Put forth some effort.
You are beautiful :-). Dinner, movies, play, outdoors or road trip would be fun or sports game. I'm on Facebook too. Love to chat and get together. T*** K*****. 502*******
So I added the asterisks. Out of nowhere, this guy gave me his name and phone number. Bold move. How do you know I'm not a psycho? Also, I'm gonna say 'no' to a road trip with a guy I've never met before.
That being said, I think that generally, guys on Match are much bolder when it comes to wanting to meet. There's the lure of potentially getting laid, sure, but they also don't have the same fears that females do (i.e., that the guy we're meeting is going to rob/rape/kill us). It absolutely sucks that I feel like I have to be so cautious (I told D, for instance, that I would not give him my number until after we met, even though we'd been emailing back and forth each day for two weeks). But the state of the world we live in is for another rant, another time. In the meantime, bro, if there are no threads of trust spun between us, then no, we are not gonna meet up.
Until next time!