(no subject)
First of all, thanks so much to you all for your kind words and condolences. It means the world to me, especially now.
For the past couple days i've heard a lot of advice, but the one most prominent is that I need to go be with friends. It may seem kinda sad, but I don't really have that many friends anymore. They either moved away or we lost touch over the years. In my life i never really got close to many people. In school I had lots of aquaintences, but very few who I felt I could actually call a friend. Until I met Ben, I was alone most of the time. Which is probably a minor reason why we broke up; in the way of companionship, he was all I had. And that's too much pressure to put on someone. I didn't realize it then, because he didn't seem to mind, but I certainly know now.
It's not very easy for me to just go and meet people. I don't get out enough for one thing. So, as I stated in my last entry, I'm trying to rebuild those old freindship bridges. It's not easy, since I feel bad about only doing it now. Why couldn't I have done it years ago? I have no idea.
I like being around people, but in school no one really talked to me, so I think it's put it in my head that no one wanted me around. And so I wasn't around, and haven't been for a long time. I'll try and salvage what I can, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up to high...
For the past couple days i've heard a lot of advice, but the one most prominent is that I need to go be with friends. It may seem kinda sad, but I don't really have that many friends anymore. They either moved away or we lost touch over the years. In my life i never really got close to many people. In school I had lots of aquaintences, but very few who I felt I could actually call a friend. Until I met Ben, I was alone most of the time. Which is probably a minor reason why we broke up; in the way of companionship, he was all I had. And that's too much pressure to put on someone. I didn't realize it then, because he didn't seem to mind, but I certainly know now.
It's not very easy for me to just go and meet people. I don't get out enough for one thing. So, as I stated in my last entry, I'm trying to rebuild those old freindship bridges. It's not easy, since I feel bad about only doing it now. Why couldn't I have done it years ago? I have no idea.
I like being around people, but in school no one really talked to me, so I think it's put it in my head that no one wanted me around. And so I wasn't around, and haven't been for a long time. I'll try and salvage what I can, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up to high...