(no subject)
dear flist, I would like your opinion on this book.
I started reading and then about forty pages I finally reached my limit of LOLNO and put it down. And now I wonder if maybe this is overreaction - maybe this is just fantasy convention I have missed? (I have read tons of children's and young adult fantasy but very little adult fantasy).
From Ian Irvine's A Shadow on the Glass. With the most relevant examples.
Page 1:
It was the final night of the Graduation Telling, when the masters and students of the College of the Histories at Chanthed told the Great Tales that were the very essence of human live on Santhenar. To Llian had fallen the honour and the peril of telling the greatest tale of all - the Tale of the Forbidding. The tale of Shuthdar, the genius who made the golden flute but could not bear to give it up; who had changed the Three Worlds forever.
The telling was perilous because Llian was from an outcast race, the Zain, a scholarly people whose curiosity had led them into a treacherous alliance in ancient times. Though their subsequent decimation and exile was long ago, the Zain were still thought ill of. No Zain had been honoured with a Graduation Telling in five hundred years, save Llian, and that was a curious affair in itself.
So, his tale must best them all, students and masters too. Succeed and he would graduate master chronicler, a rare honour. No one had worked harder or agonised more to make this tale. But even a perfect telling would bring him as many enemies as admirers. Llian could sense them, willing him to fail. Well, let them try. No one knew what he knew. No one had ever told the tale this way before.
The next page starts in on his telling, and it basically thwaps you with six or seven different names - the worlds and their peoples and the smith's name. Confusing. But there are sentences that make me cringe: "the Zain were still thought ill of". (I liked "that was a curious affair in itself".) And the names - Santhenar, Llian, Chanthed, Shuthdar - what's with all the fricatives thrown together?!
Page 20.
Llian scratched himself, inspecting the damage of the previous night in a cracked mirror. His brown eyes were bloodshot and bleary, and his head throbbed. Llian might have been handsome, save that his mouth was too wide and his chin lopsided, but when he smiled it lit up his whole face. He was of middle height and slimly built, though with strong shoulders. Llian was likeable and charming, though occasionally a little full of himself. Sometimes because of his heritage, he tried too hard. His voice was soft and rich and mellow, touched with lights and shadows, utterly enchanting. Friends, enemies; all loved his voice. As did he.
This is where I felt the voice of the author intruding. "Llian might have been handsome [...] when he smiled it lit up his whole face" (cliched last bit too). "Slimly"? And the way that he keeps starting his sentences with Llian - his - Llian - he - Llian - starts to sound clunky. But I liked the voice bit. This was the frustrating bit - there was some really bad sentences (including "Sometimes...he tried too hard." OH REALLY? Thanks for telling me all this!) and then there were good things sandwiched randomly throughout.
Every single character gets an infodump like this. There's actually a great, though gross, description of the head of the college. It reminded me of the description Alyona Ivanovna, except with a fixation on describing hair.
Page 45
"So!" Maigraith said coldly. "Honour and duty mean nothing to you. I had thought differently. Well, you have no choice. I don't know of anyone else"
"What you ask is out of proportion to the service you rendered me," Karan said desperately. "Name another task and I will render it faithfully, no matter what it takes."
"That's what you said before, as I recall."
"But all it took was silver, and that I have repaid. You ask me to risk my life"
"All it took was silver!" I saved your life. I nursed you back form the grave at the risk of the fever. I carried you all the way to Thrukad. I put coin in your pocket and made sure you were escorted safely home. You paid back the least of the debt."
Karan felt trapped! She had not thought that her promise would be so taken advantage of. "I have to go to Chanthed at the end of autumn," she said, trying everything she could think of.
(Magraith meets Karan [who is one of the protagonists, I believe] while Karan is extremely poor and sliding farther into poverty. Upon accidentally addressing Karan as "churl", Karan gets angry, tells Magraith she's a free woman, and asks her to pay the debt of ten silver coins. Magraith does, and then when Karan is sick, Magraith tries to nurse her, then when that fails, brings her to Magraith's liege lord, who Magraith describes as 'a person she can't please'.)
What made the eyeroll was "Karan felt trapped!"
That's when I laughed and slammed the book shut.
What do you think? I am really not inclined to read more...it sounds like it will be a lot more of this. Some parts are good, and then there are patches of oddly modern speech ("he felt let down" in one memorable bit) and - well!
Is this just convention? Am I missing something?
Crosspost: http://silverflight8.dreamwidth.org/106878.html.
I started reading and then about forty pages I finally reached my limit of LOLNO and put it down. And now I wonder if maybe this is overreaction - maybe this is just fantasy convention I have missed? (I have read tons of children's and young adult fantasy but very little adult fantasy).
From Ian Irvine's A Shadow on the Glass. With the most relevant examples.
Page 1:
It was the final night of the Graduation Telling, when the masters and students of the College of the Histories at Chanthed told the Great Tales that were the very essence of human live on Santhenar. To Llian had fallen the honour and the peril of telling the greatest tale of all - the Tale of the Forbidding. The tale of Shuthdar, the genius who made the golden flute but could not bear to give it up; who had changed the Three Worlds forever.
The telling was perilous because Llian was from an outcast race, the Zain, a scholarly people whose curiosity had led them into a treacherous alliance in ancient times. Though their subsequent decimation and exile was long ago, the Zain were still thought ill of. No Zain had been honoured with a Graduation Telling in five hundred years, save Llian, and that was a curious affair in itself.
So, his tale must best them all, students and masters too. Succeed and he would graduate master chronicler, a rare honour. No one had worked harder or agonised more to make this tale. But even a perfect telling would bring him as many enemies as admirers. Llian could sense them, willing him to fail. Well, let them try. No one knew what he knew. No one had ever told the tale this way before.
The next page starts in on his telling, and it basically thwaps you with six or seven different names - the worlds and their peoples and the smith's name. Confusing. But there are sentences that make me cringe: "the Zain were still thought ill of". (I liked "that was a curious affair in itself".) And the names - Santhenar, Llian, Chanthed, Shuthdar - what's with all the fricatives thrown together?!
Page 20.
Llian scratched himself, inspecting the damage of the previous night in a cracked mirror. His brown eyes were bloodshot and bleary, and his head throbbed. Llian might have been handsome, save that his mouth was too wide and his chin lopsided, but when he smiled it lit up his whole face. He was of middle height and slimly built, though with strong shoulders. Llian was likeable and charming, though occasionally a little full of himself. Sometimes because of his heritage, he tried too hard. His voice was soft and rich and mellow, touched with lights and shadows, utterly enchanting. Friends, enemies; all loved his voice. As did he.
This is where I felt the voice of the author intruding. "Llian might have been handsome [...] when he smiled it lit up his whole face" (cliched last bit too). "Slimly"? And the way that he keeps starting his sentences with Llian - his - Llian - he - Llian - starts to sound clunky. But I liked the voice bit. This was the frustrating bit - there was some really bad sentences (including "Sometimes...he tried too hard." OH REALLY? Thanks for telling me all this!) and then there were good things sandwiched randomly throughout.
Every single character gets an infodump like this. There's actually a great, though gross, description of the head of the college. It reminded me of the description Alyona Ivanovna, except with a fixation on describing hair.
Page 45
"So!" Maigraith said coldly. "Honour and duty mean nothing to you. I had thought differently. Well, you have no choice. I don't know of anyone else"
"What you ask is out of proportion to the service you rendered me," Karan said desperately. "Name another task and I will render it faithfully, no matter what it takes."
"That's what you said before, as I recall."
"But all it took was silver, and that I have repaid. You ask me to risk my life"
"All it took was silver!" I saved your life. I nursed you back form the grave at the risk of the fever. I carried you all the way to Thrukad. I put coin in your pocket and made sure you were escorted safely home. You paid back the least of the debt."
Karan felt trapped! She had not thought that her promise would be so taken advantage of. "I have to go to Chanthed at the end of autumn," she said, trying everything she could think of.
(Magraith meets Karan [who is one of the protagonists, I believe] while Karan is extremely poor and sliding farther into poverty. Upon accidentally addressing Karan as "churl", Karan gets angry, tells Magraith she's a free woman, and asks her to pay the debt of ten silver coins. Magraith does, and then when Karan is sick, Magraith tries to nurse her, then when that fails, brings her to Magraith's liege lord, who Magraith describes as 'a person she can't please'.)
What made the eyeroll was "Karan felt trapped!"
That's when I laughed and slammed the book shut.
What do you think? I am really not inclined to read more...it sounds like it will be a lot more of this. Some parts are good, and then there are patches of oddly modern speech ("he felt let down" in one memorable bit) and - well!
Is this just convention? Am I missing something?
Crosspost: http://silverflight8.dreamwidth.org/106878.html.