I already forgot who I stole this from

[silverbullets89]

*If I were a month, I’d be October.
*If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday.
*If I were a time of day, I’d be 10 pm.
*If I were a planet, I’d be Jupiter.
*If I were a sea animal, I’d be the Loch Ness Monster.
*If I were a direction, I’d be sideways.
*If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a coffee table.
*If I were a historical figure, I’d be your mom.
*If I were a liquid, I’d be whiskey.
*If I were a gemstone, I’d be ruby.
*If I were a tree, I’d be a nice tree. (??)
*If I were a tool, I’d be a spirit level.
*If I were a flower, I’d be marijuana! Duh.
*If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a tropical storm.
*If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a didgeridoo.
*If I were a color, I’d be grey.
*If I were an emotion, I’d be anxiety.
*If I were a fruit, I’d be a cranberry.
*If I were a sound, I’d be the bubbling of a bong.
*If I were an element, I’d be earth.
*If I were a car, I’d be a ferrari with a flat tire.
*If I were a food, I’d be a pepper.
*If I were a place, I’d be the woods.
*If I were a material, I’d be leather.
*If I were a taste, I’d be sweet and spicy.
*If I were a scent, I’d be weed.
*If I were an object, I’d be a book.
*If I were a body part, I'd be eyes.
*If I were a facial expression, I’d be curious.
*If I were a song, I’d be "Mother Mother" by Tracy Bonham. At least currently.
*If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be ox blood doc martens.