Welcome to the New Age
I haven't posted in almost 14 months. Crazy. In keeping with the trend, I'll summarize 2013.
January -The weather was freaking terrible this whole month. Snowed three or four times and I had to commute 40 minutes to Mason. Just awful and nerve wracking considering I was still weary behind the wheel after my accident. I was able to catch up with friends in the very beginning of the month before heading back to Cinci (Sarah and various other Butler acquaintances, Ben, Steve). All were very happy and proud of me for joining the Navy. A few days later, I got a call from my recruiter while at work. The conversation went something like this:
Recruiter: What are you doing in March?
Me: Uhh. Working?
Recruiter: No. You're going to OCS.
Me: What??! Really, holy cow.
I think that was a Thursday. I pulled Jimmy out into the hallway the next day and gave him my two weeks notice. He was pretty bummed about it. I kind of was too. He's a great guy and I really liked working for him. Before I left the company, I bought Ashley a kick ass baby shower gift, complete with an adorable box. She cried a little. Everyone at the lab was really happy for me and curious about what I would be doing. Don, the big boss, was even excited for me. I left on Thursday the 24th. Krissie baked me a cake and we had a little party. Even had to give a somewhat mushy speech. I miss those guys.
The next day, I visited Xavier to kind of say goodbye to Cincinnati. I had lunch with Dr. Engle and Kara. Got up with Dr. McIntosh and saw Dr. Farnsworth. I could tell they were proud even though I wasn't on the path they'd foreseen for me. Then, I sat down in front of Coffee Emporium in Gallagher, bought a latte and a cookie and started texting underclassmen. Like always, they flocked to me. I sat and talked with Rose, Katie, Maria and Alex forever. It was a great memory. That night, I had a going away dinner thing at The Pub. Michael, Rachel, Brenna, Tommy and Jackie came. Dinner was delicious and expensive. I enjoyed hearing about grad school from Michael and Mary. It was wonderful to see the enthusiasm on their faces after having been able to realize their dreams through all the hard work. The group dispersed, boiling down to just me, Mary and Jackie. We went to Dana's and Murphy's. Mary and I had the drunk munchies so we grabbed a frozen pizza from CVS on our way back to my house. We still laugh about that. Mary helped my parents move me out the next day.
February - I was expected in Rhode Island on February 17th. I had three weeks to prepare myself mentally, polish myself physically and buy a ton of stuff. Honestly, most of it is a blur. I have legitimate gaps in my memory for that time period. Stuff is just gone. I remembered going with my friends and getting drunk a few times, watching the Beyonce black out Super Bowl, spending time with my parents, buying a pair of hideous but comfortable running shoes. It all felt really out of body. I even cut my hair short, really, really, really short to make it more manageable at OCS.
Before I knew it, I was hugging my parents goodbye at the airport, my trusty North Face on my back. My mom, as she usually does, waited til I left to start bawling. I remember willing myself not to look back at them as I walked toward the security checkpoint. Paid $100 for a cab ride with an excessively friendly and history wise cabbie from Providence to Newport. Got a nice room at the Chalet on base. I met up with a bunch of guys from Airwarriors at the Tokyo House, a hibachi place, and stupidly passed on a beer. I was the only girl there and I sensed the trend. We were all friendly but twitchy. I hitched a ride back with Eder and Truehart, good guys although they went to C company.
I wore my black stretchy jacket, a pair of Sperry's, my long sleeve blue Xavier shirt and my comfiest jeans the next day. I knew everything was going to get turned upside down. It snowed like hell that morning, thankfully for the last time that winter.
February - May - I won't recap OCS as most of the important stuff is seared into my memory. I'll just say that I've never been so cold, so tired or so hungry. Or so happy to see a piece of snail mail. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be though. I came out of it with a few good friends who help me remember all the funny stuff.
I went home for four days and then hauled all my uniforms and most of my clothes to Pensacola, arriving on May 15th. Got myself a roommate and nice apartment near the beach. Most everything until about September is a blur. I had some trouble in IFS but figured it out in the end. API was easier for me than some people considering I studied a ridiculous amount in college. I demolished the two hardest exams. Primary (starting in Septemeber) has been the most fun. I love pulling G's, going upside down, doing crazy stuff. I like navigating. I want jets like I want to keep breathing.
Somewhere between IFS and API, I started hanging out with Eric, Chris and Brett every Saturday. We got close real quick. Brett is like my brother and he treats me like a sister. Doesn't hesitate to pick on me but makes sure I'm taken care of. Chris and I can be nerdy together. We sometimes rub each other the wrong way, just because we're the most alike. He's a little dark too. The other two are just so light and happy. Eric is calm, so calm he soothes my restlessness. If I'm nervous about something, all it really takes is a quiet word from him and I'm good. We spent a lot of time together at the beginning of Primary, like every day. Literally. So, I got to see a lot of him. He also makes sure I'm taken care of but he doesn't hesitate to kick my butt at COD. We watch The Walking Dead together (because I'm kind of a coward) and I think he can read my face better than the other two. He's my favorite, secretly or not. The other two might have figured it out. Chris and Eric's apartment is my favorite place in Pensacola.
The four of us play video games, mock each other's taste in beer and I think, just take solace in each other. Superficially, it looks a lot like my relationships with the neighborhood boys as a little girl. But, these are genuinely good men. I'm their friend and equal.
I met all of them at OCS but spent the most time there with Stones. What terrifies me more than anything right now is that we'll be separated soon. Stones has a family so he'll probably go big wing. Chris hates the idea of the boat so he will too. Eric wants jets like me but he felt miserably airsick during contacts. He doesn't want to put himself through that feeling terrible all the time. So, if I get jets, I could be here all alone. It's scary. I'm a much happier person than I've ever been. But, I just don't make friends easily. Not my personality.
I do have some things that keep me positive about being alone though. Because of Eric and Brett, I started going to church again when I got down here. While I find it odd that it took being REALLY happy for the first time in forever to get me back there, I'm glad it happened this way. I've been doing a lot of reading and I'm starting to feel the pull. It was me that was keeping me away from God. I turned away from Him on my own, because I kept myself in a relationship that drowned me. Slowly poisoned me really. Also, I've come to know God as pure love, not the angry father figure I was raised to believe in. So, if the guys leave, I'll turn to my church family for fully.
Also, if all three of them leave, I'm getting a puppy. I was talking to Mom and Dad the other day. They told me they had a conversation about having to pick up their granddog from the airport in the near future. I think they understand how important having a dog is to me. I'm very grateful.
Eric and Megan got married in June! I got to be there and killed my MOH speech. The ceremony actually got rained out and we had to go to our backup. It was funny and wonderful and so perfect for them. What a happy day. I bought them a set of knives so Megan could not so discreetly get rid of Knife Man.
So, this haven't been much of a month to month summary. I'm honestly just so happy that it's hard to pin the events down to months. Also, being in Florida, where it's beautiful, warm and sunny all the time doesn't help you keep track of time. At all.
The title of this post is a line from Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. I had the song on a playlist I made for the trip to Newport. It turned out to be my theme song for the year.
I'm waking up. I feel it in my bones.