Crying As A Parent
There have been some weird changes in my life as a result of parenthood--but one of the strangest has to be the weird things that make me cry. I'm one of those weird people who can seem as hard as nails--I'm very practical, and a realist. Sometimes, that makes it look like I am stone cold. In reality, I cry at the drop of a hat. Cards, songs, books, movies, all of that just has me weeping so easily. Brian, is the exact opposite. People assume because he's not a "manly man" as they say that he must also be rather soft hearted. They see the soft, sweet temperament and go, "bet he gets sappy over Christmas songs on the radio!" In reality, the man is a stone. I swear to God, things that have me absolutely bawling might elicit a frown and some "welling up" as he claims he does when he's very emotionally moved by outside things.
But, parenthood has a way of playing merry havoc with your personality.
Three things have made us get tears in our eyes that don't really seem the kind of thing you cry about:
1. While I was pregnant, Brian heard a commercial on the radio when he was driving to work one day. The commercial was about getting people to donate things for those in foster care, and the line that made him well up while he was driving was that "Pajamas are like a hug goodnight." It just made him want to cry. I did cry when he described it, because it was so sad to me to think about a child whose only form of love and comfort is potentially coming from a donated pajama set from a stranger.
2. I related to Brian an adorable story I read online about a couple of parents who have a young child (5 or 6, I can't remember now) who loves Dr. Who. They got him one of the sonic screwdrivers you can buy off of sites like Amazon, and one day while he was out, he lost it. He wasn't aware that he lost it--most likely just left it somewhere he meant to come back to and then didn't--but his parents figured it out when they were unpacking from the day that evening. So, being quick thinkers, they penned a note "from the Doctor" about how he needed to borrow the screwdriver and he'll return it soon. They ordered a new screwdriver online, and when it arrived, they penned another note saying thanks, and put it outside his door. The mom then played a YouTube video of the sound the Tardis makes very, very loud, which woke the boy up. He came outside and saw the note and screwdriver, and now he keeps mentioning it to his parents about how awesome it was and how great The Doctor is. We were both teary eyed in the middle of Barnes and Noble while I related the story. Why? It's hard to say. It's just an example of when parents do something sort of lovely for their child, even though it's sort of like Santa Claus and other lies.
3. Just a few minutes ago, after Freya had finished nursing (completely unconscious at this point), and Brian went to pick her up to transition her to the swing for the night, and she opened only one side of her mouth, and made the most adorable mewling protest noise in the world. It was so cute, we both got tears in our eyes from it.
I swear, our sappiness grows daily. Another entry on the changes of parenthood would be one about how other emotions are different after you become a parent, like rage and fear. I don't know that I have ever had such righteous, invigorating rage as a regular person as I have had as a parent. It's like I've been injected with foreign agents who have fucked with my personality controls. Some of it is fine, but other parts kind of make me go, "what the fuck brain this is insanity." But, there you go.
But, parenthood has a way of playing merry havoc with your personality.
Three things have made us get tears in our eyes that don't really seem the kind of thing you cry about:
1. While I was pregnant, Brian heard a commercial on the radio when he was driving to work one day. The commercial was about getting people to donate things for those in foster care, and the line that made him well up while he was driving was that "Pajamas are like a hug goodnight." It just made him want to cry. I did cry when he described it, because it was so sad to me to think about a child whose only form of love and comfort is potentially coming from a donated pajama set from a stranger.
2. I related to Brian an adorable story I read online about a couple of parents who have a young child (5 or 6, I can't remember now) who loves Dr. Who. They got him one of the sonic screwdrivers you can buy off of sites like Amazon, and one day while he was out, he lost it. He wasn't aware that he lost it--most likely just left it somewhere he meant to come back to and then didn't--but his parents figured it out when they were unpacking from the day that evening. So, being quick thinkers, they penned a note "from the Doctor" about how he needed to borrow the screwdriver and he'll return it soon. They ordered a new screwdriver online, and when it arrived, they penned another note saying thanks, and put it outside his door. The mom then played a YouTube video of the sound the Tardis makes very, very loud, which woke the boy up. He came outside and saw the note and screwdriver, and now he keeps mentioning it to his parents about how awesome it was and how great The Doctor is. We were both teary eyed in the middle of Barnes and Noble while I related the story. Why? It's hard to say. It's just an example of when parents do something sort of lovely for their child, even though it's sort of like Santa Claus and other lies.
3. Just a few minutes ago, after Freya had finished nursing (completely unconscious at this point), and Brian went to pick her up to transition her to the swing for the night, and she opened only one side of her mouth, and made the most adorable mewling protest noise in the world. It was so cute, we both got tears in our eyes from it.
I swear, our sappiness grows daily. Another entry on the changes of parenthood would be one about how other emotions are different after you become a parent, like rage and fear. I don't know that I have ever had such righteous, invigorating rage as a regular person as I have had as a parent. It's like I've been injected with foreign agents who have fucked with my personality controls. Some of it is fine, but other parts kind of make me go, "what the fuck brain this is insanity." But, there you go.