Boston
I didn't want to write an entry about it. Honestly, I just don't know what I could say that isn't already being said, or that can't be expressed simply by a single Facebook status update.
Except that the more I learn, the more my horror grows. I learned, for instance, that Scott's brother and his wife, Bob and Brenda, were at ground zero where the first bomb went off just an hour before it exploded. They were there for a friend running in the race, who'd finished, and they had left their place to meet up with the friend and go celebrate. If that friend had been slower...who knows. Then, Brian's sister Emily has a boyfriend who is from Boston, and had entertained ideas about going back for the marathon. He chose not to, but his friend was there, and watched the explosions happen. He was, luckily, unharmed.
Those two connections, although somewhat faint, make this feel even more shockingly real than it did when I first heard about it. I knew something was wrong thanks to Facebook--I started seeing updates about Boston, and I immediately went to check my news sources. I watched the early footage, and I was in absolutely sobbing tears (Freya wondered what was going on). The sounds of everyone screaming was honestly something I never, ever want to hear again. It was worse than any film or TV show I've ever seen that had a scene of a crowd yelling. No one has ever caught the sheer terror I heard in those voices in any fake reenactment.
The inspiring part was watching how even the instant the first bomb went off there were already people, almost all in uniform, running TOWARD the explosion. I really am in awe of the bravery and heroism of those people who went to help immediately. Watching as they systematically dismantled the barrier between the runners and the crowd, mostly without speaking at all to each other, was amazing. So single minded, aiming to help. The picture of the man leaning over the woman on the ground is heartbreaking.
Learning that one of the confirmed dead was an 8-year-old boy just drove a spike into my heart. I weep for the other two who are known dead, but the child...it's just too much. To know that some of those who lost limbs from the explosion are children as well is painful to me in a way I can't describe. Even hearing about the adults, approximately 25-35 was the last count, who lost a limb is just indescribable. I can't comprehend it. Literally, my brain just won't let me feel the full impact of that, knowing that so many people barely escaped with their lives, and that those lives have been forever, irreparably damaged...
For what? What "crime" did they commit? Watching a race?
I cannot comprehend the mind of the person who did this. I honestly just cannot cope with it. I can intellectually understand murder when it's someone who has wronged you, although honestly I think the only one I can emotionally understand is if someone threatened a child, especially mine. That, at least, makes a certain twisted sense. But, this senseless murder of random strangers doesn't make any sense. They did NOTHING. They just were living, and breathing. Now...
The weirdest thing is that living in a larger city means that when something like this happens, the police cannot help but react on the offchance that someone else decides to try something like this as well. I can't forget how a few years ago, when we were new here, someone tried to set off a bomb at the annual Christmas Tree lighting. The FBI caught him and dismantled the bomb before anything happened, but it's left this knowledge in the back of my mind. How easily so many lives could have been destroyed then.
Brian is taking public transit again, because he was in another accident. I'm tired of worrying that he'll get into a serious one, because of how stupid people drive here. But, a part of me is also worried that he could get blown up because he takes a crowded train. It's terrifying, living with that knowledge. That he could become one of "such-and-such killed, and so-many wounded" and he's just a number to the media, but to me, he's everything. We go to a mall every Saturday. That child killed could be mine. It's enough sometimes that it's overwhelming, and the fear is painful. The act of going out, knowing what might happen, is sometimes followed by an inner struggle with What If This Is The Time Someone Decides To Bomb Where We Are.
Not because we've done anything. Not because we've hurt anyone. Just because we happen to be there.
I am not usually one for the death penalty, but I want it for whoever was behind these bombs. A part of me sincerely hopes that they didn't follow the trend of the recent shootings and kill themselves, because I want them publicly executed. I am still hoping that the man who shot up the theater in Colorado will end up getting lethal injection. I want these people DEAD. And not just dead, but KILLED BY THE STATE. I want it projected loud and clear to someone planning something like this that you will die. You are a villain, and you are wrong, and you deserve to have us all take a hand and throw a stone. Honestly, a part of me is even angry enough that I wish we did "savage" capital punishments--crowd murder basically, like stoning. I wish that the survivors of today could literally beat to death the man or woman (or people) who did this.
Because the damage is more than the lives gone, and the physical damage inflicted. This another emotional wound that says to everyone "It's not safe. We're not safe. Your children are not safe. No where is safe." And for that, I really cannot forgive whoever did this.
Except that the more I learn, the more my horror grows. I learned, for instance, that Scott's brother and his wife, Bob and Brenda, were at ground zero where the first bomb went off just an hour before it exploded. They were there for a friend running in the race, who'd finished, and they had left their place to meet up with the friend and go celebrate. If that friend had been slower...who knows. Then, Brian's sister Emily has a boyfriend who is from Boston, and had entertained ideas about going back for the marathon. He chose not to, but his friend was there, and watched the explosions happen. He was, luckily, unharmed.
Those two connections, although somewhat faint, make this feel even more shockingly real than it did when I first heard about it. I knew something was wrong thanks to Facebook--I started seeing updates about Boston, and I immediately went to check my news sources. I watched the early footage, and I was in absolutely sobbing tears (Freya wondered what was going on). The sounds of everyone screaming was honestly something I never, ever want to hear again. It was worse than any film or TV show I've ever seen that had a scene of a crowd yelling. No one has ever caught the sheer terror I heard in those voices in any fake reenactment.
The inspiring part was watching how even the instant the first bomb went off there were already people, almost all in uniform, running TOWARD the explosion. I really am in awe of the bravery and heroism of those people who went to help immediately. Watching as they systematically dismantled the barrier between the runners and the crowd, mostly without speaking at all to each other, was amazing. So single minded, aiming to help. The picture of the man leaning over the woman on the ground is heartbreaking.
Learning that one of the confirmed dead was an 8-year-old boy just drove a spike into my heart. I weep for the other two who are known dead, but the child...it's just too much. To know that some of those who lost limbs from the explosion are children as well is painful to me in a way I can't describe. Even hearing about the adults, approximately 25-35 was the last count, who lost a limb is just indescribable. I can't comprehend it. Literally, my brain just won't let me feel the full impact of that, knowing that so many people barely escaped with their lives, and that those lives have been forever, irreparably damaged...
For what? What "crime" did they commit? Watching a race?
I cannot comprehend the mind of the person who did this. I honestly just cannot cope with it. I can intellectually understand murder when it's someone who has wronged you, although honestly I think the only one I can emotionally understand is if someone threatened a child, especially mine. That, at least, makes a certain twisted sense. But, this senseless murder of random strangers doesn't make any sense. They did NOTHING. They just were living, and breathing. Now...
The weirdest thing is that living in a larger city means that when something like this happens, the police cannot help but react on the offchance that someone else decides to try something like this as well. I can't forget how a few years ago, when we were new here, someone tried to set off a bomb at the annual Christmas Tree lighting. The FBI caught him and dismantled the bomb before anything happened, but it's left this knowledge in the back of my mind. How easily so many lives could have been destroyed then.
Brian is taking public transit again, because he was in another accident. I'm tired of worrying that he'll get into a serious one, because of how stupid people drive here. But, a part of me is also worried that he could get blown up because he takes a crowded train. It's terrifying, living with that knowledge. That he could become one of "such-and-such killed, and so-many wounded" and he's just a number to the media, but to me, he's everything. We go to a mall every Saturday. That child killed could be mine. It's enough sometimes that it's overwhelming, and the fear is painful. The act of going out, knowing what might happen, is sometimes followed by an inner struggle with What If This Is The Time Someone Decides To Bomb Where We Are.
Not because we've done anything. Not because we've hurt anyone. Just because we happen to be there.
I am not usually one for the death penalty, but I want it for whoever was behind these bombs. A part of me sincerely hopes that they didn't follow the trend of the recent shootings and kill themselves, because I want them publicly executed. I am still hoping that the man who shot up the theater in Colorado will end up getting lethal injection. I want these people DEAD. And not just dead, but KILLED BY THE STATE. I want it projected loud and clear to someone planning something like this that you will die. You are a villain, and you are wrong, and you deserve to have us all take a hand and throw a stone. Honestly, a part of me is even angry enough that I wish we did "savage" capital punishments--crowd murder basically, like stoning. I wish that the survivors of today could literally beat to death the man or woman (or people) who did this.
Because the damage is more than the lives gone, and the physical damage inflicted. This another emotional wound that says to everyone "It's not safe. We're not safe. Your children are not safe. No where is safe." And for that, I really cannot forgive whoever did this.