part 2
Reread Part One.
*
The trumpet went off at eight AM the next morning, right on schedule, and in Dogwood cabin, it was met with sleepy, protesting groans and many heads burrowing into pillows to escape it.
Joshua, on the other hand, was the first to roll out of bed, like always.
“Get up, get up, the sun is up!” he called, pulling a few pillows off of heads. “The bird is on the wing! No, that’s absurd, you silly turd; the wing is on the bird!” His trill was met with louder groans and Joshua grinned, tossing the pillows back none too lightly. “Up and at’em, sleepyheads!”
One by one, the boys woke up, rubbing sleep-filled eyes and yawning in the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. Outside the windows, the birds were twittering incessantly and Joshua breathed in the cool, fresh air as he watched his campers roll out of bed, all rumpled hair and pillow lines on their faces.
“Hey,” Sam said as he dug through his bag and straightened up. “All my underwear is gone.”
“So are my pants,” Logan commented from the other side of the room.
“Mine too!”
“Yeah, me too!”
Curious, Joshua turned to his own bag, digging through it, but all he found were tee shirts and socks. Straightening up, hands on his hips, he thought for a moment, shaking his head.
“Where are they?” Dorian demanded, crossing his arms over his thin frame and looking self-conscious.
“Cedar,” Joshua said simply, and the rest of the boys grimaced with understanding.
“How are we going to get them back?” Michael asked, glancing down at his body and the pair of old boxers he was wearing. Most of the other boys were only wearing boxers or maybe a pair of thin pajama pants if they were lucky.
“We’ll have to go outside,” Joshua said, beginning to see the genius behind the plan.
“But there are girls out there!” Logan exclaimed before schooling himself back quickly and scowling at Dorian’s gaze that had landed on him and his superman boxers. “I mean, I don’t want to scare them with my awesome physique.”
Joshua managed to suppress his laughter much better than the rest of the campers, who burst out laughing while Logan glared at all of them.
“I’ll go see what I can find out,” Joshua assured them instead. “I’ll be right back.”
Leaving the boys still laughing at Logan, who in turn threatened to push them outside and lock the door, Joshua slipped on a pair of sandals and left the cabin. He himself only had on a pair of old, worn red and cream boxer shorts, but he wasn’t nearly as self-conscious as his campers. He did feel a little exposed, though, as he trotted down the path, passing a few early morning campers headed for the bathroom.
A cat call greeted him as he passed Faith’s cabin where the girls were filing out the front door, and Faith winked at him as he went by. It was times like these that Joshua lamented the fact that Cedar cabin was so far away from his own, but he made it there pretty quickly and stepped up to the door, knocking loudly.
There was a scurry of movement behind it before it was pulled open and Carter stood there. He took a long look at Joshua, from his messy hair down to his pale chest and on down to his boxers.
“Well, isn’t this a fantasy come true?” he drawled, a wide grin curling his mouth, and the campers behind him craning for a look all snickered.
“Oh, very funny,” Joshua replied, although a part of him wondered if it was true. This wasn’t the time to contemplate it, though, seeing as how they were all supposed to be at breakfast in less than an hour and he and his campers had nothing to wear. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a mass migration of underwear and pants, would you?”
Carter paused thoughtfully before turning to his campers. “What do you say, guys? Any idea where they might be?”
The campers just smirked and Joshua didn’t have a good feeling about this even when Carter grinned at him.
*
Craning his neck up, Joshua squinted into the sun as he stared up the flagpole to the long line of boxers all tied together and hung up at the top.
Carter gestured at the pulley with a smirk. “Have at it. We have a breakfast to get to.”
Turning, he and the rest of his cabin left Joshua to pull down the line of underwear. It was still early yet, but more and more people were getting up and heading to breakfast. They tended to stop and stare as they passed the flagpole where Joshua was.
The underwear fell into a pile in the grass, all tied and tangled together, and as the last pair, the ones clipped to the pole, came down, Joshua pulled them off. A folded piece of notebook paper was pinned to them and he pulled it off carefully, unfolding and reading.
*
“I come bearing underwear,” Joshua announced as he tromped into the cabin and dumped the pile on the floor. “I hope your mom wrote your name on the tag.”
“What about the pants?” Logan asked as a few of the boys moved forward and started untying the massive pile.
“The pants,” Joshua said, shaking open the piece of paper, “have been taken hostage.”
Michael and Sam exchanged uneasy glances while Ewan sighed. Logan frowned, stepping forward.
“What do you mean, hostage?”
“What do we have to do?” Dorian asked uneasily from where he was scrunched up in his bunk as if trying to disappear into the shadows.
“Well,” Joshua said slowly, glancing around at all of them, scrawny little fifteen year olds, not yet grown into their awkward bodies. “How well do you know the song Squirrely?”
*
It wasn’t as embarrassing as it could have been, but then again, Joshua had been used to these kinds of pranks for years now. For his campers, on the other hand, he could see how it could be mortifying as they stood up in front of the entire camp at breakfast and did a performance of Squirrely, complete with movements.
“Squirrely, Squirrely, shake your bushy tail,” the boys sang, or rather mumbled, a few with their cheeks bright red and avoiding all eye contact with anyone.
Cedar cabin was watching eagerly, laughing loudly along with everyone else in the camp, and Joshua was glad when it was over just so that his kids could make a beeline for their table and try to sink into the floor. Joshua, on the other hand, waited for Carter to rise, a pile of jeans and shorts in his arms, and approach him while the rest of the camp was still giggling behind their hands.
“As promised,” Carter said as he handed over the clothes.
“I thought we weren’t going to mentally scar these kids,” Joshua said as Carter smiled and leaned in a little closer on the pretense of adjusting the heavy pile in Joshua’s arms.
“I enjoyed the show,” he murmured, and Joshua was glad he wasn’t fifteen or he might have turned red too as Carter stepped back and turned to the rest of the camp. “A round of applause for a wonderful performance!”
The applause was loud, echoing off the floor and ceiling, intermixed with wolf whistles and cat calls, and Joshua actually ducked his head slightly as he made his way back to his table and let the boys dive for their pants. His mind was still on Carter’s words and he couldn’t help smiling as he sat down and the applause died out.
“Why are you smiling?” Dorian asked when most of the boys were dressed and the rest of the camp had returned to their breakfasts.
“Hm?” Joshua asked distractedly, looking at him and shaking himself slightly. “Nothing.”
Dorian frowned but didn’t say anything else, and Joshua grabbed a pair of his shorts off the table instead.
*
“It’s been too long,” Carter murmured as Joshua stepped into the shower stall, twitching the curtains shut behind him and greeting Carter by pushing him back against the cold tile, ignoring the slight hiss he gave as his bare back hit and Joshua stepped under the warm spray of water from above.
He couldn’t agree more, and now that they were finally alone for more than a few minutes, he intended to take full advantage.
Pushing his mouth against Carter’s, he was rewarded when Carter didn’t hesitate a second to thread his fingers through his hair and drag him in closer, biting at his mouth, tongue sliding wetly over his bottom lip, and Carter groaned, low and rough in the back of his throat, sending a pang of want shooting through Joshua. The heat spread from his stomach, rising along his collar bone and seeping into his cock as he shoved Carter back against the wall under the spray of water dripping over them.
The bathroom was empty, and it was late. It was dark except a row of dim lights dangling over the sinks and the light of the moon falling in through the open window on the back wall, white light gilding over the old, cracked tiles and creeping in over the stall wall where Joshua had Carter cornered, hands roaming over his skin, sliding over Carter’s torso, thumbs anchoring against his hips, fingers pressing into the skin as Carter groaned softly, mouth closing heatedly over Joshua’s.
Carter’s kisses hadn’t changed since the first time, all those years ago, when a stupid dare had found Joshua sneaking up to Carter in the back of the campfire circle, heart pounding wildly as he’d tapped him on the shoulder, and pulse thundering in his ears when Carter had turned and Joshua had kissed him. He’d just kissed him without any pretense, any nervous stuttering, anything, and to his huge surprise, Carter had kissed him back.
It had been that way ever since and Joshua never wanted it to change.
Carter’s fingers were on his chin, tipping his head up into the kiss, fingers slipping on the wet skin, and Joshua’s own tightened over Carter’s hips.
Breaking away panting, Joshua kissed his way down Carter’s scratchy jaw, feeling the slight burn against his lips, nipping at the skin. Mouthing at Carter’s jaw, he felt Carter’s arm slide around his neck, warm and strong, hand falling over his shoulder blade while the other rubbed slowly around his side and to his lower back.
“God,” Carter breathed quietly, eyes sliding shut as Joshua slipped further down, dropping to his knees in the stall.
The water was starting to steam up the stall, clouds of moisture swirling around them as Joshua pushed Carter’s legs apart. Water streamed down from his hair, beads clinging to his back, rivulets dribbling down the back of his neck as Carter reached for his short hair, fingers sliding in the wet locks and closing over them gently as he stretched back, eyes opening and glancing down.
Joshua’s cock twitched eagerly as he was faced with Carter’s, thick and hard, and something in Joshua’s stomach contracted as Carter’s fingers tightened in his hair slightly.
“Josh,” Carter murmured, and Joshua didn’t even care that he was using his name. He wanted to hear his name, wanted to hear Carter say it.
For some reason, he felt weirdly nervous as he reached for Carter’s prick, his fingers wrapping around the hot skin, swallowing down the feeling as Carter moaned, head tipping back with a soft thump against the tile.
The weight of it was familiar, almost comforting, as Joshua adjusted his position slightly, knees against the hard floor. Working his hand slowly down the length, he listened for the sharp changes in Carter’s breathing, the way he bit back his noises, fingers tightening and loosening rhythmically in Joshua’s hair.
Leaning in, Joshua didn’t lose any time running his tongue up the underside of the hard cock, sliding over the ridges and swiping over the head as Carter sucked in a breath, fingers clenching. His hand sliding up, Joshua glanced up once, taking in the angles of Carter’s jaw, tilted back, the slight curve of his chest down to his hips, but it didn’t last long before he took Carter in completely, mouth closing over his prick and sucking.
He heard Carter’s half-formed curse before he bit it back, felt the way Carter’s hips shifted, trying not to jerk into his mouth, to choke him, but Joshua wanted it. He’d been waiting over ten months for this, for the moment when he’d hear Carter gasp out his name, when he’d mumble those things he always did, about Joshua’s mouth and his hands and how good, how fucking good it was.
Carter was panting, tilting his head to stare down, meeting Joshua’s eyes as Joshua moved. He sucked hard, tongue flicking over Carter’s prick, tasting the salty precum, letting the head slide against the inside of his cheek. Carter’s moan was choked this time and his hips were moving before he could stop himself. His fingers tangled in Joshua’s wet hair, and amidst the hot water spraying down and Carter’s cock in his mouth, Joshua groaned softly, reaching down to palm his own throbbing erection, desperately needing some kind of stimulation.
“Josh,” Carter was mumbling, licking his bottom lip, hips pushing up into Joshua’s mouth, and Joshua let him, relaxing his throat, sliding his tongue over the prick until Carter was just panting loudly, his free hand scrabbling for Joshua’s shoulder, fingers digging into his neck as he bit back a curse. “Josh.”
Joshua’s hand moved quickly now, jerking along with his mouth, and his other hand, wet with water from the shower, slid between Carter’s legs, rubbing along his balls and along the back of his thighs, stroking slow, careful lines down his skin until Carter was mumbling incoherently about Joshua’s mouth and trying to warn him before he came.
Joshua pulled off seconds before, tilting back just enough that the hot stripe of cum painted his jaw and neck as he sat there, palming his own dick and watching the slight tremble in Carter’s legs as he tried to catch his breath.
“God,” Carter breathed as he leaned back and Joshua pushed himself up slowly, rubbing at his knees and stumbling back under the hot spray of water, hand closing around his cock as Carter didn’t open his eyes for a moment. It didn’t take Carter long, though.
As soon as Joshua let out a slow breath as his hand dragged down, Carter was there, crowding him in under the shower head, an arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him in close, his other hand sliding down and taking Joshua’s place.
Relaxing, Joshua melted into Carter’s touch, clutching at his shoulders as Carter jerked him off quickly. The heat from the shower combined with the rough drag of Carter’s fingers was almost too much and he muffled his moan in Carter’s wet shoulder, biting down as his hips jerked involuntarily into Carter’s grip.
“Mmm,” Carter hummed against Joshua’s neck, mouthing along the skin under his ear, teeth worrying a small patch before sweeping his tongue over the reddened spot.
Joshua’s thigh was pressed to Carter’s and Joshua came with a groan, heat exploding in his stomach and spreading as he pushed his cock in against Carter’s warm inner thigh, cum smearing over the skin. Gasping, his fingers tightened on Carter’s shoulder, nails digging into the skin, and he panted for breath as he swallowed.
His limbs felt heavy as he smoothed his hands over the markings on the back of Carter’s shoulders gently.
“Sorry,” he muttered, but Carter only shook his head, reaching up and washing away the cum on Joshua’s neck and jaw before leaning in to kiss him, slow and deep, tongue sliding into his mouth as Joshua’s eyes closed.
The water cascaded down, washing away any remaining evidence, and Joshua knew he had to get back soon, but he just didn’t want to.
“Joshua,” Joshua murmured finally when the kiss broke and Carter lingered there, a hand on his jaw, thumb brushing under his lip.
“What?” Carter asked as Joshua sighed softly, contently.
“I don’t go by Josh anymore,” he replied, “not since high school.”
“Why?” Carter asked, leaning around to kiss his neck as Joshua tilted his head back, closing his eyes and pretending that he wasn’t going to have to leave in a few minutes, that in a few months, he wouldn’t be saying goodbye to Carter for another school year.
“It felt more mature, you know, a change from high school,” he mumbled as Carter hummed against his neck.
They didn’t often get to talk, Joshua thought, as Carter sucked on his earlobe. When they were alone, they were usually doing something like this, and they didn’t seem to talk much when they were around other people either.
“High school only ended last year,” Carter pointed out as he stepped away finally, turning Joshua around and smoothing his hands over his shoulders, slick under the water, and Joshua nodded. It felt nice, this moment, like for a minute, they were something more than just fuck buddies who hooked up during the summers and then pretended neither existed the rest of the year. “You don’t have to grow up right now.” He pressed a kiss to Joshua’s shoulder. “Don’t want this to end, do you?”
A small frown twitched Joshua’s mouth as he stood there. What did that mean? He didn’t want to ask, though, didn’t really want to find out, so he didn’t say anything as he stood there and listened to the water hitting the floor and concentrated on Carter’s hands resting against his waist, warm and heavy and familiar.
*
In between the back and forth pranks, the weekly hikes, and Joshua’s increasing avoidance of morning sports hour, the days seemed to pass in a blur of sun-dappled trails and early morning wakeup calls to flood Cedar cabin or put sand in their shoes or spend a particularly long morning cleaning their own cabin, picking off every bit of annoying silly string stuck to every surface.
Camp was definitely the best part of Joshua’s year, and not only because the rest of it had been so awful, but because it was like taking a break to breathe in the middle of everything. It was leaving everything behind for a few months, like something suspended in time.
The past year, his freshman year of college, had not gone like he’d expected. He’d expected it to be utterly amazing and interesting and that he’d meet a ton of new people. Instead, it had been draining and hard and he’d lived for his time away from it. Part of it was just due to the school. It was a state school, one he hadn’t been particularly interested in, but he hadn’t known what he wanted to do and it had seemed the best option at the time. In retrospect, though, he wished he’d chosen somewhere else.
Camp was an escape from all that, though. It was seeing old friends and falling back into easy routines and not having to worry about anything beyond that.
Now he lived for time spent with Carter, for stolen moments during arts and crafts sessions, for time planning pranks with his cabin and watching kids come out of their shells. He watched friendships form, duos and trios popping up within the cabin. All except for Dorian.
Dorian remained the outsider, always curled up in his bunk with nary a positive thing to add, and the object of teasing from Logan and sometimes Michael. Joshua had tried to talk to him, but Dorian just didn’t want to talk so he left him alone to sulk and hate his life. As long as he wasn’t attempting to drown himself, Joshua figured there wasn’t too much to worry about.
His favorite part of camp, now that he was a counselor and aside from getting out of sports and being able to sneak away with Carter without worrying about being caught by someone in charge, was the time he got to spend with the other counselors in the cafeteria relaying their daily trials and tribulations.
“Hey, ladies,” Joshua greeted Britney and Faith as he plopped down onto one of the benches where they were sitting, apparently having an amusing conversation since Faith was giggling at something and Britney looked something less than pissed for once as Joshua sat down.
“Hey, Tramp,” Faith greeted him brightly and Britney only eyed him as if he was intruding on something private. He ignored her.
“Whatcha talking about?” he asked, casting a quick glance down the table, spotting Carter down at the end talking with Brian.
“Buttercup was telling me about her boyfriend,” Faith replied, and Britney actually smiled. Joshua didn’t think he’d seen her do that since last summer.
“Ah, yes, the boyfriend,” Joshua said interestedly, turning more towards her and grinning. “Do tell. Did you trap him in your womanly net?”
Britney tossed him a patronizing look, much more what he was used to, and Joshua didn’t stop grinning.
“We met in Philosophy class,” she said coolly. “He asked to borrow a pen.”
“But you let him borrow much more than that, didn’t you?” Joshua asked ribbingly despite her unamused glare, lips tight as though she thoroughly disapproved of his insinuations.
“Some of us have class,” she snapped and Joshua rolled his eyes while Faith laughed slightly. “Landers is a gentleman.”
“Landers?” Joshua snorted and Britney shot him a glare.
“His roommate, on the other hand…”
“What’s wrong with his roommate?” Faith piped up, pulling back her messy brown hair into a ponytail and tying it up.
Britney frowned as if she thoroughly disapproved of the roommate too. Joshua wondered if she approved of anyone. Maybe Landers.
“He’s a pig, goes from girl to girl without a second thought. He’s got this ‘friend with benefits’ girl.”
Faith made an understanding noise and Joshua frowned this time.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked as Britney shot him a look and Faith raised an eyebrow.
“It never works out,” she said simply.
“Yes, it can,” Joshua argued but Faith shook her head.
“Someone always gets more attached.” She shrugged, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “It’s just a fact of the situation, I guess.”
“Well, how do you know?”
Joshua knew Faith had no idea about him and Carter, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was being attacked. Britney, on the other hand, didn’t say anything, sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest and just listening attentively. He had a feeling she thoroughly approved of what Faith was saying.
Faith looked surprised at his tone, slightly aggressive, and he sat back a little, getting a grip on himself. She didn’t know. She was just talking. And besides, what did it matter if that did happen? Sometimes it could be a good thing.
“I don’t,” she said finally. “I just, you know, have friends, and it doesn’t usually work.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Joshua apologized with a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing down at Carter, but Carter was still talking to Brian and clearly not listening at all. “I just think it can work, and even if it doesn’t, maybe it’ll work out for the better.”
Faith looked skeptical but she shrugged. “Maybe.”
Britney was frowning again, but Joshua wasn’t paying attention to her, lost in his own thoughts. Glancing at the clock above the kitchens, he pushed himself up from the table.
“I gotta get my kids,” he said easily. “I’ll see you guys later.”
As he left the cafeteria, he didn’t look back to see if anyone was watching, and headed on his own towards the arts and crafts area.
With all the campers at different activities, the path through the cabins was quiet aside from birds and insects buzzing around in the warm treetops. Joshua took the long way, passing by the lake where the younger kids were swimming and Hilary, the lifeguard, was blowing her whistle at a pair playing chicken in shallow water.
Joshua passed on, kicking the dirt and dried, dead leaves in front of him. The wind rustled the leaves still clinging to the trees above him, and Joshua told himself to forget about what Faith had said. Friends with benefits could work. It had worked for him and Carter for nearly three years now.
The arts and crafts area wasn’t too far away, and when Joshua got there, he found his campers along with the girls from Britney’s cabin sitting around the picnic tables, pieces of embroidery floss scattered everywhere. The arts and crafts counselor, Alex, a knobbly-kneed stoner with dishwater blond dreadlocks and a nose ring, was waxing on about the art of embroidery floss. Most of the kids didn’t appear to be paying him any attention, especially Dorian, who was glaring furiously at Logan, who was laughing at something. At the sight of Joshua, Dorian jumped up, arms tight across his chest unraveling as he stomped past him.
Joshua watched him curiously as he stopped a few feet away, clearly ready to leave.
“Hey, guys, time for a little R and R before the hike this afternoon,” he said, gesturing the boys up. Alex looked around dazedly, as if he hadn’t realized Joshua was there. The girls at the table were giggling together, especially when one, the short one with red hair, glanced at Dorian and he bristled. She giggled harder with her friends and Dorian glared. Logan climbed up from the bench but not before whispering something in the girl’s ear.
Dorian turned, stalking down the path, and Joshua called after him.
“Hey, wait up, Dor!” He looked back at his cabin. Logan was smirking and Joshua frowned. “What happened?”
“Oh, he’s just embarrassed,” Logan crooned and a few of the guys grinned. “Puppy love is so cute, isn’t it?” The guys laughed and Dorian stopped down the path, body stiffening as he listened. “I mean, he’s never even kissed a girl, so of course he’s scared.”
“Fuck you!” Dorian exploded, turning back sharply and marching up to Logan, who didn’t look scared in the least, not with Dorian, who was a good two inches shorter than him (although he was by no means the shortest in the group) and still a little scrawny in body, looming before him.
Quickly, Joshua stepped in, pushing Dorian away while Logan and the other boys laughed. He didn’t want any blood.
“I have so kissed a girl,” Dorian snapped, trying to push away Joshua’s arm, but Joshua was bigger and stronger than him so it wasn’t much use. “You’re the one who probably spends all his time fantasizing that one will even look at you, you little motherf-”
“Okay,” Joshua interrupted loudly, putting both hands on Dorian’s shoulders and holding him at arm’s length. Dorian was breathing heavily, glaring with all the hatred he could muster at Logan, who now looked slightly annoyed at Dorian’s words. “That’s enough, you two. Let’s go calm down, and I don’t want to hear another word about how many girls anyone has kissed, okay?”
Logan sneered slightly and Dorian just glared, trying to kill him with his eyes apparently. Sighing, Joshua waved to Alex who was still sitting on the picnic table, and Alex waved back vaguely, already returning to his story about embroidery floss.
*
They didn’t get much rest or relaxation when they got back to their cabin and found several wild birds flittering wildly around the ceiling, hopping from bed post to bed post, making it impossible to catch them or even get them out the front door. It wasn’t until all five of the birds had finally darted out the open door, feathers scattering behind them that Joshua noticed the little piece of paper signed with cedar cabin’s name on the floor.
Too exhausted to actually care, Joshua just rounded up his kids, getting them ready for the hike and herding them out the door. Dorian didn’t linger at all, keen to put a great distance between himself and the rest of the cabin, and Joshua didn’t stop him as they reached the field where everyone was gathered.
The camp director was there, shouting out orders to the groups and practically vibrating with excitement as everyone split off into groups and headed for the trail head.
Joshua’s cabin wasn’t too enthusiastic and only trudged along behind him, although Dorian was more than a few feet ahead. Joshua just kept a close watch in case he decided to throw himself off the hillside at some point along the hike.
The mountain was one they climbed every year, around sharp bends and gentle inclines, past shivering trees and golden, blowing grasses. The view was always stunning as they climbed; the valley spread out below them, golden and green, dotted with clusters of trees and other rolling hills in the distance. The sky was a perfect robin’s egg blue, speckled with fluffy white clouds and ruffled only by a light breeze coming from the south.
The boys dispersed a little as they walked and Joshua didn’t try to keep them together. Obviously, it was one of those days. He figured it was better to just let things cool off and hopefully nothing would get worse.
“Hey.”
Carter appeared at Joshua’s shoulder as they rounded the top of a particularly steep incline and most of the kids came panting over the crest.
“Hey,” Joshua replied tiredly, not even in the mood to pretend they were enemies in war. He just wanted this day over with.
Carter gave him a questioning look as they walked along, the path leveling out for a minute, just long enough to catch their breaths. Their fearless leader, or the director, was at the head of the line shouting encouragements but they fell on mostly deaf ears.
“Everything okay?” Carter asked as the path narrowed to only fit two people and they had to slow down to let everyone file in.
Sighing, Joshua shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. My kids are just being… teenagers.”
Carter smiled as they walked, and Joshua glanced at Dorian ahead of him, who was stubbornly walking by himself.
“Did you guys get back to your cabin yet?”
Joshua almost smiled. “Yeah, the birds were a nice touch.”
“They were Eric’s idea.”
“Do all your campers get along?” Joshua asked suddenly as he tripped over a root and Carter caught him, hands wrapping around his arm as he pulled him back up. Joshua’s eyes were drawn to Carter’s hands that lingered for a moment too long before pulling away.
“Mostly,” Carter replied, stopping a branch from hitting Joshua in the face.
Joshua sighed. “I just don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “Dorian is so unhappy.”
“Come on,” Carter said reassuringly, and Joshua glanced at him helplessly. “You’re great with kids. It’ll work itself out.”
“Easy for you to say,” Joshua replied as they trooped along and he glanced back to check on the rest of his cabin. The boys looked tired and were red in the face as they started up yet another hill. “Your kids don’t explode over simple teasing about kissing girls.”
Carter laughed at that. “Don’t you remember my first summer here? Everyone was being teased about kissing. It was that age.”
“Thank God that’s over, huh?” Joshua asked as Carter smiled.
“Yup. Don’t have to worry about who to kiss anymore.” He sent Joshua a small wink before patting him on the shoulder. “Anyway, I gotta get back to my kids. Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Joshua deadpanned as Carter sped up to join his group closer to where Dorian was walking. He did smile slightly, though, as he watched Carter before frowning to himself and slowing down to join his own campers.
*
As Joshua brushed feathers off his sleeping bag that night before climbing in and switching off the light, he glanced at Dorian’s bed, but Dorian was already buried deep in the sleeping bag, the flap pulled over his head, and he wasn’t moving. Michael was on the bunk above him, staring at the ceiling, and Logan on the top bunk across. The rest of the campers were quiet, exhausted from the hike, and Joshua was glad.
He flipped off the light without a word and the cabin was cast into darkness. The only sounds were the intermittent rustling of sleeping bags and the crickets coming in from outside.
As he lay there, he didn’t think about getting up and seeing if Carter was awake somewhere. Instead, Faith’s words from earlier floated back to him, as if from a dream. The morning seemed so far away now.
Someone always gets more attached.
What did she really know about it anyway? Joshua was the one in the situation, not her. He didn’t know why it was bothering him so much. He and Carter had a good relationship going. It was just mutual fun that didn’t need to be explained and no emotions needed to be attached.
Rolling over, he stared at the faint slat of moonlight falling onto the floor of the cabin. His thoughts flickered for a moment to the old, dusty box hidden under the loose floorboard beneath his bunk. It hadn’t been opened in nearly three years, not since he had hidden it there.
He didn’t pull it out now, just raised his eyes to Dorian’s sleeping form, breathing coming slowly and evenly. For once, he wasn’t angry, just peaceful.
His thoughts drifted to Carter again as he lay there, to his smile and the way his hands had lingered on him earlier. Was it possible? No, he was just being crazy, he told himself. He and Carter were just friends who happened to hook up. It wasn’t as if they ever talked outside of camp. How could anyone have developed feelings? Except that when he wasn’t at camp, Joshua had thought about Carter. The few weeks before camp had started, it had been all he’d thought about. Not just camp, but the people, the friends… Carter.
Turning over again, Joshua told himself to stop thinking about it. It wasn’t a big deal, the way he felt or what he thought about. It was perfectly normal between friends and there was nothing to worry about.
With that thought, Joshua closed his eyes and told himself firmly to go to sleep. There was nothing he could do, and nothing he wanted to do.
*
“Tramp. Tramp? Tramp!”
Joshua jerked slightly as someone waved a hand in front of his face and he pushed it away to find Michael there, giving him a strange look. The rest of the table was watching him, clearly waiting for an answer and Joshua frowned.
“What?” he asked, blinking down at his half-eaten eggs. The cafeteria was filled with campers, all clinking with their silverware and talking, voices echoing around them. Joshua had been distracted staring at Carter a few tables over, although Carter hadn’t seemed to notice.
“Are we gonna get Cedar back for the birds? I found another feather in my shoe this morning.”
“Well, of course we are,” Joshua replied obviously, tearing his thoughts away from Carter and trying to focus on his cabin. Beside him, Dorian was just poking at his food and looking completely uninterested.
“We should do something with animals,” Sam piped up from next to Michael.
“No spiders,” Ewan interjected, and a few other boys nodded in agreement.
“How about a snake in sleeping bag?” Logan suggested. Dorian shot Logan a look but didn’t say anything, sinking down further on the bench.
“Good luck catching a snake,” Joshua put in, but he paused as he thought. “There might be something, but it’ll require some sacrificing on your parts.”
He shouldn’t have even bothered as the boys all perked up eagerly. He smiled, glad to have something else to focus on, and glad that for once, none of his campers were fighting, although Dorian, for one, didn’t look excited at the prospect of sacrifice. He didn’t argue, though, just stabbed his eggs instead.
*
Joshua sat on the hill overlooking the lake, nestled under the cooling shade of the one of the many trees that popped up on the crest. His campers were mere dots in their canoes, and he thought he could see one of them wobble dangerously as they rounded a small, swampy island.
He wasn’t really surprised when Carter appeared beside him, settling down onto the dried grass beside him and glancing over. Joshua didn’t react, watching the canoes drift further downstream.
“How’re the campers?” Carter asked finally, looking to the lake also. His own campers were mixed in there somewhere.
“Same,” Joshua replied with a small sigh. “Yours?”
Carter shrugged. “Yeah, same.” He smiled slightly, glancing at Joshua. “There’s a full moon tonight.”
“Really?” Joshua asked, meeting Carter’s eyes for a minute, catching the sparkle there. Carter ruffled his hair and sat back on his hands as he nodded.
“Yeah. What are the chances I might find you out on a midnight stroll?”
Something in Joshua’s stomach jumped excitedly but he pushed it down as he looked back to the lake. “Sorry, I have plans.”
“Plans?” Carter asked curiously. “With who, might I ask?”
“With my cabin.”
“Oh,” Carter said thoughtfully, shifting up, and Joshua tried not to react as Carter scooted closer, reaching for his jaw and tilting his head to the side gently as he leaned in, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses to his neck. Joshua’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the gentle touch but he tried to pull himself together before he could be swayed or before any unwanted thoughts crept into his mind about just how nice this was and how he could really get used to this. “And it’s going to take all night?”
“It’s a…” Joshua started but stopped as Carter’s tongue slid into his ear and he lost his train of thought. “… A bonding thing, you know… since the boys have been… oh God.”
“I get it,” Carter murmured, sliding away with a last hot kiss pressed to his jaw, tongue sliding teasingly against his skin. “No big deal.”
Joshua glanced at him as Carter settled back onto the grass, apparently completely at ease with the situation. Swallowing, he squashed his flip-flopping stomach and looked back to the lake.
“Yeah, no big deal.”
*
“Now, the trick,” Joshua whispered as he crouched down next to the water’s edge, the water lapping against the bank, gleaming in the light of the full moon. He had a flashlight in one hand and a bucket set down on the ground beside him, and he gesturing in the boys around him and the patch of marshy grass alongside the bank. “Is to be quick and don’t shine the light in their eyes or they’ll jump away.”
Pressing a finger to his lips, he pointed into the grass where a load croaking was coming from. Flicking off his flashlight, he set it down and inched forward, hands shooting into the bush and he came out with a small, struggling frog.
Logan’s face lit up as he stared at the frog and Joshua dropped it into the bucket, setting a book on top.
“Make sure you put the book back or it’ll just jump out,” he told them. “Try to get as many as you can in the next half hour. We’re not really supposed to be out this late without permission.”
The boys scattered, whispering between themselves as they followed the sounds of the frogs croaking on the bank.
There were plenty of frogs to go around and it wasn’t long before the boys were catching the wet, slimy frogs and dropping them in the bucket. Joshua caught a few, but mostly kept an eye out to make sure no one wandered off.
On the bank, Dorian was just kneeling by a patch of grass, clearly not looking to catch any frogs.
“No good frogs?” Joshua asked as he came over and dropped down next to him, checking to make sure Logan was still in sight.
“This is dumb,” Dorian muttered.
“Have you ever gone frog catching before?”
“No,” Dorian muttered again, like it should have been obvious, eyeing Joshua, who nodded.
“Well, then at least it’s something new and dumb.” He smiled, giving Dorian’s arm a playful push. “Come on, you can’t hate everything.”
“Yeah, I can,” Dorian grumbled despite Joshua’s laugh.
“You shouldn’t. Life is supposed to be fun, and you’re only fifteen. Plenty of time to hate life later. Why start now?”
Dorian eyed him carefully, and Joshua shrugged. Standing up, he pulled Dorian up with him.
“Let’s go dump some frogs in Cedar.”
Sighing, Dorian just detached his arm and followed along.
*
“Word around the flagpole is you had an infestation last night.”
Joshua didn’t try to hide his smirk as Carter sighed, pushing back his hair and shaking his head as he glanced at Nicole, who was perched on the table, arms on her knees and grinning at Carter.
“How’d you know about that?” Carter asked, and Nicole shrugged.
“The girlish screams carried.”
Carter groaned. “Britney.”
Nicole laughed. “She is next door.”
“And has a big mouth.”
“So it’s not true?” Nicole asked, tightening her pony tail, and Joshua didn’t react as Carter tossed him a knowing glance. “You didn’t find hundreds of little frogs leaping all around your cabin this morning? I hope you didn’t squish any of them.”
“Just a couple,” Carter muttered. He shivered slightly. “Ugh, I feel like I need another shower. The scream Britney heard was probably Eric. He woke up with one on his face.”
Joshua couldn’t help as his grin widened and he stared down at the letter he was supposed to be writing home. It was only half-finished and he doubted he would finish it at all, especially when Carter huffed at him.
“Like I don’t know who did it,” he said obviously and Joshua straightened his face into something resembling innocence.
“The toads?”
Nicole laughed while Carter shook his head.
“We’re going to get you back, don’t you worry.”
“I’m not,” Joshua replied simply, smiling sweetly. His stomach did a stupid little flip as Carter’s eyes rested on him a minute longer, grey and calm as if trying to see through him for whatever other secrets he might have been hiding. He wasn’t sure what he hoped Carter saw, but the edges of Carter’s mouth twitched up for barely a second before he looked away.
“You just wait.”
Joshua turned away, smiling to himself, as Nicole sighed fondly between them.
“You boys.”
*
The next few days passed uneventfully, which only made Joshua more suspicious, but he wasn’t going to worry about it. Cedar cabin would retaliate when they were good and ready, he knew, and there was no point dwelling on things he couldn’t control. His campers seemed somehow convinced that they’d somehow won a battle, although Joshua warned them not to drop their guards for a minute.
At the moment, though, his boys were far more interested in staring at Britney in her bikini on the lakeshore than in whatever Cedar might be planning.
Joshua couldn’t blame them.
It was another gorgeous day with not a cloud in the sky, the sun burning overhead, and they had a few extra hours just to relax and take a break in the cool lake waters. The three cabins of fifteen year olds were all scattered over the shore and in the water. Hilary watched attentively from her lifeguard post, but no one seemed in danger of drowning at the moment.
Joshua let his feet dangle in the water from where he sat on the floating dock a ways away from the shore. Most of his campers were busy ogling Britney sun tanning despite the annoyed looks of the girls from her cabin. The red-haired girl that had been giggling at Dorian the week before was eyeing him eagerly, but Dorian seemed to have no interest in talking or even looking at her.
Joshua’s eyes drifted to Carter near the shore, where he was splashing around with a few of his campers boisterously. Since he was pretty much alone out on the dock, Joshua could take the time to admire the way the water shined on Carter’s chest and the way he shied away from getting his hair any wetter than it needed to be. The sight made Joshua smile. Carter was so weird about his keeping his hair perfectly mussed, like it always had to look like he’d just been well-fucked. Joshua wished it was actually true.
A dangerous wobble of the dock brought Joshua’s eyes snapping away from Carter and he glanced over to find Dorian hauling himself out of the water to sit on the dock beside him. Surprised, Joshua tried not to show it.
“Hey,” he greeted Dorian easily, watching the way the water ripples echoed out from where Dorian’s feet dangled. The water was a dark blue, fading into a murky brown the deeper it got.
Dorian just nodded vaguely, hands curled around the edge of the dock, and he was staring at his feet, distorted in the water.
Breathing in deeply, Joshua looked back at Carter. He had one of his kids in a headlock while the other two boys jumped on his back. His laugh was loud, smile wide, and Joshua could hear it from here. He wondered for a second how Carter would feel about doing something more.
Carter was already affectionate with him, Joshua thought, but then again, this had been going on for three years already, and they were friends. Maybe Carter was like that with all his friends. Something unpleasant clenched Joshua’s stomach as he entertained the thought of Carter hooking up with his other friends, but he quickly pushed it away.
Instead, he looked at Dorian. Dorian was still staring at his feet, floppy hair falling awkwardly into his eyes, the tips wet from the lake. His shoulder blades had taken on a reddish tint, the beginnings of a sunburn, and Joshua reminded himself to tell Dorian to put on more sunblock. He looked less angry for once and a little awkward as he sat there silently.
“Why aren’t you over with the rest of the guys?” Joshua asked. “Buttercup’s bathing suit is a tie-on.”
Dorian raised his eyes to across the lake where half the rest of the cabin was debating who could go talk to Britney. He didn’t reply immediately, biting his bottom lip and looking back at his feet.
“Can I tell you something?” he mumbled down at the dock. The water lapped gently against the edge with a quiet slapping noise as the dock rocked in the wind.
“Sure, you can tell me anything,” Joshua answered brightly, kicking gently at a small fish that darted up to his toes. It scattered immediately.
Dorian hesitated. “You swear you won’t tell anyone? No one?”
Pausing, Joshua glanced at him and the way he seemed to be scrunching himself up as small as he could on the dock. “Yeah,” he replied slowly. “Your secrets are safe with me.”
Dorian sighed, uncurling his hands from the edge of the dock and dropping them into his lap. He looked away from Joshua, to the other bank that curved away from camp into the woods.
“I didn’t want to come to camp,” he said finally, and Joshua watched him carefully.
“Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear,” he said with a smile, but Dorian didn’t echo it or even look back.
“My parents made me come,” Dorian went on slowly. “They didn’t want to… deal with me, I guess.”
Joshua didn’t understand as Dorian paused, frowning down at his hands. He looked up after a second, glancing at Joshua quickly as though scared Joshua would somehow figure it out if he looked too long.
“Before summer, I… I sort of told my parents-” He swallowed nervously, staring back at the water as though it might well up and swallow him to save him the embarrassment or horror of whatever he was about to say. “-I sort of told them that I’m… gay.” He paused, biting his lip, as if Joshua was about to explode, but Joshua just blinked slowly. With a fearful glance, he went on. “So they shipped me off to camp. I, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I was wrong.”
Joshua could tell he didn’t mean that. Sighing, he ran a hand through his short hair and sat back on his hands. Dorian carefully avoided his eyes.
“Could have been worse,” he said finally, and he could see Dorian frown, confused. “They could have sent you off to military school.”
“They got rid of me,” Dorian replied harshly, finally turning to stare at Joshua. “They just sent me away!”
“It takes some people a while,” Joshua said wisely, and Dorian looked as though he didn’t believe him in the least. “But you’re pretty brave, coming out to your parents.”
“What do you know about it?” Dorian snapped, back to his standoffish behavior.
Joshua paused. He hadn’t planned on telling any of his campers about his personal life. Personal life wasn’t for camp. The line seemed to have been blurred lately, though, so what did it matter at this point?
“Well,” he said slowly, kicking the water slightly and watching the ripples. “When I told my parents I didn’t want to take a girl to the prom, I was terrified. I was sure they were going to freak out, throw me out or, I don’t know. I had all these crazy thoughts.”
Dorian stared at him now, eyes wide, completely still as they sat on the dock.
“But they were just thoughts, and none of them came true, although sometimes my dad does like to rib me about not carrying on the family name.”
“You-” Dorian started, eyes still wide, and his mouth was hanging open but he closed it after a second as he shook himself. “You’re…”
Joshua shrugged with a small smile. “You’re not the only one, you know. Don’t worry about your parents. Summer camp is supposed to help you forget everything, not make things worse.”
Dorian shook his head slowly. “You talk about this place like it’s magical or something.”
“It kind of is,” Joshua said, laughing to himself.
Dorian only sighed, looking across the lake to where Logan was now attempting to talk to Britney. She was rebuffing his attempts from the perplexed look on his face.
“How do you know if you like someone?” he asked hesitatingly. “Like, really like someone?”
Joshua shrugged. “The same way you do with anyone. Being gay doesn’t mean you feel things differently. You’re still human.”
“Yeah, but I never… I mean, I haven’t… with a guy…” Dorian trailed away, sounding embarrassed, and staring down at his feet again.
“Don’t worry,” Joshua said with a grin. “It’ll happen. You kissed a girl before, right?”
“Once,” Dorian admitted. “It was… not good.”
Laughing, Joshua resisted the urge to ruffle his hair like a five-year old. “It’ll get better, especially when you find someone you actually like.”
Dorian looked less than convinced as he sat back slightly, looking away from the shore finally.
“Have you ever been in love?” Dorian asked instead, still sounding slightly skeptical, and Joshua paused.
His immediate response would have been no considering he’d barely had a real boyfriend. There had been relationships, sure, but they’d never lasted longer than a few months, maybe, at the most. In fact, if he thought about it, Carter really was his longest-lasting relationship. It wasn’t like they were dating or anything either, so he couldn’t possibly be in love with him.
He couldn’t help his eyes from drifting to Carter, though, watching the way he laughed, loud and open. Despite the years that had passed, he hadn’t changed that much except perhaps physically. He was bigger, sturdier, and he had stubble now. His smile was still the same with the slight dimple on the corner of his left cheek, his messy hair, and sparkling grey eyes. He gave warm hugs and perfect kisses and he was always genuinely happy to see Joshua.
Love, though. He’d never been with anyone long enough to find out. Last year, he’d barely gone out let alone dated anyone. He’d spent most of the weeks leading up to camp just dreaming about the moment he’d get Carter alone.
It was that thought that jolted him and he blinked quickly, realizing that Dorian was still waiting for a response. Sitting back, he quirked a small smile.
“No,” he replied finally, eyes still on Carter across the lake. “Not yet.”
He heard Dorian sigh, but he wasn’t worried about him at the moment. He just smiled slightly and sat back, eyes on Carter’s smile.
*
The sunlight was streaming in through the window and it was nearly eight o’clock, but it wasn’t the sun or the inevitable trumpet call that woke Joshua. Something tickled his cheek as he lay there, brushing at his face, but it was the strangled yell that jerked him awake.
“Whassgoinnon?” someone mumbled sleepily and Joshua pushed himself up to see Ewan scrambling away from his sleeping back, scrubbing at his arms frantically.
“Spider, there’s a spider!” he yelped, but more boys were awake now and rubbing their eyes sleepily.
“That’s not a spider,” Logan said, staring over the edge of his bunk to Ewan below him. “It’s a cricket.”
“Well, it was a giant cricket,” Ewan spat as Logan laughed at him.
Logan wasn’t laughing long, though, as he jumped and nearly fell off his bunk.
“What was that?!” he demanded, yanking up his sleeping bag and peering inside. “There’s something…”
But Joshua wasn’t looking at Logan anymore. He was staring at the floor instead. The wooden boards were covered, almost every inch, with dark brown crickets, hopping and chirping. There was one on the top of his sleeping bag that Joshua brushed away easily.
“Crickets!” Michael said as Logan dug inside his sleeping bag for the one that had apparently taken up residence there.
“Oh, they’re good,” Joshua murmured as a few more boys jumped from crickets nestled in their sleeping bags.
“They’re everywhere!” Sam cried as he pushed a few off his sleeping bag and they just leapt onto another bed.
Dorian was watching Logan disentangle himself from his sleeping bag, looking mussed and entirely displeased as the cricket dangled by its legs from in between his fingers. He dropped it over the edge of his bunk, nearly on top of Ewan, who jumped again and sent him a dirty look.
“How are we going to get rid of them?” Michael asked, staring down at the cricket-covered floor. This was much worse than frogs.
Sliding gently out of his sleeping bag, Joshua brushed aside a spot big enough to put his feet down and glanced at all the crickets. Most of the boys seemed uneasy to get off their beds despite that they were only crickets.
“Sort of makes you wish we’d kept the birds, doesn’t it?” Joshua asked ruefully, smiling to himself as no one laughed and a cricket hopped onto his knee.
*
Joshua felt as though little feet were tickling him all over even as he sat at the breakfast table surrounded by chattering campers, although his own group wasn’t nearly as bouncy as normal, a few shivering every now and again, and Ewan looked paranoid, jumping every time anyone so much as brushed against him.
Their cabin was not cricket-free although they’d scooped out as many as they could. Joshua had a feeling they’d be finding crickets for weeks until they either accidentally squished them, threw them out, or they died in some hidden crevice of their cabin. He was going to kill Carter.
Carter hadn’t even acknowledged him that morning, though, and despite the mutinous glances Joshua’s cabin kept sending Cedar cabin, the boys didn’t acknowledge them either.
“We have to get them back,” Logan hissed down the table, and there was a general murmur of agreement.
“We will,” Joshua assured him calmly. “Don’t worry. All in good time.”
Logan didn’t look appeased as he sat back and muttered something to Michael that Joshua couldn’t hear. Across from Logan, Dorian had mushed his breakfast into something less than unappealing on his plate. He was gazing vaguely over at the table where Britney and her group of girls sat.
He jumped and winced, though, as Logan kicked him under the table.
“Ow,” he said angrily, glaring at Logan, who was smirking now.
“Dorian and Lauren sitting in a tree,” Logan started to sing-song, and Michael and a few other guys laughed. Dorian’s cheeks burned red, although Joshua was pretty sure it wasn’t from embarrassment.
“Shut up!” he hissed. “I don’t like her!”
“Oh?” Logan asked leeringly, grin widening and blue eyes sparkling deviously. “Then who do you like?”
The back of Dorian’s neck was red now too as he stared at Logan, and Joshua frowned for a second as he watched them, wondering how long he should wait before intervening. Maybe Dorian could handle it on his own. Logan looked like the cat that got the canary the longer Dorian didn’t respond, the longer Dorian just stared at him, expression changing from anger to something more confusing, a hint of fear and embarrassment before he tore his gaze away and it landed on his ruined breakfast.
“No one,” he muttered to his plate, and Logan laughed knowingly.
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “It’s Jenny, isn’t it? She’s much hotter.”
Dorian didn’t reply, the back of his neck hot as he kept his head down. Joshua watched him a minute longer before glancing at Logan, who was craning to check out whichever one Jenny was.
“Unless you don’t want to kiss a girl,” Logan started off after a second, as if the thought was ludicrous, but Joshua cut him off before Dorian could lash out. From the look on his face, he was two seconds from punching Logan.
“Who’s ready for archery?” he asked instead, interrupting. “Can you guys promise me you won’t shoot anyone today?”
Dorian looked slightly relieved as Logan was immediately distracted arguing that the last time was totally an accident.
Part Two >>
*
The trumpet went off at eight AM the next morning, right on schedule, and in Dogwood cabin, it was met with sleepy, protesting groans and many heads burrowing into pillows to escape it.
Joshua, on the other hand, was the first to roll out of bed, like always.
“Get up, get up, the sun is up!” he called, pulling a few pillows off of heads. “The bird is on the wing! No, that’s absurd, you silly turd; the wing is on the bird!” His trill was met with louder groans and Joshua grinned, tossing the pillows back none too lightly. “Up and at’em, sleepyheads!”
One by one, the boys woke up, rubbing sleep-filled eyes and yawning in the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. Outside the windows, the birds were twittering incessantly and Joshua breathed in the cool, fresh air as he watched his campers roll out of bed, all rumpled hair and pillow lines on their faces.
“Hey,” Sam said as he dug through his bag and straightened up. “All my underwear is gone.”
“So are my pants,” Logan commented from the other side of the room.
“Mine too!”
“Yeah, me too!”
Curious, Joshua turned to his own bag, digging through it, but all he found were tee shirts and socks. Straightening up, hands on his hips, he thought for a moment, shaking his head.
“Where are they?” Dorian demanded, crossing his arms over his thin frame and looking self-conscious.
“Cedar,” Joshua said simply, and the rest of the boys grimaced with understanding.
“How are we going to get them back?” Michael asked, glancing down at his body and the pair of old boxers he was wearing. Most of the other boys were only wearing boxers or maybe a pair of thin pajama pants if they were lucky.
“We’ll have to go outside,” Joshua said, beginning to see the genius behind the plan.
“But there are girls out there!” Logan exclaimed before schooling himself back quickly and scowling at Dorian’s gaze that had landed on him and his superman boxers. “I mean, I don’t want to scare them with my awesome physique.”
Joshua managed to suppress his laughter much better than the rest of the campers, who burst out laughing while Logan glared at all of them.
“I’ll go see what I can find out,” Joshua assured them instead. “I’ll be right back.”
Leaving the boys still laughing at Logan, who in turn threatened to push them outside and lock the door, Joshua slipped on a pair of sandals and left the cabin. He himself only had on a pair of old, worn red and cream boxer shorts, but he wasn’t nearly as self-conscious as his campers. He did feel a little exposed, though, as he trotted down the path, passing a few early morning campers headed for the bathroom.
A cat call greeted him as he passed Faith’s cabin where the girls were filing out the front door, and Faith winked at him as he went by. It was times like these that Joshua lamented the fact that Cedar cabin was so far away from his own, but he made it there pretty quickly and stepped up to the door, knocking loudly.
There was a scurry of movement behind it before it was pulled open and Carter stood there. He took a long look at Joshua, from his messy hair down to his pale chest and on down to his boxers.
“Well, isn’t this a fantasy come true?” he drawled, a wide grin curling his mouth, and the campers behind him craning for a look all snickered.
“Oh, very funny,” Joshua replied, although a part of him wondered if it was true. This wasn’t the time to contemplate it, though, seeing as how they were all supposed to be at breakfast in less than an hour and he and his campers had nothing to wear. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a mass migration of underwear and pants, would you?”
Carter paused thoughtfully before turning to his campers. “What do you say, guys? Any idea where they might be?”
The campers just smirked and Joshua didn’t have a good feeling about this even when Carter grinned at him.
*
Craning his neck up, Joshua squinted into the sun as he stared up the flagpole to the long line of boxers all tied together and hung up at the top.
Carter gestured at the pulley with a smirk. “Have at it. We have a breakfast to get to.”
Turning, he and the rest of his cabin left Joshua to pull down the line of underwear. It was still early yet, but more and more people were getting up and heading to breakfast. They tended to stop and stare as they passed the flagpole where Joshua was.
The underwear fell into a pile in the grass, all tied and tangled together, and as the last pair, the ones clipped to the pole, came down, Joshua pulled them off. A folded piece of notebook paper was pinned to them and he pulled it off carefully, unfolding and reading.
*
“I come bearing underwear,” Joshua announced as he tromped into the cabin and dumped the pile on the floor. “I hope your mom wrote your name on the tag.”
“What about the pants?” Logan asked as a few of the boys moved forward and started untying the massive pile.
“The pants,” Joshua said, shaking open the piece of paper, “have been taken hostage.”
Michael and Sam exchanged uneasy glances while Ewan sighed. Logan frowned, stepping forward.
“What do you mean, hostage?”
“What do we have to do?” Dorian asked uneasily from where he was scrunched up in his bunk as if trying to disappear into the shadows.
“Well,” Joshua said slowly, glancing around at all of them, scrawny little fifteen year olds, not yet grown into their awkward bodies. “How well do you know the song Squirrely?”
*
It wasn’t as embarrassing as it could have been, but then again, Joshua had been used to these kinds of pranks for years now. For his campers, on the other hand, he could see how it could be mortifying as they stood up in front of the entire camp at breakfast and did a performance of Squirrely, complete with movements.
“Squirrely, Squirrely, shake your bushy tail,” the boys sang, or rather mumbled, a few with their cheeks bright red and avoiding all eye contact with anyone.
Cedar cabin was watching eagerly, laughing loudly along with everyone else in the camp, and Joshua was glad when it was over just so that his kids could make a beeline for their table and try to sink into the floor. Joshua, on the other hand, waited for Carter to rise, a pile of jeans and shorts in his arms, and approach him while the rest of the camp was still giggling behind their hands.
“As promised,” Carter said as he handed over the clothes.
“I thought we weren’t going to mentally scar these kids,” Joshua said as Carter smiled and leaned in a little closer on the pretense of adjusting the heavy pile in Joshua’s arms.
“I enjoyed the show,” he murmured, and Joshua was glad he wasn’t fifteen or he might have turned red too as Carter stepped back and turned to the rest of the camp. “A round of applause for a wonderful performance!”
The applause was loud, echoing off the floor and ceiling, intermixed with wolf whistles and cat calls, and Joshua actually ducked his head slightly as he made his way back to his table and let the boys dive for their pants. His mind was still on Carter’s words and he couldn’t help smiling as he sat down and the applause died out.
“Why are you smiling?” Dorian asked when most of the boys were dressed and the rest of the camp had returned to their breakfasts.
“Hm?” Joshua asked distractedly, looking at him and shaking himself slightly. “Nothing.”
Dorian frowned but didn’t say anything else, and Joshua grabbed a pair of his shorts off the table instead.
*
“It’s been too long,” Carter murmured as Joshua stepped into the shower stall, twitching the curtains shut behind him and greeting Carter by pushing him back against the cold tile, ignoring the slight hiss he gave as his bare back hit and Joshua stepped under the warm spray of water from above.
He couldn’t agree more, and now that they were finally alone for more than a few minutes, he intended to take full advantage.
Pushing his mouth against Carter’s, he was rewarded when Carter didn’t hesitate a second to thread his fingers through his hair and drag him in closer, biting at his mouth, tongue sliding wetly over his bottom lip, and Carter groaned, low and rough in the back of his throat, sending a pang of want shooting through Joshua. The heat spread from his stomach, rising along his collar bone and seeping into his cock as he shoved Carter back against the wall under the spray of water dripping over them.
The bathroom was empty, and it was late. It was dark except a row of dim lights dangling over the sinks and the light of the moon falling in through the open window on the back wall, white light gilding over the old, cracked tiles and creeping in over the stall wall where Joshua had Carter cornered, hands roaming over his skin, sliding over Carter’s torso, thumbs anchoring against his hips, fingers pressing into the skin as Carter groaned softly, mouth closing heatedly over Joshua’s.
Carter’s kisses hadn’t changed since the first time, all those years ago, when a stupid dare had found Joshua sneaking up to Carter in the back of the campfire circle, heart pounding wildly as he’d tapped him on the shoulder, and pulse thundering in his ears when Carter had turned and Joshua had kissed him. He’d just kissed him without any pretense, any nervous stuttering, anything, and to his huge surprise, Carter had kissed him back.
It had been that way ever since and Joshua never wanted it to change.
Carter’s fingers were on his chin, tipping his head up into the kiss, fingers slipping on the wet skin, and Joshua’s own tightened over Carter’s hips.
Breaking away panting, Joshua kissed his way down Carter’s scratchy jaw, feeling the slight burn against his lips, nipping at the skin. Mouthing at Carter’s jaw, he felt Carter’s arm slide around his neck, warm and strong, hand falling over his shoulder blade while the other rubbed slowly around his side and to his lower back.
“God,” Carter breathed quietly, eyes sliding shut as Joshua slipped further down, dropping to his knees in the stall.
The water was starting to steam up the stall, clouds of moisture swirling around them as Joshua pushed Carter’s legs apart. Water streamed down from his hair, beads clinging to his back, rivulets dribbling down the back of his neck as Carter reached for his short hair, fingers sliding in the wet locks and closing over them gently as he stretched back, eyes opening and glancing down.
Joshua’s cock twitched eagerly as he was faced with Carter’s, thick and hard, and something in Joshua’s stomach contracted as Carter’s fingers tightened in his hair slightly.
“Josh,” Carter murmured, and Joshua didn’t even care that he was using his name. He wanted to hear his name, wanted to hear Carter say it.
For some reason, he felt weirdly nervous as he reached for Carter’s prick, his fingers wrapping around the hot skin, swallowing down the feeling as Carter moaned, head tipping back with a soft thump against the tile.
The weight of it was familiar, almost comforting, as Joshua adjusted his position slightly, knees against the hard floor. Working his hand slowly down the length, he listened for the sharp changes in Carter’s breathing, the way he bit back his noises, fingers tightening and loosening rhythmically in Joshua’s hair.
Leaning in, Joshua didn’t lose any time running his tongue up the underside of the hard cock, sliding over the ridges and swiping over the head as Carter sucked in a breath, fingers clenching. His hand sliding up, Joshua glanced up once, taking in the angles of Carter’s jaw, tilted back, the slight curve of his chest down to his hips, but it didn’t last long before he took Carter in completely, mouth closing over his prick and sucking.
He heard Carter’s half-formed curse before he bit it back, felt the way Carter’s hips shifted, trying not to jerk into his mouth, to choke him, but Joshua wanted it. He’d been waiting over ten months for this, for the moment when he’d hear Carter gasp out his name, when he’d mumble those things he always did, about Joshua’s mouth and his hands and how good, how fucking good it was.
Carter was panting, tilting his head to stare down, meeting Joshua’s eyes as Joshua moved. He sucked hard, tongue flicking over Carter’s prick, tasting the salty precum, letting the head slide against the inside of his cheek. Carter’s moan was choked this time and his hips were moving before he could stop himself. His fingers tangled in Joshua’s wet hair, and amidst the hot water spraying down and Carter’s cock in his mouth, Joshua groaned softly, reaching down to palm his own throbbing erection, desperately needing some kind of stimulation.
“Josh,” Carter was mumbling, licking his bottom lip, hips pushing up into Joshua’s mouth, and Joshua let him, relaxing his throat, sliding his tongue over the prick until Carter was just panting loudly, his free hand scrabbling for Joshua’s shoulder, fingers digging into his neck as he bit back a curse. “Josh.”
Joshua’s hand moved quickly now, jerking along with his mouth, and his other hand, wet with water from the shower, slid between Carter’s legs, rubbing along his balls and along the back of his thighs, stroking slow, careful lines down his skin until Carter was mumbling incoherently about Joshua’s mouth and trying to warn him before he came.
Joshua pulled off seconds before, tilting back just enough that the hot stripe of cum painted his jaw and neck as he sat there, palming his own dick and watching the slight tremble in Carter’s legs as he tried to catch his breath.
“God,” Carter breathed as he leaned back and Joshua pushed himself up slowly, rubbing at his knees and stumbling back under the hot spray of water, hand closing around his cock as Carter didn’t open his eyes for a moment. It didn’t take Carter long, though.
As soon as Joshua let out a slow breath as his hand dragged down, Carter was there, crowding him in under the shower head, an arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him in close, his other hand sliding down and taking Joshua’s place.
Relaxing, Joshua melted into Carter’s touch, clutching at his shoulders as Carter jerked him off quickly. The heat from the shower combined with the rough drag of Carter’s fingers was almost too much and he muffled his moan in Carter’s wet shoulder, biting down as his hips jerked involuntarily into Carter’s grip.
“Mmm,” Carter hummed against Joshua’s neck, mouthing along the skin under his ear, teeth worrying a small patch before sweeping his tongue over the reddened spot.
Joshua’s thigh was pressed to Carter’s and Joshua came with a groan, heat exploding in his stomach and spreading as he pushed his cock in against Carter’s warm inner thigh, cum smearing over the skin. Gasping, his fingers tightened on Carter’s shoulder, nails digging into the skin, and he panted for breath as he swallowed.
His limbs felt heavy as he smoothed his hands over the markings on the back of Carter’s shoulders gently.
“Sorry,” he muttered, but Carter only shook his head, reaching up and washing away the cum on Joshua’s neck and jaw before leaning in to kiss him, slow and deep, tongue sliding into his mouth as Joshua’s eyes closed.
The water cascaded down, washing away any remaining evidence, and Joshua knew he had to get back soon, but he just didn’t want to.
“Joshua,” Joshua murmured finally when the kiss broke and Carter lingered there, a hand on his jaw, thumb brushing under his lip.
“What?” Carter asked as Joshua sighed softly, contently.
“I don’t go by Josh anymore,” he replied, “not since high school.”
“Why?” Carter asked, leaning around to kiss his neck as Joshua tilted his head back, closing his eyes and pretending that he wasn’t going to have to leave in a few minutes, that in a few months, he wouldn’t be saying goodbye to Carter for another school year.
“It felt more mature, you know, a change from high school,” he mumbled as Carter hummed against his neck.
They didn’t often get to talk, Joshua thought, as Carter sucked on his earlobe. When they were alone, they were usually doing something like this, and they didn’t seem to talk much when they were around other people either.
“High school only ended last year,” Carter pointed out as he stepped away finally, turning Joshua around and smoothing his hands over his shoulders, slick under the water, and Joshua nodded. It felt nice, this moment, like for a minute, they were something more than just fuck buddies who hooked up during the summers and then pretended neither existed the rest of the year. “You don’t have to grow up right now.” He pressed a kiss to Joshua’s shoulder. “Don’t want this to end, do you?”
A small frown twitched Joshua’s mouth as he stood there. What did that mean? He didn’t want to ask, though, didn’t really want to find out, so he didn’t say anything as he stood there and listened to the water hitting the floor and concentrated on Carter’s hands resting against his waist, warm and heavy and familiar.
*
In between the back and forth pranks, the weekly hikes, and Joshua’s increasing avoidance of morning sports hour, the days seemed to pass in a blur of sun-dappled trails and early morning wakeup calls to flood Cedar cabin or put sand in their shoes or spend a particularly long morning cleaning their own cabin, picking off every bit of annoying silly string stuck to every surface.
Camp was definitely the best part of Joshua’s year, and not only because the rest of it had been so awful, but because it was like taking a break to breathe in the middle of everything. It was leaving everything behind for a few months, like something suspended in time.
The past year, his freshman year of college, had not gone like he’d expected. He’d expected it to be utterly amazing and interesting and that he’d meet a ton of new people. Instead, it had been draining and hard and he’d lived for his time away from it. Part of it was just due to the school. It was a state school, one he hadn’t been particularly interested in, but he hadn’t known what he wanted to do and it had seemed the best option at the time. In retrospect, though, he wished he’d chosen somewhere else.
Camp was an escape from all that, though. It was seeing old friends and falling back into easy routines and not having to worry about anything beyond that.
Now he lived for time spent with Carter, for stolen moments during arts and crafts sessions, for time planning pranks with his cabin and watching kids come out of their shells. He watched friendships form, duos and trios popping up within the cabin. All except for Dorian.
Dorian remained the outsider, always curled up in his bunk with nary a positive thing to add, and the object of teasing from Logan and sometimes Michael. Joshua had tried to talk to him, but Dorian just didn’t want to talk so he left him alone to sulk and hate his life. As long as he wasn’t attempting to drown himself, Joshua figured there wasn’t too much to worry about.
His favorite part of camp, now that he was a counselor and aside from getting out of sports and being able to sneak away with Carter without worrying about being caught by someone in charge, was the time he got to spend with the other counselors in the cafeteria relaying their daily trials and tribulations.
“Hey, ladies,” Joshua greeted Britney and Faith as he plopped down onto one of the benches where they were sitting, apparently having an amusing conversation since Faith was giggling at something and Britney looked something less than pissed for once as Joshua sat down.
“Hey, Tramp,” Faith greeted him brightly and Britney only eyed him as if he was intruding on something private. He ignored her.
“Whatcha talking about?” he asked, casting a quick glance down the table, spotting Carter down at the end talking with Brian.
“Buttercup was telling me about her boyfriend,” Faith replied, and Britney actually smiled. Joshua didn’t think he’d seen her do that since last summer.
“Ah, yes, the boyfriend,” Joshua said interestedly, turning more towards her and grinning. “Do tell. Did you trap him in your womanly net?”
Britney tossed him a patronizing look, much more what he was used to, and Joshua didn’t stop grinning.
“We met in Philosophy class,” she said coolly. “He asked to borrow a pen.”
“But you let him borrow much more than that, didn’t you?” Joshua asked ribbingly despite her unamused glare, lips tight as though she thoroughly disapproved of his insinuations.
“Some of us have class,” she snapped and Joshua rolled his eyes while Faith laughed slightly. “Landers is a gentleman.”
“Landers?” Joshua snorted and Britney shot him a glare.
“His roommate, on the other hand…”
“What’s wrong with his roommate?” Faith piped up, pulling back her messy brown hair into a ponytail and tying it up.
Britney frowned as if she thoroughly disapproved of the roommate too. Joshua wondered if she approved of anyone. Maybe Landers.
“He’s a pig, goes from girl to girl without a second thought. He’s got this ‘friend with benefits’ girl.”
Faith made an understanding noise and Joshua frowned this time.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked as Britney shot him a look and Faith raised an eyebrow.
“It never works out,” she said simply.
“Yes, it can,” Joshua argued but Faith shook her head.
“Someone always gets more attached.” She shrugged, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “It’s just a fact of the situation, I guess.”
“Well, how do you know?”
Joshua knew Faith had no idea about him and Carter, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was being attacked. Britney, on the other hand, didn’t say anything, sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest and just listening attentively. He had a feeling she thoroughly approved of what Faith was saying.
Faith looked surprised at his tone, slightly aggressive, and he sat back a little, getting a grip on himself. She didn’t know. She was just talking. And besides, what did it matter if that did happen? Sometimes it could be a good thing.
“I don’t,” she said finally. “I just, you know, have friends, and it doesn’t usually work.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Joshua apologized with a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing down at Carter, but Carter was still talking to Brian and clearly not listening at all. “I just think it can work, and even if it doesn’t, maybe it’ll work out for the better.”
Faith looked skeptical but she shrugged. “Maybe.”
Britney was frowning again, but Joshua wasn’t paying attention to her, lost in his own thoughts. Glancing at the clock above the kitchens, he pushed himself up from the table.
“I gotta get my kids,” he said easily. “I’ll see you guys later.”
As he left the cafeteria, he didn’t look back to see if anyone was watching, and headed on his own towards the arts and crafts area.
With all the campers at different activities, the path through the cabins was quiet aside from birds and insects buzzing around in the warm treetops. Joshua took the long way, passing by the lake where the younger kids were swimming and Hilary, the lifeguard, was blowing her whistle at a pair playing chicken in shallow water.
Joshua passed on, kicking the dirt and dried, dead leaves in front of him. The wind rustled the leaves still clinging to the trees above him, and Joshua told himself to forget about what Faith had said. Friends with benefits could work. It had worked for him and Carter for nearly three years now.
The arts and crafts area wasn’t too far away, and when Joshua got there, he found his campers along with the girls from Britney’s cabin sitting around the picnic tables, pieces of embroidery floss scattered everywhere. The arts and crafts counselor, Alex, a knobbly-kneed stoner with dishwater blond dreadlocks and a nose ring, was waxing on about the art of embroidery floss. Most of the kids didn’t appear to be paying him any attention, especially Dorian, who was glaring furiously at Logan, who was laughing at something. At the sight of Joshua, Dorian jumped up, arms tight across his chest unraveling as he stomped past him.
Joshua watched him curiously as he stopped a few feet away, clearly ready to leave.
“Hey, guys, time for a little R and R before the hike this afternoon,” he said, gesturing the boys up. Alex looked around dazedly, as if he hadn’t realized Joshua was there. The girls at the table were giggling together, especially when one, the short one with red hair, glanced at Dorian and he bristled. She giggled harder with her friends and Dorian glared. Logan climbed up from the bench but not before whispering something in the girl’s ear.
Dorian turned, stalking down the path, and Joshua called after him.
“Hey, wait up, Dor!” He looked back at his cabin. Logan was smirking and Joshua frowned. “What happened?”
“Oh, he’s just embarrassed,” Logan crooned and a few of the guys grinned. “Puppy love is so cute, isn’t it?” The guys laughed and Dorian stopped down the path, body stiffening as he listened. “I mean, he’s never even kissed a girl, so of course he’s scared.”
“Fuck you!” Dorian exploded, turning back sharply and marching up to Logan, who didn’t look scared in the least, not with Dorian, who was a good two inches shorter than him (although he was by no means the shortest in the group) and still a little scrawny in body, looming before him.
Quickly, Joshua stepped in, pushing Dorian away while Logan and the other boys laughed. He didn’t want any blood.
“I have so kissed a girl,” Dorian snapped, trying to push away Joshua’s arm, but Joshua was bigger and stronger than him so it wasn’t much use. “You’re the one who probably spends all his time fantasizing that one will even look at you, you little motherf-”
“Okay,” Joshua interrupted loudly, putting both hands on Dorian’s shoulders and holding him at arm’s length. Dorian was breathing heavily, glaring with all the hatred he could muster at Logan, who now looked slightly annoyed at Dorian’s words. “That’s enough, you two. Let’s go calm down, and I don’t want to hear another word about how many girls anyone has kissed, okay?”
Logan sneered slightly and Dorian just glared, trying to kill him with his eyes apparently. Sighing, Joshua waved to Alex who was still sitting on the picnic table, and Alex waved back vaguely, already returning to his story about embroidery floss.
*
They didn’t get much rest or relaxation when they got back to their cabin and found several wild birds flittering wildly around the ceiling, hopping from bed post to bed post, making it impossible to catch them or even get them out the front door. It wasn’t until all five of the birds had finally darted out the open door, feathers scattering behind them that Joshua noticed the little piece of paper signed with cedar cabin’s name on the floor.
Too exhausted to actually care, Joshua just rounded up his kids, getting them ready for the hike and herding them out the door. Dorian didn’t linger at all, keen to put a great distance between himself and the rest of the cabin, and Joshua didn’t stop him as they reached the field where everyone was gathered.
The camp director was there, shouting out orders to the groups and practically vibrating with excitement as everyone split off into groups and headed for the trail head.
Joshua’s cabin wasn’t too enthusiastic and only trudged along behind him, although Dorian was more than a few feet ahead. Joshua just kept a close watch in case he decided to throw himself off the hillside at some point along the hike.
The mountain was one they climbed every year, around sharp bends and gentle inclines, past shivering trees and golden, blowing grasses. The view was always stunning as they climbed; the valley spread out below them, golden and green, dotted with clusters of trees and other rolling hills in the distance. The sky was a perfect robin’s egg blue, speckled with fluffy white clouds and ruffled only by a light breeze coming from the south.
The boys dispersed a little as they walked and Joshua didn’t try to keep them together. Obviously, it was one of those days. He figured it was better to just let things cool off and hopefully nothing would get worse.
“Hey.”
Carter appeared at Joshua’s shoulder as they rounded the top of a particularly steep incline and most of the kids came panting over the crest.
“Hey,” Joshua replied tiredly, not even in the mood to pretend they were enemies in war. He just wanted this day over with.
Carter gave him a questioning look as they walked along, the path leveling out for a minute, just long enough to catch their breaths. Their fearless leader, or the director, was at the head of the line shouting encouragements but they fell on mostly deaf ears.
“Everything okay?” Carter asked as the path narrowed to only fit two people and they had to slow down to let everyone file in.
Sighing, Joshua shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. My kids are just being… teenagers.”
Carter smiled as they walked, and Joshua glanced at Dorian ahead of him, who was stubbornly walking by himself.
“Did you guys get back to your cabin yet?”
Joshua almost smiled. “Yeah, the birds were a nice touch.”
“They were Eric’s idea.”
“Do all your campers get along?” Joshua asked suddenly as he tripped over a root and Carter caught him, hands wrapping around his arm as he pulled him back up. Joshua’s eyes were drawn to Carter’s hands that lingered for a moment too long before pulling away.
“Mostly,” Carter replied, stopping a branch from hitting Joshua in the face.
Joshua sighed. “I just don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “Dorian is so unhappy.”
“Come on,” Carter said reassuringly, and Joshua glanced at him helplessly. “You’re great with kids. It’ll work itself out.”
“Easy for you to say,” Joshua replied as they trooped along and he glanced back to check on the rest of his cabin. The boys looked tired and were red in the face as they started up yet another hill. “Your kids don’t explode over simple teasing about kissing girls.”
Carter laughed at that. “Don’t you remember my first summer here? Everyone was being teased about kissing. It was that age.”
“Thank God that’s over, huh?” Joshua asked as Carter smiled.
“Yup. Don’t have to worry about who to kiss anymore.” He sent Joshua a small wink before patting him on the shoulder. “Anyway, I gotta get back to my kids. Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Joshua deadpanned as Carter sped up to join his group closer to where Dorian was walking. He did smile slightly, though, as he watched Carter before frowning to himself and slowing down to join his own campers.
*
As Joshua brushed feathers off his sleeping bag that night before climbing in and switching off the light, he glanced at Dorian’s bed, but Dorian was already buried deep in the sleeping bag, the flap pulled over his head, and he wasn’t moving. Michael was on the bunk above him, staring at the ceiling, and Logan on the top bunk across. The rest of the campers were quiet, exhausted from the hike, and Joshua was glad.
He flipped off the light without a word and the cabin was cast into darkness. The only sounds were the intermittent rustling of sleeping bags and the crickets coming in from outside.
As he lay there, he didn’t think about getting up and seeing if Carter was awake somewhere. Instead, Faith’s words from earlier floated back to him, as if from a dream. The morning seemed so far away now.
Someone always gets more attached.
What did she really know about it anyway? Joshua was the one in the situation, not her. He didn’t know why it was bothering him so much. He and Carter had a good relationship going. It was just mutual fun that didn’t need to be explained and no emotions needed to be attached.
Rolling over, he stared at the faint slat of moonlight falling onto the floor of the cabin. His thoughts flickered for a moment to the old, dusty box hidden under the loose floorboard beneath his bunk. It hadn’t been opened in nearly three years, not since he had hidden it there.
He didn’t pull it out now, just raised his eyes to Dorian’s sleeping form, breathing coming slowly and evenly. For once, he wasn’t angry, just peaceful.
His thoughts drifted to Carter again as he lay there, to his smile and the way his hands had lingered on him earlier. Was it possible? No, he was just being crazy, he told himself. He and Carter were just friends who happened to hook up. It wasn’t as if they ever talked outside of camp. How could anyone have developed feelings? Except that when he wasn’t at camp, Joshua had thought about Carter. The few weeks before camp had started, it had been all he’d thought about. Not just camp, but the people, the friends… Carter.
Turning over again, Joshua told himself to stop thinking about it. It wasn’t a big deal, the way he felt or what he thought about. It was perfectly normal between friends and there was nothing to worry about.
With that thought, Joshua closed his eyes and told himself firmly to go to sleep. There was nothing he could do, and nothing he wanted to do.
*
“Tramp. Tramp? Tramp!”
Joshua jerked slightly as someone waved a hand in front of his face and he pushed it away to find Michael there, giving him a strange look. The rest of the table was watching him, clearly waiting for an answer and Joshua frowned.
“What?” he asked, blinking down at his half-eaten eggs. The cafeteria was filled with campers, all clinking with their silverware and talking, voices echoing around them. Joshua had been distracted staring at Carter a few tables over, although Carter hadn’t seemed to notice.
“Are we gonna get Cedar back for the birds? I found another feather in my shoe this morning.”
“Well, of course we are,” Joshua replied obviously, tearing his thoughts away from Carter and trying to focus on his cabin. Beside him, Dorian was just poking at his food and looking completely uninterested.
“We should do something with animals,” Sam piped up from next to Michael.
“No spiders,” Ewan interjected, and a few other boys nodded in agreement.
“How about a snake in sleeping bag?” Logan suggested. Dorian shot Logan a look but didn’t say anything, sinking down further on the bench.
“Good luck catching a snake,” Joshua put in, but he paused as he thought. “There might be something, but it’ll require some sacrificing on your parts.”
He shouldn’t have even bothered as the boys all perked up eagerly. He smiled, glad to have something else to focus on, and glad that for once, none of his campers were fighting, although Dorian, for one, didn’t look excited at the prospect of sacrifice. He didn’t argue, though, just stabbed his eggs instead.
*
Joshua sat on the hill overlooking the lake, nestled under the cooling shade of the one of the many trees that popped up on the crest. His campers were mere dots in their canoes, and he thought he could see one of them wobble dangerously as they rounded a small, swampy island.
He wasn’t really surprised when Carter appeared beside him, settling down onto the dried grass beside him and glancing over. Joshua didn’t react, watching the canoes drift further downstream.
“How’re the campers?” Carter asked finally, looking to the lake also. His own campers were mixed in there somewhere.
“Same,” Joshua replied with a small sigh. “Yours?”
Carter shrugged. “Yeah, same.” He smiled slightly, glancing at Joshua. “There’s a full moon tonight.”
“Really?” Joshua asked, meeting Carter’s eyes for a minute, catching the sparkle there. Carter ruffled his hair and sat back on his hands as he nodded.
“Yeah. What are the chances I might find you out on a midnight stroll?”
Something in Joshua’s stomach jumped excitedly but he pushed it down as he looked back to the lake. “Sorry, I have plans.”
“Plans?” Carter asked curiously. “With who, might I ask?”
“With my cabin.”
“Oh,” Carter said thoughtfully, shifting up, and Joshua tried not to react as Carter scooted closer, reaching for his jaw and tilting his head to the side gently as he leaned in, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses to his neck. Joshua’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the gentle touch but he tried to pull himself together before he could be swayed or before any unwanted thoughts crept into his mind about just how nice this was and how he could really get used to this. “And it’s going to take all night?”
“It’s a…” Joshua started but stopped as Carter’s tongue slid into his ear and he lost his train of thought. “… A bonding thing, you know… since the boys have been… oh God.”
“I get it,” Carter murmured, sliding away with a last hot kiss pressed to his jaw, tongue sliding teasingly against his skin. “No big deal.”
Joshua glanced at him as Carter settled back onto the grass, apparently completely at ease with the situation. Swallowing, he squashed his flip-flopping stomach and looked back to the lake.
“Yeah, no big deal.”
*
“Now, the trick,” Joshua whispered as he crouched down next to the water’s edge, the water lapping against the bank, gleaming in the light of the full moon. He had a flashlight in one hand and a bucket set down on the ground beside him, and he gesturing in the boys around him and the patch of marshy grass alongside the bank. “Is to be quick and don’t shine the light in their eyes or they’ll jump away.”
Pressing a finger to his lips, he pointed into the grass where a load croaking was coming from. Flicking off his flashlight, he set it down and inched forward, hands shooting into the bush and he came out with a small, struggling frog.
Logan’s face lit up as he stared at the frog and Joshua dropped it into the bucket, setting a book on top.
“Make sure you put the book back or it’ll just jump out,” he told them. “Try to get as many as you can in the next half hour. We’re not really supposed to be out this late without permission.”
The boys scattered, whispering between themselves as they followed the sounds of the frogs croaking on the bank.
There were plenty of frogs to go around and it wasn’t long before the boys were catching the wet, slimy frogs and dropping them in the bucket. Joshua caught a few, but mostly kept an eye out to make sure no one wandered off.
On the bank, Dorian was just kneeling by a patch of grass, clearly not looking to catch any frogs.
“No good frogs?” Joshua asked as he came over and dropped down next to him, checking to make sure Logan was still in sight.
“This is dumb,” Dorian muttered.
“Have you ever gone frog catching before?”
“No,” Dorian muttered again, like it should have been obvious, eyeing Joshua, who nodded.
“Well, then at least it’s something new and dumb.” He smiled, giving Dorian’s arm a playful push. “Come on, you can’t hate everything.”
“Yeah, I can,” Dorian grumbled despite Joshua’s laugh.
“You shouldn’t. Life is supposed to be fun, and you’re only fifteen. Plenty of time to hate life later. Why start now?”
Dorian eyed him carefully, and Joshua shrugged. Standing up, he pulled Dorian up with him.
“Let’s go dump some frogs in Cedar.”
Sighing, Dorian just detached his arm and followed along.
*
“Word around the flagpole is you had an infestation last night.”
Joshua didn’t try to hide his smirk as Carter sighed, pushing back his hair and shaking his head as he glanced at Nicole, who was perched on the table, arms on her knees and grinning at Carter.
“How’d you know about that?” Carter asked, and Nicole shrugged.
“The girlish screams carried.”
Carter groaned. “Britney.”
Nicole laughed. “She is next door.”
“And has a big mouth.”
“So it’s not true?” Nicole asked, tightening her pony tail, and Joshua didn’t react as Carter tossed him a knowing glance. “You didn’t find hundreds of little frogs leaping all around your cabin this morning? I hope you didn’t squish any of them.”
“Just a couple,” Carter muttered. He shivered slightly. “Ugh, I feel like I need another shower. The scream Britney heard was probably Eric. He woke up with one on his face.”
Joshua couldn’t help as his grin widened and he stared down at the letter he was supposed to be writing home. It was only half-finished and he doubted he would finish it at all, especially when Carter huffed at him.
“Like I don’t know who did it,” he said obviously and Joshua straightened his face into something resembling innocence.
“The toads?”
Nicole laughed while Carter shook his head.
“We’re going to get you back, don’t you worry.”
“I’m not,” Joshua replied simply, smiling sweetly. His stomach did a stupid little flip as Carter’s eyes rested on him a minute longer, grey and calm as if trying to see through him for whatever other secrets he might have been hiding. He wasn’t sure what he hoped Carter saw, but the edges of Carter’s mouth twitched up for barely a second before he looked away.
“You just wait.”
Joshua turned away, smiling to himself, as Nicole sighed fondly between them.
“You boys.”
*
The next few days passed uneventfully, which only made Joshua more suspicious, but he wasn’t going to worry about it. Cedar cabin would retaliate when they were good and ready, he knew, and there was no point dwelling on things he couldn’t control. His campers seemed somehow convinced that they’d somehow won a battle, although Joshua warned them not to drop their guards for a minute.
At the moment, though, his boys were far more interested in staring at Britney in her bikini on the lakeshore than in whatever Cedar might be planning.
Joshua couldn’t blame them.
It was another gorgeous day with not a cloud in the sky, the sun burning overhead, and they had a few extra hours just to relax and take a break in the cool lake waters. The three cabins of fifteen year olds were all scattered over the shore and in the water. Hilary watched attentively from her lifeguard post, but no one seemed in danger of drowning at the moment.
Joshua let his feet dangle in the water from where he sat on the floating dock a ways away from the shore. Most of his campers were busy ogling Britney sun tanning despite the annoyed looks of the girls from her cabin. The red-haired girl that had been giggling at Dorian the week before was eyeing him eagerly, but Dorian seemed to have no interest in talking or even looking at her.
Joshua’s eyes drifted to Carter near the shore, where he was splashing around with a few of his campers boisterously. Since he was pretty much alone out on the dock, Joshua could take the time to admire the way the water shined on Carter’s chest and the way he shied away from getting his hair any wetter than it needed to be. The sight made Joshua smile. Carter was so weird about his keeping his hair perfectly mussed, like it always had to look like he’d just been well-fucked. Joshua wished it was actually true.
A dangerous wobble of the dock brought Joshua’s eyes snapping away from Carter and he glanced over to find Dorian hauling himself out of the water to sit on the dock beside him. Surprised, Joshua tried not to show it.
“Hey,” he greeted Dorian easily, watching the way the water ripples echoed out from where Dorian’s feet dangled. The water was a dark blue, fading into a murky brown the deeper it got.
Dorian just nodded vaguely, hands curled around the edge of the dock, and he was staring at his feet, distorted in the water.
Breathing in deeply, Joshua looked back at Carter. He had one of his kids in a headlock while the other two boys jumped on his back. His laugh was loud, smile wide, and Joshua could hear it from here. He wondered for a second how Carter would feel about doing something more.
Carter was already affectionate with him, Joshua thought, but then again, this had been going on for three years already, and they were friends. Maybe Carter was like that with all his friends. Something unpleasant clenched Joshua’s stomach as he entertained the thought of Carter hooking up with his other friends, but he quickly pushed it away.
Instead, he looked at Dorian. Dorian was still staring at his feet, floppy hair falling awkwardly into his eyes, the tips wet from the lake. His shoulder blades had taken on a reddish tint, the beginnings of a sunburn, and Joshua reminded himself to tell Dorian to put on more sunblock. He looked less angry for once and a little awkward as he sat there silently.
“Why aren’t you over with the rest of the guys?” Joshua asked. “Buttercup’s bathing suit is a tie-on.”
Dorian raised his eyes to across the lake where half the rest of the cabin was debating who could go talk to Britney. He didn’t reply immediately, biting his bottom lip and looking back at his feet.
“Can I tell you something?” he mumbled down at the dock. The water lapped gently against the edge with a quiet slapping noise as the dock rocked in the wind.
“Sure, you can tell me anything,” Joshua answered brightly, kicking gently at a small fish that darted up to his toes. It scattered immediately.
Dorian hesitated. “You swear you won’t tell anyone? No one?”
Pausing, Joshua glanced at him and the way he seemed to be scrunching himself up as small as he could on the dock. “Yeah,” he replied slowly. “Your secrets are safe with me.”
Dorian sighed, uncurling his hands from the edge of the dock and dropping them into his lap. He looked away from Joshua, to the other bank that curved away from camp into the woods.
“I didn’t want to come to camp,” he said finally, and Joshua watched him carefully.
“Yeah, you’ve made that pretty clear,” he said with a smile, but Dorian didn’t echo it or even look back.
“My parents made me come,” Dorian went on slowly. “They didn’t want to… deal with me, I guess.”
Joshua didn’t understand as Dorian paused, frowning down at his hands. He looked up after a second, glancing at Joshua quickly as though scared Joshua would somehow figure it out if he looked too long.
“Before summer, I… I sort of told my parents-” He swallowed nervously, staring back at the water as though it might well up and swallow him to save him the embarrassment or horror of whatever he was about to say. “-I sort of told them that I’m… gay.” He paused, biting his lip, as if Joshua was about to explode, but Joshua just blinked slowly. With a fearful glance, he went on. “So they shipped me off to camp. I, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I was wrong.”
Joshua could tell he didn’t mean that. Sighing, he ran a hand through his short hair and sat back on his hands. Dorian carefully avoided his eyes.
“Could have been worse,” he said finally, and he could see Dorian frown, confused. “They could have sent you off to military school.”
“They got rid of me,” Dorian replied harshly, finally turning to stare at Joshua. “They just sent me away!”
“It takes some people a while,” Joshua said wisely, and Dorian looked as though he didn’t believe him in the least. “But you’re pretty brave, coming out to your parents.”
“What do you know about it?” Dorian snapped, back to his standoffish behavior.
Joshua paused. He hadn’t planned on telling any of his campers about his personal life. Personal life wasn’t for camp. The line seemed to have been blurred lately, though, so what did it matter at this point?
“Well,” he said slowly, kicking the water slightly and watching the ripples. “When I told my parents I didn’t want to take a girl to the prom, I was terrified. I was sure they were going to freak out, throw me out or, I don’t know. I had all these crazy thoughts.”
Dorian stared at him now, eyes wide, completely still as they sat on the dock.
“But they were just thoughts, and none of them came true, although sometimes my dad does like to rib me about not carrying on the family name.”
“You-” Dorian started, eyes still wide, and his mouth was hanging open but he closed it after a second as he shook himself. “You’re…”
Joshua shrugged with a small smile. “You’re not the only one, you know. Don’t worry about your parents. Summer camp is supposed to help you forget everything, not make things worse.”
Dorian shook his head slowly. “You talk about this place like it’s magical or something.”
“It kind of is,” Joshua said, laughing to himself.
Dorian only sighed, looking across the lake to where Logan was now attempting to talk to Britney. She was rebuffing his attempts from the perplexed look on his face.
“How do you know if you like someone?” he asked hesitatingly. “Like, really like someone?”
Joshua shrugged. “The same way you do with anyone. Being gay doesn’t mean you feel things differently. You’re still human.”
“Yeah, but I never… I mean, I haven’t… with a guy…” Dorian trailed away, sounding embarrassed, and staring down at his feet again.
“Don’t worry,” Joshua said with a grin. “It’ll happen. You kissed a girl before, right?”
“Once,” Dorian admitted. “It was… not good.”
Laughing, Joshua resisted the urge to ruffle his hair like a five-year old. “It’ll get better, especially when you find someone you actually like.”
Dorian looked less than convinced as he sat back slightly, looking away from the shore finally.
“Have you ever been in love?” Dorian asked instead, still sounding slightly skeptical, and Joshua paused.
His immediate response would have been no considering he’d barely had a real boyfriend. There had been relationships, sure, but they’d never lasted longer than a few months, maybe, at the most. In fact, if he thought about it, Carter really was his longest-lasting relationship. It wasn’t like they were dating or anything either, so he couldn’t possibly be in love with him.
He couldn’t help his eyes from drifting to Carter, though, watching the way he laughed, loud and open. Despite the years that had passed, he hadn’t changed that much except perhaps physically. He was bigger, sturdier, and he had stubble now. His smile was still the same with the slight dimple on the corner of his left cheek, his messy hair, and sparkling grey eyes. He gave warm hugs and perfect kisses and he was always genuinely happy to see Joshua.
Love, though. He’d never been with anyone long enough to find out. Last year, he’d barely gone out let alone dated anyone. He’d spent most of the weeks leading up to camp just dreaming about the moment he’d get Carter alone.
It was that thought that jolted him and he blinked quickly, realizing that Dorian was still waiting for a response. Sitting back, he quirked a small smile.
“No,” he replied finally, eyes still on Carter across the lake. “Not yet.”
He heard Dorian sigh, but he wasn’t worried about him at the moment. He just smiled slightly and sat back, eyes on Carter’s smile.
*
The sunlight was streaming in through the window and it was nearly eight o’clock, but it wasn’t the sun or the inevitable trumpet call that woke Joshua. Something tickled his cheek as he lay there, brushing at his face, but it was the strangled yell that jerked him awake.
“Whassgoinnon?” someone mumbled sleepily and Joshua pushed himself up to see Ewan scrambling away from his sleeping back, scrubbing at his arms frantically.
“Spider, there’s a spider!” he yelped, but more boys were awake now and rubbing their eyes sleepily.
“That’s not a spider,” Logan said, staring over the edge of his bunk to Ewan below him. “It’s a cricket.”
“Well, it was a giant cricket,” Ewan spat as Logan laughed at him.
Logan wasn’t laughing long, though, as he jumped and nearly fell off his bunk.
“What was that?!” he demanded, yanking up his sleeping bag and peering inside. “There’s something…”
But Joshua wasn’t looking at Logan anymore. He was staring at the floor instead. The wooden boards were covered, almost every inch, with dark brown crickets, hopping and chirping. There was one on the top of his sleeping bag that Joshua brushed away easily.
“Crickets!” Michael said as Logan dug inside his sleeping bag for the one that had apparently taken up residence there.
“Oh, they’re good,” Joshua murmured as a few more boys jumped from crickets nestled in their sleeping bags.
“They’re everywhere!” Sam cried as he pushed a few off his sleeping bag and they just leapt onto another bed.
Dorian was watching Logan disentangle himself from his sleeping bag, looking mussed and entirely displeased as the cricket dangled by its legs from in between his fingers. He dropped it over the edge of his bunk, nearly on top of Ewan, who jumped again and sent him a dirty look.
“How are we going to get rid of them?” Michael asked, staring down at the cricket-covered floor. This was much worse than frogs.
Sliding gently out of his sleeping bag, Joshua brushed aside a spot big enough to put his feet down and glanced at all the crickets. Most of the boys seemed uneasy to get off their beds despite that they were only crickets.
“Sort of makes you wish we’d kept the birds, doesn’t it?” Joshua asked ruefully, smiling to himself as no one laughed and a cricket hopped onto his knee.
*
Joshua felt as though little feet were tickling him all over even as he sat at the breakfast table surrounded by chattering campers, although his own group wasn’t nearly as bouncy as normal, a few shivering every now and again, and Ewan looked paranoid, jumping every time anyone so much as brushed against him.
Their cabin was not cricket-free although they’d scooped out as many as they could. Joshua had a feeling they’d be finding crickets for weeks until they either accidentally squished them, threw them out, or they died in some hidden crevice of their cabin. He was going to kill Carter.
Carter hadn’t even acknowledged him that morning, though, and despite the mutinous glances Joshua’s cabin kept sending Cedar cabin, the boys didn’t acknowledge them either.
“We have to get them back,” Logan hissed down the table, and there was a general murmur of agreement.
“We will,” Joshua assured him calmly. “Don’t worry. All in good time.”
Logan didn’t look appeased as he sat back and muttered something to Michael that Joshua couldn’t hear. Across from Logan, Dorian had mushed his breakfast into something less than unappealing on his plate. He was gazing vaguely over at the table where Britney and her group of girls sat.
He jumped and winced, though, as Logan kicked him under the table.
“Ow,” he said angrily, glaring at Logan, who was smirking now.
“Dorian and Lauren sitting in a tree,” Logan started to sing-song, and Michael and a few other guys laughed. Dorian’s cheeks burned red, although Joshua was pretty sure it wasn’t from embarrassment.
“Shut up!” he hissed. “I don’t like her!”
“Oh?” Logan asked leeringly, grin widening and blue eyes sparkling deviously. “Then who do you like?”
The back of Dorian’s neck was red now too as he stared at Logan, and Joshua frowned for a second as he watched them, wondering how long he should wait before intervening. Maybe Dorian could handle it on his own. Logan looked like the cat that got the canary the longer Dorian didn’t respond, the longer Dorian just stared at him, expression changing from anger to something more confusing, a hint of fear and embarrassment before he tore his gaze away and it landed on his ruined breakfast.
“No one,” he muttered to his plate, and Logan laughed knowingly.
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “It’s Jenny, isn’t it? She’s much hotter.”
Dorian didn’t reply, the back of his neck hot as he kept his head down. Joshua watched him a minute longer before glancing at Logan, who was craning to check out whichever one Jenny was.
“Unless you don’t want to kiss a girl,” Logan started off after a second, as if the thought was ludicrous, but Joshua cut him off before Dorian could lash out. From the look on his face, he was two seconds from punching Logan.
“Who’s ready for archery?” he asked instead, interrupting. “Can you guys promise me you won’t shoot anyone today?”
Dorian looked slightly relieved as Logan was immediately distracted arguing that the last time was totally an accident.
Part Two >>