Love Remains The Same
Current Music: Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains The Same
I'm bored, tired and I have to go to work in an hour but I didn't sleep and don't wanna now. My insomnia is getting worse these days cuz I am only really sleeping every few days now. Any small upsetting thing keeps me up now and I just can't sleep at all and don't want to. But I hope I am just being paranoid for why I am upset, if I'm not I can't really believe it.
I've been thinking a lot about actual life lately and what I want to do with it. Well not what exactly, but a general plan. Seeing how American government sucks donkey shit.. I want to get out of this country as soon as I have enough money. I am hoping to save enough within about 8 years, at least by the time I'm 30. I'm thinking about moving to possibly Britain or one of the many island nations around there. But with me becoming a manager in the next 3-6 months possibly it would help a lot with saving money and keeping a stable job. I like really like that idea and possibility. I need to escape and live happily somewhere.. somehow.. But I can't do that here, so I gotta get out someday.
Anyway though whatever.. I am bored so I feel like spitting out random emotions and putting them to words. So lets see if I can cure this boredom with some quick thought poetry
The Toll All Must Pay
Sitting here stuck in my head
I'm creeping forward into dread
I cannot feel it
It will not sway
This furious feeling I feel today..
It rips and tears right at my soul
Sweeping me under as I pay this toll
The toll I owe for all I've done..
Lost in loss I close my eyes
As if to hide within my lies
But echoes still haunt all these halls
Screeching deep into the walls
With my memories all around me
I stand up and I try to flee
Ripped and torn as I run
I can barely see the light once blinding
And as darkness falls within my mind
The clock keeps ticking as gears unwind
Falling apart to the rhythm of love
This debt leaves me broken
With nothing left to give..
Well that wasted my time well enough. I don't think that craptastic poem really matches my emotions, but its just what came out.
(I think my poems are more like fractured thoughts broken by the spaces. Which kinda makes them not poems.. Or just bad poems.)
When I write my poems it write it like its a story.. Just seems I'm better at writing dark and depressing stories cuz whenever I try to write happy things I always think of a way it can go wrong and it goes dark. I am a bit sad right now though. It's been almost 3 days since I've talked to Jenny and that bums me out. I don't really care if its just 3 days, but it makes me sad. When I don't even know when I'll see her in person again I kinda live for those short times I get to talk to her.
Anyway.. No sleep for me again tonight cuz of a few reasons.. But now its time to take a shower and head to work until about noon.
FInal Thoughts: I hope I am just being paranoid or this lil crappy poem will be pretty close to how I will be feeling. I'll find out later though *crosses fingers and toes*
I'm bored, tired and I have to go to work in an hour but I didn't sleep and don't wanna now. My insomnia is getting worse these days cuz I am only really sleeping every few days now. Any small upsetting thing keeps me up now and I just can't sleep at all and don't want to. But I hope I am just being paranoid for why I am upset, if I'm not I can't really believe it.
I've been thinking a lot about actual life lately and what I want to do with it. Well not what exactly, but a general plan. Seeing how American government sucks donkey shit.. I want to get out of this country as soon as I have enough money. I am hoping to save enough within about 8 years, at least by the time I'm 30. I'm thinking about moving to possibly Britain or one of the many island nations around there. But with me becoming a manager in the next 3-6 months possibly it would help a lot with saving money and keeping a stable job. I like really like that idea and possibility. I need to escape and live happily somewhere.. somehow.. But I can't do that here, so I gotta get out someday.
Anyway though whatever.. I am bored so I feel like spitting out random emotions and putting them to words. So lets see if I can cure this boredom with some quick thought poetry
The Toll All Must Pay
Sitting here stuck in my head
I'm creeping forward into dread
I cannot feel it
It will not sway
This furious feeling I feel today..
It rips and tears right at my soul
Sweeping me under as I pay this toll
The toll I owe for all I've done..
Lost in loss I close my eyes
As if to hide within my lies
But echoes still haunt all these halls
Screeching deep into the walls
With my memories all around me
I stand up and I try to flee
Ripped and torn as I run
I can barely see the light once blinding
And as darkness falls within my mind
The clock keeps ticking as gears unwind
Falling apart to the rhythm of love
This debt leaves me broken
With nothing left to give..
Well that wasted my time well enough. I don't think that craptastic poem really matches my emotions, but its just what came out.
(I think my poems are more like fractured thoughts broken by the spaces. Which kinda makes them not poems.. Or just bad poems.)
When I write my poems it write it like its a story.. Just seems I'm better at writing dark and depressing stories cuz whenever I try to write happy things I always think of a way it can go wrong and it goes dark. I am a bit sad right now though. It's been almost 3 days since I've talked to Jenny and that bums me out. I don't really care if its just 3 days, but it makes me sad. When I don't even know when I'll see her in person again I kinda live for those short times I get to talk to her.
Anyway.. No sleep for me again tonight cuz of a few reasons.. But now its time to take a shower and head to work until about noon.
FInal Thoughts: I hope I am just being paranoid or this lil crappy poem will be pretty close to how I will be feeling. I'll find out later though *crosses fingers and toes*