The Getaway, and other dramatic stuff.
"Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
First you wanna be free
Now you say you need me
Giving mixed signals and signs
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
I can't keep coming back to you
Every time you're in the mood
To whisper something sweet in my ear
It's so hard to move on
Cause every time I think you're gone
You show up in my rearview mirror
Is this just a detour?
Cause I gotta be sure
That you really mean what you say
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
To a place where I can be redefined
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is I can't even say goodbye
Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway (a getaway)
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take (I can take)
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away"
-- The Getaway, by Hilary Duff.
The thing is, I don't know how anyone feels about me anymore, I'm fucking confused. The people I actually really want/need to talk to, don't talk to me. And none of them will tell me what I've done, which is really bothering me. On top of that, it seems like no one seems to notice or care when I'm upset, except Brendan (Fletcher) and Elliott, Jack has his own problems so most of the time telling him would be pretty useless, and the other times, he doesn't notice either. Sometimes I think everyone (even my own mother and father) want to by oblivious to my sadness, I've even cried in front of them, and yet, I get nothing. The sad thing is, with Elliott I have to tell him I'm upset, and he's one of my best friends, Brendan can tell from my tone of typing, even when it's the exact same words I use every other day, he just,...knows and cares, it's nice in that sense. He even offered to throw me a birthday party because he knows how upset I am that EVERYONE around here seems to be too busy to spend any time with me on my 19th birthday, or if they will consider giving time, I have to share it with a significant other of theirs. Even my own boyfriend probably can't spend the day with me. And how am I supposed to react to this? does everyone just expect me to be happy? So far if all goes well, I'm going to Ottawa for my birthday, to spend the weekend with my godmother, and hopefully see everyone there (although I don't seem to be able to talk to Paul, or a few others, so maybe it won't be as nice as I hoped), although just spending it with my godmother will suffice, I suppose.
I'm just, breaking down, nothing is going well with me these days, plans are falling to shit, a job is no where to be found, some friends have just disappeared off the face of the earth, others have decided to not talk to me, my parents seem to enjoy keeping me inside all day every day, only letting me out to job-hunt, and the two times I put up complaints this weekend,...I don't even know what to do anymore, I need my psychologist, I need people to be around me more than they have been, I need a bunch of things, but no one really gets what they need right?
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
First you wanna be free
Now you say you need me
Giving mixed signals and signs
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
I can't keep coming back to you
Every time you're in the mood
To whisper something sweet in my ear
It's so hard to move on
Cause every time I think you're gone
You show up in my rearview mirror
Is this just a detour?
Cause I gotta be sure
That you really mean what you say
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
To a place where I can be redefined
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is I can't even say goodbye
Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway (a getaway)
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take (I can take)
You tell me that you love me first
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away"
-- The Getaway, by Hilary Duff.
The thing is, I don't know how anyone feels about me anymore, I'm fucking confused. The people I actually really want/need to talk to, don't talk to me. And none of them will tell me what I've done, which is really bothering me. On top of that, it seems like no one seems to notice or care when I'm upset, except Brendan (Fletcher) and Elliott, Jack has his own problems so most of the time telling him would be pretty useless, and the other times, he doesn't notice either. Sometimes I think everyone (even my own mother and father) want to by oblivious to my sadness, I've even cried in front of them, and yet, I get nothing. The sad thing is, with Elliott I have to tell him I'm upset, and he's one of my best friends, Brendan can tell from my tone of typing, even when it's the exact same words I use every other day, he just,...knows and cares, it's nice in that sense. He even offered to throw me a birthday party because he knows how upset I am that EVERYONE around here seems to be too busy to spend any time with me on my 19th birthday, or if they will consider giving time, I have to share it with a significant other of theirs. Even my own boyfriend probably can't spend the day with me. And how am I supposed to react to this? does everyone just expect me to be happy? So far if all goes well, I'm going to Ottawa for my birthday, to spend the weekend with my godmother, and hopefully see everyone there (although I don't seem to be able to talk to Paul, or a few others, so maybe it won't be as nice as I hoped), although just spending it with my godmother will suffice, I suppose.
I'm just, breaking down, nothing is going well with me these days, plans are falling to shit, a job is no where to be found, some friends have just disappeared off the face of the earth, others have decided to not talk to me, my parents seem to enjoy keeping me inside all day every day, only letting me out to job-hunt, and the two times I put up complaints this weekend,...I don't even know what to do anymore, I need my psychologist, I need people to be around me more than they have been, I need a bunch of things, but no one really gets what they need right?