D:
dropped by the dance studio and saw the 90th anniversary dance. when i saw them dancing, this. indescribable feeling just rose to my throat. i've not danced since syf, and i miss it so damn much. really. i've not stepped onto that dance floor, that dance floor that i miss so much, for ages. my heart felt incredibly sore.
and not only that matter was pretty sad. i just don't feel part of nymd anymore. that nymd that i love so dearly. when i heard there was going to be another hfos, i was happy. i really was, at least i get to dance with the troupe one last time. but absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, i'm definitely missing out on the happy times over at nymd. |: it really does, suck.
and now, i am to choreograph a few dances for teachers day. all of a sudden, i feel sapped of creativity, of any dancing ability. i've not danced for too long, so long that i don't even think i can anymore, that i don't even dare to try. i can visualise the steps in my head, but putting them out. i've not lost that passion for dance, i've merely lost that confidence i used to have on that stage. i can't find that feeling anymore, pouring out your heart and soul, dancing out for that one thing you feel so passionate about. i can't find that feeling in me anymore, it seems lost.
when i watch dance videos on youtube, i have this cringing feeling in my heart.
am i ever going to do things like that again?
can i even dance now.
what if i return to nymd for hfos, and i realise with a sinking feeling, that i've lost it all. technique gone, feel vaporised, confidence vanished.
i love dancing. i love performing. i still do, but i'm not sure i can anymore. how am i, to choreograph a few dances then, when i'm not even definite of myself.
somebody, help. help me find that part of me again.
to the 90th anniversary dancers, all the best of luck. to the nymd-ers, miss you guys so much.
and not only that matter was pretty sad. i just don't feel part of nymd anymore. that nymd that i love so dearly. when i heard there was going to be another hfos, i was happy. i really was, at least i get to dance with the troupe one last time. but absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, i'm definitely missing out on the happy times over at nymd. |: it really does, suck.
and now, i am to choreograph a few dances for teachers day. all of a sudden, i feel sapped of creativity, of any dancing ability. i've not danced for too long, so long that i don't even think i can anymore, that i don't even dare to try. i can visualise the steps in my head, but putting them out. i've not lost that passion for dance, i've merely lost that confidence i used to have on that stage. i can't find that feeling anymore, pouring out your heart and soul, dancing out for that one thing you feel so passionate about. i can't find that feeling in me anymore, it seems lost.
when i watch dance videos on youtube, i have this cringing feeling in my heart.
am i ever going to do things like that again?
can i even dance now.
what if i return to nymd for hfos, and i realise with a sinking feeling, that i've lost it all. technique gone, feel vaporised, confidence vanished.
i love dancing. i love performing. i still do, but i'm not sure i can anymore. how am i, to choreograph a few dances then, when i'm not even definite of myself.
somebody, help. help me find that part of me again.
to the 90th anniversary dancers, all the best of luck. to the nymd-ers, miss you guys so much.