Dear X, I worry
Dear X,
after many many years, I've just seen a recent photo of you online and I'm confused and sad!
What happened to you, I mean, seriously? I can hardly talk, speaking from the extreme other side of the spectrum that is "She hasn't really changed in the last 15 years or so".
But you, you used to be so wonderful, so different, so special! Such a bright mind, one of the most intelligent people I've ever known, always a contrarian, wonderfully aloof in a way, such a rebel in your own right, listening to music that dealt with anarchy and fun, that silly young guy, proud of his drinking skills, that long-haired, bearded, hilarious man, so creative, someone who could solve any problem! You were the kind that I thought could change the world with his ideas. Your heart was always so much in the right spot.
Now I look at you, and you look like a sheep. It breaks my heart! You keep breaking my heart!
You sit in an office, slightly hunched, shiny skin, your hair looks shorn off and wear some kind of strange beard that really doesn't suit your face... That's not a happy smile, that's a work smile. Your eyes always had such a sparkle and now it's just gone! Even considering that this may well be a terrible picture, I keep looking at it, thinking no no no no.. The body language, everything...
We used to be best friends, remember? Can you remember that? The smartest kid in school and the most troubled kid in school. You saved me, kept me laughing. We saved each other.
I wish I could save you now. I see you and it actually hurts me. You're not someone to fit a mould, you've never been and will never be. Don't try to make the square fit into the circle.
I hope I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are truely happy. I'd rather know you've actually changed and you're happy like that, and be really really wrong.
I hope you still sometimes read this secretly. You can't burn this bridge, no matter what.
Love,
Silke
after many many years, I've just seen a recent photo of you online and I'm confused and sad!
What happened to you, I mean, seriously? I can hardly talk, speaking from the extreme other side of the spectrum that is "She hasn't really changed in the last 15 years or so".
But you, you used to be so wonderful, so different, so special! Such a bright mind, one of the most intelligent people I've ever known, always a contrarian, wonderfully aloof in a way, such a rebel in your own right, listening to music that dealt with anarchy and fun, that silly young guy, proud of his drinking skills, that long-haired, bearded, hilarious man, so creative, someone who could solve any problem! You were the kind that I thought could change the world with his ideas. Your heart was always so much in the right spot.
Now I look at you, and you look like a sheep. It breaks my heart! You keep breaking my heart!
You sit in an office, slightly hunched, shiny skin, your hair looks shorn off and wear some kind of strange beard that really doesn't suit your face... That's not a happy smile, that's a work smile. Your eyes always had such a sparkle and now it's just gone! Even considering that this may well be a terrible picture, I keep looking at it, thinking no no no no.. The body language, everything...
We used to be best friends, remember? Can you remember that? The smartest kid in school and the most troubled kid in school. You saved me, kept me laughing. We saved each other.
I wish I could save you now. I see you and it actually hurts me. You're not someone to fit a mould, you've never been and will never be. Don't try to make the square fit into the circle.
I hope I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong. I hope you are truely happy. I'd rather know you've actually changed and you're happy like that, and be really really wrong.
I hope you still sometimes read this secretly. You can't burn this bridge, no matter what.
Love,
Silke