Yeah...

[sillycougargirl]

So, things are been rough emotional for me as far as my relationship with Joe is concerned. We broke up Wednesday night because he basically said that his feelings had changed towards me. He fely like he was feeling me more as a friend than as a girlfriend and that he had doubts in our relationship. This pretty much came out of left field. Funny when this happen, it was if I had already experienced this before. And actually, I had... with Chad. Two for two here. So, I was really upset but made it through the night. I came back over Thursday morning and we talked. When I came in, he had my night pants and my picture with him crying. We talked and he said he made a mistake. We all do... I can understand that. So we decided to give it another chance. He also told me that he needs me. Now, here it is Sunday night and I am starting to wonder what actually he means by "needs". Right about now I feel like he is using me for making sure his house is clean, his clothes are clean, and everything else is taken care of. I now have my doubts in our relationship. It is so hard to sit here, alone knowing that all you want to do is be with someone you love... and he is never here. It is just like last weekend, I hardly saw him... and now the fear of being rejected is coming back. I am really starting to believe that may be we are too different and he is honestly never understand my needs as a person. I don't want him to change, but I would like for him to make an effort in things and I don't see that anymore. So what do I do is that question I am asking myself right now. Part of me says stay and the other part says go.

I guess once I am crossed, I seem to never forget how that person made me feel. Human nature or something. Sorta like the quote, Done once shame on you, second time around shame on me.

Eh... he finally is home. I guess I will cut this short. I just hope I can stay stong. Until next time.