Disappointed....
I guess I have never understood relationships, no matter what guy I have been with. There always seems to be the same bump in the road... and my tire isn't getting any better. I have never understood how someone can bitch about what they want so badly, like spend time with someone, then when I actually think I have a chance to spend time with them, then they have other plans. But it's okay in this case... am I missing something? I hate to say this... but sometimes I wish I could get more than what I am getting right now, but I am not sure what. All I know is it hurts and I hate feeling disappointed. Then the last words I hear is, "I'm sorry." I hate those words and will until the day I die. I have never found "I'm sorry" to be meaningful. If someone is sorry, then why repeat the same actions again? Yes, there are mistakes, but repeated mistakes... come on! So what's the purpose? Shouldn't we learn from our mistakes? May be some of us do... and seems as though some of us don't. Overall, I really hate this one sided shit.... Then people wonder why I am so closed off at times. Duh! I try to makes things work and I try to do everything I can for the people I love, but sometimes I guess that isn't enough. It would be nice, just for once, to have someone by my side that would just listen and actually understand what I mean... it just seems here lately that no one really understands my feelings. I just have so much going on around me, I just can't even begin to explain all of it. And I really hate complaining because I know there are people in this world who have it worse off than myself. I guess it just sucks overall that the one person you care about just doesn't seem to get things at all. So I am left with a broken heart and tears from my eyes, alone. While I get to wait, again, for him to come home. *Sighs*