More ramblings...
So it is about 6:30 in the morning and I am up. I believe I passed out about 10 something and I woke up around 3 and for the life of me can't get back to sleep. I am not sure why but I know my schedule is all messed up... I know if I don't have this worked out by next week, I am screwed.
Maybe I just have too much on my mind. Worrying about my friend, school, and just life in general...*sighs* Just a habit I have, but I also know that I can't change things, they are going to happen the way they should be. So why even worry, right? I got to thinking about what my friend wrote in her journal again... but this time about another part. I know she is really down right now and feels like no one understands her and I wish she didn't. I love this girl to death... if she only knew. Sometimes I wish I could put my friends in a bubble where nothing could hurt or bother them. I can tell she is having doubts a lot like I am right now. But she made the comment about that she can't be herself around her friends and even her best friends only get pieces of her that she wants them to see. And that she wants someone she can be herself around. That really hurt me... I know I should probably take it at face vaule but maybe it is because I care so much about this person. I wish she knew and felt that she can be herself around me right now. I mean, I am her best friend and I accept her for the good and the bad. Hell, none of us are perfect. But then again... I guess she sort of speaks truth at the same time. I mean, we all have a certain pride about ourselves that we don't want to let those around us to see at our weak or down moments in time. I am just as gulity. I know when I am upset I really don't say a whole to anyone and just keep it to myself. I hate putting all my extra weight on anyone... I mean it is not their problem. But at the same time, that's what friends are for... to support, to love, to listen, to care, so on and so forth.
There is another thing on my mind here a lot lately... but I am not sure if I really want to go into it right now. It is really pretty dumb on my part for even having these feelings yet I still do. It just sucks... hurts... sucks... and hurts more.
Anyways, that's all for now.
Until next time...
Maybe I just have too much on my mind. Worrying about my friend, school, and just life in general...*sighs* Just a habit I have, but I also know that I can't change things, they are going to happen the way they should be. So why even worry, right? I got to thinking about what my friend wrote in her journal again... but this time about another part. I know she is really down right now and feels like no one understands her and I wish she didn't. I love this girl to death... if she only knew. Sometimes I wish I could put my friends in a bubble where nothing could hurt or bother them. I can tell she is having doubts a lot like I am right now. But she made the comment about that she can't be herself around her friends and even her best friends only get pieces of her that she wants them to see. And that she wants someone she can be herself around. That really hurt me... I know I should probably take it at face vaule but maybe it is because I care so much about this person. I wish she knew and felt that she can be herself around me right now. I mean, I am her best friend and I accept her for the good and the bad. Hell, none of us are perfect. But then again... I guess she sort of speaks truth at the same time. I mean, we all have a certain pride about ourselves that we don't want to let those around us to see at our weak or down moments in time. I am just as gulity. I know when I am upset I really don't say a whole to anyone and just keep it to myself. I hate putting all my extra weight on anyone... I mean it is not their problem. But at the same time, that's what friends are for... to support, to love, to listen, to care, so on and so forth.
There is another thing on my mind here a lot lately... but I am not sure if I really want to go into it right now. It is really pretty dumb on my part for even having these feelings yet I still do. It just sucks... hurts... sucks... and hurts more.
Anyways, that's all for now.
Until next time...