March 17, 2013
In light of all of these #MeToo movements, and women telling their story, it looks like lots of girls have their own personal stories to tell. It's sad to see how many people feel comfortable taking advantage of others in situations where they don't have full control of their thoughts and actions.
St. Patties of 2013 was supposed to be a night where I was meeting "friends" out for bar hopping. I was trying to get my mind off of my recent break up so I thought socializing was the way to do it, rather than staying in and being depressed about it. The people I met up with were Dave and his new girlfriend Anna, Justin B, Shawn B, this married Jewish friend of theirs, Philip C, and a bunch of pharmacy crew girls who were about a decade older than me. I drove the Volvo to Philly because I still didn't have a new car after the accident that totaled my 2011 Z earlier that February.
I met them at the designated bar where we were having a light beer (I had a cider), just so we could round everyone up. I was wearing boot-cut jeans, some short heeled knee-boots, and a tight-fitted camo-patterned shirt that showed some cleavage (not out of the ordinary for me).
Bar #2 - I started talking to Shawn and Phil about general bullshit - work, hobbies, etc. Both of them were married, but Shawn was a huge flirt. Phil bought my second cider, and then Shawn bought my third, and maybe fourth? A blonde girl join our party at the second bar, as Dave and Anna left to go back home for the night. Me and blonde girl started chatting and she's a wild spirit so she was quick to start doing shots. I didn't join her for the first round, and soon after we left for the next spot.
Bar #3 - I'm feeling a bit tipsy at this point and the blonde girl was egging me to do tequila shots with her. It's getting darker outside so more people fill up the bar area and we have to go to the other side of the bar to be seen/served. Blondie decided that I'm going to do shots but then take the lime from her mouth. Because I'm tipsy I shrug and agree. When her shot came she put the glass between my cleavage and took the lime from my mouth. This caused a stir with some of the guys in the bar. They came over and started negging us. A couple of the Pharma girls witnessed us doing shots and decided to yell "You're disgusting, can you see yourself? How old are you?" etc. I had never experienced negging before, but I knew it was psychological mind-fuckery so I excused myself and went back to the Pharma group with Justin and friends. At this point Justin is really only an acquaintance, Dave was the only friend I would consider close and he left before we started this third bar.
After 3-4 ciders, and 3 tequila shots, you can say I was a bit inebriated. Shawn started to come onto me harder. He said something along the lines of "Oh wow, you're a programmer? So you have beauty and brains". Shawn was full of really bad one liners and was relentless the whole night. I believe Justin and Shawn were close friends with Blondie because I remember that she and Shawn had a strange connection the whole night, but I couldn't place it. At some point during the night Shawn had lead me back to an empty booth in the bar/restaurant and started making out with me. I only remember this because one of the Pharma women went looking for him, found us, and yelled. This started me and made my adrenaline kick into gear. She also told him (paraphrased) "How dare he do this as a married man. He's lucky she's the only one who witnessed this because he only gets this one pass so she won't tell his wife, so he better get his shit together."
I don't recall much after that point. According to Justin the next day Blondie and I went to vomit in the bathroom a few times. I guess it was this point where I lost my glasses, and I thought I lost my purse but Justin or Shawn had nabbed it up for me.
Since Justin and crew usually do this bar hop every St Patties they always book rooms because they know they will drink. Justin has his room, while Shawn had booked a separate room. I don't even think it was 11 p.m. when Shawn "decided" I was too drunk and that I should be "dropped off at the hotel". He started walking me from the bar to the hotel, with his arm around my waist. I'm coming in and out of conciousness midway through this walk when I realize I don't have my glasses. I ask him where they were and he replied in the creepiest way "You won't need them where we're going".
Pause. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, my teeth were chattering. What do I do? What do I say? Where am I? Where's my car? Where is everyone else? A thousand questions played out in my head. I didn't know what to do, I was paralyzed with fear. Queue the next blackout.
My eye open and all I see is a half dressed Shawn and he's standing right at the edge of the edge of the bed and I'm half dangled on it while he's in me. I remember mumbling something about condoms because I was terrified I would contract something. I didn't know him, I don't know if this is normal behavior for him as a married man. After trying to look around to figure out where I was, queue the next blackout.
I wake up - I'm going to vomit. It's 2-something in the morning, I remember because I checked my phone. I run to the bathroom to dry heave, but when nothing came out I tried to pee. There was stinging and soreness. When I wiped there was blood. What. the. fuck. I wasn't on my period. Where is this blood from? What caused this? I run back to the bed because the room is still spinning and I'm a few minutes away from dry-heaving again, plus I can't drive without my glasses.
I am dead to the world and wake up at about 7 am, but he's waking up too. I don't know what to do. I try to play it cool and not panic, but it's hard when all I want to is leave. He lies awake in the hotel bed trying to talk to me. He makes a few jokes about the night before, and then tells me to blow him. I proceed but I'm still drunk and it's a really shitty job. He never finished. We end up meeting Justin and Blondie downstairs for breakfast. He buys mine and then I leave as quick as possible for the parking garage I was staying in.
I spent the next hour in the car crying and wondering what the fuck happened, and what I did. I ended up driving cautiously to get home, but having the worst headache of my life because everything was blurry.
The next day he friended me on Facebook.