(no subject)
im still not completely familiar with LJ, but i dont even know if anybody reads this, i guess its just a way to vent.
will power: thats what i need, its all i need! i was looking at C240s a few min ago and i couldnt imagine being behind the wheel of a hot car like that looking like i do at this moment. i need improvments && i need them fast. Ike constantly sais i look beautiful no matter what, even today when he come over while i was still in the shower w/o an ounce of makeup, lotion, or any hair products on. but im not sure how much of it i belive. its hard to imagine sitting on the same couch as my mother while she's wilting away at less than 100 and here i am sitting next to her a bucket of lard, atleast thats waht it feels like.
i want a blackberry or a sidekick by the end of june, && i want new hair by the end of aug. && i want a new image by the end of next months. i want change, change, change. i bought hot shoes on sat. $160 of 6inch BCBG heels. i wont wear them. not untill i get to "0". why did i buy them then? maybe its my drug.. spending money, money that doesnt belong to me. i love money, and items, esp. the ones ill never wear or atleast not in the neer future.
i have to go to some hotel, stripper, dress up, get wasted, party next saturday! im not sure if i'd like to do that at this time. i just kind of need chill time where i dont think about what people think about me, or where my lard is sticking out. i need alone time with Ike so he gets more comfortable. we're never alone.
i need, i need, i need to feel SHADERED again!
will power: thats what i need, its all i need! i was looking at C240s a few min ago and i couldnt imagine being behind the wheel of a hot car like that looking like i do at this moment. i need improvments && i need them fast. Ike constantly sais i look beautiful no matter what, even today when he come over while i was still in the shower w/o an ounce of makeup, lotion, or any hair products on. but im not sure how much of it i belive. its hard to imagine sitting on the same couch as my mother while she's wilting away at less than 100 and here i am sitting next to her a bucket of lard, atleast thats waht it feels like.
i want a blackberry or a sidekick by the end of june, && i want new hair by the end of aug. && i want a new image by the end of next months. i want change, change, change. i bought hot shoes on sat. $160 of 6inch BCBG heels. i wont wear them. not untill i get to "0". why did i buy them then? maybe its my drug.. spending money, money that doesnt belong to me. i love money, and items, esp. the ones ill never wear or atleast not in the neer future.
i have to go to some hotel, stripper, dress up, get wasted, party next saturday! im not sure if i'd like to do that at this time. i just kind of need chill time where i dont think about what people think about me, or where my lard is sticking out. i need alone time with Ike so he gets more comfortable. we're never alone.
i need, i need, i need to feel SHADERED again!