Final Stretch
School has become somewhat taxing but I'm doing well. I could slack off a bit and probably still land an A in all of my courses so this semester is damn near in the bag. I'm running low on money and hopefully will be working full time doing contract work this summer but I still haven't set that up yet.
I have concerns about my goal of working in the game industry. I'm not concerned that I'm not talented enough. I have concerns over my work ethic but that's still a small problem. I'm missing something very important and that is a single mindedness. An obsessiveness about programming and making games in general. It takes that, talent, hard work, social networking, and luck to get into the industry and I have big fears that I can't put the requisite passion into the work that's needed to get anywhere. This of course is also contingent on some philosophical things, as many things seem to be with me.
Talking about philosophy, I'm damn near done wrapping up my perspective on ethics. Perhaps just the foundation. There have been two burning questions that I've been working on since I concluded life had no meaning years ago: why shouldn't I kill myself and why should I be moral? I've come to an understanding that is once again to be written another time. My ethics, per se, haven't changed much, but my moral philosophy has over this past semester. Anyway, for anyone who would like to gain an understanding of the philosophical perspectives I've been mulling over would do well to look up Existentialism, Nihilism, and especially Absurdism (which is very close to the perspective I've taken). I recommend wikipedia. This doesn't really include anything about my moral philosophy, but they are crucial fondations on which my moral philosophy lays upon.
I didn't get much done on my Spring Break but I did have a good time. Barb and I went to Sea World. We did other stuff that I failed to.... I just realized something completely unrelated. I've been conditioned to feel a kind of anxiety when I'm busy doing something when I hear my dad jingle change in his pocket in the other room because it is a good predictor of my dad coming down the hall to see what I'm doing and hence an interuption of exactly whatever it is that I'm doing. I guess he jingles his change when he's bored. As it is the jingling has stopped and I guess he found something to do. Back to Spring Break. I know we did sea world and went out a couple other times but I forget what immediately. We hadn't seen eachother in a while and it was awesome to see her again. She also got a new car (and a new job for that matter). I'm really proud of her. She's working very hard and pushing for more and more success. My only concern is that she will find it increasingly more difficult to go to school, but then she doesn't exactly have a sweet deal going on like I do to live at home and focus on her education so I don't see what she'd do otherwise. I just don't want to see her end up trapped somewhere with a ceiling far below her potential.
Anyway it's also good news that she got a car because she was kind of touchy about not having one, but more importantly because it marks a milestone of autonomy and self-dependence coupled with everything else she's achieved and has setup in her life right now. Plus I think it will give her some freedom and independence that she needs.
We're going to go see LTJ Bukem on friday. I'm super excited. The last time I went out and thoroughly enjoyed a performance was the last time I went out to see him which was over a year ago. I'm ready to do that again.
Well that's all I really have to say for now I think. There are some things I'd like to get into but I want to go over them with some depth I don't have time for right now. I need exercise.
I have concerns about my goal of working in the game industry. I'm not concerned that I'm not talented enough. I have concerns over my work ethic but that's still a small problem. I'm missing something very important and that is a single mindedness. An obsessiveness about programming and making games in general. It takes that, talent, hard work, social networking, and luck to get into the industry and I have big fears that I can't put the requisite passion into the work that's needed to get anywhere. This of course is also contingent on some philosophical things, as many things seem to be with me.
Talking about philosophy, I'm damn near done wrapping up my perspective on ethics. Perhaps just the foundation. There have been two burning questions that I've been working on since I concluded life had no meaning years ago: why shouldn't I kill myself and why should I be moral? I've come to an understanding that is once again to be written another time. My ethics, per se, haven't changed much, but my moral philosophy has over this past semester. Anyway, for anyone who would like to gain an understanding of the philosophical perspectives I've been mulling over would do well to look up Existentialism, Nihilism, and especially Absurdism (which is very close to the perspective I've taken). I recommend wikipedia. This doesn't really include anything about my moral philosophy, but they are crucial fondations on which my moral philosophy lays upon.
I didn't get much done on my Spring Break but I did have a good time. Barb and I went to Sea World. We did other stuff that I failed to.... I just realized something completely unrelated. I've been conditioned to feel a kind of anxiety when I'm busy doing something when I hear my dad jingle change in his pocket in the other room because it is a good predictor of my dad coming down the hall to see what I'm doing and hence an interuption of exactly whatever it is that I'm doing. I guess he jingles his change when he's bored. As it is the jingling has stopped and I guess he found something to do. Back to Spring Break. I know we did sea world and went out a couple other times but I forget what immediately. We hadn't seen eachother in a while and it was awesome to see her again. She also got a new car (and a new job for that matter). I'm really proud of her. She's working very hard and pushing for more and more success. My only concern is that she will find it increasingly more difficult to go to school, but then she doesn't exactly have a sweet deal going on like I do to live at home and focus on her education so I don't see what she'd do otherwise. I just don't want to see her end up trapped somewhere with a ceiling far below her potential.
Anyway it's also good news that she got a car because she was kind of touchy about not having one, but more importantly because it marks a milestone of autonomy and self-dependence coupled with everything else she's achieved and has setup in her life right now. Plus I think it will give her some freedom and independence that she needs.
We're going to go see LTJ Bukem on friday. I'm super excited. The last time I went out and thoroughly enjoyed a performance was the last time I went out to see him which was over a year ago. I'm ready to do that again.
Well that's all I really have to say for now I think. There are some things I'd like to get into but I want to go over them with some depth I don't have time for right now. I need exercise.