Fic: One Last Time
title: One Last Time
pairing: Billy/Dominic
rating: NC-17
words: 3700+
warning: AU (in a very vague way). There's a bit of violence and pain, and some heavy angst, and not much of a happy ending. Implied death, basically.
summary: Billy and Dominic are trapped, facing death in some form or another.
thanks: to Raquel, for everything. Originally posted here, for monaboyd_month
"I don't have any hope left."
It was the non-standard response to the standard statement, There's still hope.
It was the truth. There was no hope anymore. They'd been left to die.
Billy leaned back against the wall and stared up at the concrete wall opposite him. He hadn't even spoken in what felt like hours. Dominic had replied without him even saying anything. Maybe it was a testament to how close they'd grown over the years, or maybe Billy was just that predictable. In reality, he agreed with Dom. There was no hope.
Dominic, meanwhile, was pounding the thick wooden door with his fists, scratching it with his fingernails, which were broken and bleeding. He'd stopped shouting only because his voice had given out. Billy was guiltily glad for the quiet. He didn't think anyone was still out there, anyway.
"Billy, say something."
Billy shook his head. Dominic growled at him and sank to his knees in front of Billy. He grabbed Billy's shoulders and shook him.
"Say something."
"What do you want me to say?" Billy asked, defeatedly. "There's no point."
Dominic leaped to his feet again. "It's not fair!" he screamed, though his voice was rough.
"Who do you think is listening, Dom?" Billy whispered.
Dominic screamed wordlessly, his hands clenching and unclenching in front of him. There was nothing to grab hold of, nothing to rip apart and mutilate. Nothing besides Billy, and Dominic couldn't do that to him. They couldn't turn on each other, here at the end. Billy knew it, too. He knew what Dominic would've done, had they been anything less than partners in crime. Had they been anything less than lovers.
"I'm sorry, Dom."
Dominic fell back down to his knees. "For what?"
"That I can't tell you it'll be okay." Billy closed his eyes. He didn't want to see Dominic's heartbroken expression. If he could shut off his ears, he would do, to save himself from the heart-wrenching screams.
But Dominic crawled over to where Billy sat and leaned against the wall next to him. "I'm sorry you felt you needed to before now."
"Is that your subtle way of saying you can take care of yourself?"
"No." Dominic shook his head. "I just. I don't--didn't want to be a burden to you."
Billy's eyes flew open. "You're not a burden, Dominic," he said quietly. "I wanted you with me. We're partners."
"Even though I got us in this fucking. Mess." The last two words were shouted, and Billy flinched. "Sorry," Dominic said, when he realized.
"Please stop."
"What's the point? I'm not going to go gently into that fucking good night," Dominic spat, gesturing violently at the locked door. "What ever happened to 'Rage, rage against the dying of the light.' "
"Dominic..."
"Bill--"
"No one will hear you but me, and a fuckload of good that'll do you. Why waste your last moments with anger?"
"Are you not fucking angry?" Dominic shouted. It hurt his throat to speak, but he did so anyway. "Are you 'at peace' with this?"
"Dom," Billy turned and raised up on his knees to face Dominic head-on. He reached out to touch Dominic's arm, to soothe him. "Please stop."
After a moment, Dominic sighed and slumped against the wall, the fight gone out of him for the moment. "It shouldn't be like this," he whispered.
Billy nodded. "You're right. It shouldn't."
"We should be on a beach in the Caribbean with half-naked women serving us alcohol."
"Oh really?" Billy grinned. "What else? Tell me."
Dominic closed his eyes and smiled. He continued in a softer voice, "It's sunny, and so warm, but it's not unbearably hot or anything, y'know? And there's the sea breeze coming in, salty and cool and perfect."
Billy settled back into his place beside Dominic and closed his eyes as well, still with his hand on Dominic's wrist. "Can you hear the water, Dommie?"
"Yeah." Dominic coughed. "God."
"Tell me more. What else is there?"
"Um. There's a bit of forest behind us. Palm trees and coconuts and all that. And the sand is all warm from the sun. Warm and soft, that really powdery sand."
"What about us? What are we doing?"
Dominic smiled again. "We're on a blanket. A beach towel. You've got a book, but it's just open on your chest. You're sleeping."
"And you?"
"I'm on my stomach, watching you." Dominic opened his eyes and turned to see Billy looking back at him. "Your other hand is resting on my back."
"And I'm sunburned. Pink and itchy and everything. And you're just tanned. Your skin looks like gold in the sun, Dommie."
Dominic grinned. "I'll rub lotion on for you. Some of that aloe stuff."
"You'd use it as an excuse to touch me, wouldn't you?"
"You know it."
"I wouldn't object."
"I know."
Billy slid his hand down to lace his fingers with Dominic's.
"Billy."
"Yeah, Dom?"
"There's so much we could've done together."
"We did do so much together."
"But it's too late now." Dominic's eyes prickled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't cry, don't cry..." Billy stroked Dominic's cheek with his thumb. "I don't think we could've avoided this. Certainly we can't run from death forever."
"It's not--It's not just the dying part. It's..."
"Oh, Dommie."
"I didn't want to die like this. Locked up and just waiting for it to happen. I wanted to be old; all wrinkly and grey-haired and wobbly-legged. I wanted that. I wanted it for us, I did."
Billy pulled Dominic into a somewhat awkward embrace, both of their legs getting in the way between them.
"I wanted to grow old with you, Billy. I wanted us to have a life together."
"Dom, shhh, Dommie. Shush now. Don't cry."
With his face pushed into Billy's shoulder, Dominic screamed again, though it was muffled because of Billy's shirt and Dominic's own weakening voice. It brought tears to Billy's eyes, seeing Dominic fall apart like this. Billy had kept up a brave, if defeated, front, while Dominic had been the angry, vengeful one so far. But Billy felt his own anger rising.
"Dom, please," Billy whispered. "Shh, Dom."
After a few minutes, Dominic collected himself and pushed away, wiping his eyes and hiding his face from Billy. Billy continued to rub Dominic's back until he'd stopped his hiccupping breathing.
"I'm sorry," Dominic murmured. "I didn't mean to--"
"It's understandable." Billy nodded, though Dominic couldn't see him. He wanted to say that everything would be okay, but truthfully, he knew it wouldn't be, and Billy couldn't lie to Dominic like that.
"I'm sorry," Dominic repeated, at a loss for anything else to say.
Billy put his hand on Dominic's knee. "You want to know something?"
"Always."
"I knew when I met you that we'd end up together."
"Oh yeah?" Dominic looked up. "Did you ever think we'd end up together in a cold, empty cell, awaiting death by starvation, or execution?"
Billy smiled sardonically. "Can't say I saw that coming."
"We'll have to--"
Dominic cut himself off, and when he didn't continue, Billy cocked his head and asked, "We'll have to what?"
"No point in thinking of it now. We don't have a future, Billy. Not beyond the next few days, anyway."
"Oh, Dommie, don't..."
Dominic pushed himself to his feet and paced. He walked in and out of the small patch of light from the single lightbulb set into the ceiling. There wasn't any light coming from beneath the door, and the lightbulb didn't even brighten the corners of the room. Billy slid down to lie on his back.
"Come sit down with me." Billy beckoned Dominic over with a wave of his hand.
"Can't."
"Can't?"
"I can't just sit there and wait for death."
"And I'm just waiting, am I?"
Dominic stopped moving. Billy turned his head to look at him.
"I'm not waiting. I just want to be with you," Billy said softly.
"I'm sorry, Bill."
"Stop apologising. C'mere."
Dominic sank to his knees in the middle of the cell, in the brightest spot beneath the light, with his hands clasped in his lap. He looked utterly defeated and weary.
"Come here, Dom."
Dominic crawled forward reluctantly on his hands and knees and settled down on his back next to Billy, lying his head on Billy's outstretched arm.
"You're warm," Billy muttered, turning to kiss Dominic's temple.
"I don't feel it. I feel cold."
"C'mere," Billy said again, pulling Dominic even closer to him.
"I think..."
"What?"
Dominic sighed and snuggled in. "This sounds sick and selfish, but I'm glad you're here."
"Yeah. Glad you're not alone. I am too."
"Right. I guess, if I'm going to die..." Dominic smiled. "Who better to do it with than you?"
Billy grinned and turned onto his side to face Dominic. They lay, nose-to-nose, knee-to-knee, and stared at each other for a few quiet moments.
"I'm glad you think so," Billy finally said.
Dominic turned his head and kissed Billy gently, tentatively reaching up his hand to stroke Billy's cheek. Dominic's fingertips still had traces of dried blood from when he'd been scratching desperately at the door. When he noticed this, he curled his hands into fists and tried to draw them away, but Billy caught his wrist and held him still.
"I'm sorry," Dominic breathed, referring to his earlier useless attempt at escape.
"Stop apologising," Billy replied, his voice equally soft, but there were undertones of power there.
Dominic opened his mouth, about to apologise again, and then closed it quickly. He sighed and closed his eyes. "How long have we been here?"
Billy petted Dominic's hair. "About a day and a half, as far as I can tell. Maybe longer, maybe shorter."
"I'm so tired, Billy."
"Rest, then, Dom. Try and sleep."
Without opening his eyes, Dominic replied, "I suppose there's nothing else to do."
Billy shifted around on the hard floor so that Dominic's head was pillowed on his chest. "Yeah. Might as well, eh?"
"Might as well." Dominic rested his hand on Billy's stomach for a moment, then slipped it underneath Billy's shirt, both for warmth, and just to feel Billy's skin.
Billy smiled and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Dominic's steadying breaths and feeling Dominic's body heat seep through his clothes and warm him. It eventually lulled him to sleep, and he woke up some indeterminable amount of time later to Dominic kissing and nuzzling his neck. His hand had drifted higher up beneath Billy's shirt and was gently rubbing his nipples.
Dominic sensed Billy wake up. "Billy. Love you," he whispered, flicking out his tongue to lick Billy's pulse point.
"Dom--"
"Love you. Don't want this to end."
"Neither do I."
Billy pulled Dominic up and in for a deep, slow kiss. When they broke apart, Billy opened his eyes and sought out Dominic's. They were a dark, stormy grey, from what Billy could see, which usually meant that Dominic was angry, but it might just be that the cell was too dark to see properly.
Dominic rolled over Billy to lie half-across his chest, one leg on either side of Billy's hips. Billy moved his hands up automatically to hold onto Dominic. He pushed at Dominic's shirt, trying to get it off, but Dominic kept his arms firmly down on his sides.
"What?" Billy asked.
"What?" Dominic asked back, feigning confusion.
"Lift your arms." It came out sounding like an order, so Billy tempered it with a concerned, compassionate look.
Dominic hesitated, staring down at Billy. Then he sat up on his knees and pulled his t-shirt over his head, uncovering purplish bruises on his shoulders and ribs.
"What's this, then?" Billy asked calmly.
"I, uh. From when I tried to break the door," Dominic explained self-consciously. When they'd first been locked in, Dominic had been bent on breaking down the door by force, which hadn't even come close to working. He'd stopped after a while, and it was now clear to Billy why.
"At least you tried," Billy said. "I just... gave up, didn't I?" Billy wrinkled his brow. "I'm sorry for that, Dom."
"No, Billy..." Dominic sighed and leaned back down to kiss Billy's forehead, then his mouth. "Enough blaming, enough apologies. Nothing we can do about it, now."
Billy closed his eyes. "Yeah. You're right."
Dominic kissed Billy again. "Make love to me, Bill," he whispered. "Please. One last time."
"Don't say that."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say that, either."
Dominic couldn't hold back a smile. "Okay. Make love to me, Billy."
"Okay."
Billy propped himself up on his elbows and let Dominic wrap his arms around Billy's neck. Billy kissed Dominic deeply, then, and slowly rolled them both over so that he was leaning on his hands above Dominic, whose legs were intertwined with Billy's.
"Dom..."
"Yeah. Love you."
Everything seemed to be stuck in slow-motion. Where Dominic would usually be rushing and fumbling, he was calm and deliberate, and Billy's movements were less restrained than normal, and more weary. He squirmed out of his trousers and pulled Dominic's jeans down after he'd kicked off his shoes. Dominic clung to Billy's jumper, which he'd kept on, and stretched it out of shape.
Billy's hands slid over Dominic's thighs and stomach, brushed across his nipples and the bruises on his ribs. Dominic tugged at Billy's jumper, trying to pull it over his head.
"C'mon, Billy."
"I'm cold, Dommie."
Dominic chuckled. "I'll keep you warm."
"I don't doubt it," Billy replied with a grin.
Dominic tightened his arms around Billy and pulled him down so they were lying chest-to-chest. He sighed, feeling the expansion of Billy's ribs as he did the same.
"This is nice," he whispered, reveling in their shared body heat and Billy's weight pressing down on him. The unforgiving concrete floor was even warming up beneath them.
Billy bit back his first thought, It could be so much better, and hummed in agreement. "Is this hurting your shoulders?"
"No," Dominic lied. "C'mon, Bill. I want you to make love to me. C'mon."
"Yeah. Okay." Billy pushed back up onto his hands and stared down at Dominic's face. He looked exhausted and dirty--they both did--but beautiful all the same, in the way that took Billy's breath away sometimes.
The words One last time hung in the air as if spoken, but Billy steadfastly ignored them. Dominic grimaced and did the same, determined to make this good.
Billy rubbed his nose against Dominic's, teasing him with brief, chaste kisses. His arms were beginning to tire, so he lowered himself down to his elbows and forearms, trapping Dominic's head between his hands.
"Y'cannae escape, my Dommeh," Billy murmured, his lips brushing against Dominic's as he spoke. His accent had thickened with desire, and he could feel Dominic's approval against his hip.
Dominic bent his knees and pushed his hips up into Billy's, but stopped abruptly with a wince of pain. Concern flashed across Billy's face.
"Can't... bend like that," Dominic explained, blushing fiercely. "Hurts."
"Turn over, Dom. On top of me." Billy nudged Dominic up, rolling them that he was lying on his back with Dominic straddling his thighs. "You up for this instead?"
Dominic's right hand drifted down and curled into a loose fist around Billy's hard length. "Yeah, I think so," he said with a smirk. Billy grasped Dominic's hips, then his arse, urging him on. "This is..."
"I know."
Dominic smiled peacefully, slowly stroking Billy's erection. He turned his face upward, towards the dim lightbulb, and imagined it was sunlight, or, perhaps, because it was so dim, moonlight. In his head, he pictured trees around them, and grass beneath them. Maybe a blanket and a half-eaten picnic dinner, with a bottle of wine.
"What are you thinkin', love?"
Billy's fingers dipped lower to rub at Dominic's hole. Dominic pushed his hips back against Billy's hands, desperate for more.
"Remember that time we went out camping without a tent or anything? Just dinner and breakfast and a blanket--"
"And candles," Billy added.
"And candles," Dominic agreed. He gingerly lowered himself to his elbows to give Billy a deep, desperate kiss. "And we made love under the stars and then again at sunrise."
As Dominic spoke, Billy imagined them back in that forest clearing, with the sun breaking over the treetops and throwing shadows of leaves over Dominic's face. "So beautiful, Dommeh."
Dominic groaned as Billy's fingers entered him, dropping his head down to Billy's shoulder. "Fuck. Hurts."
"What does, Dom?"
"My chest," Dominic said through gritted teeth.
Billy slid his hand between them to push Dominic upright. "Sit up, love. Don't--"
"God, I can't even fucking move anymore."
"Dom. We shouldn't do this. It'll only hurt you right now."
Dominic opened his eyes to stare down at Billy. "Keep going."
Billy was about to object, but Dominic interrupted him.
"Billy, please. Keep going. I want you so badly, and it will only get worse if we wait. Please."
Dominic's eyes showed Billy all of his desperation and how much Billy was keeping him from going mad. Billy saw Dominic's unconditional love, and trust, and Billy couldn't say anything other than, "Yes."
"I feel so stupid, Billy. I did this to myself," he whispered.
"You tried to survive, Dom, there's no shame in that."
"Billy, please, fuck me," Dominic growled. "One last time."
The words they'd tried to avoid acted like a catalyst for Billy. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and surged up to kiss Dominic more passionately than they'd kissed thus far. Dominic's tongue traced Billy's dry, cracked lips, seeking entrance. Billy's hands, meanwhile, returned to Dominic's arse, slowly stretching him and kneading his flesh.
"Oh god, Billy."
"Dom--"
"Do it, Bill, fuck me, now."
"Yes..." Billy gasped, positioning his cock at Dominic's entrance. "Yes."
"Ohh, oh god, Bill." Dominic groaned loudly as Billy entered him. He tried to mask the brief expression of pain as it crossed his face, but Billy saw it, of course, and stopped moving. "No, no, keep--God, Billy, just fuck me."
"Dom, I don't want to hurt you."
"Please, Billy," Dominic breathed, tears shining at the corner of his eyes. "I want this to be the end."
"But I don't want it to end."
"Billy..."
"I want you so much, my gorgeous lad, but I don't want it to end."
Dominic sighed and nodded. "Then finish it, and we'll keep surviving afterward," he said after a moment. "It doesn't have to--It won't be the end."
"Promise me."
"It won't be the end of us, I promise you, Billy. I love you."
With renewed determination, Billy grabbed onto Dominic's hands and held them tightly. "Tell me you want it, then."
"I want you so badly," Dominic gasped.
"Dommeh. Oh, god, Dom." Billy blinked tears out of his eyes and looked up at Dominic's upturned face. "I'll never deny you anything, Dom. Never."
"Never's not far off, now." Dominic looked down at Billy and raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.
"Doesn't matter."
"Keep saying that, Billy. Make it okay."
Billy closed his eyes at Dominic's words. He couldn't possibly make dying okay. But he could give Dominic this last night, make it as good as it could possibly be, under the circumstances. He thrust up into Dominic with desperate abandon, encouraged by Dominic's throaty moans. Behind closed eyes, he imagined, as they'd been doing earlier, that things were more comfortable, more pleasurable, more... Just more.
"Look at me," Dominic murmured, sliding his fingers across Billy's sweat-damp clavicle. "Billy."
So Billy opened his eyes, focused on Dominic. He almost said, I wish I could make things better, but that wasn't what Dominic wanted to hear. "I love you," he whispered, instead.
"Then come for me."
Billy smirked. "You first." He rubbed his hands up Dominic's thighs, then grasped his full, hard cock and stroked it quickly. Dominic's forehead creased in pleasure and self-restraint, and his muscles clenched around Billy.
Dominic sighed, too tired to do anything more vocal or energetic. "Billy..." he breathed, "C'mon."
"Oh, god, Dominic--"
"Yeah, Billy, come for me."
Billy shook his head, wanting to prolong the moment, the feeling of balancing on the edge of a precipice, but he came anyway, in a sudden, building rush of pleasure. He arched off the ground, clutching at Dominic's hand, and his breath caught in his throat. Once he'd regained his senses, he pushed himself up on his elbows, watching Dominic's fluid expressions through glazed eyes.
"Love you," he whispered, and Dominic nodded. "Now. Your turn."
Dominic grinned and, for a moment, forgot that they were locked in a cold, empty cell. Billy leaned up, put his hand around Dominic's neck, and kissed Dominic hard, thrusting his tongue between Dominic's lips. While he had Dominic distracted, Billy slid his other hand down Dominic's chest to encircle his cock, and he quickly stroked Dominic to completion, slowing his hand only when Dominic's come trickled over his fist.
His eyes half-closed, Dominic wrapped his arms around Billy's shoulders and kissed him softly. "That was good."
"It was," Billy agreed, nudging Dominic's nose with his own.
"I'm tired."
"Me too."
Dominic nodded and gingerly lowered himself to the floor, his head turned to the side to face Billy, who retrieved one of their shirts--he couldn't even remember who'd been wearing it earlier--to clean up a bit. As he tossed it back into the pile of clothing, a thought struck him and he leaned over to grab the other shirt, which he bundled into a sort of pillow that he and Dominic could share.
He lay down beside Dominic and put a comforting arm around him. Dominic curled into Billy's side, sighing contentedly, and kissed Billy's neck.
"I guess we should sleep, now."
"I suppose so." Billy watched Dominic's eyes slowly close, then felt his breathing slowly deepen. He brushed a few strands of hair from Dominic's forehead. "Sleep well, love."
Dominic had promised him that this wasn't the end, but now Billy realized that he actually wanted it to be.
"If it's gonna end, might as well be with a perfect moment like this," Billy whispered, pressing his lips to Dominic's forehead.
Dominic stirred at Billy's touch, but he didn't wake completely. "Mmm, perf'ct."
fin.
pairing: Billy/Dominic
rating: NC-17
words: 3700+
warning: AU (in a very vague way). There's a bit of violence and pain, and some heavy angst, and not much of a happy ending. Implied death, basically.
summary: Billy and Dominic are trapped, facing death in some form or another.
thanks: to Raquel, for everything. Originally posted here, for monaboyd_month
"I don't have any hope left."
It was the non-standard response to the standard statement, There's still hope.
It was the truth. There was no hope anymore. They'd been left to die.
Billy leaned back against the wall and stared up at the concrete wall opposite him. He hadn't even spoken in what felt like hours. Dominic had replied without him even saying anything. Maybe it was a testament to how close they'd grown over the years, or maybe Billy was just that predictable. In reality, he agreed with Dom. There was no hope.
Dominic, meanwhile, was pounding the thick wooden door with his fists, scratching it with his fingernails, which were broken and bleeding. He'd stopped shouting only because his voice had given out. Billy was guiltily glad for the quiet. He didn't think anyone was still out there, anyway.
"Billy, say something."
Billy shook his head. Dominic growled at him and sank to his knees in front of Billy. He grabbed Billy's shoulders and shook him.
"Say something."
"What do you want me to say?" Billy asked, defeatedly. "There's no point."
Dominic leaped to his feet again. "It's not fair!" he screamed, though his voice was rough.
"Who do you think is listening, Dom?" Billy whispered.
Dominic screamed wordlessly, his hands clenching and unclenching in front of him. There was nothing to grab hold of, nothing to rip apart and mutilate. Nothing besides Billy, and Dominic couldn't do that to him. They couldn't turn on each other, here at the end. Billy knew it, too. He knew what Dominic would've done, had they been anything less than partners in crime. Had they been anything less than lovers.
"I'm sorry, Dom."
Dominic fell back down to his knees. "For what?"
"That I can't tell you it'll be okay." Billy closed his eyes. He didn't want to see Dominic's heartbroken expression. If he could shut off his ears, he would do, to save himself from the heart-wrenching screams.
But Dominic crawled over to where Billy sat and leaned against the wall next to him. "I'm sorry you felt you needed to before now."
"Is that your subtle way of saying you can take care of yourself?"
"No." Dominic shook his head. "I just. I don't--didn't want to be a burden to you."
Billy's eyes flew open. "You're not a burden, Dominic," he said quietly. "I wanted you with me. We're partners."
"Even though I got us in this fucking. Mess." The last two words were shouted, and Billy flinched. "Sorry," Dominic said, when he realized.
"Please stop."
"What's the point? I'm not going to go gently into that fucking good night," Dominic spat, gesturing violently at the locked door. "What ever happened to 'Rage, rage against the dying of the light.' "
"Dominic..."
"Bill--"
"No one will hear you but me, and a fuckload of good that'll do you. Why waste your last moments with anger?"
"Are you not fucking angry?" Dominic shouted. It hurt his throat to speak, but he did so anyway. "Are you 'at peace' with this?"
"Dom," Billy turned and raised up on his knees to face Dominic head-on. He reached out to touch Dominic's arm, to soothe him. "Please stop."
After a moment, Dominic sighed and slumped against the wall, the fight gone out of him for the moment. "It shouldn't be like this," he whispered.
Billy nodded. "You're right. It shouldn't."
"We should be on a beach in the Caribbean with half-naked women serving us alcohol."
"Oh really?" Billy grinned. "What else? Tell me."
Dominic closed his eyes and smiled. He continued in a softer voice, "It's sunny, and so warm, but it's not unbearably hot or anything, y'know? And there's the sea breeze coming in, salty and cool and perfect."
Billy settled back into his place beside Dominic and closed his eyes as well, still with his hand on Dominic's wrist. "Can you hear the water, Dommie?"
"Yeah." Dominic coughed. "God."
"Tell me more. What else is there?"
"Um. There's a bit of forest behind us. Palm trees and coconuts and all that. And the sand is all warm from the sun. Warm and soft, that really powdery sand."
"What about us? What are we doing?"
Dominic smiled again. "We're on a blanket. A beach towel. You've got a book, but it's just open on your chest. You're sleeping."
"And you?"
"I'm on my stomach, watching you." Dominic opened his eyes and turned to see Billy looking back at him. "Your other hand is resting on my back."
"And I'm sunburned. Pink and itchy and everything. And you're just tanned. Your skin looks like gold in the sun, Dommie."
Dominic grinned. "I'll rub lotion on for you. Some of that aloe stuff."
"You'd use it as an excuse to touch me, wouldn't you?"
"You know it."
"I wouldn't object."
"I know."
Billy slid his hand down to lace his fingers with Dominic's.
"Billy."
"Yeah, Dom?"
"There's so much we could've done together."
"We did do so much together."
"But it's too late now." Dominic's eyes prickled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't cry, don't cry..." Billy stroked Dominic's cheek with his thumb. "I don't think we could've avoided this. Certainly we can't run from death forever."
"It's not--It's not just the dying part. It's..."
"Oh, Dommie."
"I didn't want to die like this. Locked up and just waiting for it to happen. I wanted to be old; all wrinkly and grey-haired and wobbly-legged. I wanted that. I wanted it for us, I did."
Billy pulled Dominic into a somewhat awkward embrace, both of their legs getting in the way between them.
"I wanted to grow old with you, Billy. I wanted us to have a life together."
"Dom, shhh, Dommie. Shush now. Don't cry."
With his face pushed into Billy's shoulder, Dominic screamed again, though it was muffled because of Billy's shirt and Dominic's own weakening voice. It brought tears to Billy's eyes, seeing Dominic fall apart like this. Billy had kept up a brave, if defeated, front, while Dominic had been the angry, vengeful one so far. But Billy felt his own anger rising.
"Dom, please," Billy whispered. "Shh, Dom."
After a few minutes, Dominic collected himself and pushed away, wiping his eyes and hiding his face from Billy. Billy continued to rub Dominic's back until he'd stopped his hiccupping breathing.
"I'm sorry," Dominic murmured. "I didn't mean to--"
"It's understandable." Billy nodded, though Dominic couldn't see him. He wanted to say that everything would be okay, but truthfully, he knew it wouldn't be, and Billy couldn't lie to Dominic like that.
"I'm sorry," Dominic repeated, at a loss for anything else to say.
Billy put his hand on Dominic's knee. "You want to know something?"
"Always."
"I knew when I met you that we'd end up together."
"Oh yeah?" Dominic looked up. "Did you ever think we'd end up together in a cold, empty cell, awaiting death by starvation, or execution?"
Billy smiled sardonically. "Can't say I saw that coming."
"We'll have to--"
Dominic cut himself off, and when he didn't continue, Billy cocked his head and asked, "We'll have to what?"
"No point in thinking of it now. We don't have a future, Billy. Not beyond the next few days, anyway."
"Oh, Dommie, don't..."
Dominic pushed himself to his feet and paced. He walked in and out of the small patch of light from the single lightbulb set into the ceiling. There wasn't any light coming from beneath the door, and the lightbulb didn't even brighten the corners of the room. Billy slid down to lie on his back.
"Come sit down with me." Billy beckoned Dominic over with a wave of his hand.
"Can't."
"Can't?"
"I can't just sit there and wait for death."
"And I'm just waiting, am I?"
Dominic stopped moving. Billy turned his head to look at him.
"I'm not waiting. I just want to be with you," Billy said softly.
"I'm sorry, Bill."
"Stop apologising. C'mere."
Dominic sank to his knees in the middle of the cell, in the brightest spot beneath the light, with his hands clasped in his lap. He looked utterly defeated and weary.
"Come here, Dom."
Dominic crawled forward reluctantly on his hands and knees and settled down on his back next to Billy, lying his head on Billy's outstretched arm.
"You're warm," Billy muttered, turning to kiss Dominic's temple.
"I don't feel it. I feel cold."
"C'mere," Billy said again, pulling Dominic even closer to him.
"I think..."
"What?"
Dominic sighed and snuggled in. "This sounds sick and selfish, but I'm glad you're here."
"Yeah. Glad you're not alone. I am too."
"Right. I guess, if I'm going to die..." Dominic smiled. "Who better to do it with than you?"
Billy grinned and turned onto his side to face Dominic. They lay, nose-to-nose, knee-to-knee, and stared at each other for a few quiet moments.
"I'm glad you think so," Billy finally said.
Dominic turned his head and kissed Billy gently, tentatively reaching up his hand to stroke Billy's cheek. Dominic's fingertips still had traces of dried blood from when he'd been scratching desperately at the door. When he noticed this, he curled his hands into fists and tried to draw them away, but Billy caught his wrist and held him still.
"I'm sorry," Dominic breathed, referring to his earlier useless attempt at escape.
"Stop apologising," Billy replied, his voice equally soft, but there were undertones of power there.
Dominic opened his mouth, about to apologise again, and then closed it quickly. He sighed and closed his eyes. "How long have we been here?"
Billy petted Dominic's hair. "About a day and a half, as far as I can tell. Maybe longer, maybe shorter."
"I'm so tired, Billy."
"Rest, then, Dom. Try and sleep."
Without opening his eyes, Dominic replied, "I suppose there's nothing else to do."
Billy shifted around on the hard floor so that Dominic's head was pillowed on his chest. "Yeah. Might as well, eh?"
"Might as well." Dominic rested his hand on Billy's stomach for a moment, then slipped it underneath Billy's shirt, both for warmth, and just to feel Billy's skin.
Billy smiled and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Dominic's steadying breaths and feeling Dominic's body heat seep through his clothes and warm him. It eventually lulled him to sleep, and he woke up some indeterminable amount of time later to Dominic kissing and nuzzling his neck. His hand had drifted higher up beneath Billy's shirt and was gently rubbing his nipples.
Dominic sensed Billy wake up. "Billy. Love you," he whispered, flicking out his tongue to lick Billy's pulse point.
"Dom--"
"Love you. Don't want this to end."
"Neither do I."
Billy pulled Dominic up and in for a deep, slow kiss. When they broke apart, Billy opened his eyes and sought out Dominic's. They were a dark, stormy grey, from what Billy could see, which usually meant that Dominic was angry, but it might just be that the cell was too dark to see properly.
Dominic rolled over Billy to lie half-across his chest, one leg on either side of Billy's hips. Billy moved his hands up automatically to hold onto Dominic. He pushed at Dominic's shirt, trying to get it off, but Dominic kept his arms firmly down on his sides.
"What?" Billy asked.
"What?" Dominic asked back, feigning confusion.
"Lift your arms." It came out sounding like an order, so Billy tempered it with a concerned, compassionate look.
Dominic hesitated, staring down at Billy. Then he sat up on his knees and pulled his t-shirt over his head, uncovering purplish bruises on his shoulders and ribs.
"What's this, then?" Billy asked calmly.
"I, uh. From when I tried to break the door," Dominic explained self-consciously. When they'd first been locked in, Dominic had been bent on breaking down the door by force, which hadn't even come close to working. He'd stopped after a while, and it was now clear to Billy why.
"At least you tried," Billy said. "I just... gave up, didn't I?" Billy wrinkled his brow. "I'm sorry for that, Dom."
"No, Billy..." Dominic sighed and leaned back down to kiss Billy's forehead, then his mouth. "Enough blaming, enough apologies. Nothing we can do about it, now."
Billy closed his eyes. "Yeah. You're right."
Dominic kissed Billy again. "Make love to me, Bill," he whispered. "Please. One last time."
"Don't say that."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say that, either."
Dominic couldn't hold back a smile. "Okay. Make love to me, Billy."
"Okay."
Billy propped himself up on his elbows and let Dominic wrap his arms around Billy's neck. Billy kissed Dominic deeply, then, and slowly rolled them both over so that he was leaning on his hands above Dominic, whose legs were intertwined with Billy's.
"Dom..."
"Yeah. Love you."
Everything seemed to be stuck in slow-motion. Where Dominic would usually be rushing and fumbling, he was calm and deliberate, and Billy's movements were less restrained than normal, and more weary. He squirmed out of his trousers and pulled Dominic's jeans down after he'd kicked off his shoes. Dominic clung to Billy's jumper, which he'd kept on, and stretched it out of shape.
Billy's hands slid over Dominic's thighs and stomach, brushed across his nipples and the bruises on his ribs. Dominic tugged at Billy's jumper, trying to pull it over his head.
"C'mon, Billy."
"I'm cold, Dommie."
Dominic chuckled. "I'll keep you warm."
"I don't doubt it," Billy replied with a grin.
Dominic tightened his arms around Billy and pulled him down so they were lying chest-to-chest. He sighed, feeling the expansion of Billy's ribs as he did the same.
"This is nice," he whispered, reveling in their shared body heat and Billy's weight pressing down on him. The unforgiving concrete floor was even warming up beneath them.
Billy bit back his first thought, It could be so much better, and hummed in agreement. "Is this hurting your shoulders?"
"No," Dominic lied. "C'mon, Bill. I want you to make love to me. C'mon."
"Yeah. Okay." Billy pushed back up onto his hands and stared down at Dominic's face. He looked exhausted and dirty--they both did--but beautiful all the same, in the way that took Billy's breath away sometimes.
The words One last time hung in the air as if spoken, but Billy steadfastly ignored them. Dominic grimaced and did the same, determined to make this good.
Billy rubbed his nose against Dominic's, teasing him with brief, chaste kisses. His arms were beginning to tire, so he lowered himself down to his elbows and forearms, trapping Dominic's head between his hands.
"Y'cannae escape, my Dommeh," Billy murmured, his lips brushing against Dominic's as he spoke. His accent had thickened with desire, and he could feel Dominic's approval against his hip.
Dominic bent his knees and pushed his hips up into Billy's, but stopped abruptly with a wince of pain. Concern flashed across Billy's face.
"Can't... bend like that," Dominic explained, blushing fiercely. "Hurts."
"Turn over, Dom. On top of me." Billy nudged Dominic up, rolling them that he was lying on his back with Dominic straddling his thighs. "You up for this instead?"
Dominic's right hand drifted down and curled into a loose fist around Billy's hard length. "Yeah, I think so," he said with a smirk. Billy grasped Dominic's hips, then his arse, urging him on. "This is..."
"I know."
Dominic smiled peacefully, slowly stroking Billy's erection. He turned his face upward, towards the dim lightbulb, and imagined it was sunlight, or, perhaps, because it was so dim, moonlight. In his head, he pictured trees around them, and grass beneath them. Maybe a blanket and a half-eaten picnic dinner, with a bottle of wine.
"What are you thinkin', love?"
Billy's fingers dipped lower to rub at Dominic's hole. Dominic pushed his hips back against Billy's hands, desperate for more.
"Remember that time we went out camping without a tent or anything? Just dinner and breakfast and a blanket--"
"And candles," Billy added.
"And candles," Dominic agreed. He gingerly lowered himself to his elbows to give Billy a deep, desperate kiss. "And we made love under the stars and then again at sunrise."
As Dominic spoke, Billy imagined them back in that forest clearing, with the sun breaking over the treetops and throwing shadows of leaves over Dominic's face. "So beautiful, Dommeh."
Dominic groaned as Billy's fingers entered him, dropping his head down to Billy's shoulder. "Fuck. Hurts."
"What does, Dom?"
"My chest," Dominic said through gritted teeth.
Billy slid his hand between them to push Dominic upright. "Sit up, love. Don't--"
"God, I can't even fucking move anymore."
"Dom. We shouldn't do this. It'll only hurt you right now."
Dominic opened his eyes to stare down at Billy. "Keep going."
Billy was about to object, but Dominic interrupted him.
"Billy, please. Keep going. I want you so badly, and it will only get worse if we wait. Please."
Dominic's eyes showed Billy all of his desperation and how much Billy was keeping him from going mad. Billy saw Dominic's unconditional love, and trust, and Billy couldn't say anything other than, "Yes."
"I feel so stupid, Billy. I did this to myself," he whispered.
"You tried to survive, Dom, there's no shame in that."
"Billy, please, fuck me," Dominic growled. "One last time."
The words they'd tried to avoid acted like a catalyst for Billy. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and surged up to kiss Dominic more passionately than they'd kissed thus far. Dominic's tongue traced Billy's dry, cracked lips, seeking entrance. Billy's hands, meanwhile, returned to Dominic's arse, slowly stretching him and kneading his flesh.
"Oh god, Billy."
"Dom--"
"Do it, Bill, fuck me, now."
"Yes..." Billy gasped, positioning his cock at Dominic's entrance. "Yes."
"Ohh, oh god, Bill." Dominic groaned loudly as Billy entered him. He tried to mask the brief expression of pain as it crossed his face, but Billy saw it, of course, and stopped moving. "No, no, keep--God, Billy, just fuck me."
"Dom, I don't want to hurt you."
"Please, Billy," Dominic breathed, tears shining at the corner of his eyes. "I want this to be the end."
"But I don't want it to end."
"Billy..."
"I want you so much, my gorgeous lad, but I don't want it to end."
Dominic sighed and nodded. "Then finish it, and we'll keep surviving afterward," he said after a moment. "It doesn't have to--It won't be the end."
"Promise me."
"It won't be the end of us, I promise you, Billy. I love you."
With renewed determination, Billy grabbed onto Dominic's hands and held them tightly. "Tell me you want it, then."
"I want you so badly," Dominic gasped.
"Dommeh. Oh, god, Dom." Billy blinked tears out of his eyes and looked up at Dominic's upturned face. "I'll never deny you anything, Dom. Never."
"Never's not far off, now." Dominic looked down at Billy and raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.
"Doesn't matter."
"Keep saying that, Billy. Make it okay."
Billy closed his eyes at Dominic's words. He couldn't possibly make dying okay. But he could give Dominic this last night, make it as good as it could possibly be, under the circumstances. He thrust up into Dominic with desperate abandon, encouraged by Dominic's throaty moans. Behind closed eyes, he imagined, as they'd been doing earlier, that things were more comfortable, more pleasurable, more... Just more.
"Look at me," Dominic murmured, sliding his fingers across Billy's sweat-damp clavicle. "Billy."
So Billy opened his eyes, focused on Dominic. He almost said, I wish I could make things better, but that wasn't what Dominic wanted to hear. "I love you," he whispered, instead.
"Then come for me."
Billy smirked. "You first." He rubbed his hands up Dominic's thighs, then grasped his full, hard cock and stroked it quickly. Dominic's forehead creased in pleasure and self-restraint, and his muscles clenched around Billy.
Dominic sighed, too tired to do anything more vocal or energetic. "Billy..." he breathed, "C'mon."
"Oh, god, Dominic--"
"Yeah, Billy, come for me."
Billy shook his head, wanting to prolong the moment, the feeling of balancing on the edge of a precipice, but he came anyway, in a sudden, building rush of pleasure. He arched off the ground, clutching at Dominic's hand, and his breath caught in his throat. Once he'd regained his senses, he pushed himself up on his elbows, watching Dominic's fluid expressions through glazed eyes.
"Love you," he whispered, and Dominic nodded. "Now. Your turn."
Dominic grinned and, for a moment, forgot that they were locked in a cold, empty cell. Billy leaned up, put his hand around Dominic's neck, and kissed Dominic hard, thrusting his tongue between Dominic's lips. While he had Dominic distracted, Billy slid his other hand down Dominic's chest to encircle his cock, and he quickly stroked Dominic to completion, slowing his hand only when Dominic's come trickled over his fist.
His eyes half-closed, Dominic wrapped his arms around Billy's shoulders and kissed him softly. "That was good."
"It was," Billy agreed, nudging Dominic's nose with his own.
"I'm tired."
"Me too."
Dominic nodded and gingerly lowered himself to the floor, his head turned to the side to face Billy, who retrieved one of their shirts--he couldn't even remember who'd been wearing it earlier--to clean up a bit. As he tossed it back into the pile of clothing, a thought struck him and he leaned over to grab the other shirt, which he bundled into a sort of pillow that he and Dominic could share.
He lay down beside Dominic and put a comforting arm around him. Dominic curled into Billy's side, sighing contentedly, and kissed Billy's neck.
"I guess we should sleep, now."
"I suppose so." Billy watched Dominic's eyes slowly close, then felt his breathing slowly deepen. He brushed a few strands of hair from Dominic's forehead. "Sleep well, love."
Dominic had promised him that this wasn't the end, but now Billy realized that he actually wanted it to be.
"If it's gonna end, might as well be with a perfect moment like this," Billy whispered, pressing his lips to Dominic's forehead.
Dominic stirred at Billy's touch, but he didn't wake completely. "Mmm, perf'ct."
fin.