Fic: Runaway - LII. Time
Series info, summary, warnings, and disclaimer
Previous chapters
Chapter Title: Time
Chapter Summary: Time doesn't heal all wounds
“Billy…”
“Jack? Is that you?”
Jack sighed. “Yeah. Billy, I… I’m sorry. I tried, I tried so hard, but I couldn’t-nothing would-I haven’t found any solid leads. Nothing. God, I’m sorry, Bill. I talked to… to a few people, and I got some information, but it didn’t… Everything was a dead end. I’m so sorry.”
Billy swallowed several times around the lump in his throat. He tried to look at the positive side to this: Jack hadn’t found Dom, but he had found something. And that was a start.
“What, uh… What did you find out, then?”
Jack hesitated before answering. “He’s alive, Billy. At least, the last time anyone saw him, he was alive, and it was definitely him.”
“He-he’s alive? Dom’s alive? You’re sure? Dom-he-Dom is-"
“Billy. The last time anyone saw him, two days ago, he was alive.”
“Where? Where is he? I mean, where was he? He’s alive?”
“He’s alive, Billy, as far as I know. The last anyone saw of him, he was in Germany.”
“That bastard! He was… He’s alive, though? Sorry. What else?”
“That’s it, just about. He had a friend here-”
“You’re in Germany?”
“I’m at the airport.”
“Coming back?”
“No-well, yes, but I was killing two birds with one stone: buying my own ticket home and checking with security for anyone that fits Dominic’s description.”
“So, um, you were saying he had a friend?”
“Yeah. He said… Billy, he said Dom was pretty messed up when he left.” Jack couldn’t breathe as he waited for Billy’s reaction.
“What… What do you mean? What did he mean?” Billy’s voice was slow and calculated, as if he was putting a lot of effort into making himself sound calm. Which, Jack realized, he probably was.
“When Dom called you… Fuck. When he called you, he had a razorblade to his wrist,” Jack said bluntly.
Billy’s sudden, shuddering gasp was enough to break Jack’s heart.
“This guy, this friend, he said Dom ran away again and that he doesn’t want to be found this time. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going,” he continued slowly
“But… He did last time? He told someone?”
“Yeah. This friend wouldn’t say who, but apparently someone knew Dom was still alive,” Jack lied.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He couldn’t believe he was willingly giving up on this case. Viggo and Hans’ words had sunk in and Jack knew that Dom really didn’t want to be found this time. He knew, somehow, that if he did try to find Dom, if he did try to bring him back, it would only result in another disaster.
“I can’t find him, Billy. I’m sorry.” He exhaled sharply. “If anything new ever comes up, if he calls you again or anything, contact me, alright? I’ll try again then.”
“Thank you, Jack. You’ve been a great help. Thanks.”
Billy’s voice sounded numb to Jack’s ears, but he wasn’t sure if it was Billy who was numb or himself.
***
Three Weeks Later…
“I’m off to rehearsal,” Dom called through the small flat. No one answered. “Don’t burn the fucking building down while I’m gone, I need a place to sleep tonight!” A feeble laugh emanated from one of the bedrooms. Dom rolled his eyes and slammed the door on his way out.
After rehearsal, Dom was slow to gather his things and head out. One of the actresses, Helena, hooked her arm through his and pulled him along. “You’re coming out with me tonight,” she said. “You look like you could use some cheering up.”
Dom was glad to have a reason not to go back to the flat he shared with three other men, but he didn’t have any money to spare for a meal out. “I’m skint, Helena, I can’t go out anywhere. And I can’t go home yet.”
“Why not, love? And don’t worry about it; I’ll pay. I’m at least not as bad off as you, apparently.”
“One of my flatmates…” Dom sighed. “Well, it’s a shitehole, really, my flat. There’s always too many people there and at least half of them are passed out drunk or maybe overdosing on heroin, I dunno. I’m going to go mad if I stay there much longer. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to dump all this on you. Maybe some other time for dinner?”
“No, Nicky. You just said you can’t go back to your flat, so I’m taking you out tonight whether you like it or not. Do you have another job, besides acting?”
Dom sighed again and rubbed his eyes. “Not yet. I can’t find anything, and I can’t make rent this month, which means I’ll be in debt to my junkie flatmates, and I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
“C’mon, let’s go for a drink then. If anyone needs one, it’s you.”
Helena smiled encouragingly at him and Dom found himself smiling back. “Oh fuck, no, wait. I can’t. I can’t… get into that again.” He glanced around and looked down at his feet. “If I give in once, I won’t be able to stop, and then going home to drug addicts will seem like the best fucking idea in the world. Helena, I’m sorry. I just need to… stay away from everything for a while, okay? Maybe after I get a job and a new flat and a life… Maybe then things will be better.”
“Are you just going to wander around until you’re too tired to resist going home?” she asked knowingly. Dom nodded. “Well, there’s not much I can do to stop you. Keep yourself out of trouble, love. And if you ever need someone to talk to, you can come to me, alright?”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend, 'Lena.”
Helena gave him a sad smile and turned around, heading for the bus stop at the end of the street. Dom waved goodbye and stuck his hands in his pockets, preparing to do exactly what she had suspected: wander around aimlessly until he was too exhausted to stay out.
***
“I’m trying to be happy for him. I mean, I’m having trouble being happy, but at least he’s alive, right?” Billy said hopefully. Viggo nodded. “I guess it’s better, just knowing that he’s not gone. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever see him again.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“But he’s alive, and that’s what matters.”
“Right.” Viggo reached out and draped his arm over Billy’s shoulders as they walked. “I’m sure he’d be happier knowing that you’re moving on.”
“Yeah.” Billy sighed. “It’s hard, Vig, it really is. I’m trying, though.” They were silent for several minutes, continuing along the beach and gazing out at the crashing waves.
“What if he… What if he did kill himself, though?” Billy finally asked. “There’s no way I’d know. Sometimes I think… I think it’s what he disappeared to go do, y’know? Like, he just wanted a bit of privacy for it.”
Viggo didn’t meet Billy’s eyes, but he nodded. “That may very well be the case, Bill.”
“Do you believe he’s still alive? Out there, somewhere, starting a new life?”
“I hope so, Billy, I really do.”
“I want to believe it, too. As more time goes on, though… I don’t know if I can anymore.”
Next: Suspicious
Previous chapters
Chapter Title: Time
Chapter Summary: Time doesn't heal all wounds
“Billy…”
“Jack? Is that you?”
Jack sighed. “Yeah. Billy, I… I’m sorry. I tried, I tried so hard, but I couldn’t-nothing would-I haven’t found any solid leads. Nothing. God, I’m sorry, Bill. I talked to… to a few people, and I got some information, but it didn’t… Everything was a dead end. I’m so sorry.”
Billy swallowed several times around the lump in his throat. He tried to look at the positive side to this: Jack hadn’t found Dom, but he had found something. And that was a start.
“What, uh… What did you find out, then?”
Jack hesitated before answering. “He’s alive, Billy. At least, the last time anyone saw him, he was alive, and it was definitely him.”
“He-he’s alive? Dom’s alive? You’re sure? Dom-he-Dom is-"
“Billy. The last time anyone saw him, two days ago, he was alive.”
“Where? Where is he? I mean, where was he? He’s alive?”
“He’s alive, Billy, as far as I know. The last anyone saw of him, he was in Germany.”
“That bastard! He was… He’s alive, though? Sorry. What else?”
“That’s it, just about. He had a friend here-”
“You’re in Germany?”
“I’m at the airport.”
“Coming back?”
“No-well, yes, but I was killing two birds with one stone: buying my own ticket home and checking with security for anyone that fits Dominic’s description.”
“So, um, you were saying he had a friend?”
“Yeah. He said… Billy, he said Dom was pretty messed up when he left.” Jack couldn’t breathe as he waited for Billy’s reaction.
“What… What do you mean? What did he mean?” Billy’s voice was slow and calculated, as if he was putting a lot of effort into making himself sound calm. Which, Jack realized, he probably was.
“When Dom called you… Fuck. When he called you, he had a razorblade to his wrist,” Jack said bluntly.
Billy’s sudden, shuddering gasp was enough to break Jack’s heart.
“This guy, this friend, he said Dom ran away again and that he doesn’t want to be found this time. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going,” he continued slowly
“But… He did last time? He told someone?”
“Yeah. This friend wouldn’t say who, but apparently someone knew Dom was still alive,” Jack lied.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He couldn’t believe he was willingly giving up on this case. Viggo and Hans’ words had sunk in and Jack knew that Dom really didn’t want to be found this time. He knew, somehow, that if he did try to find Dom, if he did try to bring him back, it would only result in another disaster.
“I can’t find him, Billy. I’m sorry.” He exhaled sharply. “If anything new ever comes up, if he calls you again or anything, contact me, alright? I’ll try again then.”
“Thank you, Jack. You’ve been a great help. Thanks.”
Billy’s voice sounded numb to Jack’s ears, but he wasn’t sure if it was Billy who was numb or himself.
***
Three Weeks Later…
“I’m off to rehearsal,” Dom called through the small flat. No one answered. “Don’t burn the fucking building down while I’m gone, I need a place to sleep tonight!” A feeble laugh emanated from one of the bedrooms. Dom rolled his eyes and slammed the door on his way out.
After rehearsal, Dom was slow to gather his things and head out. One of the actresses, Helena, hooked her arm through his and pulled him along. “You’re coming out with me tonight,” she said. “You look like you could use some cheering up.”
Dom was glad to have a reason not to go back to the flat he shared with three other men, but he didn’t have any money to spare for a meal out. “I’m skint, Helena, I can’t go out anywhere. And I can’t go home yet.”
“Why not, love? And don’t worry about it; I’ll pay. I’m at least not as bad off as you, apparently.”
“One of my flatmates…” Dom sighed. “Well, it’s a shitehole, really, my flat. There’s always too many people there and at least half of them are passed out drunk or maybe overdosing on heroin, I dunno. I’m going to go mad if I stay there much longer. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to dump all this on you. Maybe some other time for dinner?”
“No, Nicky. You just said you can’t go back to your flat, so I’m taking you out tonight whether you like it or not. Do you have another job, besides acting?”
Dom sighed again and rubbed his eyes. “Not yet. I can’t find anything, and I can’t make rent this month, which means I’ll be in debt to my junkie flatmates, and I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
“C’mon, let’s go for a drink then. If anyone needs one, it’s you.”
Helena smiled encouragingly at him and Dom found himself smiling back. “Oh fuck, no, wait. I can’t. I can’t… get into that again.” He glanced around and looked down at his feet. “If I give in once, I won’t be able to stop, and then going home to drug addicts will seem like the best fucking idea in the world. Helena, I’m sorry. I just need to… stay away from everything for a while, okay? Maybe after I get a job and a new flat and a life… Maybe then things will be better.”
“Are you just going to wander around until you’re too tired to resist going home?” she asked knowingly. Dom nodded. “Well, there’s not much I can do to stop you. Keep yourself out of trouble, love. And if you ever need someone to talk to, you can come to me, alright?”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend, 'Lena.”
Helena gave him a sad smile and turned around, heading for the bus stop at the end of the street. Dom waved goodbye and stuck his hands in his pockets, preparing to do exactly what she had suspected: wander around aimlessly until he was too exhausted to stay out.
***
“I’m trying to be happy for him. I mean, I’m having trouble being happy, but at least he’s alive, right?” Billy said hopefully. Viggo nodded. “I guess it’s better, just knowing that he’s not gone. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever see him again.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“But he’s alive, and that’s what matters.”
“Right.” Viggo reached out and draped his arm over Billy’s shoulders as they walked. “I’m sure he’d be happier knowing that you’re moving on.”
“Yeah.” Billy sighed. “It’s hard, Vig, it really is. I’m trying, though.” They were silent for several minutes, continuing along the beach and gazing out at the crashing waves.
“What if he… What if he did kill himself, though?” Billy finally asked. “There’s no way I’d know. Sometimes I think… I think it’s what he disappeared to go do, y’know? Like, he just wanted a bit of privacy for it.”
Viggo didn’t meet Billy’s eyes, but he nodded. “That may very well be the case, Bill.”
“Do you believe he’s still alive? Out there, somewhere, starting a new life?”
“I hope so, Billy, I really do.”
“I want to believe it, too. As more time goes on, though… I don’t know if I can anymore.”
Next: Suspicious