life sucks. . .
I am so unbelievably glad I'm getting away from here this weekend. The last two weeks have pretty much brought me a lot of pain and confusion and not much else. I am an emotional wreck still. From time to time, it is better for awhile, but then it passes and the shitty-ness returns with even more crap to dump on me. If you are a guy and you are
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You have to destroy pride, and reconise that you alone are not the only valuable person. Or in the case of a lacking self confidence, you have to see all things are valuable. "Can you compair a bambo shaft to a great oak tree? Is one greater than the other? Of course not, because the universe, the whole of the universe would be saddened if we lost one or the other."
True confidence is to reconconise that all things are valuable. That greatness derives it's existance from smallness, light from darkness and hardness from softness.
Only then can you find your way to humility. There is a great difference between beign humble and lacking selfconfidence. The bridge between the two is real confidence, and the pit is passes over is pride.
Central I think to happiness without so many tears is to understand that you are nessessary. The world cannot be without you. All things derive there existance in relationship to other things. Without you, we would all be lacking.
If someone finds that they have no self confidence, they should first, I think, seek to elivate themselves. Trying to find true confidence, seeing the value of all things is mostly impossible if you don't see your own value. Then, you would only be dragging them down in your own mind.
I don't know if you lack confidence or not Erin, though maybe you do. Maybe you have a difficult time at home, a controlling mother or a protective father, it was difficult to feel good enough if that is how things were. Maybe there was more to it than that.
Maybe even, your faith could be damaged by someone you love and respect like few others sticking a knife in your back. If someone you care for that much could, why wouldn't anyone else?
People make mistakes, and sometimes, we can't all be the best judges of character, (; and sometimes we shoot our mouths off when we shouldn't.
And though these things hurt, and our emotions are formed up by them, you have to remember something through it, how worthwile and special you are.
Your practically an angel. Your there for people, people who need you, if you want to be or not. Your willing very often, to do what you can. And I know you well enough to know that you yourself are fighting everyday. You are good to talk to. You make others feel well, loved, not alone. You reminded me of what being a good person can be like, even if I still forget from time to time, I am afterall, an insecure asshole (;
Your fun to talk to. You have a strong heart, which always rebuilds no matter what force comes to knock it down. Your trust worthy, respectible, you put strong effort into what you care for.
You forget that about yourself.
Your beautiful, and charming. (; you have awesome hair. And an amazing singing voice. Unique.
Your all that Erin, and I know it.
Be well,
John
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