So many beautiful things...
Why do I ALWAYS take people's problems and turn them into mine?
I'm not gonna lie last night was so crazy that it was kind of sexy in a deathly way. I think i feed on drama like buffalo chicken pizza pah, and hm it is starting to make sense why I want to be a journalist.
So basically, last night there was nothing going on, but oh did it turn into quite a night. I feel like bad things just gravitate towards me I swear and fucked up people tend to be friend me or is it the opposite way around we don't know.
I picked up Sarah and Derek on the side of the road walking to the liquor store cause I wanted Derek to buy me vodka for tonight, but I guess he keeps a spare bottle in his pocket hahahaha so he just gave me that what the fuck. Anyways, so Derek bought Sarah a bottle of Johnny Walker Red and I guess she already had a bottle of Bacardi and SoCo. Then I guess Sarah was going to her friend Chris Stevenson's House so Derek and I dropped her off there. But before while we were in the car she showed me the shrooms she had in her backpack, and it was pretty iLL i'm not gonna lie cause I've never actually seen shrooms. I guess she was suppose to take them the night before but it didn't go through so she was going to take them another night. Sarah showed them to Derek and he told her NOT to eat them all because She's never taken them before and she might freak out if she eats the whole 8th.
You know.... I really wanted to try shrooms so badly, but my paranoia issues would definitely send me into a bad fucking trip that I would never come out of... meh dissapointing.
So later on Alexa and Kyle came over my house and we basically just drank in my basement and watched basketball on TV. It kind of freaked me out that I had 3 shots and 4 beers and didn't feel drunk at the least bit. Meh. Then later on when I went to pee in the bathroom while Kyle and Alexa were downstairs I hear my Dad muttering to my Mother,
" You know if Kyle and Alexa wanna fucking makeout they can just leave."
That fucking pisses me off my dad kept thinking that everytime I went upstairs to grab something my whole point was to leave them alone to makeout.... is he fucking retarded? I really can't stand him sometimes... well actually all the fucking time but that's really not the issue at hand. The point was it got me pissed off so I told Alexa and Kyle and we all left and I went to Derek's House.
Derek and I were watching " Walk the Line," which by the way is a good movie I've seen bits and pieces before but actually when I watched basically the whole thing I wasn't TOO impressed...maybe I was too distracted I don't know. Suprisingly I had a good time for the most part watching that movie with Derek, and it made me miss him as my boyfriend well I mean he sort of is still in a sense but I don't really know. So while we were making out, I see that Sarah is calling. So I pick up the phone and Sarah is hysterically crying. So right away this is alarming since I've never heard Sarah cry in my entire life. All I can hear is her hyperventilating trying to get words out saying that she's lost in the woods and she doesn't know where and she has no coat on. Also She continues to cry that she's drunk and she told me she took the shrooms and someone gave her a pill of oxycodine. So right now I'm fucking bugging out. I mean this isn't the first time Sarah has done something fucking retarded and calls me for help. Last time I don't remember if I wrote about it but she got drunken in a hotel room by herself at a BBYO which is a jewish youth group convention that SHE organized and they found her drunk and she ran away from them out into the streets and wasn't gonna go back. But anyways, So I'm thinking what the fuck do i do? I don't know if I should call the cops cause maybe she will find her way out but she's beyond fucked up, and Derek reminds me of how Willie died from OD'ing on Oxy, so I just keep flipping out. Then Sarah tells me her phone is gonna die. She hangs up, I call her back and she's so delusionally speaking telling me she'd see me at school on monday in a sad little voice, and then that was the last I heard from her. CALL....VOICEMAIL....CALL........VOICEMAIL... I couldn't get through to her.... the phone died she was right. So now Derek and I are panicking I mean if it was the summer I would of been not as scared but the fact she told me she had no coat on, lost in the woods, on drugs and drinking... she's gonna fucking die out there.
So I call Danielle.
No ANSWER. FUCK.
Then I question, Should I call Greg?
Awkward shit.
Okay Let's do it.
Of course he doesn't pick up.
Blocked number, no answer.
Call again, message Sarah's in trouble call your girlfriend and have her call me.
Danielle calls back.
I tell her what Sarah told me and she doesn't know what to do.
She wakes up her MOM.
911 call.
So the cops are going to Danielle's House now.
By the way, It is 2 am, so my Mom starts calling me screaming at me to get home. I tell her what's going on that Sarah's in trouble, and she tells me it's not my problem and that I need to get home. That pissed the fuck out of me. So I just went out with Derek to look for Sarah.
Get over near Bear Mountain... ummmm... start to realize how much woods is over here. Go back Home.
I continue to get screamed at by my mother every 4 seconds.
Finally drop Derek off and go Home. This is around 3.
Now my Mom turns this whole night into her and just gets up leaves the house and drives away to New Milford. She's so pathetic, my Fucking friend is dying in the woods and She only cares about how my Dad yelled at her to tell me to come home.
All I keep thinking about is this sick image of the cops shining a light on a little tank top skinny body with dirty long blonde hair frozen to a rock with her eyes wide open completely frozen to death. sdkfjskfjdksjfksljfls jlsdjf sklfs
This is when the Cops start calling me.
I tell them what she told me. Then I get a call from Davey Lala that he got in contact with Sarah and that she kept hanging up the phone because there were guys screaming at her to turn off the fucking phone in the background.
Now I'm scared she's gonna get fucking raped or she's kidnapped.
I tell the cops.
They don't stop calling.
One after a fucking other.... I'm trying to sleep by now since it is 5. Then I think it is another cop, but it is Derek. He tells me there is a helicopter flying over his house, then now the helicopter is over my house. What the fuck is going on!
Danielle tells me by 7 o clock that there 8 search dogs out looking for her, 16 cops, and that 1 helicopter.
What really sickens myself and I hate to say it cause it so fucking disgusting, but for some odd reason I wanted her to die. I know that sounds fucking sick but I don't know why i was fascinated with it. I've never had a friend die before and the fact that I was basically one of the last people she talked to before she died. But then I started to realize how sick that was, and for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it. I feel fucking disgusted with myself. Then I started to think that she was dead and going to haunt me since I said that. I went upstairs and checked the weather online, and it said that it was 11 degrees outside but it felt like 5 degrees. Imagine being outside with a tanktop on for god knows how many hours in 11 degree weather = death.
I find out around 8 o' clock they found her. They traced a call from her to her Dad from Davey LaLa's house. They go in his house and see her watching tv in the living room. They tell her thanks for wasting their time, and she just stared at them with a smirk. She told Danielle that she was fine and she didn't need anyone's help.
I feel pathetic for worrying about someone who felt they could take care of themselves... walking half way across town fucked up completely denying to me that they were anything but sober.
I told the police ya know...it is Sarah Sears the girl walked to Bear Mountain from her house once, climbed into a tree and fell asleep. She could be anywhere.
Eh, It's the truth.
Sarah is full of liesssssssssssssss. I should probably stop caring about her. I always feel the need to help me, and I think that's my downfall.
I'm falling hard then.
I'm not gonna lie last night was so crazy that it was kind of sexy in a deathly way. I think i feed on drama like buffalo chicken pizza pah, and hm it is starting to make sense why I want to be a journalist.
So basically, last night there was nothing going on, but oh did it turn into quite a night. I feel like bad things just gravitate towards me I swear and fucked up people tend to be friend me or is it the opposite way around we don't know.
I picked up Sarah and Derek on the side of the road walking to the liquor store cause I wanted Derek to buy me vodka for tonight, but I guess he keeps a spare bottle in his pocket hahahaha so he just gave me that what the fuck. Anyways, so Derek bought Sarah a bottle of Johnny Walker Red and I guess she already had a bottle of Bacardi and SoCo. Then I guess Sarah was going to her friend Chris Stevenson's House so Derek and I dropped her off there. But before while we were in the car she showed me the shrooms she had in her backpack, and it was pretty iLL i'm not gonna lie cause I've never actually seen shrooms. I guess she was suppose to take them the night before but it didn't go through so she was going to take them another night. Sarah showed them to Derek and he told her NOT to eat them all because She's never taken them before and she might freak out if she eats the whole 8th.
You know.... I really wanted to try shrooms so badly, but my paranoia issues would definitely send me into a bad fucking trip that I would never come out of... meh dissapointing.
So later on Alexa and Kyle came over my house and we basically just drank in my basement and watched basketball on TV. It kind of freaked me out that I had 3 shots and 4 beers and didn't feel drunk at the least bit. Meh. Then later on when I went to pee in the bathroom while Kyle and Alexa were downstairs I hear my Dad muttering to my Mother,
" You know if Kyle and Alexa wanna fucking makeout they can just leave."
That fucking pisses me off my dad kept thinking that everytime I went upstairs to grab something my whole point was to leave them alone to makeout.... is he fucking retarded? I really can't stand him sometimes... well actually all the fucking time but that's really not the issue at hand. The point was it got me pissed off so I told Alexa and Kyle and we all left and I went to Derek's House.
Derek and I were watching " Walk the Line," which by the way is a good movie I've seen bits and pieces before but actually when I watched basically the whole thing I wasn't TOO impressed...maybe I was too distracted I don't know. Suprisingly I had a good time for the most part watching that movie with Derek, and it made me miss him as my boyfriend well I mean he sort of is still in a sense but I don't really know. So while we were making out, I see that Sarah is calling. So I pick up the phone and Sarah is hysterically crying. So right away this is alarming since I've never heard Sarah cry in my entire life. All I can hear is her hyperventilating trying to get words out saying that she's lost in the woods and she doesn't know where and she has no coat on. Also She continues to cry that she's drunk and she told me she took the shrooms and someone gave her a pill of oxycodine. So right now I'm fucking bugging out. I mean this isn't the first time Sarah has done something fucking retarded and calls me for help. Last time I don't remember if I wrote about it but she got drunken in a hotel room by herself at a BBYO which is a jewish youth group convention that SHE organized and they found her drunk and she ran away from them out into the streets and wasn't gonna go back. But anyways, So I'm thinking what the fuck do i do? I don't know if I should call the cops cause maybe she will find her way out but she's beyond fucked up, and Derek reminds me of how Willie died from OD'ing on Oxy, so I just keep flipping out. Then Sarah tells me her phone is gonna die. She hangs up, I call her back and she's so delusionally speaking telling me she'd see me at school on monday in a sad little voice, and then that was the last I heard from her. CALL....VOICEMAIL....CALL........VOICEMAIL... I couldn't get through to her.... the phone died she was right. So now Derek and I are panicking I mean if it was the summer I would of been not as scared but the fact she told me she had no coat on, lost in the woods, on drugs and drinking... she's gonna fucking die out there.
So I call Danielle.
No ANSWER. FUCK.
Then I question, Should I call Greg?
Awkward shit.
Okay Let's do it.
Of course he doesn't pick up.
Blocked number, no answer.
Call again, message Sarah's in trouble call your girlfriend and have her call me.
Danielle calls back.
I tell her what Sarah told me and she doesn't know what to do.
She wakes up her MOM.
911 call.
So the cops are going to Danielle's House now.
By the way, It is 2 am, so my Mom starts calling me screaming at me to get home. I tell her what's going on that Sarah's in trouble, and she tells me it's not my problem and that I need to get home. That pissed the fuck out of me. So I just went out with Derek to look for Sarah.
Get over near Bear Mountain... ummmm... start to realize how much woods is over here. Go back Home.
I continue to get screamed at by my mother every 4 seconds.
Finally drop Derek off and go Home. This is around 3.
Now my Mom turns this whole night into her and just gets up leaves the house and drives away to New Milford. She's so pathetic, my Fucking friend is dying in the woods and She only cares about how my Dad yelled at her to tell me to come home.
All I keep thinking about is this sick image of the cops shining a light on a little tank top skinny body with dirty long blonde hair frozen to a rock with her eyes wide open completely frozen to death. sdkfjskfjdksjfksljfls jlsdjf sklfs
This is when the Cops start calling me.
I tell them what she told me. Then I get a call from Davey Lala that he got in contact with Sarah and that she kept hanging up the phone because there were guys screaming at her to turn off the fucking phone in the background.
Now I'm scared she's gonna get fucking raped or she's kidnapped.
I tell the cops.
They don't stop calling.
One after a fucking other.... I'm trying to sleep by now since it is 5. Then I think it is another cop, but it is Derek. He tells me there is a helicopter flying over his house, then now the helicopter is over my house. What the fuck is going on!
Danielle tells me by 7 o clock that there 8 search dogs out looking for her, 16 cops, and that 1 helicopter.
What really sickens myself and I hate to say it cause it so fucking disgusting, but for some odd reason I wanted her to die. I know that sounds fucking sick but I don't know why i was fascinated with it. I've never had a friend die before and the fact that I was basically one of the last people she talked to before she died. But then I started to realize how sick that was, and for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it. I feel fucking disgusted with myself. Then I started to think that she was dead and going to haunt me since I said that. I went upstairs and checked the weather online, and it said that it was 11 degrees outside but it felt like 5 degrees. Imagine being outside with a tanktop on for god knows how many hours in 11 degree weather = death.
I find out around 8 o' clock they found her. They traced a call from her to her Dad from Davey LaLa's house. They go in his house and see her watching tv in the living room. They tell her thanks for wasting their time, and she just stared at them with a smirk. She told Danielle that she was fine and she didn't need anyone's help.
I feel pathetic for worrying about someone who felt they could take care of themselves... walking half way across town fucked up completely denying to me that they were anything but sober.
I told the police ya know...it is Sarah Sears the girl walked to Bear Mountain from her house once, climbed into a tree and fell asleep. She could be anywhere.
Eh, It's the truth.
Sarah is full of liesssssssssssssss. I should probably stop caring about her. I always feel the need to help me, and I think that's my downfall.
I'm falling hard then.