she was shaking her hips
all the time i think of things i want to write about but by the time i get to my computer, they're all gone. they're really great ideas, too, meaningful things, funny things, unique observations; then they just evaporate, like so much smoke poisoning my lungs and dissipating in the air upon exhalation.
went to a pre-med/medical student conference the past few days and i want to be a doctor more than ever before, if that's possible. i met some amazing people, learned quite a bit about the entire applying to med school process, and decided, finally, that maybe houston isn't so bad after all (i've never been very fond of the city as a whole). and, baylor college of medicine may be the only place in texas i would consider going to med school. columbia is still my first choice, but baylor was badass.
why is it that even in that environment, even compared to the lecturer in one of the sessions i attended, i am better informed about healthcare issues facing the glbt population? it's been that way for years now. still, she had some cool ideas about how to make your practice/intake forms/waiting room inviting for any minority group, and i liked that aspect. plus, i got to use the word "gaydar" with a bunch of nerds. how cool is that?? haha.
tonight, i'm going to turn off my cell phone, turn off my laptop, and put tape over or unplug all the clocks in my apartment. tomorrow shall be a day with no interference. i want to see how i do mentally and physically with no clocks and no email/livejournal/myspace and no phone to call others or receive calls from others. i just want to unplug (the matrix, anyone?). this idea came to me tonight as i was driving back from houston. and along with that idea came the idea that maybe i should do a week without cell phone and computer (esp. email), with the exception of checking voicemail once or twice a day in case someone really needed me. still thinking about that one. and how am i gonna know tomorrow night when it's time to go to church?
i'm still thinking about the peace corps. maybe i can take the mcat in april, take the classes i need over the summer, and then disappear to some third world country for two years next fall. that would screw over my school if they decided they wanted me for the tech position next school year, but, as much as i want to be a doctor and am more certain that ever that i possess all the capabilities and qualifications necessary, there is a part of me that feels like there are a few more things i need to do and experience before med school, before i devote the rest of my life to serving others.
need to visit my family eldercare client tomorrow. also need to resubmit my volunteer app to the hospital. and find out about medical mission trips.
in other random news, i really really love my dog. she's great and i dunno what i would do without her. she just makes me happy.
and, maybe i wouldn't mine being a general surgeon in a rural area. or, dare i even say it, a family care physician in a rural area. i've always been attracted to big cities, but, there is such a need for family practicioners in small towns. no, i gotta stick with surgery.
there was a q & a with the dean from baylor yesterday and in one of his answers he talked about using the supplemental application to explain parts of your academic record or whatever you needed to explain without trying for sympathy from the admissions committee. and for the first time ever, i could see, could almost start writing it in my head, how i could write about and talk about the accident and everything i've been through the past three years from a different perspective, from a perspective of how it's made me a better person, how much i've learned about myself, how it's been an obstacle but i have, at least right now, more than ever before, moved beyond it. and mostly i have. it was literally like a light shining into my brain. the whole room seemed to get a little bit brighter and i sat up a bit straighter and there was suddenly a path before me i'd never bothered to look for before now.
cold hard bitch
just a kiss on the lips
and i was on my knees
waiting give me