i don't want to have to explain to anyone why i'm back here. i don't even want to be here. but i don't know where else to go, who to call, who to email, who to talk to. jesus, i never thought i'd be here again. i thought i had moved on, was long gone, was well past all of this ( Read more... )

just rode my bike 63 miles in the rosedale ride

i am very proud of myself

my butt hurts

bad

i  took yesterday off from work and dena and I drove up to dallas at like 1 am tuesday. we got to my dad's house around 5 because we stopped to eat at jack in the box and then stopped again later so i could take a 30 minute nap before resuming the drive. even then, it took dena talking to me the last 40 minutes of the drive to stay awake. but, for ( Read more... )

i'm taking a bike repair class right now through yellow bike, a nonprofit community bike project in austin, and i love it. once you've spent 12 hours volunteering with them (and the 12 hour class counts) you get to build your own bike from all their parts and bikes. dena wants me to build her a bike and i really want to build myself a road bike. ( Read more... )

i haven't updated since i can't remember when. i think lj tells me when i log on to read my friends page but i never pay attention. and tonight, despite being really tired and having a very strangely-shaped sunburn on my back, i feel like writing. my g/f is distracting me. she's reading this as i type it. not conducive to great words but, eh, i ( Read more... )

Normally I am obsessed with one song at a time. Right now, it's three: Dixie Lullaby by Pat Green, Into the Ocean by Blue October, and A Sorta Fairytale by Tori Amos. These are the only songs on my playlist right now. I've been listening to them for three days straight and I can't seem to get enough and even when I'm not at home listening, all ( Read more... )

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My buddhist meditation from Friday, and now my own personal goal:

The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught, the trap is forgotten. The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten. The purpose of words is to convey ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are ( Read more... )

don't you know heartaches are heroes when their pockets are full?i've forbidden myself from speaking of certain things (is that sentence grammatically correct?) so i thought i'd let rosanne cash speak for me. no, really. i've been listening to this song on repeat most of the day ( Read more... )

so, last night i had an experience that gave me cause to be reflective about what it was like the first few times we hung out. what i remember about it is that i was nervous and self-conscious but i wasn't ever afraid. and last night i was afraid ( Read more... )