the sound of lonliness makes me happier...
03/13/05
i am writting from the computer at my house. yep i'm back in brownsville. just visiting though. it feels nice to be home. Its a little strange, but i feel in place. I'll be doing a lot of hanging out with the family. My mom practically died cuz i'm leaving wed. but i think shes come to terms with it. I just hate the guilt trips she puts me on sometimes. Well im here now and i hope to make it worth while.
cant wait to go to austin hopefully to see Tegan and Sara and Ed Harcourt! and anybody else i can catch. Its gonna be awesome.
well it seems as though were becoming regulars at bonham. haha thats crazy i never imagined myself an avid clubber. but then again i didnt plan on anything i do now. Bonham is fun, i dance, or at least try to, and look for hot guys even though its a 99.999% chance that thyre gay. sometimes i glance at the strippers ;p just look, no touch. i'm still scared of what they'll do to me. ahhhhhh a lesbo asked me to dance. freeeeakyy. yeah bonham is cool and everything, but i dont want a gay boyfriend or a girlfriend!
juan tried to kiss me. lol, that was crazy. i dont know what goes through that boys head. he's cool though. he talks like theres no tomorrow and well so far hes the only friend that actually wants to hang out with us. even if does show up unexpected at least he visits us. i felt a little uncomftorable around him at first, but i think i'm getting used to him now. it's all good. crazy juan.
i think i'm starting to get over him. yeah it still makes me feel sad sometimes, but enough is enough. i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. i've tried and he just pushes me further away each time. i'm waiting for nothing and wasting my time. i mean it this time. maybe i'll break that dumb cup. ha! get me a new boyfriend fast!
well gilbert i'm going back with you so no need to worry anymore, you wont be alone. we can party our brains out if we wanna. its not right how attached we are. its funny. the two spinsters. not forever. i hope. well at least we'll always have each other. for now its good.
thats real college and shit...