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so i got to spend a lot of time with sean this weekend and it was really nice. we hung out thursday and i slept over. it was pretty normal. didn't fight for the first time in a while. nothing super exciting though.
then saturday i did some bar hopping with tina and some of our friends. top dog, the jug, then brysons. then we decided to go back to rays for relay. well i sent sean a fb message cause i didn't wanna bother him just saying "haha this kid at the bar im at looks exactly like your cousin." and he texts me like why don't you just text me? and starts calling me all our cute nick names for each other which we haven't called each other in so long. and then hes trying to get me to come over and sleep over. and i obvs couldn't because i had been drinking. and continued to drink til oh, 6am. fun times.
ANYWAY. so then sunday. he was going to six flags which he asked me to come saturday night but couldn't cause it was fathers day. oh and i took my daddy to the phillies game & out to dinner. it was nice. so then after all that i go out to the pub with stef for some drinks. and i had texted sean earlier in the day just saying like hey whats up. then he texts me on his way back from six flags and wants me to come over when he gets back. like talking all cute again. so i go over when he gets back and we watch true blood & stuff. and i slept there again and it was cuutee.
then yesterday we spent like the whole day together. he came with me to meet with a lawyer then we went out to lunch at chilis and went to walmart to get our dog treats & stuff. so then he wanted to take a nap when we got back so i was like ok well im going to stefs to swim. text me later if you wanna hang out. so i go out to dinner with stef & nicole then we go to the bar for drinks. around 12ish he texts me asking where i am and who im with and what im doing. so i tell him im at the pub and he says theyre gonna come up there. well he was already pretty trashed when he got there, but obviously continued to drink. a little while after he first got there i went over and like grabbed his arm and kissed his cheek. and he was like ash, you don't need to be like that. you know i came here to see you. then later i here him talking to the bartender/owner and other people at the bar saying "i try but i'm never going to stop loving her. i'm so inlove with her and all this stuff." which i thought was super cute. since he keeps trying to tell me him hes not inlove with me anymore and i know its because hes trying to convince himself hes not. because ive done it, too. and hes like saying how were always going to love each other. and he hasn't acted this way in a while so it was kinda nice to hear him saying it. so then i go home with him again. and we got home and i was like you know you told the whole bar youre in love with me? and hes like i am in love with you. and like kissed me and said i love you first before we went to sleep. and the past couple nights hes been like cuddling with me and holding me. and this morning he dropped me off at my house and kissed me and said he loved me with no problem. which in the mornings whether we were sober or not the night before hes kinda hesitant saying.
like i know we aren't getting back together. and im not so sure i would even wanna get back together but hes going away soon and i just really wanna be here for him right now because i know he needs me. and its gonna be so hard when hes gone so id just like to get in all the time i can with him while hes still here. because he may be gone for a year. GAH. its just like, i absolutely love falling asleep with him and waking up next to him. its like the best feeling in the world even after all these years. ok im done talking about sean. im gonna go play on tumblr now i think.
ALSO THIS THUNDER IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW AND IM HOME ALONE. AHHHHHHHH.
then saturday i did some bar hopping with tina and some of our friends. top dog, the jug, then brysons. then we decided to go back to rays for relay. well i sent sean a fb message cause i didn't wanna bother him just saying "haha this kid at the bar im at looks exactly like your cousin." and he texts me like why don't you just text me? and starts calling me all our cute nick names for each other which we haven't called each other in so long. and then hes trying to get me to come over and sleep over. and i obvs couldn't because i had been drinking. and continued to drink til oh, 6am. fun times.
ANYWAY. so then sunday. he was going to six flags which he asked me to come saturday night but couldn't cause it was fathers day. oh and i took my daddy to the phillies game & out to dinner. it was nice. so then after all that i go out to the pub with stef for some drinks. and i had texted sean earlier in the day just saying like hey whats up. then he texts me on his way back from six flags and wants me to come over when he gets back. like talking all cute again. so i go over when he gets back and we watch true blood & stuff. and i slept there again and it was cuutee.
then yesterday we spent like the whole day together. he came with me to meet with a lawyer then we went out to lunch at chilis and went to walmart to get our dog treats & stuff. so then he wanted to take a nap when we got back so i was like ok well im going to stefs to swim. text me later if you wanna hang out. so i go out to dinner with stef & nicole then we go to the bar for drinks. around 12ish he texts me asking where i am and who im with and what im doing. so i tell him im at the pub and he says theyre gonna come up there. well he was already pretty trashed when he got there, but obviously continued to drink. a little while after he first got there i went over and like grabbed his arm and kissed his cheek. and he was like ash, you don't need to be like that. you know i came here to see you. then later i here him talking to the bartender/owner and other people at the bar saying "i try but i'm never going to stop loving her. i'm so inlove with her and all this stuff." which i thought was super cute. since he keeps trying to tell me him hes not inlove with me anymore and i know its because hes trying to convince himself hes not. because ive done it, too. and hes like saying how were always going to love each other. and he hasn't acted this way in a while so it was kinda nice to hear him saying it. so then i go home with him again. and we got home and i was like you know you told the whole bar youre in love with me? and hes like i am in love with you. and like kissed me and said i love you first before we went to sleep. and the past couple nights hes been like cuddling with me and holding me. and this morning he dropped me off at my house and kissed me and said he loved me with no problem. which in the mornings whether we were sober or not the night before hes kinda hesitant saying.
like i know we aren't getting back together. and im not so sure i would even wanna get back together but hes going away soon and i just really wanna be here for him right now because i know he needs me. and its gonna be so hard when hes gone so id just like to get in all the time i can with him while hes still here. because he may be gone for a year. GAH. its just like, i absolutely love falling asleep with him and waking up next to him. its like the best feeling in the world even after all these years. ok im done talking about sean. im gonna go play on tumblr now i think.
ALSO THIS THUNDER IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW AND IM HOME ALONE. AHHHHHHHH.